It takes approximately two seconds after waking up for Levi to recall the events of the previous day. Although vivid, detailed and…interesting, there is still a part of the man’s brain that tries to convince him it was all some bizarre dream. As he pads towards the spare room, he half expects to see the empty bed, stripped of sheets, just as it always has been. He’d laugh at his crazy mind and recite the dream back to his friends, and they’d all have a good chuckle over it.

This assuring image is confirmed when Levi's vision lands on the naked, unoccupied bed stripped of the duvet he had imagined tucking an angel into the previous night. Snorting to himself at his crazy imagination, the man puts it down to nicotine withdrawals. Yawning loudly, he trudges down the stairs and into the kitchen. Kettle on and bread in the toaster, he checks the notifications on his phone. Nothing crazy, as usual – a missed call from Binta, weather updates and a message from Andrew of a picture of his dog, Spaghetti.

Minutes later and Levi has finished buttering his toast and pouring milk into his tea. Holding the slice of toast between his teeth, the man slumps into the living room, before halting abruptly in his tracks. He doesn’t know what to register first, the sofa cushions splayed across the floor, the coffee table turned over onto its side…the pair of wings in the armchair. It all comes crashing down on the man almost as intensely as the first time. It wasn’t a dream.

Panic suddenly consumes him as he realises Haraeya is missing. He tries to swallow the toast but it gets stuck halfway down his suddenly-dry throat. Hurrying back up the stairs, he checks the spare room once again in case his eyes had deceived him the first time. “Kid?!”

But he’s not there.

Frantically, he searches all of the rooms upstairs, but to no avail. Running his fingers through his hair, the man attempts to take steady breaths as he paces the hallway. After a few moments, he hurries down the stairs again. Panting for breath as he races around the house, Levi still doesn’t find him. What if he’s run away? Levi wonders. He’d never survive out there on his own, the boy’s completely clueless.

Levi freezes when he suddenly hears a faint voice sounding from somewhere. It takes him a few seconds to realise it’s coming from the back garden. Opening the door, he steps outside and almost collapses onto his knees with relief. There, on the dying square of unwatered lawn, sits Haraeya. The duvet cover is wrapped around him and the man watches on in awe when he sees the creatures surrounding the angel. A pigeon is perched on his knee, cooing serenely. The boy’s palm is resting gently on a rabbit who sits in his lap. A squirrel scuttles up his back and onto his shoulder, making the boy giggle. As a turquoise butterfly flutters towards him, Haraeya holds out his finger and, without hesitation, the butterfly lands on it.

“I like your wings, little one,” Haraeya says to it softly, “I used to have wings too! Mine were white though.”

Inspecting the insect with admiration, the boy still hasn’t even noticed Levi's presence. It is only when the man takes a few wary steps towards him, that Haraeya’s gaze flicks from the butterfly to his eyes. As green meets brown, a wide grin splits his face apart.

“Lee!” The rabbit in his lap jumps slightly at the boy’s sudden outburst, its ears perking up in surprise.

Eyes wide, Levi surveys the scene in front of him. “Did I wake up in a Disney film or something?”

“Lee, look at this creature!” Haraeya extends his hand towards Levi to present the butterfly, “She is beautiful!” He proceeds to blow gently on it and, almost as if instructed to, the butterfly flaps away.

Distracted, Levi watches it flutter over the fence before he is snapped back to reality. He glares at Haraeya. “Why did you go outside? You can’t just wander off, kid, you had me worried, init!” His phone rings from his pocket but the man ignores it.

The boy looks at him apologetically. “I am sorry, Lee, I did not mean to have you worried. This tiny Earth angel was calling me and I did not want to be rude.” He turns to look at the pigeon on his knee. As if on cue, it coos and hops up onto his arm.

“Earth angel? I – that ain’t an Earth angel, you muppet, that’s a pigeon! Put it down, it’s vermin!” Levi takes several more steps towards Haraeya, causing him to hunch up protectively.

“What is vermin, Lee?” he asks smally, running his forefinger down the curve of the pigeon’s back.

“Pests! They have no purpose, just shit on everything and spread diseases.”

Haraeya seems hurt at this. Mouth popping open, he shakes his head in furious disagreement. “Every single creature on Earth has a purpose, Lee. They were all made in the Lord’s image. This pigeon could have been your Eema in a past life.”

Levi scowls at the bird. “Doubt my mum would shit all over my car.” The pigeon’s head shoots in the man’s direction to stare at him and he shudders. “How can you let that thing near you? They’re creepy as hell.”

“He is beautiful, Lee!” Haraeya argues, placing a protective hand over the bird’s back, “I like Pigeon very much.”

Sighing, Levi turns on his heel and retreats back to the house. “You’re crazy,” he mutters under his breath.

Almost as soon as he steps back into the house, Haraeya is following after him. The animals accompanying him are nowhere to be found. Levi wonders momentarily if he had imagined the rabbit in his lap.

“Lee, my tummy is doing hunger again,” Haraeya says, clutching at his stomach, “It is growling at me.”

A twitch of a smile tugs at the corner of Levi's mouth. “I’ll see what I can get you.” His eyes fall to the fruit scattered across the floor from the previous night. “Have a banana or something.”

Following the man’s gaze, Haraeya warily picks up the yellow fruit. He sniffs it and turns his nose up in distaste.

Sighing in mild amusement, Levi takes the banana from the boy and peels it, handing it back to him without a word exchanged between the two of them. Sniffing it once more, Haraeya takes a small, cautious bite. Eyes brightening, he hurriedly takes another.

“I like this bananana, Lee! I like it even more than doughnut!” he chirps, cheeks full like a curly-haired hamster.

“Banana. And good, I only have them ‘cos my mum brought them round to try and make me eat healthy but that ain’t happening so you can clear out my fruit bowl, init,” the man smirks. His face drops, however, when he examines his bombsite of a living room. Haphazardly chucking a cushion onto the sofa, he turns to point an accusing finger at Haraeya. “You’re gonna help me with this, kid, there’s no way I’m tidying all this shit by myself.”

Twenty minutes later, Levi is picking up a coaster from the carpet when he is interrupted by a loud knock at his front door. He frowns, puzzled, as he knows he isn’t expecting anyone. Dropping the coaster onto the table, he is about to answer the door when his eyes fall on the wings sitting in his chair. “Shit.” Grabbing them, he hears Haraeya’s cries behind him to be careful as he rushes upstairs. The knocking continues. “Just a sec!” He frantically scans his bedroom, eventually settling on stuffing them into the bottom drawer of his dresser. A single ivory feather breaks off and drifts to the carpet. Levi kicks it under the bed before darting down the stairs and opening the front door.

Before he can stop them, a colourful figure barges past him and into the house. With the craziness that has invaded his life recently, Levi doubts he would even bat an eye if the intruder turned out to be a rainbow-skinned troll. But, much to his relief, he recognises the scowling woman.

“Pick up your phone next time, you rude little gremlin,” Binta huffs, “I had to walk here by myself and pass that weird dude with the comb-over at the bus stop who keeps hitting on me.”

Levi chuckles, shutting the door. “My bad, B. It’s been a…busy morning, init. Why were you phoning me?”

Groaning, Binta dramatically snaps her neck up to stare at the ceiling. “I have the afternoon shift and I lost my sheet music for that Satie piece…Lent et whatever-it’s-called.”

“Lent et douloureux?”

“Douloureux, that’s the bitch!” she exclaims, entering the living room, “Do you have a spare sheet? I – oh, sorry, I didn’t know you had company.”

Levi almost smacks himself in the face; amidst the chaos, he had momentarily forgotten Haraeya was even here. Hurrying after Binta, he steps through the doorway to see them both standing on opposite sides of the room, staring at each other as if they are a rival pride of lions.

“Oh, yeah, this…this is Haraeya,” Levi explains, his mind whirring to think of some plausible lie he could tell her.

“Wow!” the angel gasps, pointing at her head, “Your hair is orange!”

Frowning in amusement, Binta sends a questioning glance in Levi's direction, before turning back to Haraeya. “Uh…no, this isn’t my hair. It’s a headwrap.” She laughs awkwardly.

“Wow, you are very beautiful!” he exclaims, padding curiously towards her.

She snorts, placing her hands on her hips. “Cheers. But you’re not really my type. No offence.”

It is clear Haraeya has no idea what Binta is talking about, but the angel nods and smiles at her anyway.

As Levi digs through his briefcase for the sheet music, a sudden blanket of dread drapes over his shoulders. Haraeya isn’t his little secret anymore. This weird, weird boy who Levi could have once convinced himself was nothing but a hallucination is now a daunting reality. There is no more denying that this boy is real – that angels are real. Going his whole life firmly believing science over religion, Levi has found his entire world flipped upside down and now he is being forced to reconsider everything he once thought true. He knows that his life will never be the same again, and he doesn’t quite know how to feel about that.

“So, who’s your boy toy, Levi?” Binta asks, accepting the papers Levi holds out for her and pocketing them.

“Boy t–? No, what the fuck, B, it’s nothin’ like that! He’s…my mate’s friend.” The gears in Levi's brain are reeling and beads of sweat start to form at his hairline.

Binta quirks a dark brow, seemingly unconvinced. “Your mate’s friend. Sure. You know, in my uni dorms we have this rule for when you have ‘company’ over,” she air-quotes, “Just put a tie or sock or something around the doorknob so no one’ll disturb you.”

“He ain’t my boy toy!” Levi snaps, leading her to the front door, “He’s an exchange student from Andrew’s uni. He was meant to stay with Andrew but the dorms got crowded so I offered to let him stay here, init.”

Watching him skeptically for a few moments, Binta nods slowly. “Exchange student. Explains why he’s a bit…odd.”

They both turn to look at the boy sniffing Levi's briefcase that sits on the table. Levi rubs his temples.

“Oh!” Binta suddenly exclaims, making Levi jump as she clamps her hand on his shoulder. “I almost forgot! I’m going out with a few friends to Peach Juice this Saturday. Wanna come? You can bring Boy Toy with you if you want,” she smirks.

“Peach Juice?” Levi asks, frowning, “Ain’t that a gay bar?”

“The gayest bar in Durham,” Binta announces, dramatically throwing her arms into the air. “I’ll let the girls know you two are coming.”

Scratching the nape of his neck, the man fumbles for an excuse.“Yeah, I can’t, sorry. I’m seeing Andrew on Saturday.”

“Great!” she beams, opening the front door, “Bring him with you!”

“No, I don’t–”

“I’ll see you all there then!” she nods, stepping outside, “Saturday at ten!”

“But I–”

“Bring Boy Toy with you, remember, I bet Kandy’ll eat him up.” Before Levi can even attempt to protest any further, the door shuts in his face. Groaning loudly, he presses his forehead against the wood and closes his eyes. The only thing worse than a gay bar to Levi is a local gay bar. A local gay bar where people could recognise him. The idea of people seeing him and getting the wrong idea makes him physically nauseous.

“What is boy toy, Lee?”

⌂

Warm shards pelt Levi's back like needles. Hand pressed against the cold tiles in front of him, he observes his shrivelled fingertips. One day he won’t have to be stood under a shower head for twenty minutes for them to look like this. He will be old and wrinkled, his hair frosted a ghostly white. Or maybe it will all fall out and he’ll resemble a veiny, liver-spotted bowling ball. Everything will hurt, his body will ache, he’ll die and then that will be it. Except that won’t be it. Moments after his last breath, he will be born all over again in an entirely different body. He could be a lion or a dung beetle or maybe even a sunflower. And depending on whether or not Levi can help him, Haraeya will either be aging alongside him or will outlive all of Levi's lives for eternity. The pressure weighs heavy on the man’s shoulders and he lowers his head in thought. Water droplets form at his eyelashes and fall to linger on the curve of his bottom lip when he blinks them away. The hot steam curls down his throat and presses onto his lungs. The man spares a fleeting glance at the temperature dial on the wall. The sound of the water thrashing against the bathtub does nothing to drown out the thrumming in his ears. Inhaling the humid air, he represses the memories and fights the urge. Maybe just for a moment, he considers, just a few seconds won’t hurt. The man hadn’t even notice he had closed his eyes, but when he opens them, he sees his hand reaching for the dial. Snapping back to reality, he redirects his hand to slam the off button. The water stops and he is met with deafening silence. Goosebumps layer his flesh as Levi leans back against the tiled wall, naked, wet and desperately trying to catch his breath.

Towel around his waist, Levi enters his bedroom and jumps slightly when he sees the angel lying back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. Noticing the man’s presence, Haraeya’s eyes light up, before they drift down the man’s tattooed torso in wonder.

“You are like painting.”

Usually when Haraeya is fascinated by something, his green eyes will glisten and the corners of his agape mouth will curve into a delighted smile. But this is one of those rare moments when the boy’s face, although awestruck, remains almost deadly serious. Jumping from the bed, he approaches Levi curiously. As his hands reach out to gently trace the patterns inked onto the man’s flesh, Levi finds his feet rooted to the spot. For the first time in a long time, his mind is blank. There are no thoughts, only colours and unexplainable dread. He watches Haraeya carefully, surveying his every move with unease.

“Your skin tells story like a book,” the boy murmurs, “So beautiful.”

It is only when Haraeya’s fingers innocently travel downward past Levi's navel that the man instinctively slaps his hand away. The boy looks up, startled.

“Don’t…touch me like that, kid,” Levi stutters, hastily speeding past him further into the room, “It’s weird.”

Haraeya sighs almost knowingly. “Because we cannot touch because we are not boyfriend?”

“Yeah. I mean no! I don’t…I don’t know! Just don’t do it.” His grip on the towel tightens. “I need to get dressed.”

Returning to sit on the bed, Haraeya smiles at him. “Okay, Lee!”

“That was me politely asking you to leave,” the man deadpans. Seeing Haraeya’s almost offended expression, he sighs. “At least turn around.”

The boy complies and watches the Pyscho movie poster on the wall behind him. “She does not look happy.”

Levi smirks. “She’s about to get stabbed so, no, she probably ain’t in the best mood.”

“Do you have boyfriend, Lee?”

Almost dropping his belt at the unexpected question, Levi stammers. “I – no. I’m not gay.”

Even with his back to him, Levi can tell the boy is frowning. “What is gay?”

A loud sigh steals all the breath from Levi's body. “This ain’t a conversation I wanna have right now, kid.”

“Am I gay, Lee?”

Levi shrugs, lifting his black tee over his head. “I dunno, are you? Do you like boys?”

Haraeya sways from left to right as if dancing to music Levi cannot hear. “I like everyone!”

“No, but like…do you fancy boys? Do you look at them and feel attracted to them?”

Haraeya pauses in thought. “I do not know.”

“Would you date a boy? Have one as your boyfriend?”

Another pause. “Yes.”

Levi turns to face him, surprised. “You would?”

Still staring at the poster in front of him, Haraeya nods. “Yes. I would date Lee.”

A few incomprehensible noises spurt from Levi's mouth as he tries to find the words – any words. “I…I’m not…I like girls.”

Haraeya’s voice is quiet. “Oh.”

Levi feels like an asshole, although he is unsure why. It’s not his fault he’s not gay. And even if he was, which he isn’t, he wouldn’t date someone as emotionally and psychologically vulnerable as Haraeya.

“But I care about you, kid. We ain’t getting married anytime soon, but I care about you,” Levi says, and the angel finally turns back around to look at him.

“I care about you too, Lee! So very much!”

Rolling his eyes, Levi retreats from the room. “Enough mushy shit, let’s go downstairs,” he says, waving off Haraeya’s affection. But he can’t ignore the way his heart smiles.