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To live is to risk that's what my quotes for life. I was just a simple engineering student and a vocalist of the university band, The Chase. I am in second year college right now but I still felt incomplete for unknown reason. I strived even harder and sang nicely hoping to finally satisfied myself to finally felt completed, but then... it's not worked.

"Fuck!" A girl with a red haired suddenly bumped on me causing my project fell to the grounds. Damn! Later would be the deadline of that! I looked at the girl, my heart suddenly skip its beat maybe because I'm pissed...because of my project. She looked so... beautiful even though her make up was dark. Her eyes was brown, her eyebrows and eyelashes were thick and perfect. Her lips are pouty and damn... It's looks sweet. What? Kieron, your project, you fucker! She just rolled and glared her eyes on me before walking out. What's just that happened? I shrugged and get my project, now I need to repair it! Damn.

Since that day, my eyes never left that red haired girl. I try to bump her every time I have a chance but just like the first time, she's just rolled and glared her eyes on me. Really? Why can't he recognized me? I am fucking Kieron Revollido of The Chase and then she's just walking away on me? Is my face very common on her?! Fuck! I even the most fucking handsome here! Fuck. One day, I saw her greeted our university guard, this is the first time I saw her smile and damn her dimples...my God! This would be the death of me. After that moment I started to get close to that guard and asked about her name.

Sarielle Forbes. You're going to be mine, baby.

It's been months since I started eyeing her. She's brat I know, but the way she defend others makes her more beautiful. Although, in terms of her study she seems very uninterested. My god, for an accountancy student she looks so relaxed while her block mates looked... nevermind.

"Guys, do you know that Kieron's girl caused a scene earlier and damn, she looked so hot cursing and shouting at the bullies" said Jex, our guitarist. I immediately punched his shoulder because he looks like fantasizing her, though, I like the 'Kieron's girl' part.

"Kier, it's been months since you're eyeing her, but why the hell you didn't even make a move?!" Harold, our bassist.

"Because he's still busy blackmailing other guys who's trying to get near on Sari" Andrew, the drummer laughed. Partly, it's true because there's a lot of men who wants to date her but damn, I won't let it happen! Ever.

Year passed and I finally have the plan on how am I going to get close on her. I decided to talk with Mr. Suave saying my favor to locked the storage room and open it after two hours. That storage room was her hanging out place whenever she wants to escape her class and that pisses me off. As soon as I entered the storage room, I immediately saw her lying on the floor with her bag as a pillow. Damn! I went to get close to her. She's even beautiful from this view. She's looks like an angel when she's at sleep. She opened her eyes and stared at me for a while, she suddenly stood up so our forehead bumped and made her unconscious. What the fuck?! After she kissed me back that day, I know that I'm immediately got stranded...on her.

It's been a year since we officially together and right now, I'm the happiest. She became my rest, my source and the my reason why I am looking forward for new mornings. Little did she know, I already talked to her Dad the day she said yes. I remember it vividly...

"Good evening, Sir" He's an engineer, I heard.

"Who are you?" He asked. His voice sound dangerously. Damn!

"I'm Kieron Revollido, I'm your daughter's boyfriend. I'm here to say that I will take care and love her until our next lifetime..." I said trying to hide my nervousness.

"Why do you love her?" He lazily asked.

"I didn't have any specific reason why I love your daughter Sir, but if ever I have... it's always beyond any reason." I said.

"I love my daughter dearly boy, and If I'm going to be the evil to your relationship just to make sure that you really love my daughter beyond any reasons, then I would surely do it without any hesitation" he said.

"I will love her Sir, I promised." I said.

He laughed and shook his head "Loving my daughter is the most easiest thing on earth, but understand and accepting her would much appreciated for me. If fate test you by separation and you won't accept her anymore...then you just proved me wrong. It's means that you're not deserving on her selfless love." He said before he stood up and tap my shoulder, leaving me dumbfounded.

"Mr. Revollido, come to my office" my prof said. So I stood up and followed her.

"You're not going to take your final exam because your scholarship got cancelled" she said. My eyes widened. What? My grades are very much approved for my scholarship so what the hell was happening? This our last exam for Pete's sake! I didn't have any savings right now because I just bought a engagement ring for Sari. I will propose to her on our graduation.

I went to music room, I suddenly saw the three idiots but not with their famous smirked. I smell something fishy.

"What's with your faces?" I asked.

"Bro, The Chase just got disbanded" Andrew said. What the fuck?!

"Why?" I asked.

"They didn't want to tell the reason behind it" said Jex.

I sighed. Too much for this day. I also try to lend some money to them for me to get the final exam but they said that they are broke too...

"Why?" She suddenly asked. She knew that there was something in me. I sighed and deny it but she's persistent so I said it. She even want to lend me but I refused. Maybe I just went later to my Aunt's, I'm sure that she immediately lend me because she care for me.

After I went to my Aunt's, she gave me enough money for my exam so my mood suddenly lit up. The moment I opened my apartment's door, I immediately read my notes to review.

A moment after, a knocked of my door made stood up. As I opened the door, someone suddenly pulled to gave me a kiss, when I realized that this is the love of my life, I immediately kissed her back and ended up making love...damn, I'm so inlove with her.

I got shocked the moment I step on the university, specifically on their office saying that my scholarship got back and I will be able to take the special exam today. And Jex texted me that our band seems okay again. Sari's was still not here, maybe she still sore? I smirked. Damn!

But that day, turned into weeks, months and years... there's no Sari appearing on our university. I asked Kate so many time but like me she's clueless too. In that years, my bandmates witnessed on how wrecked I am. They witness my downfall. After drinking at the certain bar, I met a girl who's name Erika. She's nice and we suddenly get along. She also made me feel my worth every other day that we're together. She's a lesbian woman who's very committed to God. She made me feel lived again by sharing the words of Lord.

After five years, I received a call saying that I have an appointment to a certain Sarielle Forbes. The anger and the pain were slowly covering my heart. The moment she enter my office door. I was stunned. She looks like an angel. Her red hair were gone, same with her dark make up. My anger and pain suddenly vanished by just seeing her. I will admit to myself that I miss her, so much. I wanna asked her but where did I will start? The moment she said that she wants to talk to me, I refused. Because I'm afraid that after that talk she would leave again so I need to make her stay...damn. Two months of seeing her backing and forth to my office, I realized that she's changed, I realized that she's not the same Sari anymore, she's too vulnerable and broken right now. Her smiles didn't even reach her eyes unlike before, I wonder what will happened to her while she was in abroad?

I lied. I'm not engaged to anyone, I just spread that humor for Sari. I want her to healed first, to regain herself again without thinking about me. Because honestly, after that talk, I was ready to accept her again, but then I realized that it's me who will make her healed. If I accepted her that time, she will feel that, I only did that out of pity. And in her case, I was so sure that the one she could help to overcome it was indeed herself. She need to overcome her own monster. She needs a new start, to refresh.

Now I realized what her Dad's talking about, she's indeed a selfless soul. While making up with me, she didn't realized that she's slowly loosing herself in process. And I want her to learned that she should love herself more than anyone, more than me. I smiled as I saw her in her corporate attire smiling widely with her colleagues, damn! I'm so proud of her. That's my baby everyone! It's been three years since that talk and I'm happy that she's fully healed right now. And this time, I'm sure that I already deserving for her.

I purposely bumped to her while she was walking on their building hallway. "I'm sorry" I said. She looked at me and her eyes got widened when she realized that it's me. Oh baby, how I missed that reaction of yours.

"Ah h-how are y-you?" She stutter. I smirked at her and chuckled. I've been eyeing her for three years and I know that she's very much single right now. "Well I'm here, finally reaching my dreams" I said and smiled. Confusion written on his face, I grabbed her hand and pulled her on her office and locked the door.

"What are you doing?! You're a married man and yet you have the guts to pull someone hands that doesn't your wife?!" She exclaimed while giving me her famous glared, damn I missed it too!

I cornered her on the walls "I lied baby, if you can let go of me to reach my dreams before, I can too...to healed and find yourself again. I still love--no I never unloved you baby" I whispered, suddenly I heard her silent sobs.

"Fuck you!" She shouted while on tears. I laughed "Harder, baby" I said before she finally hugged me. "Thank you for coming back...I love you, too." She whispered on my chest. I held her chin to kissed her...damn her lips was so sweet.

"Looks like we're stranded again baby, but this time I'll make sure that there's no escape anymore" I said before fully kissed her lips.