Their Saving Grace

Drawing a shaky breath, I sniffed as the blood flowed from the fresh horizontal cut on my wrist. I counted to ten as the physical pain numbed everything in the world. Even if it was for ten seconds, I welcomed the numb, I craved it. It made everything seem less bland around here.

Counting down the seconds, I breathed out heavily I tried out different smiles while looking at the mirror in front of me. At last I found the perfect one, and discarded the blade, the blood on my wrist had began to clot, I just used my old hankerchief from my backpack, put it under the tap for a bit and cleaned around the wound, making the water pink. I dragged up the sleeves of my turtle neck, long sleeved top, made sure there was no sign of blood and the wound was hidden from plain sight.

With my backpack slung on my shoulder I walked out of the girl's washroom and into the throng of the student body.

Looks like I missed lunch again, I wondered what excuse I was going to give this time.

"Jordy! Jordy!" Heather's voice rang through the crowded hallway, I knew her voice was coming from the opposite direction I was headed so I stopped, took a deep breath, and plastered a huge smile on my face.

"Heather!" I said over enthusiastic about seeing the only person I could call a friend in this hell hole called a high school.

"Where have you been? the girls and I ate lunch alone, we waited though" she queried.

"I was talking to miss Hannah, she graded my assignments wrong, you know how talkative she can get" l lied.

She brightened up "I know what you mean, anyway you missed a lot, Mitch was telling us her new skin routine" Heather was really nice, but she liked to make friends with everyone, she was a social butterfly. Me on the other hand, I preferred my personal space not really the making friends type but I talked to everyone though.

"...she was talking about getting the new brand of facial scrubs for us, her friends" Heather babbled on.

Heather and I are completely opposite in everyway possible, she thought everyone was her friend, while I know the difference between friends and acquaintances.

She is a blond, while I had a chestnut brown hair. She was carefree and free spirited. I wasn't. But we became very good friends.

We finally reached our destination, luckily for us we shared the same class, but Mitch, Cass, and Isla were in this class as well. As soon as Heather spotted them, she was gone from my side in a jiffy and was with them. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy Heather had other friends, but I knew I'd just melt into the background and never be in the conversation.

The class dragged on and on till it finally came to an end. And as I predicted, I was never in the conversation.

Heather was by my side once more, our hands were hooked together as she rambled on about Shane, her boyfriend. She must have thought I listened to her from the beginning, but I was lost, luckily I was able to"awwn", "OMG" and widen my eyes at the appropriate places. We headed toward the car park, where Heather had parked her Audi, it was mom's turn to take the car to work today so Heather had to drop me off.

As we neared her car, my eyes strayed to an expensive looking car. I wondered which student needed to bring such asset to school. The glass was tinted so I couldn't see who was inside the car. The person inside came out of it, he looked like the driver. Complete with the uniform and all. Seemingly looking for a student.

"Who do you think he came looking for?" Heather asked, I guess she noticed too, lots of students noticed.

I shrugged in response, it could be anyone we didn't know everyone that attended Reefside High.

I spotted Ryder going towards the car, with his head down.

"Isn't that the deliquent?" Heather asked.

I was slightly offended, she didn't know the guy.

"Heather, just because he doesn't come to school at all, and doesn't have friends, that

makes him a deliquent?" I questioned.

She looked at me strangely.

"You ever seen him vandalizing property? or beating up someone?" I pressed further, she still looked at me strangely. Rolling my eyes, I walked past her, coincidentally locking eyes with Ryder. My breath seized in my throat, he had the most georgous set of blue eyes. Before I could get a closer look at them, he ducked his head and entered the car.

Following his lead, I entered Heather's car too, and she drove away.

"Do you know him?" Heather asked.

"Not really" I knew she was talking about Ryder.

Casting a side way glance at me. "I don't think I believe you, you sounded like you knew him". She pressed.

"Heather, no I do not know him, he hardly ever comes to school". I answered irritatedly.

"Then how do you know how often he comes to school?".

"Because he is in my photography class! Oh my God Heather, you know I just moved to this town, you are pretty much the only person I know, I defended him because it's totally unfair to talk crap about someone you don't know!"

By the time I finished my rant, I was breathing heavily, and Heather stared at me wide eyed. It was the first time she saw me in such a foul mood. I noticed we were parked in front of my house, mumbling a quick apology, I opened the door, practically flying out and dashing inside my house. Once inside, I relished the silence of the house. Breathing in, I pulled myself to my bedroom avoiding the sitting room completely.

After fixing myself a sandwich, I drifted off to sleep, waking up only after hearing the sound of the front door opening, I checked my phone it was around midnight, meaning Mom had come back from her shift at the hospital. I jumped out of bed to meet her, because I knew before I would wake up, she'd be off to work.

"Hey Mom", I said smiling.

"Hey" she said tiredly, she tried to smile back but it was like her facial muscles didn't remember how.

"How was work?" I asked hopefully.

"It was fine, school?" she asked but she was busy rummaging her bag for something.

"It wasn't bad" I said shrugging off her indifference. She nodded.

"I'm going to head to bed now"

"But I made chicken sandwiches, have a bite before you go" I said moving to microwave them for her.

"I already ate dinner at the office" she said entering her room and closing the door, not even offering a 'goodnight'.

Tears pricked my eyeballs, threatening to fall, I didn't like anything happening in my life right now. I wanted my family to be whole again. I could hear dad's voice in my head taunting me, " It's your fault our family is a mess, I wish your mom aborted you when I told her to".

The tears streamed down my face as I raced to my bathroom, taking a blade from my toilet cabinet, I sliced my wrist again welcoming the numb.