Chapter One

For fleeting moments, I thought I had seen him before. I supposed of it one day when I saw him on the first day of school. He seems familiar to me, however I just can’t point out where and how I saw him. But ever since we met in the campus, I always catch him staring at me. And I on the other hand, was always in deep thought, remembering where I had seen him before.

At first, I thought it was nothing and said to myself that maybe, it was just a strayed misguided look from something particularly near or behind me. But when it repeated again, his sudden long stares at me grew slower and heavier. And whenever I caught his gazes, I never failed to notice how he looked lost while he stares on my eyes.

I insisted on my mind that it was really nothing and that it isn’t for me. But one day, when I was at the cafeteria, I wasn’t able to stop myself to ask something on my friend, Tatiana, about the strange guy that kept on staring at me—sneaking glances every now and then whenever there’s a chance.

“Yanna,” I whispered in a low cautious voice. She only shot a look at me before she went her attention back on her food. But she raised an eyebrow, indicating that she was listening. “Do you know the n-name of that guy over there?” I asked as I pointed the familiar yet strange man with my eyes. I suddenly stuttered out of anxiety.

Apparently, Tatiana didn’t understand and she didn’t even know who I was subtly pointing. She scanned the whole cafeteria with her curious gaze, and then it shifted right back at me. Tatiana moved closer and whispered back.

“Who is it?” She asked.

I bit my lips lightly. “The one w-wearing…”

I secretly glanced at the man and saw that he had already been looking at me, maybe for a while. He looked genuinely surprised with my sudden glance as he paused for moments. And a few seconds or more had passed since our meeting gaze. His slanted eyes slightly widened and I could see the redness of his face from my distance.

I immediately pull out my stares and regained composure when I felt Tatiana’s controlled pinch on my wrist. I turned my attention to my friend and noticed how she stressed me a knowing gaze. My heartbeat ran fast with that look.

“Why?” I asked.

She smirked. “So, you finally have a crush, huh?”

I repeatedly shook my head the moment I heard those words. Tatiana’s annoying laugh made the people near us shot a look to our table. And in between those moments, I managed to sneak a gaze to him again—only to realize that he was already into my eyes. And it was there where I realized his all-white uniform; it perfectly matched his porcelain skin, hooded slanted chinky eyes and his clean look and frugal manner based on what I noticed in a short span of time.

Tatiana’s chuckle rang to my ears once again. “Are you really serious? You don’t know him?”

“I won’t ask you if I know him right from the very start, Yanna.” I answered directly, somehow building irritation to show dominance—and that this was nothing to me.

And with that, I did not bother to glance at the man again right after I’ve noticed his uniform. Instead, I focused and continued indulging my morning snack. Meanwhile, Tatiana had this annoying smile plastered on her face. It was irritating.

“Yeah, I mean, based from his uniform, he’s a college student. But, I’m not sure what year is he in.” Tatiana whispered. “But, he’s pretty famous here; Asian doll-look and porcelain skin. Aside from his appearance, he’s also smart.”

“And…” She sang the word. “…on the contrary, you, Chelo my dear, is in 11th grade. Don’t get too close with him, okay? He’s pretty much experienced.”

It made me laugh. “I was just curious, Yanna. You’ve said so much nonsense.” I shook my head.

“Well, it’s for your safety after all.” She shrugged. “Not to mention, but, he’ll prolly be a busy boyfriend. College of Medicine.” She said like it was enough.

I chuckled more and didn’t bother to comment. It’s not like it’s needed, anyway. Besides, this is a nonsense topic of ours to talk about. I didn’t even have a hidden intention with my question. I was plainly, purely and utterly curious. No need for unwanted display of malice.

The day ended peacefully and since then, I haven’t had another encounter with him. Days turned to weeks until it became months, I continued my regular student life without the thought of him running to my mind. I focused on my studies and how to adjust in this new environment I’m in. Everything felt foreign; from the system, the place, the people and the feelings.

The university that my Mom chose for me to study was large and famous in the country. However, the student body of senior high school unit didn’t have that much of a large number. But it made me more comfortable as I slowly accustomed myself to the new environment.

But, the school always has an event or celebration and all students from the SHS unit and College students from different courses were assembled in the auditorium. Right now, it’s the official birthday celebration of the School Head and President; all students were gathered in one place. The mass had ended and we’re currently having our 10 minute break for morning snack before the occasion’s continuation.

I was on the outside corner of the cafeteria, waiting for Tatiana fighting for food among the heavy crowd. I wasn’t that hungry so I stayed and didn’t bother to ask her to buy me some. My water in my hydroflask is enough for me to endure the whole morning’s event.

The bright cheerful sun was up in the sky but it wasn’t burning to my skin. The occasional breeze of morning wind subtly sneaked in the surrounding and on our body, making the weather vibrant and making us feel fresh.

An unfamiliar virile scent attacked my sense of smell. I searched for it, only to realize that it was from him, the strange guy. Shocked by the sudden encounter, I froze—and he did too as he also stopped his tracks and remained still right in front of me. He had two unfamiliar men with him that noticed our weird disposition, but later on as they realized—they also stopped and looked shocked with the situation.

Red started to flow over, the embarrassment and discomfort that I am currently feeling burst in me. I didn’t know what to do at that moment. Fortunately, he seemed to realize his shocked disposition and immediately left in front of me. He ignored the awkwardness as he ran away and entered the cafeteria. It made me sigh in relief.

Yet, I couldn’t stop. I tried so hard to be subtle and unnoticed to gaze at him, but just like before, he was already staring on me. I felt my heart drop along with the loud and heavy tug of beat inside me. I looked away and decided to focus my attention on my half-empty water bottle.

Several minutes had passed but my friend, Tatiana, still wasn’t finish. I heard the announcement of the school’s admin from the speakers that break time’s about to end. I shifted my attention on the inside; I tried to scan the cafeteria to look for Tatiana in the heavy crowd. But instead, my eyes caught the strange guy’s stares. And he was about to come near—I mean, he’s leaving the cafeteria.

He walked to my side and I took few steps backward to give him more space to tread, even when he already had enough space to walk to. But, I was genuinely surprised when I realized he intentionally stopped right in front of me as he handed me a paper bag. Brave enough to do such thing, I looked up and met his gaze—and it was there when I realized how his eyes glisten with unnamed emotions.

“Y-Yes?” It was the first word that I muttered for him.

I saw how his eyes moved like he was looking for something in my eyes. It twinkled with another unnamed emotion. My lips went agape when he says; “Here, I bought this for you.”

His voice was cold and deep. And I had no idea what to do; the words to say and actions to move. Behind him were still the two unfamiliar men that I noticed earlier and they also wore this particular all-white uniform. My eyes shifted from him, to the paper bag, the men behind, and back to his expecting gaze. I also realized how his palm that clutched the bag quivered and his smile beamed with gloom concealed with his blank expression on his face.

It made me finally appreciate the gesture. I slowly accept the thing he gave for me as I smiled at him sincerely. I immediately noticed how his chest moved for a heavy sigh in relief. Then, he was patted by his foreign-looking friend on his shoulder. And once again, I sensed something indifferent with their impressions and it made me bob my head. I mumbled my gratitude and I hoped that he heard me.

When I tried to look back at them, I noticed that they had already left me alone. I search for them in the sea of strangers, and immediately noticed their bright and white uniforms. I took several steps forward, but then stopped when an unknown feeling washed over me.

I wasn’t able to properly thank him.

My eyes remained staring on his back walking away from me. He was now laughing with his friends. And when my eyes caught his twinkling russet hues that gleamed along with the shift of sun’s ray, I had learned to appreciate his appealing and soulful appearance.

I neither run nor walk to catch up to him. Yet, my eyes lingered to his smile and how his eyes twinkled in the bright beams of sun.

Looking down, I shifted my attention and stared on the paper bag he gave me. I opened it and then saw some of my favorite snacks that I always eat every morning break. A chocolate drink, small water bottle, cinnamon bun and several chocolate biscuits were inside. I felt my head heat.

Tatiana was suddenly beside me and she immediately noticed the familiar bag from our cafeteria. “Oh? I thought you weren’t buying anything? Wait, did you—“

She was about to take a peek inside of it but I instantly held her wrist and pulled her to move. I didn’t give her any answers as we walked faster on the way auditorium. And even when I obviously hear Tatiana’s remarks and complaints behind me, I continued dragging her.

My supposed to be a normal day changed course into a strange one—but maybe, this’ll be my usual typical day from now on—having a sudden weird encounter with the strange guy. I could get used to it, I think. But, just when I was about to prepare myself for the worse, Fate once again reformed the direction of my life.

Weeks had passed since then, I shouldn’t have noticed—but on silent moments, my mind suddenly remembers how his eyes glistened.

And as I silently leave the campus, the sunset’s orange hues highlighted my skin. It was beautiful. I also noticed how my skin shone…just like how his eyes did with the sun’s rays on that particular moment.

Today marks the end of our midterms. It was peaceful day, one that I didn’t imagine on situations like these. I thought people would be loud and celebrate the end of hell week. But, I was wrong. I guess it’s another added proof to the series of reality and expectations. However, my classmates planned for us to have a get-together in a coffee shop near our university. But I refused, noticing how the orange hues of sky suddenly painted with the set of dark and gray tints.

I looked for my small automatic umbrella inside my bag. Unfortunately, it wasn’t there. I swiftly walked the distance of our school to the street corner’s waiting shed. There, I waited for a public utility vehicle. And just like what I guessed earlier—drops of rain started to pour. The drizzle started.

Afraid of my shoes getting wet, I took a few steps backward. I was alone in the waiting area and fears of unknown events and crimes started to flow my mind. The thoughts entered my mind persistently and I tried to distract myself by humming newly discovered melodies composed by yours truly.

Suddenly, a car stopped in front of me. I gazed on it curiously; and when the driver’s seat opened, it revealed the strange guy. My eyes were stuck on him as he ran from his position to the shed where I currently stood and waited. The frightening thoughts that I had earlier were flooded with questions and surprise of him also because of him. I was lucky enough that I was able to stop myself from being direct and inquisitive to the stranger—or should I say, schoolmate.

Minutes passed since he stood beside me with a pretentious distance of a meter away from me. But, I chose to ignore him and the growing awkward silence between us as I focused my attention on the pouring rain on the shed’s ceiling.

But when he suddenly spoke, I couldn’t help myself but to swallow the lump in my throat of tense, discomfort, embarrassment and candid surprise.

“You’ve been waiting here for a PUV, right?” He unexpectedly asked.

I nodded even when my eyes were stuck on the road. I couldn’t find my voice.

We were instantly embraced with another wave of strange indifferent silence. And I let it just like that, even though the sound of our surroundings slowly thread its way to my senses—it was deafening—and I started to become aware with every fiber that hums. The stillness of our breaths that moved both of our chests, the calm strokes of my fingers clutching on the hem of my blouse, his slow rhythmic tap on the ground with his shoes, the subtle whispers of cold wind and the downpour of heavy gloomy rain.

I didn’t know what to do after that awkward sudden interaction. Because in the first place, I really, really don’t know him—he is only familiar to me because we bump into each other in school, of course schoolmate. But aside from that, I have no idea who he is. I don’t even know his name.

“So,” I heard his soft mumble that rustled along the breeze. “…what’re you up to? Going to somewhere?”

I feel like I am starting to become rude if I remain quiet and snob. So, I said. “I-I’m about to visit my Mom to her workplace.”

He nodded like he knew the further details all along. He also had this ghost smile on his lips and it made me more curious. I stared at him. And maybe, he noticed my lingering questioning gaze because his eyes altered to panic. He looked at me with his shifting eyes and back on the road blurry of the cries of the drizzle rain.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have probe.” He said.

I nodded, sensing the mood and atmosphere between us and the surrounding.

“W-Why did you stop your car here? I mean, uh, why—“

“—Ah,” He cut me off. “I’m just drying myself—I mean—shit.” He whispered the cuss but I heard it. “I mean, I don’t want to drive in this weather. The rain’s pelting hard and I can’t see the road clearly. Hehe.” He chuckled casually as if to lighten the situation. He also pointed the glasses that he’s wearing.

Huh. And if that’s the case, then he should’ve sat and waited inside his car right? I said in mind, didn’t bother to say it out loud because I might offend him. Instead, I stayed standing still, without knowing what to do next. But, I chose to concentrate on the pouring drops of rain sliding on the pillar of the shed.

I heard him laugh lightly beside me. “It’s seems like you have a bad blood with the rain because of your stares,” He joked.

“Ah—hahaha—” I laughed with him but I was too conscious to make it genuine. “…It’s not like that,”

And again, I couldn’t find my voice after. But it was a good thing that he didn’t start another attempt exchange of an awkward small conversation. However, after several minutes, he asked something that shook my senses.

“Do you like the rain?” He asked with a low careful tone, as if he was scared to mutter those specific words to me.

He was too hesitant; careful yet probing. He acted confident; but doubts showed over his concealed mask of dominance. He was cold—still, I sensed warmth on him—similar to home.

It made me gaze and watch the flood on the road that was caused by the rain. I weighed my emotions and thoughts. “I-I’m okay with it. I mean, it depends.”

He went silent with my answer. I noticed how his shoulders moved dejectedly. And I also felt how the air between us suddenly changed. The swift of course rendered me speechless. I didn’t know what to do.

The rain’s sorrow slowly ended and so did our attempt of a normal conversation. I remained on the shed, waiting for a vehicle while he was still standing beside me, staring on nothing particular. The drops of rain were getting lighter; I think it’s enough for him to be able to drive in the road. I just don’t know why he’s still here, maybe he’s waiting for someone or something…

But he suddenly said something. I turned to him with my widened eyes and stared while his disposition remained gazing on the little drops of rain.

“I like rain. I love staring at it. The drops are enticing to look at.” He started. “You can also do several entertaining things when it’s raining. Either you play or dance with the rain, or do some stuffs at home drinking hot coffee.” He added.

I chose to answer him. “But with rain, there are also people that are troubled by it. Heavy flood and traffic, people drenched with it and there’s a lot more.” I said.

He knew, he nodded, and he smiled with what I said. He whispered something that I couldn’t grasp.

Both of us stood still in the shed, we did nothing but to stare on the deliberate pace of the few drops of rain. My eyes turned to him and realized that he was already staring at me. His lips went agape as he scanned me. I felt embarrassed but I equaled his stares. And when I happened to look on his eyes—it glistened just like how it did before—and I was lost.

“I’m Axel.” He introduced himself.

I also did, “Chelo.”

Axel nodded and smiled, like what I said was enough despite of my opposing belief of what he is fond of; the rain. Later on, he bid his goodbye to me and I just nodded as I watch his back facing at me, slowly writing a large distance from where I am, utterly leaving me. And it was there when I realized that I still haven’t able to properly express my thanks to him for the second time.

I was about to call him—but my voice was gone on this moment. I remained staring on his back walking away from me, parting—and I let him…as I let the ash-colored skies dim the surroundings.

I also let the cold breeze hug me.