It was already 7:00am when I woke up. Mum was soon going to call me downstairs for breakfast; I got up and tidied up my bed and put in place whatever was scattered and out of place. Not that I am shabby but it’s great and feel wonderful to have your place arranged and looking good; it speaks good of you too.

I walked to the bathroom, brushed my teeth and took a warm bath and was already walking down the stairs when I saw mum coming out of the kitchen with a cup of smoking hot tea and alongside toasts; I couldn’t wait, I hurried down the stairs down to the dining table and pulled out a seat for me, sat down and waited for to arrive with more of whatever she was coming with and had already brought to the table but she came back from the kitchen empty handed.

“Morning !” I greeted with a smile on my face. “No bacon or Brownies or sausage?”

“Look beyond what you see Liam!” She answered me.

I Looked in front of me and somehow my nostrils came alive and jumped into hyper function sniffing out the warm fried and well seasoned sausage aroma express and all over the air. It was like I was in a garden of sausage flowers.

“Thanks mum” I said wolfing down the sausage, gulping down the supposedly hot tea and chomping the toasts.

“Calm down Liam! And where is my breakfast?” She asked

I wolfed down everything including mum’s “Omg! Sorry mum! I’m sorry but I have to go now. Amy is waiting for me at the junction” I said mouthful and pouring what was left of the tea in my mouth. I picked up my bag still chewing and hurriedly made for the door.

We agreed that I will meet Amy the Junction by 8:00am and walk back to see school. It was 8:10am already and I was already late.

I sprinted down the road to the junction with my shirt flying off and revealing a little of my belly; I didn’t realize until Amy told me I had nice pectorals; I blushed a little.

We started for school and walked past my house to the school which was about four to five blocks away from my house. We walked slowly and talked about each other’s nights. She asked me first and I told her it wasn’t so interesting; I didn’t want to bore her with my nightmare so most of the talks were about hers and her. I just listened and laughed where I felt the urge to laugh.

I didn’t tell anyone about my nightmares; I didn’t want to bother anyone with my problems; I did that for a long time and it wasn’t fair to them. I didn’t know what to make of those dreams or what to deduce as meaning for the dreams so I kept them to myself but they soon became a pile of discomfort and too burdensome in my mind. It became too much for me. I had a best friend already, someone I could talk to and share secrets with. I began to consider telling her about it.

Amy was smart and even before I finish deciding she got the dreams out of me. She noticed the worry on my face and the deterioration in my cheer.

“You know you can talk to me right?” She asked with concern on her face. “What is bothering you? You can’t tell me it is nothing!” She added.

“Oh God! You are just too smart for a lady!” I said putting my hand over my face. “I wanted to tell you but I didn’t want to bother you with my silly dreams”

“You’ve been having dreams? She asked moving closer to me on the bed. “What kind of dreams?”

“I have been having nightmares” I reluctantly said. “Really bad nightmares!”

“Since when?” She asked.

“Since forever” I exaggerated; they really feel like forever and they are very frequent these days

“What do you mean?” She leaned forward and had a confused look on her face. “Had it been since…?” She paused and I interrupted.

“Yes” I said to rescue her. She didn’t like to remind me or even remember herself what happened to May. “And it has been about May all the time”

“For this long and you said nothing about it!” She said. “You are very stubborn!” She teased.

“I just didn’t want to disturb anyone with my problems about May anymore. I hate to see everyone so sad all because of me” I bowed my head trying to avoid eye contact.

“We care about you so don’t keep things from us and think you bother or us. That is what we are here for. I care about you in many ways that you might not know about. She said turning her face away from me. “We love you okay! I love you”

“I know that but…” she interrupted. “But nothing Liam I hate that you keep things that bother to yourself and let it eat out of your happiness and comfort and concentration well deserved by your loved ones. I want to make you happy but you have to want to be happy too and that means telling things. I worry about you”

I was confused she was crying already and I didn’t know what I did or said so wrong and enough to hurt her this much. I just realized that keeping things from your loved ones actually hurts more than telling it to them. I guess being worried is better than being hurt.

“I’m sorry Amy. I promise to tell you everything you want from now on. I will tell you first whatever is bothering me no matter what it is” I said moving closer to her. I pulled her into a hug. Amy deserves more trust that I allot to her and I have not been fair to her and mum. Maybe when trying to protect people you actually hurt them by trying to shield from hurt and all your effort that seemed like looking after and protecting then turns out as selfishness.

“I have loved you for a long time now. Longer than you might even know” She said sobbing into my arms. I could feel the warmth of her tears soaking my shirt.

“I know Amy; I’m sorry I noticed later than early. I wish I did earlier than recently. I said pulling her out of the hug and looking into her teary eyes.

“You don’t understand Liam! I am in love with you! I want to be more than friends with you. I have been keeping this inside me. I can’t any longer. I am in love with you Liam!” She pulled out of the hug and turned to the window. “I can’t hide it anymore; it had been eating me up! I always wanted to see you talk and laugh as you crack jokes in the cafeteria. I always bumped into you just to smell you. Every weird thing I did was aimed at getting me close to you so I could get a piece of you! I’m tired of all that! I want to you!”

I had no idea that Amy has been in love with me. How couldn’t I have noticed? She was always there for me through hard lonely time being the company and the grease I needed to ease the stress difficulty of moving forward from the past. “I am where I am now because of you, Amy!” I muttered to myself.

I walked to her and put my right hand on her left shoulder. She turned around and looked straight in my eyes. The tear drops lingering in her eye waiting to be pushed out by more made her eyes glow from the sun rays escaping into my room through the tiny pores of my curtain. Her hair flew to the side of her face as warm air blew into my room. Amy is really beautiful and curvy and well composed and caring and loving and everything you need from a lady. I finally understood why she was acting weird around me all those times and I felt so guilty about being ignorant and just taking her for an unstable immature Amy.

“I’m sorry Amy” I said. “I didn’t know”

I kissed her very deeply like my heart depended on it. We stayed like that lips intertwined, heart beat synced and temperatures rising. I didn’t know why I was kissing her at that moment but it felt like the right thing to do so I did it and it was amazing.

I might finally be letting go of May. Above anything else the dreams are helping do just that; moving on not necessarily meaning forgetting everything but leaning on it to make a better life out of. I wasn’t sure yet but Amy seemed like the right place to turn to or the right tree to perch on.

“Why did you do that? Are you…..not that…I….don’t…” She stammered out of surprised and moved away from me to side of the wall were I stacked my guitars. I myself was surprised at what I just did.

“Because I wanted to and I needed to. It feels like the right thing to do” I said rubbing my hands on my face. I was tensed, nervous and my heart was pounding very fast and I was already sweating.

She turned to me. “You really wanted to and needed to and thought it the right thing to do?” She asked raising her eye brows to help her emphasis and press more on the necessity for honesty and sincerity. Her voice was lighter as that of a baby asking mama for ice-cream. “Really?”

“Yes and I want to do it again” I said having no idea how that came out and from where it came from. I was glad it did come out though, sort of. “I really wanted it and needed it and thought it the right thing to do! It just came to me naturally!”

She blushed, covered her face, giggled and turned away from me. “I never thought you would ever do that to me or with me. I just thought I wasn’t your type so I couldn’t beyond imagine that and as far as this. I just didn’t see this” She said wiggling her whole body left-right-left-right.

“I thought you weren’t too sometime ago until we became closer and I found out how wonderful of a person you are and how blind I have been to seeing the wonder, beauty in the big heart you have” I said moving closer to her but she moved backwards and smiled; she grinned. “Why are you moving away? Did I say something wrong?”

“No you said everything right. I’m just getting the hang of this: Liam Craig is coming after me!” She giggled more and moved backwards until her back was touching the wall.

“Now there is nowhere to run to” I spread my hands and ducked as if trying to cover and block out the rest of the space behind me which is physically impossible. “You are stuck”

“Not really” She said trying to find a way to run from me as I moved closer to her against the wall.

She dodged my hands and jumped on the bed; I followed fast enough to catch her before she escapes or run somewhere else. I held her on the bed and we laughed and then smiled and then paused and then the smiles disappeared and then everywhere was quiet and we stared at each other long enough for me to notice she has golden brown eyes that sparkled every time she blinked at me. She smiled at me and I could see her sleek perfect white teeth. She exhaled and her fresh breath hit my face; I blinked and my eyes caught the hair over her face and I slipped my hands through it and shoved it away from her face. She has a perfectly tanned, smooth skin. I ran my hand down the side of her cheek and down to her neck. Her skin felt too tender and wonderful under my hand. This wasn’t a moment I could waste or let pass me by; I had to take control and finally breathe to live after a long while. I pulled her and kissed her as I slowly turned her over. I felt no resistance so I continued; I was completely over her. Still kissing her I placed her hand underneath me and on her belly; I found her belly button and gently rubbed it; it made her moan and it turned on a switch in my head. I gently pulled away from kissing her leaving little or no space between my face and hers. I looked in her eyes; they were calling me and urging me to continue so I leaned my head down into the curve of her neck and shoulders and gently nibbled on her neck afterward a moaned followed and turned another switch on. I placed my tongue as far to the back of her neck as I could and ran it slowly down to her cleavage. She didn’t resist. I pulled my head away from her b***s and felt her hand on the back of my head pressing me down on her chest and back to where I came from.

“Don’t stop please; I want this badly. I have been craving you in secret since forever so I am not letting this pass me by” She said with a heavier voice than I have ever heard her speak in struggling through the loss of air and the heavy beating of her heart against her chest. “Don’t hesitate”

I couldn’t say a word so I just acted upon every single thought in my head; probably the same ones in your head now; feel free to be inspired ****

We intertwined and interwoven, interlocked and convoluted ourselves in each other, applied the laws of thermodynamics and the intensity of arts, we were on top of the world.

That night Amy spent the night in my place and there was a season two of what happened while the sun was at its peak. The moon had to get its own treat or there would be a rift in the balance in communion between two.

There are moments when you forget everything that has ever bothered you, when you take a walk from your home and stray into a castle and be crowned king, you jump and find yourself in the sky, when your eyes open the passion and outburst of emotion around you, when you finally feel free from the heavy chains of the past and finally get up from the dirt you have been lying in to the sweet and beauty of the heavens. Everything changes, everything feels right and everything falls in place right where they should be.

I slept with a smile that soon became a frown on my face. I had another dream worst than all that came before it. It was a dream in a dream; like two dreams in one night at a time both terrifying.

In the first dream that was the birth of the one that came before it; to me it was the first as I first saw myself but by hierarchy it should be the second from the first.

Amy was on the bed the bed with me; we spent the night together. I stood up and went to my fridge to get a cup up cold water; this wasn’t something I usually do but I just felt the urge to drink water and needed it badly that I had to wake up and get.

I turned back to go to my bed after sipping the water in the cup; the cup was still in my hand when I turned and found that I had woken Amy up from sleep. I looked up the wall clock and then back at Amy. It was some minutes past 1:00am and I woke her up with my stupid urge for water in the middle of the night.

“I’m sorry I woke you up Amy! I didn’t mean to, I just wanted water so I stood up to get it” I said walking to the bed. “I am very sorry”

“No! You did not wake me up. I also wanted water too. Like very badly. I felt the urge from my sleep and woke up to see that it was real.

“Okay I guess we drained ourselves of body fluid and it is demanding to be refilled only that it chose the wrong time for it” I said and sipped the water again and handed it over to Amy. “You should have some too before nature does something bad to us for crossing the limits it set for us”

“Yes I should and maybe it didn’t choose the wrong time. It’s morning that has a night cover on it. I’m awake and you are awake so we could do something with this alarm set by Mother Nature for another episode of….” She paused and giggled trying to hide a blush and then raised her head up to look at me slipping her finger in her hair packing it behind her ear. “Maybe?” She asked.

“Maybe what?” I asked as if I didn’t know what she was referring to.

“Common stop acting innocent!” She said slightly shoving my hand off the bed but then I grabbed hers and held it tight but gentle.

“I don’t know what you are talking about! You wouldn’t say” I said pressing my lips together like a baby begging for chocolate. “What do you mean?”

“Okay, you just want me to say it so I will” She withdraw her hand from mine and dropped it on her knees; other at the back of her neck. She moved close enough that I could feel her breath against my face. “I mean this” She said moving in to kiss me. I replied and pulled out of the kiss and took over. I guess I like to be in charge.

“I Know this is what you meant” I said pulling out of the ring of kisses.

“Why did you make me say it then?” She asked pulling away a little to get a better look into my eye for an answer.

“I’m getting the hang of this; Amy Hottie is asking me for s*x” I retaliated for the previous afternoon; although I did not plan it, it just happened.

“Silly! That is not fair! You are getting back at me which feels good although stereotypically you shouldn’t. You don’t just forget things a lady wants a guy to remember like other scumbags do” She said covering a wide smile with her hands and hiding the urge for a giggle.

She moved in to kiss me again when a hand from nowhere pulled her heart out of her chest from behind and disappeared into the wall. She laid there lifeless; blood was all over my body from her. Amy was dead and I had no idea how or what to do or say if anyone finds out. I couldn’t bear it anymore so closed my eyes and woke up into another dream and this time it was May who was lying down beside me in her matching underwear; wonderful bright choice of color, yellow.

I remember the day when almost if not everyone in the school made me sing on the stage I the theatre; it was overwhelming.

May had never heard me sang or play my guitar. I sang I song I wrote on the night I saw her. Before then I had never picked up my guitar since my dad left.