Sienna walked back over to the group and gave Aideen a hug goodbye. 

“Please don’t go to bed yet,” Aideen whined and held onto Sienna.

“Do you feel unwell?” Declan asked and wondered why she wanted to turn in for the night. Sienna usually went to bed late and stayed up studying, reading or just binge-watching a series.

“No,” Sienna yawned and stretched out her arms. “I’m just sleepy,” She added. Declan nodded, and everyone said goodnight. Sienna walked back to her room and ran herself a bath full of bath salts; the scent of lemongrass filled the air. She felt extremely relaxed and lay in the water with her eyes closed.

She thought back to all of the awful things that Declan had done to her and that she did to him. She forgave him, and maybe it was stupid of her to still want to be with him, but her heart believed there was good inside of him. She never thought she would have been in a toxic relationship and always told herself that she would walk away as soon as she noticed a red flag. Yet, she found herself hoping that they could be together, and maybe her heart wouldn’t let him go for a reason. 

Through it all, she believed that she had found herself. She discovered who she truly was, found new interests and gained self-confidence that she never had before. In some weird way, Declan helped her believe that she had self-worth and deserved to be happy. After all, isn’t that what every person wants? Happiness. 

Was she happy living the way she was? Yes. Sienna could finish school; she didn’t have to stress about finances, and she knew her family was well taken care of. The only worry she had was the baby growing inside of her, which she knew was already going to have a great life. Both her and Declan would give up their lives to keep their child safe. Her other worry was to ensure Declan was also happy. She felt that because he took care of everyone else, it was her job to care for him. Even if it was something as simple as putting a smile on his face. Sienna wanted Declan to be happy as well.

Declan had never tried to force himself onto her. So many women, unfortunately, went through such, and Sienna was grateful that she wasn’t ever put in that situation. The only time he had physically hurt her was when he placed his hands around her neck. She was also guilty of verbal abuse and said some awful things that weren’t true. When you’re angry, all you want to do is hurt the person that made you upset; therefore, you think of the worst possible thing to tell them. She felt guilty for what she had said and wished she could control her temper when it came to him. They were both hot-headed, which sometimes made them clash. 

Relationships aren’t easy, and not all of them are paths with minor bumps along the way. Some have massive boulders, a patch full of nails or even holes that you can’t get past. In other cases, when he cut her hair, the relationship should have ended there, but it didn’t because they still had the potential to help each other be better. For Declan, he learned how to be more gentle, that everyone deserved respect, and he should speak to others politely regardless of who they are. For Sienna, she learned to speak up for herself, be a little bit selfish and not let people walk over her. 

Sienna climbed out of the bath and dried her body. She put on a simple nightgown and climbed into bed. Her goals had even changed; now, she wanted to give Declan all the love she possibly could and be a fantastic mother to her baby. She cuddled a pillow and listened to the ocean crashing against the shore. The most violent thing can be beautiful as well.

She dozed off into a light sleep until a simple knock came from her door. 

“Sienna? Are you awake?” Declan whispered and softly opened the door to peek in. 

“I am now.” She replied with a small smile. “What’s going on?” She asked and noticed the pair of hair clippers in his hand. Declan walked over to her bed and fell onto his knees in front of her. 

“I came to apologize. I know I’m not the easiest person to live with, and I don’t deserve your kindness or simply even just to be happy.” He started to say.

“It’s okay.” Sienna interrupted. 

“No, Sienna. It’s not okay; it’s far from okay. My whole life, I’ve been filled with this hatred for everyone and mostly for myself. There is no excuse for the way I have acted and treated you. I think you helped me grow back my conscience and made me realize that I can’t just do what I want without facing the consequences. You were the first person to stand up against me while everyone else just let me be this awful person. I am ashamed of my actions and thinking back on it, I have so much regret, guilt and disgust for how I was. I want to change. I want to be better for you, our child, and myself. I can’t go back in time and take back what I’ve done, but I wish I could. The best way I can describe it is that I’ve been lost in this darkness literally my whole life. That exact moment we were rescued from the hotel, I saw this hope that maybe this world has some good left in it.” Declan said and held so much emotion in his voice that Sienna was speechless. He looked down and continued talking. 

“When I was three, I shot my parents thinking it was a game, and both of them died. So my whole life, I grew up being told that I killed my own parents and made my sister and me orphans. We were at an orphanage for a year, and no one would talk to me or try to help me understand that I couldn’t blame myself. I was alone, and because it was at such a young age, I believed this was all I deserved. I felt like the world was against me, so I turned my back on the world. I pushed everyone away, including Aideen. To be honest, the only reason I went with the Fosters when they adopted us was to keep an eye out for my sister. I knew I had ruined her life and taken away her happiness before she could even experience it.” He softly said, and his voice broke at times. Declan looked back up and had tears running down his face.

“Aideen turned out wonderful. She is so happy now.” Sienna replied and moved to sit on the edge of the bed. She used her hands to wipe away his tears and held his face. 

“She has made a life for herself and found happiness on her own. I still feel guilty that I never helped her, but I know that my sister is her own person, responsible for her own happiness. I realize that now and also understand that the same goes for me. So many therapists have said that the only person that can help me is myself, which is true, but I needed someone to help me first. That was you, Sienna; you were that beam of light that came into my life and proved that even if you have a difficult past, you shouldn’t let it affect your own happiness.” 

“I am far from perfect Declan. I have my own issues, and lately, I can’t seem to control my anger. I think it’s because I’ve always just been submissive my whole life and taken the punches people threw at me. Usually, if you can take a few, then you can take more. So I was walked over and taken advantage of. All of that anger was suppressed inside of me, but when I met you, I knew you wouldn’t expect me to be this perfect woman, which for some odd reason, made me feel free. I am so scared of letting people down and of disappointment that I hid who I truly was.” Sienna confessed and felt tears come to her eyes as well. 

“I’m sorry for also taking advantage of you. I used my money to pay for your body and then again to make you come to South Africa with me. I know I manipulated you and threatened to kidnap you, but I swear I will never do that again. I wasn’t used to not getting what I wanted; that’s no excuse, but I just want you to understand why. I’m going to change; it might take a while, and progress slowly. I understand if you no longer wish to be with me, and I’m willing to let you go. I will tear up this contract that we agreed on and still pay to take care of your family. I will provide you with all the money you need to be on your own and just ask that I still be a part of our child’s life.” 

“Declan, I’m not going anywhere. I want to be with you, and I’m willing to wait for you to get better.”

“You have no idea how happy that makes me.” He smiled. “To truly prove I am sorry, it’s going to take some time, but for now, I want you to cut my hair. Just like I cut yours. Give me patches if you want, or even make me bold.” Declan remarked and placed the hair clippers into her hands.

“That’s not necessary.” Sienna objected and tried to give him back the clippers.

“Please,” He begged and stared into her big brown eyes. Sienna nodded and got up to plug the clippers into the output source next to her bed. She switched them on, and the buzzing filled the room. Sienna exhaled and started cutting away his hair. The curly blonde strands fell to the floor as she shaved all of his hair off and left him with a buzz cut. 

“Your beautiful hair.” Sienna frowned and touched his head. The process was quite therapeutic and made both her and Declan feel better. He refused to help her clean up his hair and wanted to do it himself. 

“Goodnight, Sienna,” Declan stated and placed a soft kiss on her forehead. “I’m going to take a shower, then off to bed. Sleep well, my heart.” He added and walked off. 

Sienna felt her heart racing as she lay in bed and listened to the shower switch on in the next room. She wanted to be with Declan, and her heart cried out to go to him. When the shower switched off, she got out of bed and quickly walked to his room. Sienna didn’t even knock and just walked in to find Declan still in a towel. 

“Sorry, uh.” She mumbled and looked away. “I wanted to stay with you tonight, I don’t expect anything, but I just want to be close to you.” She explained and felt Declan’s presence as he walked over to her. 

“I would love that.” He replied and cupped her face in his hands. A smile was on his lips, and even though his hair was gone, Sienna thought he looked extremely handsome. She stared into his dark blue eyes and could see a man fighting through his pain to become better. 

“I just need to get dressed.” He laughed, grabbed a pair of pants, and then walked back to the bathroom. Sienna smiled and climbed into his bed. The sheets smelled just like him, and she felt like she did in her favourite place. Declan Foster was her happy place. 

He climbed in next to her and asked, “Can I hold you?” Sienna nodded, so he pulled her closer to him, and they cuddled. She had started to fall asleep when Declan whispered, “I love you.” Sienna kept quiet and fell asleep with a massive smile on her face while thinking, I love you too.