I look at X’s face, confused. I don’t understand what he’s doing there, and I made it clear that we had nothing else to talk about. 

— We are going to visit your friends at Lac Rose.- remember X noticing my confusion with his presence there. — Forgot that we had agreed?

— I did not forget. Only I... - I start to say when I notice that he is still very serious.

—I wait for you downstairs. - interrupts X moving away.

I close the door and lean against it. Honestly, after all that was said, I could never imagine that he would remember and keep the commitment. I take a quick shower, while I try to keep as much control as possible. Ten minutes later we are all going to the village. Richard looks at me from the corner, no doubt he noticed that X and I are distant, but I don’t want to give room for explanations, so I spend most of my time looking at the road landscape.

We arrive in the village and are welcomed by Leo, who is very cheerful. She hugs us, smiling.

—Welcome. - says Leo to X .— Come, you have a lot to know.

X walks alongside Leonor as I walk behind, trying to control my emotions and pretend that nothing had happened. We spent most of the day seeing the foundations of the school, the health center and playing with the children, as much as I don’t want to admit, X has a way with children. He was attentive to everyone, who loved to run their hands through his hair. Lucky children, I think as I watch X smile with his little hands exploring her hair. 

—Come to lunch! - shouts Estevão, waving to us.

I walk towards the table's mounted, when I feel my arm being pulled. I turn, almost giving face to face with X. His breath, so close, irritates me. Why is he teasing me, if in the end he will hurt me?

—We need to talk...

—Now we have to have lunch. - I say, letting go of her hand.
I reach the table where the village chief, Leo, is, Estevão and the expedition staff. We have a huge platter with rice in a bed of boiled vegetables and fish. All take with their hands on the same platter, a typical lunch of them. Corner eyes to see if X would make a disgust face and grab a spoon or eat with his hands. But he doesn’t mind, takes a little with his hand and puts it in his mouth, then he gives a slight smile, damn it he realized. I put some food in my mouth and all I feel is hot. The dish is spicy, very spicy. I can’t make a fuss, since it’s an honor to be able to eat with the village chief, so I take some water and drink. 

I spend lunch, silent, I’m not really at the table, but thinking about what more X would have to tell me… how much more he can hurt me… how many times he will break my heart… 

It was almost the end of the afternoon when we said goodbye to the staff and returned to the road. Richard took us home, because Aidê and two friends of theirs were leaving home. As soon as we arrived, they were already waiting to take everyone to the airport.

— If it’s no bother, could you take me to my hotel? - question X.

—No doubt. Just sit there on the couch and wait for the staff to finish packing. - explains Richard.

I take a deep breath and turn towards my room, then again my arm is held, but this time harder. I turn and X faces me, really.

— We need to finish our conversation yesterday, since once again you ran away and gave me no right to answer.- says X. He touches my chin, approaching my face. — I’ll come back later and have dinner.

Her eyes penetrate into mine… I feel my mouth getting dry and more and more when I look at her lips so close… our breaths are rhythmic... 

— See you... – whisper, joining all my strength to get away from him.

I close the door to my room and lie on the bed. Do I have the strength to have another dinner with him?

***

After a long bath, I choose my clothes: shorts and white blouse, tunic style with a generous neckline. I leave my hair loose and wet. I’m going to go into the kitchen and cook a grilled fish and fries. This time dinner will be here at home, easier to control what can happen and still save on the taxi. After all, my house, my rules.

The intercom rings, so my heart freezes: it can only be him. Dry my hands and attend, application for standard authorization, accepted and in a few minutes X opens the door, entering with a bottle of white wine in his hands.

I take the bottle and put it on the table and go to the kitchen to get the dish I made. I walk fast so as not to give a gap for him to talk to me. We had dinner in the greatest silence, in fact I had dinner unwillingly and saw that X just stirred his plate. I take our dishes and take them to the washer. I fix the kitchen and when I notice it is on the countertop, head down.

— Dalia... – says, raising his head.

— We go to my room. - I interrupt, taking your hand and pulling it. — There is better and more reserved.

Not to mention that it has a balcony with two super comfortable armchairs and exit to the pool. In case the conversation does not please me, it is easier to dispatch him playing in the pool.

We sat in the armchairs in silence... that silence that is worse than screams and cries... I look at him and I notice that X stares at me... he’s with his face closed... maybe he was suffering... fighting himself. Then I notice that the fact that he is there with me, is a battle he is waging against his feelings...

— Dalia, because of you, I’ve been up all night thinking about everything you said. I never wanted you to have feelings for me... I warned you... for God ... I warned you from the beginning that I did not talk to girls... but there you were ... offering everything you had for me... that I never gave anything in return. I think you deserve a fair exchange after so many years of talking. It’s clear that the tension increased after we met. I...

I don’t want to hear anything else, I stand up and sit on X’s lap, staring at me, surprised. I place my finger over his lips.

—Don’t say anything else, just feel it.

I approach my lips to yours, touch them carefully ... afraid that he would disappear as in all the times I dreamed of him, in which I made love to my husband thinking of him. He opens his lips slowly, I can’t believe I’m kissing him ... after so many years imagining how is the taste of his mouth... now I know: a true nectar of the gods... I kiss with more intensity, I want more and more of that flavor... I feel that I could not live without having felt that flavor...

His hand touches my face, carefully... zealously... as if I were the most valuable crystal... Ahhhh how long I waited for that touch... His hand goes to the nape of my neck, it looks like fire marking my skin... it touches my hair and pulls it slowly, slightly pushing my lips away from him. He bites my lip carefully, making me shiver. He kisses my chin, my neck... Then he touches my lips with his fingers and says:

—Here we do not...

I look into his brown eyes, and I’m sure: The battle has been won... He rises from the chair with me in his arms. I kiss your neck, I smell you ... I don’t want to forget... I can’t forget... I bite your ear slowly and see your skin shiver. He puts me carefully on the bed and gives me an intense kiss and then walks away admiring me. 

For some reason, something tells me that he’s about to give up, sitting on the edge of the bed and pull him close to me. I look at him and I say,

—It doesn’t matter the next day. I want you, even if it’s just for one night. I need a memory of you, even if it’s only for a few hours… It doesn’t matter anymore. Today it’s just you and me, X.

 He pulls my hair back and takes my lips, confirming that he does too. He kneels in front of me and straightens my hair, runs his hands across my face, touches my lips biting his... I watch every part of her face, every detail... I can’t forget... I don’t want to forget... Her hands go down to my shoulders and then pass lightly through my breasts... leaving a trail of warmth... Then your hands stop at the end of my tunic. I face your eyes... I know what it means... I know there’s no turning back... I raise my arms, and he slides my tunic towards my head, tenderly. I smile at him and hold his polo shirt, making him smile lightly and nods. I take your shirt off slowly, I want to enjoy every second, little by little your defined pectoral is emerging... then your mouth appears... I do not resist any of the kiss, it belongs to me, tonight it is mine, and I want to do what I want, without fear. He returns the kiss and finishes taking off his shirt. Shakes his head, straightening his hair. I step my hand on them , they are soft... light... He approaches me kissing, as his arms envelop me... his hands explore my bra, finding the beam and opening. He looks at me as he takes it off... X pushes me with his body towards the bed, laying down. He kisses my mouth, goes down my chin, neck, and then sighs staring at my breasts. — Her breasts are the way I imagined...- says X with a sly smile on her lips. — Perfect for my mouth.

He touches my right breast only with his lips, and closes them in my beak, slowly, making me groan low. Then he passes his tongue around as he looks at my face full of pleasure. He sticks it little by little in his mouth until he has it all to himself, sucking with taste. Meanwhile his hand takes the other , playing with my beak, making him clog up... torture... that’s the only word I can think of. Then he reverses... sucking them more willingly... making me delirious... never thought how much this alone would give me enough pleasure...

He then goes down my belly giving intense kisses, almost hickeys... then arrives at the waistband of my shorts. He opens it tightly, almost tearing my shorts in the body. He lowers my shorts and my panties down my legs to my feet. He holds my foot and kisses it and then comes down my leg, kissing and taking light bites... thighs... then he stops between my legs, bites his lips... he desires me...

My eyes open and I groan ... when I feel the softness of X’s lips touch me... he kisses carefully...then intensifies the touch... sucks... licks... he knows exactly what to do... I feel in each part... he sticks and intensifies the touch... explores my clitoris... I try to muffle my groans... but he torture... he wants my moans... my screams... my pleasure of years, behind a computer screen... years of written moans... Then I groan... give myself... I am his... he takes me whole... completely... with his mouth... my orgasms are intense... one after the other... and he remains relentless... thirsty for more ... groan the highest ... no matter if anyone would listen... listen... nothing more important... I throw my body forward holding on the head of X that remains between my legs... scream and feel the climax... complete... perfect... fall into bed panting... He comes to me and kisses me, without barriers, without any fear.

—What a woman’s delight you are, Dalia. - praises X. 

I kiss him hard. I touch his back, his arms and go down with my hand to the waistband of his pants. It’s unfair that I’m the only one naked in bed. He walks away and walks out of bed. He crosses his arms and stares at me, enigmatic.

— No ma'am. - He says smiling. — Come here.

Hitch to the edge and sit down. He approaches... slowly... showing that it is he who is in control... Hold my hair and kiss my mouth, merciless.

— What do you want Dalia? - asks X facing me intensely.

—You... - I answer, panting. I go towards his belt, but he moves away.

— No, ma'am. - Says X, smiling. - What do you want?

— I want you...- I say, so I notice I’m not saying exactly what I want. — I want your dick...

— Hummm... Ask for my cock, Dalia.- orders X. - and you will have it. It will be all yours.

I take a deep breath staring into his eyes, he’s really serious.

— X, please give me your cock. I want it, the desire... I want your cock in me - I beg, at least I do the best I can, since I’ve never been one to beg for anything.

X takes off his belt and his pants, getting completely naked in front of me. His penis is stiff and waiting for me. Perfect the way I always imagined it to be. My hand goes towards him, but he nods in denial.

—Before my dick gets into you... you’re gonna suck it the way you always said you would if I ever found you. I’ve always dreamed of your lips around him.

He puts himself in front of me, so I hold his penis fondly. I kiss his belly and go down to his groin, kiss and caress with my hands. Then I masturbate his penis with my hand , very soft... slowly... X closes his eyes feeling the pleasure of my touch. I begin to lick the tip of his penis gently, while holding the penis. Then I begin to lick his glans as I masturbate him. His face shows the enormous pleasure he is feeling. I descend with my mouth to his testicles, sucking with will and exciting him even more.  I caress with my tongue and then do a slight suction on her balls to her delirium. Then I rise again to her cock that awaits me anxiously. I lick his entire penis from top to bottom and then start putting it all in my mouth. Then I start to go up and down with my head towards him who groans, holding my hair. The more his erection increases, the faster I go.  Then he bends, to my surprise and enjoys. 

But it won’t take long and he’s ready for another one. We get down on our knees front to front, then we fit our bodies in a tight embrace... your body against mine ... my body against yours... automatically we begin to swing back and forth, leaning on our feet... Safe in the back of his neck and accelerate a little more... I want to feel him inside me... more... more... He pulls my hip against his... moaning with pleasure...

Then I push him further to the bed, causing him to throw his body back. I lean on his shoulders and sit on his lap... enjoying the delight of being penetrated slowly and deeper... then increase the pace, X plays with my breasts , sucking with will... Our bodies enter into the same rhythm... He bites his lips and pulls me, kissing my lips with fury.

— X...-I mean, panting.

— Dalia...- he says touching my lips. He passes his hand over my entire face, admiring me...  —  My Dalia...

Then he turns my body, putting me on all fours, and then penetrates me holding my hips tightly. X pulls my hair and increases the rhythm... explodes the desire... I’m burning as if on fire... I want to burn...I want to be his... even if there is no tomorrow... I want today... We groan together, crazy... it’s fire ... it’s passion... it’s desire... no matter what... We get lost in time...me and him  ... one body... we are one...