We always had fun with even when we were apart from each other; I remember the first days I spent away from May. She had to go and bring her grandma from the airport two towns away. I don’t go out much and I literally haven’t left town before so I can’t recall the town the mentioned she was going to get grandma from. It wasn’t easy at all; I was so used to May and now I can’t just go to her house or she come to mine whenever I wanted to see her. She was far away from me and it eats me up; but May is just too super human and extraordinary. We skyped and texted and called a lot and it was all a lot easier and I got opened to more of her humanitarian side.

She was away for a couple of days but everyday got easier as we talked more and she talked and told me about the place and its people and grandma and the surprise she was bringing for me. It was all cool. She bought me a song book since she saw I had a guitar.

“Take” She said. “If you ever consider taking music to the a better level this would come in handy”

I never really had or seen a song diary or ever considered one before; I literally just wrote songs on sheets of paper and sing them and it sticks to my head; some of the songs however fade away from my head after a while especially after I decided I won’t play the guitar or sing again since the person who gave the guitar to me and taught me everything I know about music was no more; My dad taught me everything I know about music; he was a musician or so. Ever since he left I did not touch my guitar or sang until the night I met May.

After the reminisce I went for the rest of school activities and we were done for that day’s session; I waited for Little Amy at the usual spot beneath the huge man with a staff wizard looking statue in front of the school.

Before Little Amy came Scott alongside John and Dave came up to me. I pulled out my hand for a handshake but got turned down by Scott who seemed to be the one upfront so I knew the rest would turn me down too.

“Wow! Baby Scott has grown up to be the wimp he was always meant to be thinking he has grown wings not realizing Dave has glued John’s napkins on his back. Hmmm! So you could only amount to the mashed-car-tyres after my little break? I groomed you better than this” I said with a disappointing look at them from head to toe. “You think you are men now?”

“No!” Scott said. “Just checking to see if our man is still in there, he sure is! Check! Mate!”

“Yeah” Dave and John muttered behind Scott

“Really? I am still the man wherever I go to” I pointed out challengingly looking at each of them in the eye.

“We thought you lost it” Dave said. “Just making sure the king’s still on the throne”

I could see Little Amy walk out of the school gate by now so I bade them farewell and caught up with Little Amy. How could they think I lost my kvetch, my bad mouth or the bitch in me? Not that it’s something to be proud of but hey it’s in you and never leaves. My body just makes my words inevitably unchallengeable. I work out but the past months I lost regularity; so I look kind of average or I’m an average or intermediate body builder or so but I like the way I am.

Little Amy looked at me and smiled. “How are you doing? I see you’re catching up already” Little Amy pointed.

“Really! Did my mum also employ you to stalk and babysit me too?” I asked sarcastically. “At least let me know I have a nanny to clean me up when puke”

“Common don’t be a puke, you know I care about your progress; I’m looking after a big brother and just being a nice friend not a nanny” Little Amy growled on the word nanny at me.

“Calm down tiger. I’m just teasing and I could really use a nanny. Not that I want to or I feel like puking put but it is nice and comforting to know that I have someone to take care of me as the baby I have become. Everything feels like it is the first time since……” I trailed off remembering May’s demise. It has not been easy without May; I’m just trying to be a man or trying fit into the stereotype of a guy or boy child.

“I’m sorry to remind you; I didn’t meant to” Little Amy patted my back and rubbed it gently like you would a crying baby trying to give them comfort. Like I said I really do feel like a baby.

“It’s Okay Little Amy, I understand you that you care and it is your fault; this was bound to happen. See why I need a baby sitter; seems I already have one, the right gentle and caring one.

“You always have to spoil it don’t you?” The pat and gentle rub turned into a slap on the back although she watched the force not wanting to piss me off.

“If you ask around that’s my specialty; I am so good at it if not the best at it even” I slightly proudly raised my shoulders and deepened my voice a little.

“Nice doing business with; I hope to be hired again in future times. We ought to build a wonderful business relationship these days”

“Wow! You are unbelievable! How do people put up with you?” She asked amazed.

“They don’t. The only one apart from family that has no choice and are used to me already was May and guess what I killed her” I joked very expensively. “It’s just in me Little Amy; It’s a talent! Haven’t you noticed? I’m still developing it as required of me by society”

By now Little Amy had her hand over her wide opened mouth in utter surprise surely because I joked about May’s death.

“Don’t keep looking at me like that. You said you cared about my progress and this should signify progress right?” I asked looking at Little Amy without any trace of trifling. “And don’t spoil the banter that is my job unless you want to compete; trust me you will lose I’m the best in business I gotta warn ya!”

Little Amy just fell into my arms in what seems to be the warmest hug I’ve had in a long time now from another person aside ’s regular bug hugs

“Thank you Liam!” She muttered. Her voice was shaky.

“For what” I asked confused. She was still hugging me.

“For being better” She replied. “You haven’t made anyone laugh in months and now you’re joking and bantering and jesting and teasing. We all have missed you so much. I have missed you so much. I was scared your humor died too” She leaned more into my arms and sobbed a little.

I had no idea that by staying hurt and bald emotion with everyone around me, I was putting everyone in my trauma. Maybe it’s time I finally let go and live for the people who want me live and learn to use my heart again maybe a little more than I did recently and throughout my life.

“I’m sorry for punishing all of you by punishing me” I apologized. “Thank for being there for me every morning of everyday. You truly are the best of friends”

Little Amy sobbed more and managed to pull out of the hug. “Thank you too Liam”

“Little Amy!” I called her name as though she was at a distance. “Would you be my best friend?”I asked really felling I needed a best friend and she was the right one.

Little Amy was the only other female and friend that stayed with me apart from my neighbors and family. She took it upon herself and always checked on me even when I pushed her away and wanted to be alone in my misery and regret and pain which in so doing I pushed everyone who really cared and mattered to me away from me. Although I made it hard for her she still didn’t give upon me.

So I thought it right to do this now and she deserves better than I have ever given her.

“Please! Don’t turn me down” I begged.

I was already teary. I needed this, I needed friendship and I needed to live again.

“I am sorry for pushing you away” I apologized. “I know I don’t deserve you but I promise to make it up to you if you give me this chance that I so need right now”

“Liam! I will be your BFF” Little Amy accepted and hugged me again. “I love you Liam and promise to support and become the best friend I can be for you”

“Thanks Amy” I pulled her out the hug and hugged again. “So you finally agree to be my baby sitter”

“You spoiler” She pulled out of the hug and punched me on my right arm; weakly though. “Yes I agree, Baby! Just don’t puke much; max twice a day”

“Okay, that is fair; I could work with that. Just so you know you can’t really control your puke rate; it just comes and it nature. Nothing can stop nature or control it” I looked at her with this serious look I wore to make it seem like I was going puke more than twice some days and she should be okay with because I don’t have absolute control over puke. “Just understand please”

“How can you be this serious about puke, Liam?” She looked at me perplexed. “Are you a puke tank? Cause the last time I checked the average for baby puking is three to four times a day after over feeding and you haven’t even eaten”

“I was just teasing I didn’t mean to say I was going to puke regularly or a lot of times; it’s just that sometimes you can’t control it. Talking about eating I am starving; let’s hurry home please”

“Me too! Agreed! Let us hurry home. Wonder what your mum would be cooking at home” She looked at me expectantly. “Guess!”

“Well I have to warn you that I am not a wizard so I am prone to make mistakes and like they say to err is human so bear with me my incoming inaccuracy” I said saving myself from any future laughs and tease that are warming up inside Amy now ‘cause I can already imagine how annoying it will be and how much she would enjoy me being defenseless. “Maybe fried Sausage, egg and brownies too. Warning just guessing and that means no teasing just in case I am wrong. I already feel wrong”

“Okay I promise not” She teased.

“I am doomed already; I surrender”

I think it’s time I stopped calling her little. She actually isn’t little; as a matter of fact she has added everything she already had if you know what I mean; hips, blah blah… and her composure too. She is more sophisticated and more experienced. I know about six to seven months is not that so much of a time to develop that fast or I might be exaggerating!

We continued for my house and talked and laughed about how I came down the stairs sometimes she came to see me; the pale faces I had like a hungry Simpson.

We reached the door to my house and I let out a loud laugh because of something she heard a new student say to principal Gloom as we call him because any where he passes in the school someone gets very sad and gloomy; he is such a kill joy. I opened the door and saw my mum setting the table for lunch already; what a savior.

“Good afternoon Mrs. Craig” Amy greeted with her normal wonderful heartwarming smiles she always had every time I came down the stairs to meet her.

“Good afternoon, you are welcome Amy, how was school” She asked Amy with this extra ounce of smile in her face than normal ascribed to Amy. I knew something was up.

“School was better than ever today” Amy replied looking at me and back at again.

“Oh I see what is going on; this is a gang bang against me” I tried to save myself change the topic. “! What did you cook?”

“He is hungry too? What did you do to make him laugh that loud and this hungry?” Mum asked Amy. “What did you do?”

“That is a secret recipe and ritual, ma!” She replied and looked at me again this time winked at me and bit her lip in a way mum wouldn’t see.

“Do you realize I am here and HUNGRY!” I waved to no avail

“Whatever you did do it again and again. I missed this version of Liam. This is a miracle and a cause for celebration” mum was elated. I too have missed this part of her that smiles this wide. Her voice becomes a little thinner when she is deeply happy and excited.

“Yes mum I will” Amy was oscillating with her hand interlocked below her stomach and her right leg slightly raised and inclined leaning on the other.

“Really! I will have to eat one of you to show that I am hungry” I interrupted

“Okay tiger, dinner is set. I made your favorite” She said raising both her brows at me.

“Yesssssss” I looked at Amy who had no idea why I squealed out a yes

“Why are you staring at me like that?” She asked

“Come and find out for yourself” I beckoned at her as I walk towards the table and drew a chair for her to sit down.

Mum was watching us with an endless string of smiles; but I ignored her and continued with Amy.

“Guess what is in the plate” I asked Amy

“Oh I see where this is going”

“Yes” I opened the first dish and behold Sausage rolls and egg all fried. My favorite dish “See!”

“I’ll leave you two now. I am going to meet your Aunt at the glossary store down the alley” She opened the door and walked out shutting it behind her.

“Okay mum” I waved at her. “See you later”

“I guessed right” I said turning from the door to Amy.

“Yeah you did somehow” she looked at me and at the dish and back at me

“Now you know who you are dealing with”

“Kind of, I have to say this is impressive” She said face down as I pushed her plate to her.

“What’s up with you? Didn’t go as planned?” I asked

“Yeah” She looked up at me. Her cheeks were pink. She was blushing and biting her lip.

I stared at her wondering why she would blush. Maybe best friends blush at each other. I wouldn’t know; never had one so I assumed it was normal.

We ate and I asked her to follow me upstairs to my room to study. We had never gone to my room to study. Actually Amy had never entered my room. But she was my best friend now and going in my room is one of the privileges that accompany the status of best friendship. She hesitated but I assured her everything would be alright.

We read and had a great time talking about a lot of things that happened in school while I was absent. We said goodbyes at the end of everything and the speculated time mum gave. I walked her down to where she could get a cab to her house and watched her go in one and started for her house.

I turned and walked back home. Mum was already back we greeted and I went upstairs to relax and tidy things up in my room.

Later that night I dreamt again this time it was different and more intense and more realistic than it ever was for me.

Out in the dark all alone

No mum, no dad no one to help

An empty darks street and lights going out

What would you when you’re all alone