Since Blake wanted to learn offensive fighting, he was taken to another department at the gym. When they led him away, he turned back and gave me a panicked look, like a scared boy leaving his parents to go to his first day at school. But I was caught up in my own worries now that I found myself alone with the godly manifestation that was Jason. I walked slightly behind him, taking full advantage of the sight of his broad back.

He was wearing a beige tank top and white football shorts. For a moment I was mesmerised by all the skin showing; glowing golden skin, a bit freckled by the sun, stretched taut over the muscles and dusted with golden hairs.

His back was in a league of its own. The waist and back formed a V-shape, and he was so muscular and firm that I couldn’t stop staring at the way they moved. His shoulders were impressively wide, the muscle curving beautifully at the end where they met his biceps.

Suddenly he stopped, and I was so caught up in observing him that I didn’t brake fast enough and walked smack into his back.

Heat blasted me in the face.

Instead of leaning into him like I wanted to, I jerked back, cheeks flaming. ‘Sorry! Sorry!’ I squeaked, horrified that he would throw a fit or something over my invasion of his personal space. But he only turned around with an amused expression, eyeing my flustered state.

‘You sound like you’ve run me over with your car instead of with your body.’

I flushed even deeper, mortified. Was he trying to imply that I was fat somehow? Because if he were, he had every right to.

‘You felt the force of my body like a car?’ was all I could think to say, words all jumbled. ‘Ouch.’

He stared at me, surprised by my nonchalant response. Then he laughed, the sound so musical that I felt myself tilting my head a bit to aim my ear at him.

‘I’ve felt the force of a car before, and you don’t come close it.’

I was stunned, but he didn’t elaborate. Instead he turned around and stepped into a room that looked like a typical gym. White walls, grey floor, machines, and weights. I groaned.

‘This is where you start today,’ he announced pleasantly. ‘The very first thing you’re going to work on is your stamina. After that, we’ll start working on your muscle. Simultaneously, you’ll get to learn some self-defence moves. But the first thing to be good at in self-defence is taking flight; that is, running like hell. And you need to be able to run fast, and far. So today you will meet someone, or rather something that will become your best friend in the following weeks: the treadmill. Feel free to name her or him if you want.’ He finished with a wink.

‘I’m going to name him Torture,’ I muttered, walking unwillingly toward one at the far-left corner, as far away from the other runners as possible.

I got up on the treadmill, Jason standing at my side. For a moment I was shocked to be the one looking down at him. When he looked down on people he seemed so unreachable and menacing. But as he looked up at me I couldn’t help but find him adorable. I swallowed my admiration for him and waited for him to speak.

‘Okay, first of all, have you gone for a jog or run before?’

‘Both.’

‘Right, so it’s not entirely new to you. The last time you jogged, how far did you jog and at what speed?’

I could barely remember the last time I had jogged. I decided to go with the shittiest jog I’d gone on so he wouldn’t have high expectations.

‘Um, well, last time I did a twenty-minute run and I usually manage one kilometre in eight minutes or so.’

Jason did the math in his head and then nodded brusquely. ‘We’ll start with that, and you’ll gradually improve.’

He pressed a bunch of buttons on the touchscreen of the treadmill, and the black band started to move, forcing me into a walk that gradually got faster and faster until I was jogging slowly. Jason took a step back from me, observing quietly.

‘I’ll watch for a few minutes to see how you jog and how you breathe. Then I’ll leave you to it.’

At first it went well. I breathed through my nose, my face was neutral, and my body moved smoothly. I was hoping Jason would leave before that peaceful state succumbed to desperation, but he stayed to witness that too. My breath got shallow and uneven, and my forehead creased with exertion. I felt blood rushing up and into my face, staining me an unattractive red. My legs started to ache slightly, and it became more of an effort to swing my arms supportively.

After what felt like an hour, Jason finally stirred. He pointed on the screen on the headboard. ‘That shows you the time, your heartbeat, your speed, and your distance. Keep an eye on that. When you’ve done twenty minutes, press this button,’ he pointed again,’ and the treadmill will slow so you can warm down. I’m going to check on Blake.’ With that he turned and was gone.

That left me to battle with my growing exhaustion on my own. But I was not entirely unused to the different stages of jogging. At first it went smoothly, then it got hard, and then you reached a continuum, a steady rhythm that lasted until your energy started to burn out, until you couldn’t jog anymore. As unfit as I was, I reached that exhaustive state the last three minutes, and then struggle to finish my twenty minutes. But I did manage, and triumphantly, I pressed the button that slowed the treadmill until I was walking fast instead and reached a stop.

Jason’s presence filled the room again, and he sauntered over to me, glancing at the headboard screen. He nodded.

‘Well done. Twenty minutes reached, and you managed 2.8 km, which means you ran one kilometre in seven minutes. Your next goal will be to manage that in five minutes. That sound good?’

‘Yep,’ I answered a little breathlessly, clambering down from the treadmill.

‘Do you feel like you can keep going today?’

I wanted to say no, but found myself saying “yes.”

‘Alright.’ He smiled down at me. ‘Now for the fun stuff.’

He took me to a room with carpets on the gleaming floor and mirrors all around. Blake was already there, practising some moves on a punching bag.

‘How’s it going?’ I called out to him. Blake flashed me a look that said, “not good”. I glanced up at Jason, who was guiding me toward a carpet in the opposite corner of the room.

‘Your friend is going to need more strength training before he learns anything else,’ he said by way of conversation, peering at Blake’s limp arms across the room. ‘So he’ll be joining you in the gym next time.’

I only nodded, since I wasn’t too concerned with Blake’s routine. I had my own to worry about. ‘There’s no official classes today, but I thought I’d have a private lesson with you as well. Stand here.’ He pointed, so I stepped in front of him. ‘The first thing you want to do with self-defence training is learn how to stand your ground, how to occupy space.’

‘How to occupy space?’ I echoed, stunned.

‘Yes.’ Jason crossed his arms over his chest, so the muscle bulged. ‘It’s usually the first thing we want to impress on women. That you shouldn’t cower, or back down, or hesitate. Sure, in most scenarios it’s better to run than fight, but if you are in a situation where you have to…’

‘So you want me to do…what?’ I asked, confused.

‘I want you to walk toward me without yielding when I don’t move.’

I hitched an eyebrow at him. ‘You want me to walk into you? That’s it?’

‘Yep,’ he said, a crooked smile playing on his lips. ‘You already have some experience with it from earlier,’ he teased, ‘so you might as well try again.’

I didn’t know what to say. Knowing that it would be bad behaviour to complain, I took a calming breath and backed up. Then I walked toward him. I felt it then, that instinct to step aside, to give way, to shrink and make space for someone who was bigger and stronger. I bit back on the urge and continued onward, but found that I’d slowed my pace, so that when I walked into Jason, our shoulders only bumped against each other.

‘Well, for a first try it was half-decent,’ he commented, grinning at my discomfort. ‘You did way better earlier.’

‘Yes, well, I ran into your back then, not your front,’ I retorted.

‘So pretend it’s my back again,’ he offered with a wink.

I sighed and walked back. When I advanced on him again, I tried to look straight ahead, pretending that he wasn’t there. There was more pain when we collided this time, though Jason still hadn’t moved an inch.

‘Better,’ he said. ‘But I know you’re stronger than that.’

‘Fine,’ I grumbled. The next time it was easier. I felt a little annoyed, and I suspected Jason had encouraged that emotion in me on purpose. I walked brusquely, jamming my shoulder into his side on purpose. Jason didn’t exactly fall away from the impact, but he took a slight step aside, rubbing his ribs with a smile on his face.

‘See? That wasn’t so hard.’ He eyed where I was rubbing my own shoulder. ‘Smarts a little, but it won’t last.’

I nodded, knowing he was right. We practiced the taking-space thing a bit more, until I had walked into him so many times I thought my shoulder might dislocate from the repeated impact. At the back of my mind, a voice was screaming over the fact that I was touching him. Repeatedly. And not just anywhere. I was smacking right into his body, over and over, feeling the rush of heat from him every time. It was exhilarating.

When Jason decreed that the lesson had been learnt, he called to Blake that he could stop his feeble attempts at punching the bag. Blake worked the boxing gloves off his hands and hung them back on the hook on the wall. Then he sauntered over to us, eyeing my lack of a sweaty and red face with some asperity. ‘Looks like one of us had an easy start,’ he grumbled.

‘One of us shouldn’t have lied about our fitness level,’ Jason pointed out with an arched brow. Blake dropped his gaze and stared at his feet. ‘Anyway,’ Jason continued, turning to me, ‘you both did well today. Though I think we’ll hold back a little on the proper moves until you’ve hardened your bodies a bit more.’

I nodded, agreeing with his assessment. If I were to keep colliding into his hard body, I’d like to have some cushioning muscles too. We left the room with the mirrors, which Jason locked behind us, and walked back toward the main part of the gym.

‘Now you’re going to stretch,’ Jason announced, leading us into a darkened room with cosy lights, pillows and carpets littering the floor. It was empty, so Jason emphasised which muscles to stretch, then left us to it. I felt a small pang when he left the room, but having Blake for company dampened the feeling of solitude.

‘Well?’ I asked him, stretching one leg forward and touching my toes. ‘What did you think?’

‘I’m trying to hate him,’ Blake admitted bluntly, reaching his arm across his chest and grasping it with the other. ‘But I can’t seem to manage it.’

‘Yeah, he really is nice,’ I said, hoping there was no dreamy quality to my voice. I switched leg and sighed as the tension eased out of my muscle. ‘He seems to know what he’s doing.’

‘You’re right,’ Blake said, now twisting his arm behind his back. ‘I’ve no idea how I’m supposed to compete against him, but having him for a teacher feels promising.’

I eyed his long body while I stretched my hamstrings. ‘I really can’t imagine you that buff,’ I admitted. ‘But you’ve got good bone structure, so you can definitely manage lean and fit.’

Blake cast his eyes aside, embarrassed by my frank perusal of him. ‘Time will tell,’ was all he said.

We focused more deeply on the stretching. I wondered whether I should reveal the fact that I was hopelessly interested in Jason as well. I didn’t know how relevant it was to Blake. It wasn’t like I was competition for Jasmine, not at all. Besides, the likelihood of me ever getting Jason was less than nil. Telling Blake I liked Jason was pointless and embarrassing, so I decided to keep the information secret for the time being. For now, all he knew was that I was into a person that was much hotter than me, and that was enough.

Jason was nowhere to be found when we emerged from the stretching room, so we headed back to the changing rooms and got our bags. I lingered in the reception area for a while, hoping to see him, but Blake was looking antsy to leave, so I gave in and walked ahead of him toward the car.

Back at the hotel, Blake opened the door and started to leave.

Without thinking, I found myself asking, ‘Do you want to chill by the beach?’ It was only four o’clock. Dinner wouldn’t be served yet.

Blake glanced at his phone to check the time. ‘Um. Sure.’

We went to our respective rooms and changed into our bathing suits. I stowed my book into the bag, figuring Blake would want to read as well. When I met him by the pool, he seemed to be looking surreptitiously around us, like he expected someone to materialise at any moment. Jas, I realised. We spotted her rushing into the restaurant, in the middle of preparing the tables for the dinner buffet. I waited for Blake to say something, maybe express an interest in meeting her, but he only blinked and turned around. We trotted down to the beach in our sandals. Blake headed for the sunbeds at the far left, hidden behind some bushes for privacy, and we laid out our towels on the hot, plastic mattresses, our feet already burning from the scalding sand. Even this late, the sun was scorching.

Safely seated under the umbrella, Blake and I produced our books and started reading. It felt kind of strange hanging out with someone that way. Blake and I still didn’t really know each other, and he was so quiet, so introspective, that I found it was hard to just launch into a conversation with him. I wanted to ask about him, naturally curious about where he was from, what he was doing here, but felt like I was invading his privacy. So I buried my nose in the Silmarillion, trying to focus on the hundreds of new names being introduced.

After a few minutes Blake’s voice broke my immersion. ‘You’re reading the Silmarillion?’ he asked, clearly surprised.

I closed the book on my finger, eyeing the cover. ‘Trying to,’ I admitted. ‘It’s pretty heavy.’

‘Tell me about it,’ he agreed, and our eyes locked in understanding. He was the one to break eye contact.

‘What are you reading?’ I asked, lowering my book to peer over the edge.

He held his book up for me to see. ‘The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy,’ I read aloud. ‘Oh, I have that one,’ I realised. ‘Is it good?’

‘A bit confusing in the beginning, but it’s picking up.’

I nodded. ‘I didn’t bring it with me, though I’ll have to read it someday.’

‘You can borrow it when I’m done.’

‘Oh, thanks.’

‘No problem.’

And with that, we both turned to our books again. After a while I found my mind was too scattered to focus, so I laid down the book and slid my legs off the bed.

‘Where are you going?’ Blake asked.

‘I’m going for a swim,’ I said, hitching up the bikini strap where it had fallen down my shoulder. ‘Want to come?’

He folded the edge of his page. ‘Sure.’

Blake followed me, ignoring the way people ogled his long and pale body. He quickly stepped into the water and disappeared beneath the surface once it was deep enough. He emerged with his black hair spiky and dripping, though he neither shook himself nor ran a hand through it, letting the spikes trail wetly down his forehead. It made him look a little like a drenched dog. We didn’t swim far, nor fast, too exhausted from our work out. We mostly floated in the water, watching the people at the beach from afar.

‘When does Jasmine’s shift end?’ he asked as I floated on my back.

‘She should have finished by now,’ I said. ‘She gets off at five.’

‘Does she usually come to the beach afterward?’

‘Not on a Friday,’ I said. ‘She told me she was invited to a dinner with her friends tonight. Wine tasting, or whatever it was.’

‘Ah.’ He sounded a little disappointed, and I echoed the sentiment. The weekend was coming up, which meant I probably wouldn’t get to see Jason in two whole days. Before now, it had seemed preposterous to suffer someone’s absence this much, especially someone I didn’t really know. Jason was my instructor and nothing else—he’d made that abundantly clear with the way he always disappeared without a goodbye. But I still found my spirits dropping a little. I was sure I’d dream of him tonight.

When six o’clock rolled around, Blake and I headed back to the hotel to take a quick shower and get dressed. I saw him in the restaurant later, and felt only a small pang of shyness before swallowing it and taking a seat by his table. We ate mostly in silence, any words shared between us only on the quality of the food. It was only after I’d had my second serving of creamy herb chicken and rice that it occurred to me that I shouldn’t be eating this much. I was supposed to lose weight, after all, and exercise wouldn’t be enough in that regard. I sighed, feeling sort of defeated. Since I’d already ruined what progress I’d made with the exercise today, I also helped myself to a full-laden plate of dessert, strawberry jelly and cheesecake. Unlike me, Blake ate very little, despite how much bigger he was and how much heavier his exercise had been. He munched on some coffee biscuits, his main course half-finished. I wanted to remind him to eat more, but felt like it wasn’t my place to speak about food levels.

While I brooded, my uncle came over and inquired about the quality of the food. I assumed him that it was delicious, as always, and he said hi to Blake as if he knew him, asking him how he was. I was just going to ask how they knew each other when another guest called him over, and my uncle left our table. He usually did those rounds at dinnertime, speaking to his regulars, his plump cocker spaniel trailing behind. Sandra, his wife, was seated with a group of older ladies chattering loudly amongst themselves.

I tried to think of something to talk about with Blake, but his face looked closed-off, as per usual, so I swallowed the attempts and folded my napkin over the table. ‘I think I’ll head back to my room,’ I said. It was almost nine p.m. after all.

He nodded. ‘Yeah, me too.’ He swallowed, looking like he wanted to say something else. I had to remind myself that Blake was probably shy and introverted. Just because he didn’t talk much didn’t mean he didn’t enjoy my company.

‘Yes…?’ I asked, searching his eyes, trying to encourage him to speak.

He rubbed his temple. ‘Um, nothing. I guess I’ll see you tomorrow.’ His chair scraped loudly against the floor as he stood, and I did the same, swallowing my sigh of frustration.

‘See you around,’ I called, before turning my back on him and returning to my room.

I changed into pyjamas, brushed my teeth, and plopped into bed, reaching for my laptop by the bedside table. I launched Messenger and chatted a little with my friends back in Sweden, asking what they were getting up to. I tried to pick up my book again, but couldn’t focus, so instead I opened Netflix and searched for a movie to watch. I couldn’t decide on any, so I finally settled on an episode of Parks and Recreation, laughing myself silly. After about an hour my eyelids began to droop, so I closed the laptop and fell asleep.