Olivia

"Hi baby!" I heard a feminine voice say. I wiped my tears away, then decided to go on the balcony. I did not want to hear anything that was happening in that apartment.

I snuggled up in my sweater, surprised that this was the first time I was out here. The balcony wasn't huge, just something to stand on. It had a killer view of the city, and I couldn't help but think of home.

I missed my mother, my sister, my friends. I hadn't even told Amy what was happening or where I was and she was my best friend! Maybe I should invite her over tomorrow while Nolan is at work, maybe that will cheer me up.

Even though I don't know what I expected, it still hurt my feelings to know. Men don't wait on women to put out, after all I had a whole boyfriend who never even calls. I'm sure he's knee deep in someone else's vagina anyways.

I don't even know why I bother.

I haven't come across one guy who can wait just one year for me to know if I'm ready. Am I being too harsh with my sentence? Is it too much to ask to know if the person I'll lose my virginity to will actually stick around? I don't want to give myself to someone who will just leave and take that part of me with them... I want it to be with someone that I'm head over heels in love with. Someone that I simply can't imagine my life without.

Was that person Nolan? I don't know. I like him that's for certain, but I just can't know what his intentions are. I can tell by the looks of him that he isn't a one woman man, and I am much too smart to willingly jump into the fire with someone like him.

I came here to do a job; I didn't know that I would end up liking him so much. I didn't know that he would like me back. I just don't know what to think anymore! In hindsight, maybe it wasn't as simple as I thought it would be. How could I be so naive to think that I could marry this man and not develop any attachment to him.

I must've been out there thinking about how crazy all of this was for hours, I almost didn't even realize it. I finally made my way back inside and curled up in bed. I tried not to think of Nolan, or his hands, or his mouth.

~*~

The next morning I woke, I felt so refreshed for some reason. I just wanted to be with my friend, so I texted her immediately. I didn't explain anything over text messages, I just sent her the address and told her to come over.

"Holy shit!" Amy exclaimed, taking off her sunglasses. "This is where you live!" She scanned the spacious apartment, then threw herself back on the couch. "Talk about high rise living." I rolled my eyes, sitting at the bottom of her feet. "If your mom finds out you're here your so dead." She laughed, and I rolled my eyes at her once more.

"I do nothing all day," I said. "It's kind of amazing. And, he gave me one of his spending cards so I can always go shopping whenever I want." I didn't mean to sound like I was bragging, but that's just what it sounded like.

"You're literally the house wife of a rich man!" She said, sitting up on her elbows. "I am so jealous," Amy whined. "Why couldn't it be me delivering pizza that day?"

"Because my mom can't afford employees." I said simply, turning on the flat screen.

For some reason, I settled on 'Inuyasha', one of my ultimate favorite shows. I was always so in love with him as a child, I could watch it over and over. "I can't believe you didn't tell me about this," she said, shaking her head. "Does Chad know?" She asked, raising a questioning brow.

"I haven't seen or heard from him since the graduation party," I explained, rolling my eyes. "And I hope I don't hear from him. I'm tired of pretending with him." I shrugged, and she nodded.

"Yeah, pretending with a rich man instead of some lecherous teenager is definitely an upgrade." Amy said.

"Nolan is lecherous too," I frowned, folding my arms across my chest.

This made her scoff and laugh. "He's a grown, wealthy man." She laughed. "You would just be naive to think he'd never want sex."

"Is that all I have to offer men?" I asked her in all seriousness.

"No way!" She smiled, her ginger hair glowing in the sunlight. "That's just all they want." She laughed.

"How do I know if he really likes me or if he's just pretending?" I asked her.

"That's easy!" She beamed. "When you're in front of other people, it's pretending, but when you're alone you're both being yourselves." Amy shrugged. "You have genuine conversations don't you?" She asked, and I nodded in response. "Maybe even flirt?" She grinned.

"Maybe," I blushed.

"Exactly!" She beamed, happy to be right. "It's just a little harmless crush. It's just like being in love with a coworker, or an actor that you're in a movie with. Yeah, you're both playing parts, but when the curtains close it's just you two." I closed my eyes in relief from her words, she was so right! When Nolan and I are alone, we're not pretending. We don't have to pretend with each other because we know what we're doing.

"I'm sure it sucked seeing him with someone else, but I'm also sure that it probably didn't mean anything to him." She explained.

"She called him baby though," I pouted, remembering how much that hurt to hear.

"Then stand up!" She groaned. "You want that man? Show him and her that he's technically already yours. Even if it is just a few months."

"What do you mean?" I asked her, honestly curious.

"I mean be his wife dammit! Be his wife behind the scenes, and on the scenes. Show him that you really like him, and I promise you'll see results and get answers." She stood to her feet, and I watched as she rummaged through the kitchen. "And your first duty of wife is the pick this place up." She sighed, scrunching her face up in disgust. "It's like a sad model home in here." I blinked at her priorities, but I actually had to agree. This place did need a little sprucing up.

So for the next five or so hours that's what we did. We took Nolan's black card, and went shopping! We bought food, pillows, blankets, and pretty much whatever we couldn't bring to leave in the store. I even decided to redecorate the room I was staying in!

After we were done with the place, Amy headed home and I started on dinner. I couldn't believe how much better I felt after her visit, and maybe she was right! Maybe I can just pretend to be his wife but in my own way. It could be fun playing house as long as I'm here. The only thing I forgot to discuss is if I should let my body become involved in the deal...

As if cued by God, my cell phone began to ring, and I took a break from cooking to answer it. "Hey!" I smiled, happy to hear Nova's voice.

"Hey, Olivia!" She beamed through the phone. "I missed you. How is things going with my brother, he's not being too terrible is he?" She joked.

"No..." I trailed off. "I just wanted to know what you thought about him?" I asked her.

"What I think?" She asked.

"Yeah," I told her. "Do you think he likes me?" I asked her nervously.

"I think he's genuine in all his actions toward you," she said simply. "If he was really married, this is how he would treat his wife." She explained, and I nodded as if she could see me. "I know it may be confusing in light of the circumstances, but his actions towards you are genuine."

"But what if... what if he gets bored with me? What if I'm not good enough? What if I get hurt?" I asked her, desperately looking for answers.

She didn't answer right away. "Love is a risk regardless." She said after a while. "It doesn't matter who or why. If you fall for someone, there's always a chance it won't work. You just have to decide if the person is worth finding out."

I heard the key turning in the door distantly, and decided to hang up really fast. "Okay, thanks for the chat! Goodbye!" I said quickly, hanging up the phone.

Even though I was still mad at him, I decided to give the pretending behind the scenes act a try. "Hi, honey!" I said, greeting him at the door. My voice sounded a little more annoyed than I had attended, but I enjoyed the way he gawked at his place.

I took the briefcase out of his hands immediately, then darted into his bedroom. For some reason, I couldn't be in the same room as him! Every time I looked at him all I think about was that woman's hands all over his body. I didn't even want to think about it! I was so jealous I couldn't even see straight.

Even though we aren't together for real, I still can't help but hate the fact that she was all over my husband! I don't care if he is just a fake husband; he's MY fake husband. I frowned slightly, making my way back into the kitchen to check on dinner.

"What the hell is this?" Nolan asked annoyed as hell, and I smiled on, shrugging slightly. The fact that he was so annoyed was the only thing amusing enough to make me smile like I was happy.

"Well," I said playfully. "I thought as your wife I should have the right to do a little redecorating." I shrugged, slamming the butcher knife on the counter after cutting the bread. 

He slammed the refrigerator door shut, then turned around to glare at me. "You switched out my beer?" He asked, and I turned to stare at him innocently.

"You don't mind, do you?" I said softly, placing a hand on my hip, and swaying from side to side. I didn't want you to start picking up weight. Can't have a dad bod and you're not even a dad yet." I shrugged. "Now you should go shower, dinner will be ready soon." I smiled mischievously. "Baby." I threw in the last word before I could even catch myself.

He closed his eyes tight, then rubbed his temple slowly and threw his hands up in defeat. "I don't have time for this." He grumbled, stomping to his room.

I'm not going to lie, I didn't expect it to be that easy. I thought he was going to blow a gasket about his place, but to my surprise he didn't put up much of a fight. Maybe he felt guilty about last night after all.

I took this time alone to set the table, and place some spaghetti on both our plates with a side of garlic bread. I don't know if he's actually going to drink his new replacement beer, but me, I'm having a huge ass glass of wine.

After grabbing a glass and pouring some wine inside, I decided to go and see if he wanted the drink or not. I hope he says no all together, my dad used to drink those beers and I hate looking at them.

I walked into the bathroom not bothering to knock, but this proved to be a mistake. Nolan sat on the toilet, naked as the day he was born, and I walked in on him mid stroke. My mouth dropped, and all I could do was close the door and leave immediately.

"Oh my goodness," I sighed, running back into the kitchen.

Dinner was awkward to say the least. The only thing you heard was forks clicking against plates, and a small sip here and there between the two of us. I honestly didn't even know what to say, I seen him in his towel before but I definitely wasn't prepared to see that.

It's not that I haven't seen a penis before, my friends and I did a lot of things we shouldn't have in middle school. We watched porn just to see what it was like, and even signed up for sights where you would get the occasional unsolicited dick picture sent to you.

Have I ever touched one? To be honest, I almost did. It was one day Chad and I were alone, and since I didn't want to have sex he wanted me to at least feel him up. I put my hand down his pants, but when I felt the heat of his penis I freaked out.

"You want to go for a walk with me?" Nolan asked suddenly, and I nodded almost instantly.

I followed him outside, and down the steps of his place. It was nice and breezy out tonight. Even though we were walking, I still couldn't help but think what insatiable appetite he must have.

If he had sex last night, and he's masturbating already, maybe I won't even be able to keep up with him anyways. Let's just face it, I don't know why I ever thought I'd be able to compete with her. I laughed out loud by accident, causing Nolan to look over at me.

"What's so funny?" He asked, laughing at me.

"I was just thinking about insatiable you must be," I admitted, causing him to look at me.

"I'm sorry you had to see that, it's been a while." He said, and I laughed once more.

"Of course, spare me the gory details of your little hook up." I smiled, rolling my eyes slightly.

"I didn't." He said in all seriousness, and I stoped walking as soon as I realized what he had said.

"You didn't what?" I asked, raising a questioning brow.

"I didn't do anything with her. So it's been a while." He shrugged, and we found ourselves just staring at each other. Of course I didn't realize nothing happened because I had went outside. I started to walk once more, and he walked beside me. "I don't know how you do it." He sighed, and I laughed slightly.

"Years and years of practice," I explained to him, shaking my head at myself.

"You never?" He asked, and he didn't even have to finish the sentence for me to know what he was getting at.

"It's not that I don't feel it, it's not that I don't get... urges. I just don't like it, it makes me feel lonely." I told him honestly, and he blinked his response.

"And you never even wanted to?" He asked, and I shook my head.

"I don't think about sex, I think about love." I said firmly. "I'm not ashamed of what I want. I know love exists, and I want it." I said longingly, looking up at the starry sky.

"Have you ever gotten close?" Nolan asked, and I half smiled.

"No." I said, shaking my head. "What about you?" I asked, and he all but laughed at me.

"If you call being sixteen being in love, then I guess you could say I have come close." He laughed, and I shook my head profusely.

"There is no age limit on when to feel love." I laughed. "I want to know what it's like though; to give myself completely to someone else. I want to know what it feels like to know someone can't live without me." I said wistfully. He didn't say anything at first, so I took the time to admit something I had been longing to tell him all along. "I have to tell you something,
Noel, I-" he cut me off, placing his hand gently on my face.

"It's okay. I may be dumb, but I'm not stupid." He smirked, and I smiled softly at him. "Come on, let's go inside." He smiled, and I let him grab my hand.

We walked back to the apartment together hand in hand. I didn't know what the future held for Nolan and I, but I knew that I was going to enjoy what little time we did have together. If love is a risk, then I guess this is a risk I'll have to be willing to take.