CHAPTER 8

On the burial day the thought of the fact that the red soil had won again, was too much for me to bear. I stood there besides the casket with my unkempt hair, looking gloomy and disturbed, my almond-shaped red eyes, popping out as If I had not slept for days, my face looking wizened due to the sorrows of my heart, my gleaming, snow-white teeth now are nowhere to be seen, looking thin and frail, I surely knew without a shadow of a doubt that my life was now over, I stood looking at Adasa as she comfortably slept on her coffin not knowing the bitterness that she had left in my life, she had left a hole that could never be filled, it's as if she had left with some part of me, I stood there and spoke to her lifeless body with my raspy squeaky voice, no one could hear what I was saying, all they could hear were murmurs.

"Adasa, we belong together and you know that I cry, why do you play with my heart? why do you play with my mind? you said we will be forever, you said it in front of the aisle. Why would you love me and leave me alone forever and never say goodbye? Without kissing you at night, without holding you tight, the least I might try is just break down and cry, pain in my heart, oh I will rather die than knowing that you are no more." I looked at my daughter's face, she had been held by Adasa parents just right beside me, with her perfectly round face, projecting teeth, round sparkling eyes looking innocent, she really looked adorable, surely what had she done to deserve such a fate, growing without a mum, was it ever going to be easy? Lord give me the strength for this battle since it's never going to be easy.

As the pastor finished his sermon, we walked towards the graveyard, as I saw the casket being lowered down, six feet deep and summoned by the pastor" from dust you came, from dust you shall return", just when they were about to cover the top with soil, I jumped right inside wanting to be buried alive with my love was all I wanted but no one understood, in fact, they took me for a crazy fellow and locked me away as they buried my love. Surely, I don't know if I will ever forgive Adasa for abandoning us. In the first few months after the burial, I had spent most of my time drinking alcohol and sleeping on Adasa's graveyard like every day, from night until morning, I was wallowing in my own world, no one could understand me, dressed in rags, smelling funny, I had abandoned my daughter with her grandparents since day one of the burial. It's as if the more I saw her she reminded me of her mum.

My life had been all a lie after role so I continue my role of visiting my wife and sleeping on top of the grave. Until one day four sturdy muscular men, mistaken me for a madman, they thrashed me mercilessly and took me to the Asylum a hospital for the unsound-minded. I was enrolled as a new patient and served four years term just for my recovery, during this moment, life was tough. I was forced through a duty role and my parents and kid had only one chance to visit me each and every month. I had now come to believe that there was no God after role since however much I had prayed during Silvia's and Adasa's time nothing had happened except that their lives were taken away from them. Worse of all during my release to the Asylum, after the four years, whereby I had grown fond of my daughter after the occasional visits, I had created a bond with her, she was a really loveable child she always made me laugh when I was around her, now during my release my daughter had been hospitalized.

The doctors had come to inform me that she had a brain tumor which caused her headache every now and then, they were still looking for the appropriate way of handling her condition and the less they could do was to give her painkillers for her to sleep during their research of the tumor. Now this was enough, I said to myself as I walked to the church, it was a catholic church, I walked towards Jesus cross, looking at him, it was as if he was happy to see what was happening, I walked there and confronted him and told him enough is enough, am tired of God sake why should I be a victim of circumstances, I was tired of living this kind of life, why? Why? Why? Should I be the one crying always, what do you want from me, do you want my life, if it's my life take it after role you are the Messiah, you are the king of the world am only your subject or a vessel I can say, am nothing compared to you but why do you have to torment and torture me due to my weakness. Am tired it's now time for you to change my life and make it better, change it, ooh Lord let me have the reason to worship you, let me have a meaning to life, change it ooh Lord as I fell down on my knees and cried it all out. I felt a kind of relief after spitting it all out to him it was like in your face you Mighty everlasting Lord. This time around the Lord heed to my prayers, despite the fact that Satan had consumed my life, God, in his own miraculous ways had rescued me from the jaws of Satan.

An operation was conducted on Silvia and she regained her full health, I was so happy when she called out to me dad I made it, I survived this illness, I held her close by my heart never to let go, I asked for forgiveness from her since I had not been a good father to her, I asked for forgiveness from my family and relatives at large for all the sorrows I had put them through, I gave my life to the Lord turned to a new leaf, now a full-time dad committed to her daughter. Thanking God for the fact that he never gave up on me, giving out all praises to the Lord, Glory be to Yahweh prince of peace, Alpha and Omega for thy son was lost but now he has been found, thank you, father, for turning my life around. AMEN