I have a crush on Joanna. Freaking Joanna Miller. The one person I never thought I'd crush on. I did not even like her for gods sake! Yet there is no denying I like her, I want her to be mine. I want to get to know her, spent time with her and most importantly kiss her again. Urgh why.

One kiss

One kiss was all it took (falling in love with her)

I saw her the next morning. Well, actually it was rather early afternoon but I had just gotten up. Hangover, a bad one. Not really surprising considering the amount of alcohol I had consumed the night before.

At 1:30 pm we started the house clean. My view of Joanna has changed, like completely. It's not that I did not recognize that she was gorgeous before, I just never cared for it. Now I questioned what it would feel like to kiss her (again). Or touch her.

She appeared to be a little hungover too. Small bags were visible underneath her eyes, that usual hyper and fun vibe was missing.

"You alright?" Nina asked, looking at me with a concerned expression on her face. "What?me uh yeah...I am great!" I stuttered which caused my friend to raise her eyebrows at me. I was obviously not okay, hopefully though she just blames my hungover state and doesn't catch onto the feelings I am experiencing. 

Why do I remember kissing Joanna so well? Don't you usually forget things you do drunk? But no, I had to be able to recall every single second of her lips touching mine. How gentle yet passionate the kiss was, how beautiful Joanna is. This all hasn't left my mind since.

About an hour later the house looked spotless, like no party ever happened. I thanked all our friends for the help. Throwing parties is so much more fun when there are people helping you clean up rather than just leave a mess behind. 

Jake on the other hand invited them to stay, suggested a lazy afternoon by the pool. I couldn't say I exactly fancied that, I did however agree to it. My head was aching a bit, I was tired and exhausted at the same time. However it was a sunny day and we had the house and pool to ourselves. 

All afternoon we sat by the pool, swam and ate leftover junk food from last night. Quite fun actually. I love those days by the pool, many times before have I spent hours on hours there with Nina and other friends. 

Less fun was my new and very strong attraction to Joanna. She was so hot! The slightest bit hungover, her hair messy in the slightest. I checked her out in what I thought was a very subtle way. She caught me looking at her, met my eyes and smirked at me. She must know she's hot! Her eye contact made me blush, I  looked away shyly. It's funny because usually I am not shy or the one to be intimated by others, not even good looking girls. Joanna was different though.

In a way I felt stupid for not liking her all this time. Sure, what she did a few years ago was not nice (the opposite actually) but it was so long ago, we were kids basically. She must have changed. And yeah a few things about her might be annoying (when you have a crush though what others might see as annoying you might perceive as hot!). Nevertheless she can be funny, she's somewhat smart and she has proven to be a helpful person. Plus Jake approves her, and typically his judgement is spot on. Still, I am looking at Nina and think about how hurt she was years ago. Is it okay now just because it was years ago? Am I supposed to still hate Joanna for what she did or was I ridicolous for blaming her for this all those years?

I went to the kitchen to get some more snacks. I know I shouldn't be eating this many sourpatch kids or skittles but can you blame me? When I had filled the two snacks in small bowls I heard footsteps behind me. I turned around only to be facing Joanna. My heart started beating fast. The kiss, the damn kiss on my mind.

"Skittles are the best" She said and popped one in her mouth. They are good, other candy is certainly better I thought, was too nervous to say anything though.

" I have been meaning to ask you something" She said. My eyes widend. What could that possibly be? She's...she's not going to ask me out, is she? No, stop being ridicolous, Alicia, there is no way. Maybe she wants to ask you to stay away from her. Yeah, that must be it. Or call me out on my stupid new crush...

"Why is it that you don't like me? Is it still because of what happened years ago with..." I interrupted her there. "Yes, kinda...I don't know. It's not like I hate you" "No?" She asked, almost smiling. "No" I confirmed, even though I did very much dislike her, until one kiss changed that, sort of. I couldn't hurt her feelings though. "I am just awkward around people I don't know too well" I replied. It's not the full truth but not 100% a lie either. Sometimes I do indeed get awkward around unfamiliar people.

"I guess I gotta break your shell then" She said and popped another skittle, a green one this time, in between her perfect round lips.

If only she knew which effect she had on me. (i don't want her to know though)

If only I could kiss her again.