I stood in front of the pool house door, but I couldn’t go in, walking inside was the last thing I wanted to do. I wanted to walk back to her and take her in my arms. I wanted to cross the so called lines I'd said were stopping us. I wanted to engulf her in my love and never let her go. But I had to let her go while her feelings for me we just curiosities, because none of that mattered now, I'd ruined it all with the boy I’d been in high school and the sad man I had become. She deserved more.

Instead of being a friend, I'd been a walking fucking cliché and had treated her like shit.

Well I was paying for it now. I couldn't be her friend, and I couldn't be more than that either.

I didn't deserve to have her as my anything.

“Xavier.” Scarlett spoke, her voice was hollow, guilt piped through me. I'd done that.

“Scarlett. Please. Leave me alone.” I warned through gritted teeth. I stayed facing the door, turning to look at her would be a bad idea. I wouldn't be able to control myself.

“I forgive you.” She replied.

I hung my head so low my neck began to ache and sucked in a breath. Those three words stabbed right down deep in my heart. I couldn't stop the smile that crept on my face. I didn’t deserve her forgiveness, but she was intent on giving it anyway.

“Fine.” I murmured as I turned around, struggling to keep my cool. Pure determination was the only thing stopping me from taking her in my arms again. “Friends.” Surprised I had said it.

“Really?” She whispered back, she sounded shocked.

My smile faded and I lifted my head back up. I should have been the one shocked that she had forgiven me.

Yet here she was, surprised I wanted to be her friend. She didn't even know the half of it.

I felt the dull pulsating begin to rouse between my legs the minute I looked at her. She wore the clothes I'd seen her in earlier that morning, but her clothes didn't matter anymore. My mind, depraved as it was, only saw her as she had stood before me less than 24 hours ago, Naked and tempting.

Being her friend was going to be hard, and I'd need more cold showers because of her now than I had ever needed in high school. But she wanted it, and she had forgiven me. I owed her.

“I only hope you don't regret it.” I replied finally, my eyes caught hers. She shifted slightly and smiled, then step forward and pressed her lips against my cheek. The innocent gesture affected me in a way that was a lot less innocent. The dull pulsating suddenly become incessant throbbing. I gripped my hand on the door handle to stop myself from doing something I'd hate myself for later.

She would always deserve more than me. Friends was all it could be for us.

“I won't.” She replied with a confident smile.

It was nice to see her so sure, even if she was banking on the wrong person to pull through for her.

“I'd better head back in.” I said reluctantly, every part of me wanted to stay with her, to talk more, discuss the weather if we had to. Anything to be near her and hear her voice.

“Yeah me too.”

I forced myself to turn the door handle. “Come over tomorrow.” Scarlett said before the door opened.

“Alright.” I nodded, knowing it was a mistake, but agreeing anyway.

“Okay, uh, bye.” She murmured as she began walking backwards down the path, away from me.

I walked back inside the pool house. Jay looked at me with narrowed eyes. Fuck. If he gave me shit back at the hotel I was going to tell him where to shove it.

“Everything okay man?” He asked.

Nick, Josh, DJ and the rest of the guys glanced up from the poker game that was still being played. I shrugged and smiled, even though it was fake.

“Yeah I just needed some air.”

“Feeling better?” He asked again tilting his head. He knew I’d been out there with Scarlett, and I knew he was fishing for information, but expecting me to come clean in front of her father was beyond a joke.

“Yeah.” I lied. I was feeling like crap, because even though I didn’t want too, I couldn’t help feeling I was going to hurt Scarlett all over again. Just like I had in high school.

I had seen her cry because of me once, and I couldn’t do it again. I couldn’t see the tears in her eyes and know I had caused them.

The last time I had seen her cry we were in 11th grade, I had recorded her dancing at a Christmas party on the sly, and I had loved it. She was so carefree and happy. I knew watching that video, and getting the joy I derived from it that my crush was love, and I knew I would probably love her forever. I had never meant to upload the dancing video. It was an accident, a mistake. I had decided to finally tell her how I felt about her and had made a video admitting my feelings but I uploaded the wrong one and by the time I realized, the damage was already done. My friends thought I was the coolest and I couldn’t take it back. I removed the video as soon as I realized, but it had already been ripped and uploaded over and over again.

I had wanted to tell her the truth, so I went to her room and when I got there she was crying, the tears came thick and fast. She had a bowl of Cheetos to her left and her laptop open on her right.

I had badgered her down so hard that when the sex tape came out, there was no resolve left in her. She gave up living any resemblance of a real life.

I was an asshole, and she deserved better me.