I spent the entire night dreaming about what happened with me and Jay. I never thought I would find someone who would sweep me off my feet, and make me question everything I thought to be right in my life.

Meeting him inspired me to do something I hadn't done in three months; paint. When I took my gap-year and went to Paris. All I did was work on my art. I was so inspired by the colors, the people, and the language. When I got back home to New York, that's when all the inspiration I found expired.

I had all but given up on my dreams of becoming an artist. I knew my Mother would spring reality back on me sooner, or later. Something about him, brought me back to fantasy land though. In my head, I was a world renowned artist, displaying my new art in some foreign gallery, trying to aim for a museum. In my head; he was right beside me with that charming, but daring smile of his. Egging me on.

Before I knew it, I had finished painting half a painting: a woman with bright blue birds bursting from her back as she knelt in fear. I was pulled from my stupor by my cell phone ringing. It didn't take me long to start grinning, once I found out who it was.

The name 'Jay' flashed up on my screen, and I immediately answered.

"Hello?" I asked, trying to be coy.

"Hi beautiful," he said through the phone. His deep, raspiness making the darkest parts of my tingle.

"To what do I owe this pleasure?" I asked, trying not to grin like a dummy.

"I missed you, and I wanted to know when I could see you again." I could hear his smile through the phone, and his romanticism still shocks me.

"What a way to play hard to get," I joked, rolling my eyes as if he could see me.

"I'm a grown man, Charlotte," he laughed. "I know what I want. I don't need to play around."

For some reason, this made my heart skip about four beats. "Well..." I trailed off, unsure of what to make of his aggressiveness. "I don't know, Jay, I have to be honest. My parents watch my every move. They would kill me if I went out with you." I explained, hoping he wouldn't run for the hills.

"I see," was all he said. "Well why don't you sneak out and meet me?" I could sense the smile creeping back up on his face.

"I don't know..." I trailed off, looking over my shoulder as if someone was lurking nearby. "If I get caught... there's a lot at stake here."

"Do you really care about that?" He asked me in a teasing tone. "Ask yourself for me."

His words were haunting, but I sat and thought for a minute anyways. The pros and cons of doing this I added up in my head. There seemed to be a lot of cons, but the one pro I couldn't resist was Jay. He seemed to outweigh everything.

"Let's say for a minute I don't care," I started. "Then what?" I asked him, honestly curious as to where we would go from here.

"Then I want you," he said plainly. "I don't care about your parents. You're a grown woman. Can't you take care of yourself?" He asked, causing me to laugh.

"Money wise; no! Streets wise; yes." I smirked.

"Well, if you get kicked out, I'll take care of you. It's only fair." I imagined him shrugging his broad shoulders, and wondered about his offer momentarily.

Do I really want to go from being taken care of by one rich, controlling man to the other? "I don't know..." I trailed off, biting my lip. It's one thing for my parents to do it, but I barely know this man! What would that even be like?

"Don't worry," Jay laughed. "That's a what-if circumstance. But you miss me too don't you?" He asked in the softest voice. My body began to tremble under the weight of his question. I thought about how he touched me for the first time; kissed me for the first time, and how much I wanted it to happen again more than ever. No one. Not even my Mother could make me deny that.

"You know I miss you, Jay," I said in a hushed tone, like it was a secret.

"Then come see me," he urged. "Please."

Now he's begging, I thought to myself. What a sight.

"Okay," I answered, all too eagerly.

As soon as I hung up with him, I ran straight from my studio to my room. I tried to be quiet, my parents went to sleep already. One thing they did know about me, is that I could be working on a painting until dawn if I'm inspired. I'm sure they noticed me in there, and decided I would be a while.

I closed the door to my bedroom, and slipped into a sexy silk, ruched dress. The color was mauve, and I topped it off with dark purple lipstick. I knew I had to dress to impress, and I looked good if I'm allowed to say so myself.

I gave myself a once over in the mirror, liking how the dress draped in all the right places, and showed off my toned body. I couldn't help but think about him taking it off of me, and with that thought, I grabbed my car keys and all but ran out of the door.

I knocked on the door of Jay's place, silently hoping that my parents would think I was in my art studio all night.

After just three knocks, the door swung open, and there was a handsome, grinning Jay revealed. "You actually came!" He exclaimed, pulling me inside of his penthouse. "I was really hoping that you would." He planted a soft, kiss on my lips, clutching both my shoulders tight in his hands.

"I didn't know you'd be this happy," I said shyly. I knew I would impress him, I just wasn't used to a man being that happy just from my presence.

"Why wouldn't I be?" He asked, staring me in the eye. It always takes everything inside of me not to collapse just from that look.

"I don't think I can stay long," I whispered, like my parents could suddenly hear me from all the way across town.

"Then I won't keep you," he smiled understandingly. "Close your eyes, I have a surprise for you." I furrowed my brows in confusion, but decided I should comply. If he wanted to kill me by now, I'm sure he would have.

"Okay," I sighed, eager to see what the surprise was. I covered my eyes with my hands, then felt Jay press up against my back. He wrapped his arms around me from behind; one hand placed on my bareback, just where the dress stopped, and his other arm wrapped around my body.

I felt myself being guided to where I knew his bedroom was, and it took all of me not to burst in excitement. I never knew I could feel like this about someone; I never knew someone could feel like this about me.

"Okay," he sighed, placing a kiss on my cheek from behind, then moving my hands away from my face.

Once my eyes opened, I peered at the sight in front of me in shock. There were candles everywhere, surrounding his room, could have been hundreds of them. His bed was decorated with red roses, petals, and single stems of them. There were also rose petals on the floor, leading to the bed.

"What's all of this?" I asked in amazement, picking up a rose from the bed and smelling it.

"Well," he cleared his throat, gesturing for me to sit. "Since you were a virgin the first time we had sex and I didn't know, I wanted you to have a do over. I wanted it to be special for you," he explained, and I tried to stop myself from crying.

"Wow," was all I managed. "No ones ever done anything like this for me before." I told him, still gawking at everything. "You didn't have to do this," I said, shaking my head in disbelief.

"I wanted to," he smiled fondly at me.

I could do nothing to stop the single tear that rolled down my cheek, and he hurried and wiped it away with his thumb. "Thank you, Jay." I took the liberty of kissing him first this time, standing up to my feet so that I was hovering over him.

We played a game of cat and mouse with our mouths, only he didn't immediately rip my dress off like I imagined he would. He stopped me from kissing him, placing his hand on my chest. "Hold on, wait a minute." He laughed.

"What?" I asked him, afraid that I had done something wrong already.

"Let's just sit down and talk for a minute." He insisted, and I stopped myself from rolling my eyes. I sat down next to him, then ran my fingers through my hair.

"What do you want to talk about?" I asked him, sitting back down on the edge of the bed beside him.

"Why are you so scared of your parents?" He asked, and I shook my head, looking down on the floor.

"We can't talk about that." I said firmly, no questions asked.

"Fine." He said simply, knowing I meant business. "Why were you a virgin for so long?" He asked.

"I can't." I replied simply, shaking my head.

"Okay," he shrugged. He seemed unphased by me not answering questions, he never once took his eyes off me. "Talk to me," he said with a hint of desperation in his voice. "What can you tell me?" I felt myself tearing up as I searched the deepest corners of my mind.

What am I afraid of?

What do I want?

How do I feel inside?

I imagined 1000 me's searching through file cabinets on me. "Helloooo," the inner me shouted through a megaphone. "Earth to Charlotte, how the fuck do you feel?"

"I feel lonely sometimes," I admitted, resting my head on his shoulders.

"Me too," he smiled, wrapping his arm around me. "Me too."