Learning how to say goodbye to you

Now, here I stood, on the rooftop of my school at 11 pm, leaning over the edge. A light wind breeze blew past me, gently stroking a couple of hair strands that covered my ears behind them. I took a deep breath, staring at the rising moon. Soon it would fully cover the sky and shine over the city, engulfing it in its charm. 

Oh, how beautiful it had shown that night, but no matter how beautiful this sight was, it would never be able to outshine your eyes. No matter how beautiful the moon has shone, it would never compete with your eyes, nothing could compete with that beauty hidden deep within your eyes. Those beautiful eyes, nothing could ever come close to the way they used to shine. 

I just wish I could see you once more. I just wish I could look into your eyes one more time, see them outshine everything and everyone around them. Just one last time, one last time…

"I love you, Ciel. I love you with all my heart."

I took one step closer to the edge, smiling as I recalled your gorgeous bright smile. 
Silence, silence was all that could be heard. All the voices in my head started to quiet down, finally, it was silent. 

So, this is what peace feels like. It feels so nice.

A small tear then slowly ran down my cheek. It felt warm, the trace it had left, burned. My cheek was burning, it felt like it was on fire. A small chuckle escaped my mouth. You'd laugh at me for being this weak. If you could see me now, wouldn't you, Ciel? Your laugh, oh, how much I would give just to hear it one more time…how much joy it would give me to hear it one last time. Yeah, one last time would be enough… just one last time…

"We'll see each other again, even if it's just one last time. I promise…"

I said, looking up at the starry sky. It was tinged in purple and a deep marine blue. The sight was gorgeous.

I leaned forward, stepping off the edge, smiling. I closed my eyes as I saw the ground approaching…

"Another suicide, huh?"

I heard a deep voice say, its words echoed through the room.

"Where am I?"

"At the gate between heaven and hell, Micheal. You're dead."

The mysterious voice answered. I opened my eyes and saw bright auras and light. 

On the right, I saw a golden gate which looked like it was formed by a god, a warm hearted god. So, that is heaven…I bet Ciel is there…
On the left, I saw a broken black gate, behind that gate, all I could see were flames. Many painful screams could be heard from within that gate. The aura was cold and unwelcoming there.

As I stared at the two gates and listened to the sounds coming from them, I realized the situation I am in.

"I thought, once a person dies, they go straight to heaven or hell, is my assumption wrong?"

I asked towards the direction the voice came from, suddenly a big eye opened itself in front of me. Its pupil glowed red and blue, it was split right in half. Its glow was so bright that I had to squint a little. The auras I felt before were visible in the eye. 

Suddenly, I was surrounded by eyes and the room, everything around me tinged white and black, black where hell's gate has been and white where heaven's gate has stood. I stepped back a little in shock and terror. I didn't know what happened and thought about ways to escape or run away as the voice spoke up again:

"No, your assumption is correct, Michael."

"Why am I between the two gates then?"

I asked in return. A chuckle echoed through my ears, making cold sweat run down my back as I froze in place, the hoarse voice of that unknown creature then stroked my ears and echoed through them. It felt like the voice had invaded my brain.

"That is because you are special."

"Special?"

I blurted out by accident, the voice chuckled again. Every time I heard this chuckle, cold sweat started to form on my back, sending shivers down my spine. The voice then spoke up once again, answering my question:

"You're a 50/50 case, a case that only occurs once every 1 million years."

"50/50 case? What does that mean?"

I questioned, lowering my voice in this immense presence. I earned another chuckle before receiving an answer to my question:

"You are 50% evil and 50% good, your fate whether to enter hell or heaven hasn't been decided yet."

"What will happen to me now?"

I asked barely above a whisper, only now did I realise how much I was shaking and sweating in fear. This is true terror I felt, no matter how hard I tried to remove my eyes from that big glowing pupil, I couldn't. My wide open eyes were stuck, stuck in terror. I couldn't look away from that eye. My instincts told me to run but my body wouldn't budge at all. 

The eye then widened and flew closer to me, my knees felt like they'd soon give out to me, I instinctively covered my face in terror and turned away from the eye but my legs, they just wouldn't start running no matter what…

"You have to make one decision, your fate is up to you afterwards. Your options are simple. Either take my position as gatekeeper and never enter hell or heaven until you find another 50/50 case or relive your life and change the outcome of your rating. What will you choose, Michael?"

My breath hitched as my heart started to beat faster and heavier. The two options he gave me ran through my mind and I took a deep breath to calm my heartbeat down. How ironic, I died but my heart is still beating. Deep down, I knew I had already made up my mind, I wanted to see Ciel again, I want to see him, even if it's just one last time.

"I want to relive my life."

I want to see him again, no matter what. 

"So, it will be."

The voice said as I started to fall again, I closed my eyes as my surroundings started to blur. I then saw a bright light in front of my eyes as I was born anew.