Mason and I broke up after a week, approaching two. I swear I know I did a bad thing from the moment I didn’t say anything about us being a couple. I know he liked me, I know he really did. He kept texting me and saying he was sorry. I could see the damage I did. I was his first girlfriend, after all, but I can’t lie to him anymore. I was merely attracted to him because he’s cute and yes, I like him but I didn’t like him more than a crush.

Louis texted me soon after the breakup, asking me what happened. I said sorry to him for what I did to his friend.

By this time, I can barely get a grip on the fact that I liked Louis more than Mason - not romantically enough that I can say that I have a crush on him but I knew I liked him more. I was happy that he texted me again. I was happier when I heard it didn’t go well with Mitch, too.

I’m horrible, I know.

I broke his friend’s heart and there he was, also broke his, still, I was happy.

Lines and strings of thoughts soon became blurred as I tried harder to recall it. I skipped to the scene where I was at Saj’s one summer day and she showed me a framed oil pastel drawing and said it was from Mason and they started going out. I smiled and reached for her, happy about what she said.

I wanted to congratulate Mason but I’m sensitive enough not to do that. I was the bitch who broke his heart and I know that much. I texted Louis instead and told him about the news. I even insisted that he should have a girlfriend, too, and I know who exactly is perfect for him. You see, I still hadn’t given up on the Louis-Paige plan at that time.

‘You get moving and be brave. Paige is waiting for you,’ I remembered texting with a typed laugh and tons of emoticons.

‘Why do you keep pushing her to me when she’s not the one I like?’ He replied and I could feel the coldness of the message but somehow my heart began racing, so fast that my hands sweat as I typed my reply, too.

‘Who is the one you like? How come I am not informed?’ I asked.

His reply was, ‘It’s a secret.’

Oh, dear Lord Dad, I still can remember how much I squealed that day. He didn’t say anything but I can feel he was flirting. If you asked the younger me on this scene, I will say that I am just setting my hopes high, but if it’s me right now, I know my instincts did a great job.

I was proud of how sharp I was but still annoyed how of a “torpe” he was back then, I ended the memory and stacked in with the name File #5.