vi. toothpaste and immortality

The man and angel are on Levi's shabby old sofa with broken springs and worn-out fabric. Haraeya is huddled against Levi, gripping onto the man’s thumb. An old laptop is perched on Levi's lap and his fingers hover over the keyboard.

“What’s the book called again?” he asks.

“It is the Sequitur, Lee!

Levi types it, pressing down extra hard on the ‘e’ key since he broke it three years ago in a tragic coffee accident. Hitting enter, Levi proceeds to scroll, only to find Latin translations and irrelevant urban dictionary definitions. Haraeya’s gaze is transfixed on the screen and Levi finds himself noticing that the boy almost resembles a kitten. Wide, curious eyes, glossy curls spiralling over his forehead, a ski-slope button nose. He doesn’t possess the stereotypical ‘sculptured by the Gods’ features one would assume an angel to have. He lacks a sharp jawline or defined cheekbones – instead, his face is soft, round and beautiful. Delicate, Levi concludes, is the appropriate adjective.

Almost an hour passes of the two idly scrolling through pages of garbage before anything even remotely useful is found. Finally, fifty-two pages in, they discover the website for an underground bookstore. The website is bland, simple and almost a little eerie looking. The background is white, the text is black with a simple font. No further decoration or graphic design is included. Nevertheless, Levi proceeds to type the name of the book into the search bar and press enter. The grip Haraeya holds around Levi's thumb tightens in excitement when they both see one result. There is no picture available, nor any description. Simply the title Sequitur: English Translation.

“There it is, Lee! I think that is it!” Haraeya gushes, pointing maniacally at the screen in front of them.

Cursor hovering over the title, Levi clicks it and they are redirected to the Sequitur’s details. There is no price, no description, no blurb…nothing. Levi begins to wonder if the site is a scam – that would explain the sketchy-looking layout. Despite his reluctance, he knows he can’t let this little angel down and so clicks ‘Add to cart’. He hesitantly enters his address and cringes when he fills out his credit card details. Peeking through the gaps in his fingers, Levi reluctantly clicks ‘Confirm Purchase’. Haraeya yelps in surprise when the laptop lets out a sudden noise, an angry drone of protest so loud it makes Levi jump. The screen glitches, flashing every colour of the rainbow before suddenly switching to black.

They sit in silence for a few heartbeats, Levi staring blankly back at himself from within the darkened reflection of the grubby screen. He can see that Haraeya is not looking at the laptop, but instead has his head turned to stare perplexedly at the man.

“Was that supposed to happen, Lee?” he asks quietly, “Your flashy box is black.

“Yeah, my laptop was definitely supposed to fucking die, great question, Haraeya!” Levi snaps. He’d basically just broken one of the most expensive possessions he owns so this kid he hardly knew could buy a book he wasn’t even sure actually existed.

“Was that a sarcasm, Lee?” Haraeya questions timidly, still staring at Levi.

Levi is unsure why so much anger is suddenly brewing under his skin; he knows none of this is Haraeya’s fault but he’s pissed. He’s really pissed.

“No fucking shit was it sarcasm, Haraeya!” he exclaims, jolting up from the sofa. “You’ve just broken my laptop! It will take me months to afford a repair!

Haraeya’s nose scrunches as if he’s just sucked on a lemon. “I am sorry, Lee. I do not like it when you are sad.

“Oh, I’m not sad, I’m angry,” Levi says, smacking his laptop shut and chucking it onto an armchair. He checks the watch wrapped around his wrist and exhales sharply. “I need to get changed for work, can you handle spending the evening by yourself here?

Haraeya says nothing, just nods weakly and fixes his eyes onto his lap. Levi watches him for a few moments, the waves crashing within him beginning to settle. He realises he has hurt the angel’s feelings and an instant veil of regret washes over him. His eyes soften and his tensed muscles begin to relax. However, he’s too stubborn to apologise and, instead, turns his back to the angel and heads upstairs.

Minutes later, the man is admiring his outfit in the full length mirror before him. Polished brogues; tailored slacks; a white button-up shirt; a slim, black tie and a fitted, black blazer to complete his formal attire. Reaching for a comb and gel, he slicks back his coily hair to reveal his dark forehead and rounded eyebrows. Patting some cologne onto his stubbled neck, he grabs his briefcase and jogs down the stairs.

“Kid, I’m going to work now so if–” Levi stops mid sentence when he enters the living room to find Haraeya with his head buried into a sofa cushion as he sobs. The sound makes Levi's heart feel as if it is being dragged down through his ribs to his stomach by an anchor. It’s only then he realises how harsh he was to the boy, and so approaches him and tentatively places a hand on his shoulder. The angel’s body stiffens at the sudden contact, and he peers up through red-rimmed eyes at the man feeling nothing but guilt.

“Kid, I’m sorry,” Levi sighs, “I didn’t mean to upset you. I couldn’t think straight, I was seeing red.

“You could see red, Lee? Was it the curtain?

One side of Levi's mouth twitches up into a repressive half smile. “Not literally, it’s an expression. It means I was angry.

“Why were you angry, Lee?” Haraeya asks softly, moving from his position on his stomach to sit on the sofa. He grabs the cushion he was crying into and hugs it against his chest.

“I don’t know, I just–” he pauses to sigh, “Laptops are expensive and I don’t make a lot of money as it is, init. It made me mad and I took it out on you. I’m sorry, kid, it weren’t your fault.

Haraeya’s shimmering eyes crinkle in the corners and a watery smile wavers its way onto his face. “It is okay, Lee, you are forgiven. Where are you going?

Straightening his posture, the man instinctively adjusts his tie. “I’m goin’ to my job. It’s how I earn money to buy things.

“Like my hair-pretty!” Haraeya points excitedly to the bow in his hair.

Levi laughs through his nose. “Exactly. So you sure you’re okay by yourself or do you want me to invite one of my mates over to look after you? I guess I could say you’re a foreign exchange student from Binta’s uni or something, I don’t know.

“I do not understand a lot of what you just said, Lee.

“Forget it,” Levi waves him off, “Are you gonna be alright by yourself?

“Why are you leaving, Lee? Are you coming back?” Haraeya’s voice is somber and low – barely above a whisper.

“Of course I am, you doughnut,” Levi grins, playfully ruffling Haraeya’s hair. He points to the clock on the wall. “When both hands point to the twelve, I’ll be on my way home.

The angel’s smile grows. “I like doughnuts.

Fixing his tie, Levi opens the door and is greeted with the hustle and bustle of customers chatting, along with waiters and waitresses hurrying around with plates balanced on either hand. A grand piano is placed in the centre of the stage, a woman seated behind it as she plays. A red satin dress clings to her tall, curvy figure. Her skin is dark, hair darker and styled into a large afro. High cheekbones sculpt her face and crimson lipstick matching her dress is painted onto her thick lips. She looks breathtaking.

When Levi approaches her, her eyes peer up to meet his and she puffs her cheeks out in relief.

“Ugh, Levi, thank God you’re here!” she exclaims, “I think I’ve worn off all the callouses on my damn fingers I’ve been playing so long.

Without uttering a word, Levi reaches out to take the tall woman’s hand. She accepts it and Levi assists her down the steps of the main stage until she is standing near the exit.

“Forever a gentleman, eh, lad?” she smirks, reaching out to grab hold of the door handle.

Levi snorts. “Yeah, I’m dreamy. Catch up with you soon, yeah, B?

She nods, her high heels clacking against the marble floor as she turns around and heads out the door.

Only when Levi is observing the customers does he realise they are starting to notice the lack of music. He takes this as his cue to stride towards the piano. He sits on the stool that Binta has kept warm and opens his briefcase to remove his sheet music and place it on the stand in front of him. Slicking a hand through his hair, he takes a deep breath and places his fingers on the keys.

It’s late into the night before Levi can finally rest his aching hands. The last customers leave the restaurant, the manager bidding farewell as he closes the door behind them. Switching off the lights in the kitchen, he turns to face Levi and smiles.

“You can go home now, my boy, thank you kindly.

The manager, Hugo, is a tall and burly man who Levi always thought resembles a circus strongman from the 1920’s. With dark, greasy hair and a bushy moustache sprouting above his lip, it isn’t hard to see why. He is boisterous and theatrical, which the customers always find incredibly entertaining.

Thanking him quietly, Levi packs up his sheet music and heads out the door after Hugo, switching off the stage lights on his way out. Walking down the alley to his car, he pulls out his phone and dials the house number. The drone continues until he hears his own voicemail telling him to leave a message.

“Kid, it’s me. Pick up the phone and hold it up to your ear.” He waits. “The phone is the thing my voice is coming from.

Rattling, muffles and more indistinguishable noises are heard before a timid voice speaks. “Lee?

“Haraeya! I was just calling to check in–”

“Lee, why are you in this little white box?! Are you trapped?

“No, Haraeya, it’s a phone–”

“I will get you out, Lee!

“Kid, wait–!

The line goes dead.

Levi sighs, rubbing the inner corners of his eyes in frustration. As he starts his engine, a plume of smoke spurts from the exhaust pipe, a bang resonating from within the vehicle. Levi fails to react as he’s used to his piece of shit car and proceeds with the short drive back home.

The moment he steps through the front door, it is instantly apparent that the house is suspiciously quiet. He closes the door behind him and takes a single, wary step forward, the floor creaking beneath his heeled sole. As he further approaches the living room, a faint sobbing begins to become audible.

“Kid?

Cushions are dishevelled and splayed across the floor. It almost looks as if claw marks have been raked across what remains of the naked sofa. The coffee table in the centre of the room has been turned over onto its side, the fruit bowl Levi never ate from now fallen too, littering the carpet with brown bananas and soft, powdery apples. The house phone is shattered into multiple pieces and sitting beside it is a distraught angel with his head in his hands.

“Kid?” Levi repeats, approaching him cautiously.

Haraeya’s head shoots up from his hands and he whirls around to face the man. His bloodshot eyes light up as he jumps to his feet and bolts towards Levi, almost knocking him over.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa! What’s going on? Is everything alright?” Levi laughs nervously as Haraeya engulfs him in a hug, his arms wrapped around Levi's waist.

“I thought you were trapped in the white box, Lee!” he cries.

Smiling sympathetically at the boy, Levi shakes his head in mild amusement. “That box is called a phone, kid. You can use it to talk to me. See, I have my own one here with me at all times.” Retrieving his mobile phone from his pocket, Levi wiggles it inches from Haraeya’s fascinated face.

A thought suddenly occurs to Levi. He grabs a notepad and pen from his songwriting drawer and scribbles down his mobile number, Haraeya watching on curiously as he does so. He then jogs upstairs to get the second home phone he has placed next to his bed. Plugging it in place of the original, he looks at Haraeya and points to the phone.

“Do not break this one, Haraeya, I mean it. It’s my only one now and I need it, understand?

Haraeya smiles brightly. “I understand, Lee!

“Good.” Levi returns the smile and holds up the paper he has just written on. “If you ever need to talk to me and I’m not home, just dial this number into the phone and I’ll be there, okay?

“Okay!” Haraeya beams. His face suddenly falls. “Why will you not be home? Will you be at the work?

“Yeah,” Levi nods, “But I’m only at work when it’s dark outside. I’ll be with you all day. You’ll probably be asleep when I’m out.” He pauses. “Which reminds me, I think it’s about time we went to bed, don’t you?

Haraeya’s expression is distant, confused even, but he nods enthusiastically nonetheless.

Levi heads from room to room, switching off all the lights. He approaches the doorway of the living room and stares in exasperation at the mess Haraeya has caused. Realising he simply does not have the energy to deal with it right now, he decides to clean it up in the morning.

He goes upstairs to find the angel already there, sitting on his bed and continuously flicking the bedside lamp on and off, on and off. He smiles to himself as he enters the bathroom.

Toothpaste foam surrounds his mouth when Levi looks up into the mirror in front of him to see Haraeya’s reflection watching him from the doorway. A normal person, when realising they’ve been caught staring at someone, would hastily avert their gaze and faux nonchalant innocence.

Haraeya, however, is the furthest thing from normal Levi has ever known. They meet eyes in the mirror’s reflection and the angel holds his arm above his head, waving frantically at Levi with excitement. Levi has to bite his lower lip to contain his laughter.

“Everything okay, kid?” he asks with amusement.

“I am behind you but you can still see me! Hello, Lee! You can see me, yes? Can you see me waving?

Levi spits toothpaste into the sink. “Mirrors aren’t a thing in Heaven then, I’m guessing.” Placing his toothbrush down, he turns around to exit the room. He jumps when he almost walks straight into Haraeya, who is suddenly a lot closer than he was mere seconds ago. “Christ, kid, don’t do that!” he exclaims, clutching his heart dramatically.

“I am sorry, Lee, I did not mean to scare you,” Haraeya says somberly.

They stare at each other in silence for a few heartbeats before Haraeya’s hand tentatively reaches out towards Levi's face. Levi is confused but does not flinch, nor does he push him away. The angel’s eyes flick down to watch his lips and the man’s stomach churns. Haraeya brushes his forefinger across the corner of Levi's mouth and retracts his hand.

“What is this, Lee?” he asks, toothpaste foam sitting on the end of his finger.

Levi lets out a sigh of relief. “It’s toothpaste. It keeps my teeth clean.

“Do all humans do toothpaste?” Haraeya asks, his head cocking to one side. The bathroom light above him casts an orange shine onto his brunet ringlets.

“Most of them.

“That is silly!” the angel laughs, “Why do teeth need to keeps clean?

“So they don’t turn black and fall out,” Levi smirks.

Haraeya’s beryl eyes flicker down to look at the tiled floor. “Like my wings.

Smirk faltering, Levi exhales slowly and leans back onto the sink behind him. “We’ll get your wings back, kid. Pinky promise.” He holds out his little finger.

The angel stares at it blankly. “What is pinky promise?

“It’s where you link fingers – like this.” He locks his pinky around Haraeya’s. “And you make a promise. You know what a promise is?

Haraeya nods enthusiastically, curls bouncing.

“But it's better than a promise, because a pinky promise comes from the heart.

“From the heart,” Haraeya echoes, placing his flat palm over Levi's chest. “You will help me get my wings back, Lee?

“Of course.

“Pinky promise?

Levi smiles, intertwining his little finger with Haraeya’s once more. “Pinky promise.

After finding a spare toothbrush stashed away in a drawer, Haraeya brushes his teeth for the first time in his life. He holds it with two hands and cleans his incisors in an awkward zig-zagging motion.

“Why don’t angels clean their teeth?” Levi asks, retrieving the bandage reel from the cupboard.

“Angels do not deteriorate like humans,” Haraeya answers, dribbling toothpaste down his chin, “Our teeth do not go rotten, we do not get sick or hungry, we do not die.

“Must be nice,” Levi says, “Not having to worry about death or anything. I’d give my life for immortality.

His joke is lost on Haraeya, who continues cluelessly. “When angels are banished from Heaven, we are stripped of our immortality as punishment.

“So, you’re mortal now?” Levi looks up from folding the bandage into a square.

Haraeya mimics the man from earlier and spits into the sink. “Yes, I think so, Lee. I thought that maybe what I had been told in Heaven was wrong and I was still immortal. But the longer I am here, I am starting to see that they were right. My powers are fading and my body is dying just like a human body.

Suddenly, a sickening thought hits Levi and his heart drops with a nauseating thump. “You told me earlier that you don’t know how old you are.

“Yes, you are correct! I do not know how old I am, Lee.

“You realise humans only live to be like eighty, right? Maybe ninety, a hundred if they’re proper lucky.

“Humans have such little time,” the angel says sadly, more-so to himself.

“So, how long…do you have left?” Levi asks quietly.

This comment does not seem to faze Haraeya in the slightest. He wipes his mouth clean and Levi helps him take his lilac sweater off, followed by his white shirt.

“I do not know, Lee. Angels have not been around to see when the Fallen die.

Silence settles over the room for a few moments as Levi peels the bandage from the angel’s back and discards it in the bin. The huge, upside down ‘V’ that stretches from his shoulder blades to his lower back is still clearly evident, but the skin already looks less irritated and the scabs are already beginning to fade.

“Is there an afterlife?” Levi hears himself asking as he sticks the clean bandage onto Haraeya’s back with medical tape.

“I do not understand.” Levi can see the boy’s furrowed brow in the mirror.

“When we die, is that it? Are we just worm food? Or is there…more, you know?

“When humans die, their energy is stored into the ground from which it came. This energy creates new life.

The man’s hand freezes against Haraeya’s back. “You’ve lost me, kid.

“Energy does not die, Lee, it just passes from one life to the next.

“Oh, you mean like reincarnation?” Levi suddenly realises as they exit the bathroom together.

“I do not know that word, Lee.

The concept of pyjamas is a confusing one for Haraeya to grasp. He stares at the clothes Levi is offering him in his outstretched hand as if they’re a growling animal.

“Night clothes?

“Yeah, you wear them to go to sleep, init.” Before he can reject them, Levi throws them into the boy’s lap. “Put them on while I go fix up your bed.

“Humans are so interesting,” Haraeya mutters as Levi finds a spare duvet cover and heads into the room next to his. After the gruelling task of covering the duvet and pillows with fresh sheets, Levi calls the boy into the room. As Haraeya slumps through the doorway, his lack of energy makes it palpable to Levi that he is drained. Nevertheless, the angel retains his sunshine smile and, clad in his blue polka dot pyjamas, saunters up to the man. Levi removes the little pink bow that, although almost completely submerged in the boy’s wild mass of curls, still remains clipped into his hair. When Haraeya sees the man pocketing the accessory, he frowns.

“Why can I not wear my hair-pretty to do sleep? Is that another human rule?

The corner of Levi's mouth lifts into a half smile. “Nah, but it’ll just annoy you. The point of sleeping is to be as comfy as possible, init.” He lifts the corner of the duvet and motions with his hand. “Go on, climb in.

The angel complies, sitting up with a pillow hugged against his chest.

“No, put the pillow back,” Levi sighs, “Now lie back so your head’s on it. Then you close your eyes and go to sleep.

“This bed is squishy, Lee,” the boy smiles sleepily as Levi tucks him in so the duvet is pulled up to his chin, “It is like Heaven when I would lie on the clouds. Except I am not falling through the bed and it is not wet!

“Mm, if it was, I doubt it’d be rain,” Levi smirks, but then a thought strikes him and his expression is quick to drop. “Wait, did you piss and shit in Heaven?

“What is pissunship, Lee?” Haraeya frowns, letting out a yawn that makes him resemble a tired kitten.

The man snorts, sitting at the foot of the bed. “Forget it. That will be super fun to teach you.

Haraeya’s eyes light up in realisation.“Oh, was that sarcasm, Lee?

“Course it was sarcasm, you dweeb. It’s gonna be a nightmare.” A long moment of silence is shared between them. Not necessarily an awkward one, more like they are both too deep in their own thoughts to convert them to words. The only sound to be heard is the occasional car driving past outside or the wind rustling the leaves of a nearby tree. After a while, Levi's voice breaks the silence. “I reckon I’d like to come back as a hermit crab.

Haraeya opens his eyes and watches Levi curiously. “I do not understand.

“Reincarnation,” Levi clarifies, “When I die, I wanna come back as a hermit crab. Imagine being able to move into a new house for free whenever you want. No mortgage or rent or nothing. I dunno, just seems pretty empowering, init.

Haraeya continues to gaze at the man, looking hopelessly lost at whatever the hell he’s talking about, but seems absolutely fascinated regardless. Smiling lazily, his eyes drift shut again. “Is this sleep, Lee? Am I doing sleeping right?

Smiling to himself, Levi stands up, the springs squeaking under him as he does so. “You can’t talk while you’re sleeping, kid. You gotta just lay there and think about nothing and it’ll happen soon. I’ll leave you alone now, yeah? I’ll just be in the room next door.

Haraeya sighs contently.

Hovering in the doorframe, Levi switches off the light. “Night, kid. Don’t let the bedbugs bite.

The angel’s eyes shoot open. “Bedbugs?!

The man chuckles to himself. “It’s just a saying. You’re fine.

“Humans are so…” the boy yawns, “…fascinating. And weird.

“Tell me about it.

“I am telling you about it, Lee.

Before Levi can even come up with a response, light snores are already heard from within the darkness of the room. Laughing softly, Levi enters his own bedroom. “Didn’t take long,” he mutters to himself.

Warmth. The first thing Levi notices is the warmth. Still only verging on the cusp of consciousness, he doesn’t question it and instead revels in it. It feels good, so he smiles to himself and sighs lightly. Only when the warmth moves to grasp his thumb do his eyes shoot open and he springs from the mattress. He glares at the angel who sheepishly watches him from beneath the duvet.

“What the fuck do you think you’re playing at?!” he yells, rubbing his raw eyes with his balled-up fists to try and convince himself that maybe he’s seeing things.

“I…I ended the sleep and I got scared and I wanted to be with Lee,” Haraeya says timidly, crawling out from under the cover.

The man rakes a hand through his dishevelled hair. “You can’t just…sneak into my bed like that, Haraeya, that’s creepy as hell!

The boy’s eyebrows scrunch in confusion. “Why?

“Because…because it’s weird, init! Cuddling someone in bed is like…intimate, you know?” Levi's skin is itchy and he desperately tries to calm the panicked hysteria that’s brewing inside him. He knows it isn’t Haraeya’s fault, but he feels as if maybe he’s bitten off way more than he can chew with unquestionably agreeing to care for this completely clueless little angel.

“I am sorry, Lee, but I do not know. What is intimate?” Haraeya’s huge eyes look almost haunting in the darkness as he stares at the man.

“It’s like…boyfriends and girlfriends share beds. Or husbands and wives, you know? Usually people that are like, you know, in love,” the man explains, agitated, “People that are dating.

“Humans are so weird,” Haraeya giggles, “Why are you scared of touching?

“We’re not, just–! Ugh, get to bed, kid, it’s too early for conversations like this,” Levi sighs, leading Haraeya to the spare room. Tucking him in once more, Levi gets up to leave, but is stopped in his tracks when a hand grabs his wrist.

“Lee, what is boyfriends and girlfriends?” Haraeya asks, gazing at the man inquisitively.

Tipping his head back, the man groans. He just wants to go back to sleep. “When two people are in love, they date. They’d do anything for each other, hell, they’d die for each other, init,” he pauses, “Or at least it’s like that in movies and books and shit. Really it’s more like having a friend you can shag.

“That sounds very beautiful, Lee. I would like to have Lee as my boyfriend.” Haraeya watches the man from his duvet cocoon with utter fondness.

Rolling his eyes, Levi stands up and retreats back to his own room. “In your dreams, kid.

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