Chapter 12 What If?

I tried to call Christopher but he never answered. A moment later he phoned me back.

“Hello? Who’s this?” he asked.

I took a deep breath, “Hey Christopher it’s me Delilah.” I said.

“Oh, is everything okay?” he asked.

“I know this is out of the blue but I had been thinking about us a lot lately. I miss having you in my life.” I said.

“Delilah…” he said.

“Wait just hear me out for a moment.” I said.

He sighed, “Okay.” He said as he gave me a chance to explain.

“No matter what happened I always want to be with you. Through the bad and good.” I said.

“You don't have a right to tell me how you feel. Okay, I’m with someone else now.” He said.

“Oh…” I said

“Delilah you moved on. I moved on. You didn't expect to just pine around for you did you? You can’t do this to me now,” He said.

“No what isn't fair Christopher is that I still love you. I'm still as I was before when we were kids, madly in love with you. I’ve seen you around town with her, looking at her the way you used to look at me,” I said.

“So you knew? Why did you call?” he asked.

“I wanted a second chance. I wanted my best friend back.” I said.

“You walked away from me remember? I presented to you a future and you turned me down.” He said.

“I guess I’ll need to try and be happy for you. But I can't help feel jealous and heartbroken.” I said.

“I didn’t want to but I forgave you when you walked away from me - when you walked away from us. I believed you would be happier without me. I tried for you so I think you could try for me,” He said.

“When you look back on us would you call it love? Do you ever think of us?

Will we ever have our happily ever?” I asked him.

“Yes.” He said

“Yes what?” I asked.

“Yes I would have called it love. Yes, I did think of you and us a lot after things ended between us. Delilah I meant it when I said I loved you. Yes, we will have our happy ending; just not with each other… we’re too toxic.

A tear trickled down my cheek as I hung up the phone.

There's a reason why my walls are built so high, and there’s a reason it takes me a long time to bring them down. There are reasons why I put walls up, that I guard myself. I guard myself because I've been hurt before. But this time I'm angry... I'm angry with myself because it was my decision to choose to have my heart broken. So I must take full responsibility for a fault of mine ~ wearing my heart upon my sleeve. I guess I trust too easily for someone to do right by me and not hurt me.