Acidic nausea burns Levi's intestines. He stands, motionless, staring at his phone screen. The monthly paycheck is abysmally low and he wonders how he’s ever going to afford to sustain two people. Suddenly, the earlier cash he’d splurged on fancy café food and new clothes for Haraeya seemed like the dumbest thing he could have done. He wanted to slap himself. Sure, he’d taken the money out of his savings for a new car, but it could have went to something so much more important. Did it really matter that when Levi drove, he was too anxious about his car breaking down at any moment to focus on much else?

Applying for a second job on his laptop was currently not an option. Being able to afford a repair on it was probably going to take a lot longer than he had initially anticipated. So, instead, he unlocks his phone and searches for available jobs in Durham. As he scrolls down and looks at the qualifications required, Levi severely regrets his complacency during his GCSE exams at school. Grades nothing short of atrocious, sixteen year old Levi had gravely fucked over his future self without even knowing it.

Eventually, he found something that was both compatible with his grades and didn’t make him heave at the idea of actually doing the job. Some woman was looking for a cleaner for her two elderly parents. Pay was pretty shit, but above minimum wage so he told himself he couldn’t complain. Three days a week, 5pm-8pm. It worked with his schedule. With a reluctant click, he fills out the application form and sends it off. Sinking back into the sofa, he closes his eyes and sighs deeply.

“What are you doing, Lee?”

Eyes springing open, the man sits up to see Haraeya staring at him from beside the sofa.

“Nothing much. Just looking for another job.”

“Why?”

Scratching the nape of his neck, Levi makes a clicking noise with his tongue as if to say ‘it is what it is’. “No money, init. I have two mouths to feed now.”

“You only have one mouth, Lee,” Haraeya says, brows furrowed.

Levi rolls his eyes. “I mean your mouth, you div.”

Haraeya glares at the floor as if furiously trying to think of a solution.

“Right now would be a great time to tell me if you can magically conjure money from your hands as well as those healing powers,” Levi says with a wistful smile.

Not realising he is joking, Haraeya lets out a sharp breath of frustration. “I am sorry, Lee, I cannot do that.”

A notification pings from his phone and Levi lunges for it, praying for a prompt response from the job advertisement. His posture slumps when he sees it’s just a text from his friend, Andrew.

I’m outside. Open up.

Puzzled, Levi slowly rises from the sofa and nears the front door. He peers through the peephole and, sure enough, there stands Andrew, distorted from the curved glass.

As Levi opens the door, Andrew watches him expectantly. However, when seeing Levi's confused stare, his face falls. “You forgot.”

“Forgot? What did I – ah, shit.” It’s Thursday.

“Look, if you’re busy, I can–”

“No, no!” Levi holds up his hands. “Sorry, mate. It completely slipped my mind. Come in though, I’m free.” He steps aside, allowing Andrew access into the house. With a slight hesitation, Andrew traipses in and heads straight for the living room.

Unlike the Binta situation, this time Levi actually remembers Haraeya’s existence. As he follows behind Andrew, he fumbles to conjure up a convincing lie. He couldn’t go the easy route like he had done before and say Haraeya was Binta’s new flatmate – their flat was strictly girls only. Maybe he could be his new housemate? Yeah, that would make sense. Andrew knew more about Levi's financial situation than even Levi's parents did.

“Oh, who’s–”

“–New housemate. My new housemate,” Levi interrupts, instantly kicking himself for now sounding too scripted. “Needed some more income, init.”

Andrew shrugs. “Cool. Hi, New Housemate. I’m Andrew,” he greets, reaching out to hug a guarded Haraeya.

It’s no secret the angel is a physical person, however, so he takes to this a little too well. The hug is reciprocated with enthusiasm as Haraeya flings his arms around Andrew’s neck and embraces him tightly. “Hello, Andrew! My name is not New Housemate, my name is Haraeya.”

Levi cringes to himself.

Clearly thrown off at his intensity, Andrew pulls from his grasp and laughs uncomfortably. “Uh, cool. Good to meet you, Haraeya.” A fleeting glance is thrown in Levi's direction as if to say ‘Where the hell did you find this nutter?’

Clearing his throat, Levi steps between them and tries to shift the awkward energy fogging up the room in a hot, humid steam like a sauna. “You wanted help studying, Andy. You’ve made the flashcards, right?”

“Yep,” Andrew says, patting the rucksack swung over his left shoulder, “Got everything. You just need to read the cards and see if I get the answers right. You don’t need to know anything.”

Levi snorts. “Good, ‘cos I don’t know shit about engineering.”

Luckily, Levi had successfully convinced Haraeya to have a nap upstairs whilst he helped his friend study. Sure, he liked the boy and enjoyed his company, but he was about as needy as a child. Levi longed for a small break from him, even if it was to do something dull like learn about engineering.

Two hours later and Andrew is packing up his papers.

Picking up a sheet, Levi's eyes skim over it. “I still don’t get what the fuck a G-type Joist Girder is.”

Andrew smiles, swiping the paper from the man’s clutches and stuffing it into his rucksack. “It’s basically a BG-type, just with less panel points.”

Levi stares at him, unblinking. “…Right.”

Chuckling, Andrew approaches the front door. “We still on for Saturday? Don’t want you forgetting again.”

A thought throttles full-force into the front of Levi's skull. “Oh, about that! Binta invited us all out for drinks at ten on Saturday. You wanna meet up with her too?”

Andrew shrugs. “Sure, where we going?”

An itch wriggles on the skin of Levi's wrist like a parasite. He scratches it. “Uh…Peach Juice.”

Andrew’s nose wrinkles. “Peach Juice? Never heard of it. What is it?”

The itch is unrelenting. Levi still scratches but it seems to be getting worse. “Just this bar, I dunno.”

Bottom lip pouted outwards, Andrew nods. “Cool, I’m down. See you then, mate.”

When the door closes behind him, Levi lets out a breath he didn’t even know he was holding in. Only when the bolt clicks shut does the parasite under his red raw wrist seem to die.

A ping from his phone seizes Levi's attention. Reaching for it, he unlocks the screen and, for reasons unbeknownst to himself, his heart begins thumping when he sees it’s an email from the job site. Opening it warily, he reads.

‘Dear Mr Saunders,

Thank you for your interest in the advertised job “Cleaner Needed for OAP’s – Durham”. Unfortunately, my mother suffers from dementia and often is uncomfortable around men. I realise now I should have specified the job is female only. Many apologies.

Mrs Daphne Spencer’

Levi's heart goes from beating at double the pace to dropping to his stomach in a matter of seconds. It’s almost sad how devastated he is at the rejection email – it’s hardly his dream job. But his options are scarce. Now, with this one taken away from him, he has to resort to Plan B. The hospital calls, toilet trips, long-winded stories, and now apparent dementia from this possible job still sounded a hell of a lot better than Plan B. With no other choice, Levi dials the number and waits.

“You alright?”

“Yeah, I’m good,” Levi says, already cringing. “I had a favour to ask though.”

“What d’ya need?”

He places his hand over the speaker to take a deep breath. “Uh…so I’m a little low on money at the moment and I’ve been looking for another job but times are tough, init, and the rent’s coming up so I was just–”

“How much?” Levi can hear the eye roll in her voice.

Another cringe of humiliation rattles through him. “Four hundred? Would that be okay? I’ll pay you back as soon as I get the money, I promise–”

“Your dad’ll send it over this evening.”

Sighing, Levi stares up at the ceiling as he tries to recall the exact point in time when his parents gave up on him. “Cheers, mum.”

“You haven’t spoken to him in months though, Levi. Here, he’s in the kitchen, I’ll pass him the phone–”

Dread bubbles in his stomach. “I’m kinda busy right now, mum.”

“If he’s gonna send you four hundred quid, the least you can do is talk to him for a minute, Levi.” His mum’s voice is stern and Levi knows she is right. Even if she wasn’t, he’d have no choice in the matter anyway. When has he ever?

“Son,” the same monotonous voice speaks.

“Dad.”

“How are things?”

“Good. You?”

“Good.”

“Good.”

“Found a girl yet?”

Levi chews on his fingernail until he draws blood. His mouth tastes of metal. “No, dad.”

There’s a pause and Levi wonders if this is maybe a new record for how quickly he could disappoint his dad in one single conversation. “I’ve been looking at places in Blackpool for you,” his dad finally continues, “Found a nice two bedroom house to rent. Only five hundred a month. Cheaper than the one you ‘ave now, init.”

Sucking the blood from his finger, Levi tries to sound positive. “Yeah, send me the link. I’ll check it out.”

“Alright, will do.”

“Okay.”

“Okay.”

“Well…bye.”

“Bye.” His dad hangs up.

The lonesome silence that follows is like music.

Levi often wonders what the pinnacle point was. The exact moment in time his dad decided he wished he’d never had a child in the first place. Perhaps it was so hard to pinpoint because it happened before Levi was even born. Perhaps he’d held his newborn son for the first time in his arms, gazed down into his innocent brown eyes and said “You disappoint me.” Then lowered him into his cradle beside his mother’s hospital bed, only to never pick him up again.

Bugs fester under Levi's skin. The cravings are back. Fumbling for the packet of nicotine gum in his pocket, he pops a piece into his mouth. Then a second. Then a third. It’s not working.

If he could just have one more, just one more cigarette, that would be his last. And then he’d quit for good.

But you promised.

His mum doesn’t have to know.

It won’t be the last, you know it won’t.

Yes, it will.

It wasn’t last time.

This time’s different.

“Lee!”

The man jumps. He had failed to notice Haraeya’s return. Curls wild and dishevelled, the boy stretches as he yawns.

“Hey, kid.” The man forces a smile, scratching his arm. “You sleep well?”

“Yes, Lee! Sleep is magical! It is like being dead but not forever and it feels good!” Although his voice is gravelly with sleep, it is still thick with the wholesome radiance Levi has already become so familiar with.

The smile that ghosts across the man’s lips is small but genuine. “Good.”

“Who were you talking to on the phone, Lee?” the angel asks curiously.

Chewing on his nail, Levi shrugs to feign nonchalance. “My dad. He was telling me about a place he’s found in Blackpool.” The man doesn’t want to mention his financial struggles to the boy – having to borrow money from his parents is humiliating enough.

“What is Blackpool?”

“It’s a town south west from here. My dad grew up there so he’s weirdly patriotic about the place, init. I’m gonna get married before I’m thirty and start a family with my wife there. He’s already looking for places.”

“That sounds wonderful, Lee,” Haraeya beams, “Is Blackpool your Heaven?”

The man nibbles on his lip. “I mean, no, but it’s where I’m supposed to live, init.”

“Supposed to?” Haraeya frowns, “Is that another human rule? Did society say so?”

“I–no,” Levi sighs, collapsing onto the sofa, “It’s just how my life is supposed to go.”

“Says who?”

“My dad.”

Tilting his head to one side, the angel seems to analyse Levi. “But what about you, Lee? How do you say your life is supposed to go?”

After a brief pause, the man shrugs. “I dunno. I’ve never thought about it before…I’ve never had to think about it before.”

The angel’s stare burns through Levi's flesh. “Where is your Heaven, Lee?”

Tears burn the back of Levi's eyes when he realises that he doesn’t know. He doesn’t know what he wants. His dad had stolen any kind of ambition he’d had as a child, drained it from him as if pulling out a plug. It’s easy and justified to hate your father if he walks out on you, or cheats on your mother, or beats you behind closed doors. But despising his father for wanting to give him a good life – Levi just felt like an ungrateful asshole.

Blinking back his tears, the man turns away from Haraeya. “I dunno. I guess I don’t have one.”

Warmth radiates through Levi as Haraeya sits down beside him. The boy stares at him with intense sincerity. “I hope you find your Heaven, Lee.”

Lip twitched into a somber smile, Levi shrugs. “Yeah.”