“Ugh! Alex! You insufferable asshole!”
I hear a laugh from the room next door where the stone that broke my vase came from. I pick up the stone and see that it has red and yellow paint on it with “Today is your day” text written on top. I immediately remember where I’ve seen this before.
I shake my head in disbelief.
I go to my window and hurl the stone back to his room hoping I hit something important, “Happy friendship day, motherfu—“
“Allie!”
I whip my head around to the sound of my Mom’s voice the same time I hear Alex’s “ouch!” from the other side of my window.
I press my lips together to stop myself from grinning, “Hi Mom! Good morning!”
She glances to my open bedroom window and sighs, “Really? This early?”
I pout, “It’s Alex. He threw a rock in my room and broke my vase.”
I point to the broken vase on the floor. I’m glad he didn’t hit the glass on my dresser or else I would have been really pissed.
Mom sighs again – that’s all she can do really since she brought this upon herself. She never thought her best friend’s only son would be her only daughter’s archenemy.
She shakes her head, “You guys are getting too old for these pranks. I swear one day you’re going to hurt each other much more than you originally intended.”
I try not to roll my eyes.
Mom is being dramatic.
Alex and I have been pranking each other for as long as I can remember. He started with gum in my hair and so I retaliated with super glue to his baseball cap. I had a bad haircut and he had to shave his hair off. He tits I tat, and it’s been that way ever since.
She nods, “Just come down for breakfast.”
Mom leaves and I face the window again to see Alex glaring at me from his bedroom window. It’s like our parents want us to hate each other more when they have our windows facing each other. 
I have had this God-awful view of Alex’s face in the morning for eighteen years.
He sneers, “You hit my leg. I’m going to get you for that.”
I smile sweetly at him.
“You threw my friendship stone at me, I made that with love at camp, or do you not remember?”
He points to a scar on his head, “You threw that stone at my head. I had four stitches.”
We were eight and we were supposed to make friendship memorabilia for our last project at camp. Alex made me a bracelet the day before and I thought it was sweet so I put it on. Little did I know that he dipped one of the gems in sugar and I had ants crawling up my arm when I woke up. I’m not just talking about regular ants, those motherfuckers were huge. I still have scars from where I scratched my arm raw.
So naturally, I had to give Alex a scar for the scar he gave me. I threw the stone at him the next morning and though I didn’t aim for his head, it’s where it landed.
I chuckle, “It’s not my fault you’ve got slow reflexes.”
I close my bedroom window with Alex shouting profanities at me. I grin.
I’m not even mad while I was cleaning up the broken glasses where the rock hit my vase. Getting into Alex’s nerves always put me in a good mood.
I take a quick shower before going downstairs.
I sit on the counter beside Dad, happily humming a tune.
Dad looks at me with a raised brow, “You seem happy today.”
I smile at him, “Just a good morning.”
He chuckles, “It’s not about the crash I heard earlier?” 
I wave a hand at him, “Just a little pest, Dad. Nothing I can’t handle.”
Dad laughs as he talks to Mom, “Did you have any idea this was going to happen? You and Jane practically wanted these two to be siblings.”
Alex as my brother? Barf.
Mom chuckles as she puts pancakes on my plate, “I’m an only child but I think this is how siblings act around each other, right Allie?”
I roll my eyes, “Mom, please don’t.”
She continues despite my protest, “Jane and I have been best friends since I can remember; I thought you and Alex would at least be friends.”
I put a finger up, “I have friends, Mom. Alex is just an annoying neighbor.”
She sighs, “We got in you into the same school, same school bus, since Alex got his car and started driving he gives you a ride to school – “
“Begrudgingly,” I murmur.
She smiles at me, “The least you can do is be nice.”
The fork clanks on the plate as I set it down, “Why don’t you tell him that, Mom huh? I didn’t start this – let’s be clear on that.”
Dad snickers, “And you sure as hell don’t want to end it.”
I look at Dad, “Hell yeah. He pushes me; I push back. It’s as simple as that.”
Mom rolls her eyes and goes back to making pancakes.
Dad nudges my elbow, “That’s my girl.”
Mom chides, “Don’t encourage her.”

#

Despite not getting along with my jackass of a neighbor, we have had our agreements. I know he detests the fact that he has to give me a ride every morning and after school, so we have agreed that his car is Switzerland.
When we’re in his car we act like regular human beings. We ceasefire.
He loves his car as much as he loves himself. As tempting as it is to prank him in his car, we have agreed early on in this hate-hate relationship that the car is off-limits. Actually, it’s nice to have some peace where you know you’re not going to get pied on the face or stuck on a chair.
Besides, I’m saving it for the big one. I’m not naïve, I know that someday things might get out of hand and he might prank me in the most offensive way he can. So, I’ll hit him where it hurts. 
When that time comes, the car will pay, that’s worse than kneeing him in the nuts I assume.
I walk out of the house and Mom follows me.
She waits by the porch and in true Alex fashion; he rolls down his window and yells, “Good morning, Val.”
Mom smiles sweetly at him, “Good morning, Alex. How’s your leg?”
Alex’s smile falters a little bit as he glares at me. He looks back at my Mom and smiles, “All good. Not even a scratch. Allie’s a bad shot.”
I murmur, “The scar on your forehead says otherwise.” 
Mom yells, “Bye sweetie. Have a good day at school.”
I get in Alex’s car and I wave at Mom while I put on my seatbelt.
Alex waits for me to buckle myself in before speeding off.
“Good morning, Alessandra.”
“Good morning, Alexander.”
He asks, “So, what was on the menu this morning?”
I sigh, “Pancakes and a side of ‘why aren’t you and Alex friends’?”
He chuckles, “Same, but Mom made waffles.”
This is another thing we agree on, our Moms are desperate for us to be friends, and I guess that’s another reason why we’re not. They put so much pressure on us getting along, that we rather resent each other because of it. 
Imagine having to share almost everything with another person for years and you’re not even related. It’s like having a twin you really don’t like.
Mom always says we should treat each other like siblings, but we are polar opposites. Also, our looks couldn’t even be more different, since we both take after our Moms. Alex is tall with wavy brown hair and blue eyes, while I’m a bit shorter than him, blonde with green eyes.
We also shared birthday parties! I hated sharing a party with a boy. It was noisy and just well, for boys.
Our birthdays are days apart, Alex is born September 15th and me on the 17th, and our Moms thought it would be a good idea to celebrate together for years. It was cute and all when we were babies, but the minute I knew I wanted Barbie parties, I hated sharing with him.
Half of the yard decorated in blue, half in pink. I hated those parties.
So those are some of the things that we agree on, we agree that we’re not going to be friends, and we agree that our Moms try too hard, and that ultimately it’s their fault why we are the way we are.
Alex drives in silence and stops when we’re a block away from school. He looks around before parking the car.
I nod, “Thanks for the ride.”
I get out of the car and close the door. I walk the rest of the way to school.
We also agree that to ensure that people don’t think of us as friends; we would keep our car rides a secret. Lest people assume we are getting along.
This is why we get to school early and why we leave the school late.
I finally arrive at school and see Alex hanging out with his jock friends. I hate this about him too, because I know that Alex is not an idiot, not like his friends. But he likes to hang out with them because they’re funny – or so he says. Well, it’s not my problem if he wants to be treated like a dumb jock.
I roll my eyes and keep walking.
I see my best friend Nic and I give her a small wave.
When I get there Nic nods to the direction of Alex, “That jerk’s looking at you again.”
I look over at Alex and he’s smirking. I give him the finger and he laughs.
Nic whispers, “I swear he’s got a crush on you. He keeps trying to get your attention.”
I roll my eyes, “Just ignore him, Nic. I do.”