When I was younger, my mom would always tell me that love is not perfect all the time. There are days when everything is happy and calm and there are days when everything seems like it’s falling apart. I guess the latter is what people feel during break up.

Jane nods in understanding. She wipes her tears and lightly smiles.

“That makes sense. I should just let him be.”

Before I can say anything, she gets her wallet and gives me her payment. I accept it and she and Mel leave without waiting for me to say anything. Mel waves and mouths, “thank you”.

In cases like this, it makes me think why are people so eager to be in a relationship when there is a 50% chance that it will end up in a break up. Why do people spend time and effort on someone they can easily lose? Isn’t it much better to be alone than feel all those pain for just a person?

“You seem to be in deep thought today”

Claire comments as we walk the hallways. Last class is finally over and I can go home to rest. Cloud has a club meeting so I’ll be going home alone. I can’t believe he already has a club. I don’t even know which clubs to join.

I smile, “Yeah sorry. Um, do you know which clubs I can join?”

Claire looks surprised by my question. Maybe I don’t look like someone who is interested in clubs. But this is the only way I can get more clients and if I’m lucky, friends.

“Well, you mentioned before that you like reading books. You can join the book club. They just stay in the library and read tons of books. After, they discuss what they learned.”

I smile, I guess I can join that. It seems like Claire notices my reaction and points the other direction from where we are.

“The library is that way. Just sign up and attend their meeting tomorrow. Or! You can ask Matthew, he’s the President of that club.”

She winks. I don’t know why Claire, and the other students who cheered last time, keep pushing us together. We barely chat and it’s my second day here. I really don’t understand these kids. Before I can say anything, she pushes me in the opposite direction.

“Go on. I can walk from here! See you!”

It’s not that I don’t want to go alone, I just don’t know where to find the library. I continue walking until I see the twins.

“Ciel! Are you joining us today?” Mon or Min asks, I still can’t distinguish who’s who.

I shake my head, “I’m looking for the library? I want to sign up for the book club?”

The twins clap their hands happily. It’s supposed to be creepy but since they are both good-looking guys, it looks cute. One of them points the paper by the door.

“We’ll see you tomorrow then.” One of the twins says and they left.

I walk to the paper. Around 10 names are here. I pause, this is a good club. I mean, I love reading, and being with people with the same interests as I am is good for me. I nod and get my paper to write my name.

Simon seems to be busy today. I am standing by the tree where I saw him yesterday, hoping to see him again but I don’t think he is coming. I sigh, I wasted this outfit for nothing. I guess I should stop being this foolish. I laugh at myself.

I am about to walk when I hear footsteps coming in my direction. I turn and I pause, Simon is walking while reading a book.

So that’s why he is late. It’s not like we talked about walking together or anything. I feel more foolish now than before. I’m not dating him or anything but seeing him like this, makes me feel calm and happy. He makes me feel all these things at once.

It’s as if my thoughts are too loud, he raises his head. He looks shocked at first then he smiles.

“Ciel, I almost didn’t recognize you.”

I chuckle and look down. He rushes to me and I can smell him now. He smells like strawberry. He places his book in his bag and looks at me.

“So, what’s the occasion?”

I turn to him and he is looking at my clothes. I suddenly feel shy. This is a mistake. Cloud’s advice did not work. I must look stupid now.

“Hey, I didn’t mean to offend you or anything. You look great.”

He really knows how to catch me off guard, doesn’t he? I smile.

“Thank you. I just wanted to change for a bit.”

He raises his eyebrow, “what for? You look great in your usual clothes.”

This is what my mom meant when she said that love accepts you for who you are. Until you found that someone, you can’t settle for less. That’s the thing with humans, a tiny concern or appreciation already makes us fall for someone and we’ll be surprised when one day, they just ask us to change.

Relationships these days are like that. They tend to control and manipulate their partner to become their ideal mate. But love doesn’t and shouldn’t work that way. You need to love that person for who he or she is, unless of course, that person’s personality is toxic for you.

In my case, I am happy that I don’t have to change for Simon to notice me. I don’t know if he likes me to that extent, but I guess I can do with these small compliments.

He then pats my shoulder. “oh! I remembered! I have an extra ticket for this small concert on Saturday. Are you free?”

As a girl who never dated anyone, this is going to be my first date and I am so glad that it is with someone I like. But does this mean that he likes me too?