CHAPTER 3

As I was between the valley shadow and death, I feared no evil, I feared no people. I never thought of the people I would hurt after my death, I never thought of what the world would have thought of me, I never thought of the charges I will face from the authorities, the only thought that I thought of was meeting my beloved Silvia. As my soul arose from the land of the living and emerged in the land of the dead.

I saw my beloved Silvia waiting for me in front of the gates of heaven, then an angel of the Lord appeared beside her and spoke: "my son, your time is yet to come, return to the land of the living, you still have a long way to go". I couldn't bear being separated from whom I have been longing for, just standing beyond my eyes, even death was doing as apart, what could I have done wrong for the world to be so mean to us.

As they say in the marriage oaths, I promise to love you in sickness and in health, for richer and for poor, for better and for worse until death do us apart. That statement my friend I couldn't bear, I had sacrificed so much yet it seems I had done so little, Silvia...my dear Silvia at least negotiate with the Lord for this one favor. As I stood there helplessly, waiting for my return in the land of the living, I heard Silvia's voice calling out Gift...Gift my love, you got to get up, you got to wake up and make a move, course the world will never see you until do.

They don't really care what you are going through, but you got to show them, baby, you got to show them the real you, you to show them what you got, don't let them say what you are not, course you are strong, you are wise, you are worth beyond the thousand reasons why course you can't be perfect baby, nobody is perfect darling, course there is nobody in this world like you. As she disappeared from my sight I was drifted across the tropical blue sky like a mountainous bonfire.

As I was opening my eyes a bright light was shining on my forehead, I couldn't open my eyes properly but what I could see was a bunch of drips which were connected to I, and Silvia's mother sitting beside me, I could hear from afar distance as she prayed for the lord to change and guide me through these difficult moments of my life. As she raised her head and saw me awake, she altered, "glory be to God". And called Gift...Gift my dear son-in-law, why are you ending your life for my daughter's sake, you are still young my son, you still have a family of your own to make. Please dear... just leave Silvia to rest in peace, you can't be moaning for the rest of your life.

We are here to care for you, your family and friends are waiting for you to get better, please son, if it's not for Silvia then do this for me. Then in came the doctor with a bunch of files, alongside was a nurse with a tray of drugs. Hello Mr. Gift, you are surely a lucky man, you were brought here in a critical state, that you are lucky to be alive. Hope this won't happen again, the authorities have already been informed of your mental state and it seems they have spared you for this time.

A few days from now am going to discharge you but I would advise you to go for counseling, so I am going to hook you up with a counselor and some pastors too, at least for you to see the meaning in life. The doctor went on blabbering as the nurse was busy doing some checking's here and there, and also offered me drugs. After the doctors left, in came my parent and friends, they chatted me up about stuff I didn't much care about at that solemn moment.

When the visiting hours were done I was all alone again in the private ward after being shifted from the intensive care unit since I was out of danger, I was left there wondering was I the Messiah since I had slept for three days, only to wake up on the third day, was this ever going to change, the loneliness and sorrow I had in my life. I longed for things to be the way they used to be, back then when I used to cajole my sweet caramel Queen Silvia. The love of my life, the girl of my dreams, my African queen.

A week later came the day of the discharge, the day I was to leave the sickbed and join the rest of the world. I knelt on my knees, besides my bed, and uttered a few words to the lord. Dear Lord, it's about time for you to give me a reason to live, I have suffered for long, just carrying the guilt that I could be the one to die on that fateful day.it has been enough burden for me to see the love of life dying on my laps, Ooh Lord let me be your vessel, let you anchor me to the right direction, spare me from your wrath, spare me from shame. Guide me Ooh Lord, show me the way to follow the course without you am nothing. You created her for me yet you had your reasons to take her away from me, in Jesus' name, I pray, believing and trust amen.

As I was about to exit the hospital, I recalled the words from the doctor," Mr. Gift before you ever think of giving up in this life, look at the hair around your anus, despite their environment, they still grow ". As I laughed and shut the door.