She could finally breath. So to speak. She does feel apprehensive when he’s around. Her anger would flare up and she had to control it down. She doesn’t always feel that way. Only when she mulls over his cheating. Frankly, she could forgive his refusal to communicate. She could forgive his absent support while she recovered from the threatened miscarriage. It was really the cheating that she can’t…

If she wants them to move forward, she’d really have to overcome her own feelings over it. If they get back together, she can’t keep reminding him of it. That could lead to endless… hate? Arguments? She knew it won’t be good. He’d get tired of it quickly, regardless of the fact that he admits it and regrets it. True forgiveness won’t keep reminding you of what you did wrong, like you can’t let go of it. Like you’re still mad about it and you keep making the other person feel bad and sorry. What kind of relationship would that be? That would be unhealthy. Hurtful. Could turn hateful, too. And that’s no way to raise a child together.

She sighed as she opened her laptop. Might start watching anime again and make herself so sick of it. She remembered doing so in college and right now, she doesn’t feel acting like a responsible adult. Josh got everything covered. The house is nice. The maids with her are doing their jobs. Food is prepared on time. Whatever she wants, they provide it to her. She’d be a spoiled brat and spend hours watching damn anime. She’s not feeling up to do anything else at the moment.

Sometimes, she would space out and think about their future. How should it go? How should they move forward?

The very first step, really, requires her forgiveness. A real one. Not a half-hearted one. Not one that would make her heart suspicious of every little thing he might do in the future. She should be able to trust him. Again. Otherwise, it will all come crumbling down so easily and that would be the end.

Her moving out is for herself and for that process to move forward. She did send him a text. She asked him not to show up in the next two weeks. Please, she added. That was hard for him to accept. He grudgingly replied with “Okay.” And then, he quickly asked if it’s alright for his mom or his sister to go and see her.

He let out a sigh of relief when she said yes to that. That makes him believe that she’s not entirely cutting him off.

And so, he informed his mom to visit her anytime this week. He also contacted Jenny. That sister of his has a cheery personality, she may be able to influence Jill’s current demeanor a little.

He informed Jill and stayed quiet after that. He’ll bother his mother and sister after they’ve gone to see Jill.

During the first week, Jill spent every hour of the day watching her old favorite anime shows. It almost made her puke after the fifth day. Aunt Cora asked if her morning sickness returned. Well, it happened in the afternoon… so. After that, she stopped watching them. She’s so done. She has watched enough anime to last a lifetime. She’s not gonna watch them anymore.

When Kate visited, two days later, she brought fruits and some books. Interestingly, the books are about parenting. Kate told her stories of how she and her husband raised their two kids. Her lips twitch whenever Kate mentions something stupid that Josh did as a toddler, a kid, and a teenager.

She knew he’s trouble. She didn’t need more evidence of that. But in a way, the stories made her look forward to becoming a mother. She’ll be getting a daughter, though. She wonders if Josh already knew it’s a girl. She'd mentioned it, right? Never mind. They both don’t have a say on the gender anyway. It just came out as a girl.

Kate was nice, too. She didn’t bring up Josh’s current activities. That would leave her wondering what he’s up to. Did he go back to the office? She’s tempted to ask.

She’s getting her equilibrium right again. Last night, she pretty much chanted the word cheating in her head and managed not to feel angry. Even when she combined it with Josh’s name. Some people do get angry when they hear certain words that trigger the emotion in them. She’d been that way before, so she knows. She had a huge disagreement with a high school classmate, and she ignored him until a few weeks before they graduated. Just hearing his name back then would irritate the hell out of her. The situation with Josh? It’s worse, no?

Right about now, she’s almost done feeling angry at him. Just a little more… she told herself.

Could they do a clean slate? Pretend she’d never met him before? That would be over the top, nah.

When Jenny visited, she took her out of the house and they went shopping. Jill thought the shopping would be for baby stuff, because Jenny’s gonna be an aunt. She and her are not exactly close, so she wasn’t expecting her to buy clothes for her. Maternity dresses, alright. The fabrics are comfortable. In this hot weather, they feel airy and cool. The length was good enough for her. She rolled her eyes at herself in the mirror. You’ll be staying home, not out. There’s no reason for you to worry about rude people.

They had dinner outside, too. It’s been a while since she’d been in a restaurant. She looked around as they waited for the food. When she looked at Jenny, she seemed to have this permanent blush on her cheeks. She just noticed.

“Are you seeing someone?” Jill asked as she sipped water.

Jenny coughed into her glass, almost spilling water on the table. She was just about to take another sip.

“Uh, sort of.”

“I see…” She’s not sure how to continue that conversation. Currently, she’s half-cynic. She doesn’t believe in love. Towards her husband, anyway.

Jenny understands it, too. She talked about her job and the difficulties in the office. Deadlines. Envious people. Mainly, she’s talking about people who are somehow aware of her “secret” relationship with her boss. It wasn’t that bad, but… it’s still against company rules. She would have to go if they get caught.

Overall, Jenny tried to make her smile and laugh during their date. She could say she succeeded, although Jill didn’t talk very much.

Jill’s starting to feel normal again. Or as normal as could be. Thinking about Josh, she’s not that aggravated anymore. Her triggers are no longer triggers. Well, she still shows her disdain but not as pronounced as before. Her lips would simply lift up in a smirk, mocking.

She is now certain that she will give Josh a chance. There’s one last thing she needs to overcome. When she goes back, she really can’t keep reminding him about his cheating. She won’t bring it up. Maybe once a month, at most. And she should do that in a light manner, not spiteful. Something that doesn’t sound serious but would still be taken seriously. Because it’s his last chance. He messes up again and they’re done. Maybe she should put it in writing. Kate’s words came to her. If he messes up, the divorce papers should be signed the same day. No questions asked. No pleading. Just done. With the prenup, she’s not even going to get anything. It shouldn’t be hard on his part. All it affords her is a quick exit, from each other’s life.

A few days later, the second week would be over. Josh was patiently counting the days. He hasn’t gone back to work, but he did visit the company to check on the changes they would have to do to accommodate his father as the acting chief executive. Ryan adapted quickly. He already has half a mind to leave his post, but knew it’s unfair to leave everything to his father. He has his own business to manage.

That night, he has decided to go and visit Jill the next morning. She only asked for two weeks. That means he can see her when that’s over, right? He couldn’t sleep, though. How should he face her? What could they talk about? Well, there’s the baby. He opened his phone to do a bit of research about pregnancy and babies. He can’t sleep anyway.

When he got there, though, her opening words were “Don’t talk to me. Just sit there.”

Well… it stunned him for a few seconds before he complied and walked inside. At least, she didn’t turn him away. She’s allowing him inside the house. He will gladly sit there and bask in her presence. He handed the groceries he brought to Aunt Cora before going into the living room and sitting on the other end of the couch. He didn’t dare sit right next to her. She’s watching food channels. Therese came in with grilled meat, sliced into bite-sizes.

“You also want a plate, sir?”

He nodded his reply, not daring to speak. Therese glanced at the two of them before shrugging and moving away. She’s grilling a lot of meat. Yes, she’s allowed to eat some while cooking. She’d given Aunt Cora a small plate as well. She’s not that fond of meat. Said older people prefer greens. Therese isn’t going to argue.

Jill personally liked the sauce Therese made to accompany the meat. She enjoyed eating. Watching those cooking shows made her hungry and craving for meat. Juicy meat.

Aunt Cora came in with a platter of fruits and set it between them. She always makes sure her diet is balanced. Too much meat? Lemme give you a bunch of fruits and veggies. It’s not really too much when Jill is used to eating that much.

Josh shifted in his seat and turned to look at her. He’s here for her, isn’t he? He checked her appearance, her clothing, her complexion… He’s relieved. It doesn’t look like she’s depressed or something like that. She looks good. Her skin’s still fair. She seems to be eating well.

As for Jill, she would like to take this time to try and not feel angry at him during his entire stay. When she was at his house, there were moments where she would flare up when she sees him. She’s trying to control a particular emotion here.