They were silent for a while. Josh frowned.

“Since when?” He asked, but the mocking look she gave him and the deprecating smile… he knew her answer.

“I’m sorry.” He didn’t think he would be affecting her that much.

Her only response was a sigh as she kept her eyes on the garden again. Her expression hardened. He realized it was a bad idea to bring it up. He stayed silent as well.

He stared at her. He remembers those months they’ve spent before. There were very few days when she’s not typing away on her laptop. Whenever he comes home from work, he would find her spending time in the living room with her laptop. On weekends, she’d be doing it out here near the garden. Sometimes while he works on something, she would continue writing her stories. He’d read some of them.

He smiled as he looked away. It was a mocking smile. When he missed her, didn’t he keep reading what she’d written? There was their love story, too, which he convinced her to write. It has been tagged as “on hold”. He realized now the reason. Would she still continue writing it in the future?

Unfortunately, he’d asked that one aloud. She squinted as she looked at him.

He ran a hand behind his neck as he tried to phrase it carefully.

“The one that tells our story, would you continue writing that?”

She shrugged as she looked away again, “There’s no reason for me to do that right now. A love story ending in divorce, my readers would hate me.”

He frowned at her use of that word, “We’re not getting a divorce.”

“Maybe we should.” She could almost see this conversation turning into a confrontation. She glanced at him and saw his angry expression.

“Look, you’re sorry. I get that. But at the moment I don’t care. It’s not something I could forgive easily. I would appreciate it more if I don’t see you for some time. Out of sight, out of mind. You here only reminds me what an asshole you’ve been.” Her tone was clearly higher, indicating her own anger.

She shook her head, letting out a huge breath before standing up and going back to her room.

Josh leaned back on his seat. He shouldn’t have aggravated her. For a second there, he could almost believe that they were amicable. He just has to rub her off the wrong way. Well, at least he learned what’s on her mind. And a bit of what she’d been through. How much it affected her.

He sighed again. While he’s messing around, she couldn’t even bring herself to do the one thing she loves. She must have been that worried or anxious. She couldn’t contact him. She doesn’t know what’s going on with him. It’s worse than simply losing appetite. She lost her motivation or drive to write. It’s worse than a burnout. Probably close to having depression. How could he bring back the things she loves? There’s also the matter about listening to those Korean songs. No doubt those would also remind her of his infidelity. He decided not to bring those up in a conversation until they’ve patched things up.

In that moment, he reconfirmed his promise. He’d stay with her. Even if she doesn’t want him, he’ll prove it to her that he can change and dedicate the rest of his life for her. He only wants one woman in his life. Other family members don’t count. He won’t give up on her.

If he’s honest, he would tell her that the apartment she has chosen is now prepared and ready to be moved into. Maybe he should have done that. If he did, Jill wouldn’t be there to witness that woman coming to see him and demanding some explanation.

He cursed in his heart, sure that Jill could hear her, too. Her words are ugly. It tells everyone what transpired between the two of them.

He already instructed the security to make her go away. He’s not going to meet her again. If Ryan already sent her the dismissal ending their arrangement, then she should have accepted it. She shouldn’t have come here to stir up a scandal. Every other woman he had an arrangement with knew his rules. No one dared to seek him out like this after it ends. She refused to leave and so everyone could hear her words which are unsavory. She’s practically airing his dirty laundry. Good thing he doesn’t exactly have neighbors. Unless she brought reporters with her, which she didn't.

He called Ryan to fix things for him.

“I don’t care what you do. Make sure she doesn’t come here like this again. She’s making a ruckus and causing me trouble.” Just as he said that over the phone to Ryan, he saw Jill peeking from the third floor.

“I want to move out. Now.” She stated in a very cold tone before disappearing from his sight.

He cursed again, aloud this time. Damn that woman for coming here.

He brought the phone back to his ear. “Threaten her if you need to. I don’t want to see her again. And don’t let her show her face to Jill. I swear if she does that, she’ll find herself living in a dumpster.”

Ryan grunted, “Got it, boss. Which woman was it again?”

Josh couldn’t even tell him her name. “I’ll get the security to send over a photo.”

The following morning, Jill went down with her luggage. His heart sank.

“Just wait for a few hours, I’ll go over and check if things are all fine. Alright?” Though he already knew the place is ready, he still wanted her to stay longer at his place. Even if he’s not there with her. He did go to the refurbished apartment and checked everything. He had CCTVs installed around the house, too. She won’t mind that much, right? It’s for her own safety. He checked the garage. Therese knows how to drive. She can go for whatever they needed in the house. He sighed. Back to the house and help her move out.

The moment he saw her, though, all ready to leave him, it all felt real to him. Suddenly. It’s not exactly sudden, but it hasn’t felt real to him until that moment. She’s really leaving.

Jill was sitting in the living room, watching TV, when he came in. She noticed him the moment he showed up by the door but she didn’t look at him. She was surprised when he suddenly kneeled in front of her.

“What…” She was just about to ask him what’s going on when he suddenly hugged her waist and slumped forward, somehow awkwardly hiding his face from her. When she touched his back, she realized he’s… trembling. Is he crying? That’s hardly believable. She sighed as she laid her hand on his shoulder and shifting in her position. He’s not exactly squashing her stomach, but it’s a little uncomfortable.

When he finally pulled back and looked at her, she could see the heartbreak in his eyes. Is he playing her now? She’d hate him more. He couldn’t possibly be trying to move her with an act, could he?

He took a deep breath before asking her, “This isn’t the moment I’m going to lose you, is it? You’ll come back, right?”

The fear is there in his eyes, for her to see. She realized now why he’s acting this way.

She’s not sure how to respond to him, though. She just gave him a complicated look, pretty much exactly how she feels. It’s one thing to witness one of the women he bedded coming to his house and causing a ruckus. It made it all real to her, that he did, in fact, cheated.

Yes, she was still more inclined to give him one last chance but she really needed to control her anger. When that woman showed up, her heart broke again. She felt more anger for him. She just wanted to leave and not see him for some time. Otherwise, she knew she’d only throw insults and curses his way. That’s going to be damaging, if they still plan to repair their relationship and she’ll give him another chance. Oh, the sacrifices that comes from her side of the bargain.

Does he even understand what she actually feels?

“I’ll let you go for now. I’ll come visit. You have my number, contact me if you need anything.” He held her hands with his, afraid to let go.

“I know how much I’ve hurt you. I couldn’t imagine how hurt you must have felt when that woman showed up.” His expression showed his disdain. For the woman? Or for himself? She couldn’t be sure.

“I understand why you want to go. But I hope you’ll give me another chance and come back to me. I promise I’ll never do you any wrong again. I’ll be with you, always. Whatever you need, whatever you want, I’ll give it to you. Just… just give me one last chance to prove myself. I love you. I really do. The moment you came back, you’ve given me direction again. I was lost without you. And I know that was my fault, too. I should’ve gone to see you. So many should-haves.”

She almost smiled at seeing his regrets. She could agree to that. So many should-haves.