That evening, I bought many packets of injections and cotton from a medical store. I also bought lots of fruits and a ball pen. Once back, I closed the room from inside. For a few minutes, I silently sat on a chair. Then I lit a candle, and one by one started burning all the sheets of my Novel. As I burnt my dreams with my own hands, tears rolled down my face. Only I or Rihana knew the story of my Novel. Nobody else had even bothered to read it once.

With every burning page, my dreams were also going up in the smoke. Maybe this is what God wanted.

I could see my dream break, but could not see my love or Rihana’s dream lose. Shortly, the ashes of my burnt dream were lying scattered around the room, and I was crying inconsolably. If she had not met me, she would have been alive today. If she had not made my dream, her dream, she would not have been dead. If she had not thought of giving me a birthday gift, she would still be living. But these were just my thoughts. In reality, she was gone forever.

I was thinking what Mr. Bajaj had told me – the day my name reached his office before me, in other words, if I became famous, he would publish my Novel. But the Novel had turned to ashes now.

I took out the injections and cotton from my bag. What I was going to do now, no lover would have ever done. I inserted the injection in my veins, and extracted blood, which I then poured in the cup, in which Rihana had had coffee with me for the first time. My whole body was trembling, paining, but it was nothing compared to the pain of Rihana’s absence and my love for her.

Thrice I extracted my own blood. The cup was half-filled now. I dipped a piece of cotton in my blood, and wrote on the wall,

“The day your name reaches my office before you, I will definitely publish your Novel”

The blood in the cup had finished. I ate one banana and an apple. Now what I was trying to do was, perhaps, the beginning of my end.

I again extracted blood and filled it in the ball pen. Then I settled on the chair and started writing my love story. Since this was the beginning of my end, I also gave the story the title “The beginning of my end”.

For five days, day and night I kept extracting blood from my body, and kept writing my love story. A large amount of my blood had become the ink on those sheets. My Novel was complete now. The Novel contained every sweet and sour moments I had spent with Rihana. I had become very weak due to the blood loss. Everything appeared dark to me. Now was the time to inflict maximum pain on myself. In all these months I had realized that the world was a very selfish place. If it can benefit even from your death, it won’t hesitate to encash it. I was sure my name would be on everyone’s lips and Mr. Bajaj would definitely publish my and Rihana’s love story. I collected all the sheets with my story written in blood, put them on the table and put the cup on top of it. Today was 7th February. I had no more reason to live now. After my death, I would be able to fulfill Rihana’s dream, even if I would no longer be there to see it. I kept looking at Rihana’s cup for a while as I wanted to leave the world with the memory of our first meeting in my heart. After my death, I would definitely meet her soul. 

I cut the veins of my right hand with a blade.