After the conversation I had with Carlos, I decided to read my emails that had accumulated in the last 20 days:

Mother --------Longing for you 01/02/2011
Valerie---------sister How is? 20/01/2011
Filomena -----African Miss 19/01/2011
Mr.X -----------I NEED TO TALK TO YOU! 15/01/2011 
Mr.X -----------Where are you? 14/01/2011 
Mr.X -----------Reply to this email 13/01/2011 
Mr.X----------- Why don’t you answer the phone? 12/01/2011
Mr.X -----------How are you? 11/01/2011

My heart wanted to jump out of my mouth when I saw not one, but five emails from Mr.X. Each one more desperate than the other, asking where I was or why I didn’t answer the phone.  In one of the last I asked that at least I reply to your emails.  I’m torn between not responding and ignoring you or responding.  But I know that at that moment I need someone to talk to and know better than anyone what was going on in my life.  So many things have changed in me that I really need to tell someone if I’m not going to explode.

— Dalia! - cries Eleanor of the room, making me awake from my thought.

I leave the computer open and go to the living room to meet my friend who arrived from the village with Estevão.  Hug my friend, dead of longing.

—At last it arrived. - says Leo, excited. — So, how was Mali?

—It was wonderful... without explanation. - I say, quiet.

— Great.  Have you told Carlos?  Surely this news will encourage him to come. - says Estevão.

—I have already spoken. - I say, trying to disguise my sadness. — But it is very likely that he will not come.

—Really? - asks Leo. — And what will you do?
— Nothing. Honestly, I left everything in the hands of Destiny. - I answer, calm. — If my husband comes, better for us, If not, worse for him. 

—Wow! - exclaims Leo, surprise with my answer. — Who saw you, who sees you…

If it were in other times, you would have gone to Portugal after Carlos and not come back without him. Who are you, and what did you do with my friend?

Eleanor’s words made me see the obvious: I changed. No doubt, if it was before, I would have dragged Carlos here even if he did not want to. I always managed to get what I wanted, but today I know that this kind of attitude will not bring me what I really want. I learned that there are bigger problems to worry about than running after someone.

— People change. - I answer, smiling.

—Really. - comments Leo. — Mali has changed you radically.

—I hope so, yes.

— Now it only remains to be seen if he has changed his palate to food as well. - says Leo, throwing the dish cloth at me. — Let’s make dinner.

***

After dinner, I was talking for hours with Leonor and Estevão about Mali and also about the news and Lac Rose. The works are half way, exciting us all. Soon the village would have the minimum necessary. As we are all tired, we go to our rooms. As soon as I arrive at mine, I notice that I left my computer on with my email open. I take a deep breath and sit down again, I decide to do what my heart tells me. I answer all the emails, and I also decide to answer the X’s.

----------------------------
To: Mr. X
Cc:
Cco:
Subject: Solitary confinement
Hello X,

I’m fine, I just stayed incommunicado for a few days and had no time to look at emails that were not from my family.
Dália Penedo Salazar.
----------------------------

I know I was a little thick in the email , but I’m without patience and do not want anyone else bothering me. I want tranquility, thing that X ...

Mr. X RE:I NEED TO TALK TO YOU! 02/02/2011

I open the e-mail at the same time:

----------------------------
RE:I NEED TO TALK TO YOU!
From: Mr.X 
Sent: Wednesday, February 2, 2011 8:05:38 PM
To: Dalia Penedo Salazar. 

I need to talk to you. What’s the best time to call you?
Att,
X.
----------------------------

----------------------------
To: Mr. X
Cc:
Cco:
Subject: RE:I NEED TO TALK TO YOU!
Any time, except this weekend, because I’ll be in Saly.
Dália Penedo Salazar.
----------------------------

Saly is a tourist town with large resorts and condominiums by the sea, a true paradise on earth. The expedition staff and I have rented a house for the weekend, as Aidê and Richard are leaving for a proper farewell with a drink. Senegal is a Muslim country, where you cannot drink alcohol in public or at home. But as we are foreigners, we are allowed to drink at home. You are only allowed to drink anywhere if you meet someone very influential, making all that a great hypocrisy.

My phone rings on the bed, I go there and realize that on the display appears a number with international code different from all I know.
I answer, nervous, will I…?

— Hello, Dalia. - says X on the other side of the line. Your tone of voice gives me the terrible feeling of being very in trouble. — Are you happy with your decisions?

— Yes. - reply , dry. — Very much.

We talked for almost two hours, told him everything that was happening and the decisions I made. At no time did X judge or criticize me, making me very happy and grateful that he was there talking to me.

— Know that I will support you in every decision you make. - says X, really. — If you need anything, you can count on me.

My ironic laugh floods the room, going to the other side of the line. Mr. X can’t be serious.

— How can I count on you, if you are further away than my husband? Don’t make promises you can’t keep.

—After so many years , still do not trust my words? - question X, offended.

— Excuse me, but I’m sick of promises, and now I only believe seeing.

The awkward silence remains between us, our conversation is not going well, so I decide to change the subject:

— How are you in Switzerland? How is the adaptation of your family? Did you like it?

— That’s all right. - replies X, intimate. I feel something strange in her voice, but I don’t want to ask. I don’t want to be the jealous nag. 

—That’s good. - I answer being cordial. I want to avoid taking the conversation to another level, because I know that I will hurt myself.

— Are you running away from me, Dalia? - Question X, clear and objective.

— Obviously, I’m not running away from you. I just need some time alone to put the ideas in place. Which also includes what our friendship will be like going forward.

— I think you’re giving up your marriage. Since you don’t have the courage to tell your husband, you’ve decided to travel. And you know where I stand on that.

— But I’m not giving up. And even though I was...
— Dalia, you need to be more patient. Your marriage can’t end without you trying all the resources first. You’re too young to understand, but when you’re older, I’m sure you’ll understand.

—All right, X. Well, have a good night. - I say goodbye.

— Is there anything I can do to help you put the ideas in place… or clear your head? - Question X, with a tone that always makes me lose my temper. I know he wants to “play”.

— No, X. I am no longer “playing” with anyone. And if it is to “unwind” with someone of flesh and blood. - I say, serious.

— Good evening, Dalia. Kisses. - replies X showing no reaction.

I turn off my phone and lie in bed. What does he want from me?

***
It’s already Thursday night and there’s no sign of Mr. X . I enter the MSN and suddenly a message appears:

Mr. X says:
Hello, Doce. How are you?

Dalia Penedo Salazar says:
Well, what about you?

 He seems happy, or maybe it’s just my impression... Mr.X says: So what will your weekend be like? Are you really going to Saly? Dalia Penedo Salazar says: Yes, I will send you the link to the house where I will stay and the places I intend to visit. I send the links to him and I wait for his answer. Mr. X is typing... Mr. X is typing... Mr. X is typing... Mr. X says: Would there be room for one more? Dalia Penedo Salazar says: Probably yes... it’s a house for ten people, X. srsrsrsrsrs Mr. X says: Then get me a room. For a moment I thought I read it wrong, or that he wrote it wrong, but not to my surprise. He had actually written that, leaving me in shock. Dalia Penedo Salazar says: Don’t joke about it! If that’s true, call me now. I’m paralyzed in my chair, I have no idea where my phone is… until it starts ringing somewhere. *** I get up, being guided by the touch of my cell phone. When I listen to that breath that makes me lose the ground: — I’m serious. I’m buying a ticket for tomorrow night and I need you to pick me up at the airport. I think we need to sort out what’s going on between us. If I can’t stay the weekend with you, I’ll get a hotel, but you won’t run away from me. We’ll work everything out between us, and then you can stop running off and work things out with your husband. I’m at a loss for words. I mean he doesn’t need to come here, that I’m not running away, and I wish to be alone, but all my arguments would be in vain. All I know is that in 24 hours I’ll be face to face with Mr. X.