THREAD TWENTY-THREE: RESENTMENT

“HEY, Barbara! What’s wrong with you? You’re spacing out!” Letisha asked after they ate lunch at the canteen. They are now at their hangout place in BSU.

“I’ve been thinking about Clayton. Were we too harsh on him?” she asked, causing Esperanza and Leticia to exchange glances.
Leticia reacted.
“Clayton? You mean the out-of-trend guy?
“Seriously, Barb?
This is the first time you address someone you despise in their first name.
She shrugged.
“I don’t know! When I heard what he’s going through right now, I suddenly felt guilty for the things we say and do to him, especially that cheating incident in class with Mrs. Garzon.
“I knew it!
You are the one who put the test paper in my bag!
The three of them looked behind when they heard that voice from Clayton while he was holding a voice recorder tape.

The three looked at each other in shock.
“Oh my gosh, Barb! Do something!” Esperanza said as Clayton ran away.
“He must have recorded everything you said!
I don't want to be kicked out!” Letisha added.
Even she was nervous.
What they did will definitely put them into trouble, especially with her father.
“What exactly do you want me to do?!
Isn’t it really you and Jhonny’s idea?” 
Barbara only learned about their plan the day before their examination.
She’s absent for two days due to dysmenorrhoea. They told their plan to her when Jhonny placed the paper already in Clayton’s bag. 
“What should we do now?
” Esperanza asks in panic.
Even she was at a loss for words because she knew she was still involved.

Until the time came for what they feared, when the four of them were summoned to the Office of the President.
Clayton was also present, and they couldn’t believe he had evidence of all their wrongdoings against students’ rights at BSU, which is why none of the four attempted to speak.
“Bullying is a crime, and we will not tolerate it at this University!
” You should be aware of the consequences of your actions. I will talk to your parents about it, and I will suspend each of you for one month while you do community service.
“But, Sir—” Esperanza and Letecia were about to say something, but the President cut them off.

“Don’t make me repeat myself!
” You’ve done it to yourself! Do you realize you should be effectively expelled? However, someone advised me not to inform the board members because it would harm our school's reputation. But you already know what will happen if you do it again.
Mr.
Cristobal rose and turned to face the four of them. “I’d like you to apologize to Mr. Basilio now.
However, a minute had passed and no one had apologized.
While Clayton awaits their sincere apologies.
“I will not force you to apologize if you find it difficult.
I just hope this incident serves as a lesson to you, and I don’t want this to happen again because the moment you disobey the rules for the second time, you will find another school to attend,” the President said as he dismissed them to their classes.
“See?
I think we should stop bothering him,” Barbara suggested as the four of them returned to their room.
Letisha sighed and rolled her eyes.
"What exactly do you want us to do, Barb? Apologize to him? Never!
“He’s such an eyesore!
” Jhonny mumbled.
“Have you forgotten that we have a one-month suspension and one-month community service because of him?
” Esperanza added.
“That’s what I’m talking about!
We wouldn’t have been punished if you had apologized sooner,” she insisted.
Leticia crossed her arms.
“Wow! As if you were sorry earlier?
Silence engulfed her.

“See?
Your pride is also high!
“Hey!
Why are you fighting over him?” Johnny broke in.
“Why don’t you ask the person next to you?
” Esperanza said annoyed then left followed by Letisha.
She stopped.
She knew that Esperanza was referring to her.
Jhonny looked at him, waiting for an answer from him.

Johnny calmed her down.
“Don’t worry about them. They are only irritated because of the punishment.” 
Barbara shook her head.
“This is entirely my fault. We were caught because I chattered, not because you were caught on CCTV. I had no idea Clayton was following us earlier. Do you think this is my karma?
Jhonny wrapped his arms around her shoulder.
“Don’t stress yourself out for a person like him.” Then they went back to their classroom.
When they arrived at their classroom, Barbara sat down and even looked at her two friends, who were clearly annoyed with her.
She will not bother them for the time being.

THE NEXT day Barbara was immediately confronted by her father after Mr. Cristobal spoke to him.
“You bring me nothing but shame!
Why don’t you be like your brother, huh?” he said angrily when he arrived at their house.
She clenched her hands.
He compared her to his older brother again. She is fed up.
For her father, her brother is the best!
The perfect son. The righteous one.
“You are really no different from your mother!
” The general exclaimed which enraged Barbara.
“Say whatever you want, Dad!
But please, never compare me to that woman!” then she went to her room and locked herself the whole day.
She couldn’t believe her father, of all people, her father compared her to her mother.
 
Barbara had just awoken up to a series of knocks on her door.
She had no idea she had fallen asleep because of resentment.
“Barbara?
It’s me. Can we talk?” It was her older brother.
She opened the door, and she sighed.
When he walked in, he sat down next to her on the bed.
“Dad told me about what happened at school.
Are you all right?
She honestly shook her head and began to cry again.
“Why is Dad being so harsh on me? I don’t understand why he treated me like this. F-for him, you’re the best child. He was always comparing me to you. Is it because I’m a woman?
Rainer, her brother, hugged her.
“I know you knew that that’s not the reason why Dad treats you like that.
Her brother was right.
She is well aware of the reason why their father treats her so differently. 
She couldn’t stand the fact that she resembled her mother.

“However, keep in mind that I am always on your side.

Her older brother followed in the footsteps of their father.
After he graduated from college with a Business Administration degree, their father forced him to join the military because he said it would improve his life, even though he knew it was not what her brother truly desired. He simply obeyed his father out of fear of disappointing him.
Since her mother abandoned them, she has yearned for a father’s love.
That's why she always causes trouble at school because her father notices her that way.

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