On the other hand its 3:00 am Asia

 Aliyah is sitting inside a company shuttle service. While on the ride she decided to read the messages on her cellphone that she missed to reply because she is busy at work yesterday. 

The shuttle service is heading to the company now.

For its two hours ride Aliyah have still time to reply all the messages she have on her phone.

Almost all the messages is came from her family, some of her friends and from Atif.

She was finished replying all the messages came from her family and friends when she decided to delete the message of Atif for she is not interested to send any message to him.

But when she long pressed the message of Atif to delete all the conversation, the messenger app hang and when it respond again Atif message chat head open INSTEAD of being  deleted.

Simultaneously the messenger apps receive a message so another chat head open.

Then there are three message chat head open.

The messages are came from Aliyah’s friends in her hometown.

 They just saying “Hello” that’s why Aliyah in returned just type “Hi, how are you?” and she is about to  send  it to one of her friend but she didn’t notice that instead of typing it to her friend message chat head, she accidentally press the message chat head of Atif AND  the message was about to send to Atif.

But just a matter of seconds Aliyah noticed it and tried to cancel it as fast as she could but it’s too late.

 The message sent to Atif.

 Aliyah tried to unsent the message but unfortunately the messenger app hang again and when it function she already got an answer from Atif.

“Hello, I’m fine. How about you? ” Atif replied.

“I’m fine. But honestly that message is not for you. I just wrong sent. I’m sorry if I disturbed you.” Aliyah replied.

Aliyah just replied because of guilt feeling.

Why she feel guilty? Because Atif made an effort to reply to her message thinking that the message is for himself without knowing that she is just wrong send. 

Another reason why she replied is she think that if she reply that way, Atif will stop replying and that’s what Aliyah wants.

Aliyah wants to stop sending message to Atif and she also wants Atif stop sending message to her.

But why? 

What is the reason behind?

Because Aliyah don’t want to have an emotional attachment to anyone else. 

She is an intimacy phobic person.

 Intimacy phobias are after one thing, and that is to avoid being hurt.

She don’t want to get hurt. 

Intimacy avoidance describes the degree to which an individual withdraws from close emotional contact.

Aliyah fear that she will get close to Atif if they continue sending message to each other. 

 They are starting sharing thoughts so Aliyah is afraid that it will lead into friendship.  

Aliyah’s thinking is advance even though it’s not happening or will not happen or maybe will happen.  

She’s thinking of this scenario, “What if they become friends and that friendship ends.

Why Aliyah have all these worries and fear?

As mention she has a psychological disorder or personality disorder.

BUT that thing is unknown to her.

Aliyah didn’t know that she had that condition.

She will not determine it unless it will diagnose.

Her emotion is splitting again.

Splitting is an unconscious attempt to safeguard ego and prevent anxiety. A defense mechanism commonly developed by people who have experience early life traumas, such as abandonment.

In essence, she is often terrified that others will leave her.

 She have an intense fear of abandonment.

 However, she can also shift suddenly to feeling smothered and fearful of intimacy, which leads her to withdraw from getting close to others.

 The result is a constant back-and-forth between demands for attention and sudden withdrawal or isolation.

Aliyah didn’t expect that she will get another reply from Atif.

“It’s okay! No worries? So what are you doing right now?” Atif said.

“I’m taking care of my kids”, Aliyah lie to Atif.

That is what she mentioned to Atif  right now because that’s the lie she told him from the start that she have a husband and kids even though she have none for she is single like Atif. 

But Aliyah decided to continue that lie and stand for it for she don’t want to give her true personal info to Atif. 

Because of that reply, Aliyah didn’t get any message from Atif until the company’s shuttle service arrived to the company.

 Atif didn’t reply for he felt a little bit embarrassed to himself for he is thinking all this time that Aliyah is also interested in chatting.

 He almost forgot what Aliyah said from the day they start sending message to each other.

He almost forgot that Aliyah said that she is married and have kids.

An hour had passed.

Atif is still hesitant if he will reply again to Aliyah or not.

But after an hour he pick up his cellphone and decided to reply, telling himself this reason: “Maybe it’s not wrong to continue chatting with her for us just basically chatting and nothing more.

Then he send this message to Aliyah before he go to bed. ”Sorry for I am not responding, I’m just a little bit busy.

He feel sleepy waiting for Aliyah’s reply but he got nothing.

10:00 am Monday, in Asia.

Atif didn’t receive a reply from Aliyah for she is very busy doing her job at her workplace.

In addition to that her superior is around so she cannot use cellphone for it is forbidden by the management to use phone if the employee are on their workplace. 

3:00 am Monday, in Bosnia and Herzegovina

For Atif is tired he fall asleep.

 It’s already daybreak when he fall asleep for he continue studying the business proposal while waiting for Aliyah’s reply.

Atif sleep sound.

But most often in the early morning hours Atif experience nightmares.

Like this time, in his nightmare he see these scenes:

In his nightmare, he is still a little boy.

And it was late on bitterly cold winter’s evening. He was wandering around in the cold streets of Zenica. He was barefoot. Earlier on he was wearing shoes, but they were too long for his little feet and he lost them while running fast on the icy streets chased by wild dogs.

He was now standing on the corner of a very busy street.

He was hungry and trembling with cold.

For he was hungry and felt so cold he tried to draw attention and beg.

"Alms! Alms, give me a piece of bread."

“Spare me your mercy!"


People were passing by but no one looked at him. No one stopped.

His little hands were almost dead with cold. He sat down, drawing his feet under his thin clothes, but he was colder than ever.

He starve to death. He can bear no more.


Atif cellphone vibrated, He received a message.

Atif wakes up from deep asleep for his cellphone is on his bed. It falls from his hand and dropped on his side when he fall asleep.

11:00 am Monday, in Asia

4:00 am Monday, in Bosnia and Herzegovina

11:00 am. Lunch Break

Time for a subsidized or a free meal at the canteen. This day, Aliyah had rice and fried chicken.

While Aliyah eating her lunch, she check the messages on her cellphone.

There is a message from Atif again.

  ”Sorry for I am not responding, I’m just a little bit busy.” Atif said.

“So what?” Aliyah type that message, she is about to send it to Atif but she change her mind so she delete it again. 

(“so what? “Used to mean "it's not important" and "I don't care")

Instead of that message Aliyah send this,” It’s ok. No worries.

That moment Atif wake from his nightmare because his phone vibrated when he received the message of Aliyah.

Even though his catching his breath because of what he seen in his nightmare, the smile cross his face when he read the message of Aliyah. 

Next chapter