I decided to walk my way home.

I told my friend to take the money and deliver it to my front door if ever I won. I doubt. Because people would rather lose friends than money. And that's a fact.

While walking my way home, I looked around and saw a street performer beside the bakery shop. I'm surprised he was allowed there. Maybe he was a close family member doing for extra living. I looked straight and focused on the street.

It's ridiculous what people can do for money. They didn't know the money are meant to be spent. Not to be worshipped.

A sudden thought occurred to me. I don't want to be a rich person. I don't want to have so much money that I'd find myself spend it to nonsense, useless things. I don't want to see people begging for the money I worked hard for. But then it occurred to me, I am wasting the money I didn't work hard for, too.

I hate this. I hate the logic of life so much. So much irony and so much trickery. I don't want to be poor, but I also don't want to be rich. But I want to spend money and have fun. I want to find the real purpose of life. I want to see what Happiness is like without the input of this world's lies and selfish games. I also don't want to fall in Love, and I know that Love costs you a lot. You go on a date, you pay for the gas and food. You also pay for gifts and flowers. But, have we ever thought of giving someone a real plant in a vase, rather than picking it up and let it sit on someone's desk and let it die and wither? Is that Love? Because I thought Love is about growing up. Love is not about wilting and dying. Love is beautiful. More beautiful than sunsets, fields of roses, and salty seas combined.

Sea.

That word felt peaceful. Peaceful. I want to know what is peace. Is it costly? Like Love? Do I need to set up a proper bedroom, and wait for the rain to come, and brew myself a hot cup of tea, and have a good book before I could call something peaceful? I don't want peace. But, like Love, it's making me curious. I took my phone out and searched for the meaning of peace and Love. I read the definition, and it didn't make sense. Peace is the state where there is no war. And my place is clearly not in vain or conflict. But I don't feel any peace. And Love. Love is deep affection. I don't even know what deep affection feels like.

And so I went to the sea.

As I walked through the sands, my shoes got buried every step I make. And the salty smell of the sea made me feel like I want to sleep without worrying someone might snatch my credit cards and phone. The sea is making me feel... sleepy.

When I am close to the sea, I let myself sit for a while. I took my phone out and opened the camera. The moon was out and very pretty. And so I took a quick shot before putting back my phone inside. I appreciated the silent, lonely sea for a moment before completely lying my back on the cold, damp sand behind me. I examined the stars and saw Aquarius. It's... peace– no, this is not peace. This is science.

I sat up once again, and for a moment, I thought I heard someone. I looked around, and the sea was still the same. Dark, monotonous, and cold. So, I laid flat my back once again.

Then I drifted off to my sleep.