I ate dinner with Dad at 6pm. It was a chicken stir fry, Dad hadn’t made it though. He’d never really learned to cook all that well, and unless I made dinner we had frozen precooked food. I wasn’t really hungry anyway. All I could think about was music. After dinner I went upstairs and forced myself to do my other homework. If I didn’t want Dad to get calls from school relating to my work ethic I had to put in the effort. Even if I didn’t want too.

I fell asleep shortly before midnight and when I woke it was morning. I felt like I had barely slept, not an unfamiliar feeling for me. I dressed and walked downstairs.

Dad had already left for his early shift. I grabbed my bag and after I left the house I locked the door. I fumbled through the day. At lunch I felt like my brain about about to collapse inside my head. I’d never really felt like this in the face of my workload before, but now that all of my attention was on music, I didn’t have the energy for both. Something would need to give eventually.

“You look exhausted.”

“I feel like my brain is melting.” I groaned.

“Ew.” Greta exclaimed. She picked up her peanut and jelly sandwich and took a bite. “So we’re still on for band rehearsal right?”

I nodded and broke a smile, it was my one highlight of the day. Something to look forward too, if I could get there without causing myself a self-imposed lobotomy. I looked around the cafeteria and my eyes were immediately drawn to Lex. He stood with another teacher, one I hadn’t seen before. She was his age, young and beautiful. I tried to push away the misappropriated jealousy. He wasn’t mine and I’d only known him a few days. I looked back at Greta. “So where is this boy?”

She grinned and looked down at her phone. “He’ll be here soon. He had to go to the office.”

I nodded, although my enthusiasm for the whole situation was limited. I wasn’t sure I was going to like being set up. Especially when I’d been late to the whole boy thing anyway. Unfortunately for me I didn’t have time to diffuse the meeting. The boy from music walked up to our table mere seconds later and introduced himself.

“I’m Ethan.” He introduced himself, holding his hand out like this was some kind of business meeting. I took it, but instead of a firm shake he turned my hand like I was some kind of princess and kissed it. I frowned at his lips on my hand, while Greta sighed whimsically.

“Uh, Addie.” I muttered, I pulled my hand back awkwardly.

“I loved your performance the other day in Music. It was really good.” He said as a wide grin crossed his face. I had to admit he was gorgeous, but that didn’t mean I liked him. Something about him confused me, but I couldn’t put my finger on it.

“Thanks.”

“Why don’t you sit down.” Greta offered.

Ethan sat down, and for a while the three of us spoke about our favourite music. When I spoke about Messoda I looked up at Lex. He was still standing in the same spot, but the other teacher was gone. He was watching our table, frowning. I frowned back until Greta waved her hand in front of my face.

“Earth to Addie.”

I shook my head, and closed my eyes. When I reopened them Lex was gone. I looked at Greta and shrugged. “What?”

“You were talking about Messoda and just went blank. Are you feeling okay?”

“Actually, I’ve got a really bad headache. I’ll meet you in music later okay? Nice to meet you Ethan.”

I stood up and grabbed my bag. I left the cafeteria and let out a long slow breath. Ethan was nice enough, but I wasn’t sure I was ready to date. If he asked me out I wasn’t going to know what to say. The stress of everything compounded the already heavy headache until I felt nauseous. I ran down the corridor, desperate for air. I turned a corner, and in true addie style, I wasn’t looking where I was going. I hit a solid structure, a person, someone stronger than me and almost fell backwards. His arms steadied me before I could though and I was saved.

“Addie. You should really watch where you’re going.” Lex said, his voice was low and he sounded almost annoyed.

Of course. Of course it had been Lex that saved me. I looked up at his face and told myself not to get lost in his green eyes.

“I’m sorry. I just need air.” I croaked. “I’m not feeling well.”

“You look pretty pale.” He admitted. He lifted his hand to my forehead and frowned, like he had in the cafeteria. “You don’t have a fever.”

“I’m alright.” I replied. “Just need air.”

Lex shook his head and walked with down the corridor. “You should go lie down. I’ll let your teachers know you’re unwell. I’ll send Greta to get you after school. You can text me if you can’t make rehearsal okay?”

I nodded, mainly because I didn’t have the energy to do anything else.

We walked into the nurse’s office and Lex placed his hand on my back. I knew the touch was innocent, unlike me he clearly didn’t harbor slightly immoral thoughts. He was my teacher, and he was concerned.

“Nurse Sue, Addie is feeling unwell. She’s just moved here so I think it’s all a little overwhelming. Maybe give her a dark room and some quiet till the end of the day?”

The nurse looked at me and nodded. “You do look pale dear, is there anything else I need to know.”

I looked at her for a minute, wondering if she was digging for information. Eventually I just shook my head. She led me into a room and Lex followed. “Could you give us a second please?” Lex asked.

The nurse looked at him funny, but nodded and walked from the room. He sat down and looked up at me.

“What?” I asked. “What have I done?”

“Ethan. He’s trouble.” He said. “I wasn’t going to say anything, because it isn’t my place. But if any of this stress you’re under is because of him, he’s not worth it.”

I frowned and sat down on the bed opposite Lex. “He’s not.” I replied, unsure I meant it.

“Okay, that’s good. Hopefully you’ll feel better after a rest?”

I smiled and nodded. “Thank you Mr Scott.”

Lex grinned and stood up. He walked over to the door and said goodbye to the nurse. I lay down and covered myself with the blanket on the bed. I fell asleep within minutes, my strained brain obviously needed the rest. I woke to Greta shaking me softly, her eyes were awash with concern. She was sitting where Lex had been sitting a couple of hours prior.

“Are you okay?”

“I was just tired. I needed sleep.” I replied. “I’m feeling much better now.”

“Good. I can give you a ride home if you like, I’ve still got my moms car.”

I shook my head and looked up at the clock on the wall. “We’ve got a rehearsal to get to.”

“You’re well enough?”

I nodded and sat up. “I promise. Let’s go.”

We ran across the student car park until Greta stopped suddenly outside a black BMW. It was a newer model, flasher than anything I’d ever been in before. She pointed to the passenger’s side and grinned. “Let’s go, you’ll have to give me the address.”

I remembered where It was and let Greta know while we drove there. For five minutes she said nothing, and then out of nowhere she did.

“So, what did you think of Ethan?”

“He kissed my hand.” I replied.

“Ugh, I know, so sweet.”

I looked at her and shook my head. “It was kind of weird.”

“So you don’t like him then?” She sounded disappointed, like her foray into matchmaking was a failure.

“I don’t know him. He seems nice enough, and his taste in music isn’t abysmal. I just don’t know him well enough okay?”

Greta grinned and nodded before turning into the stony driveway outside of the warehouse.

“Well there is that party out by the dock this weekend. He’ll be there. You should come and get to know him.”

“A party.” I laughed. “Yeah, dad will totally allow that.”

“Say you’re coming for a sleepover? Mom and dad are going away this weekend anyway, it’ll just be me at home.”

“I shouldn’t.” I murmured, although the idea of a party piqued my interest. I’d never been to one before, and there needed to be a first time for everything.

“Haven’t you ever wanted to dress up, slap on some make up, go to a party and just let loose.”

“The let loose thing rings some bells.” I admitted.

“Well then that’s it. You’ll come to mine, I’ll play Barbie, and then we’ll go to the party. You can get to know Ethan better and maybe you’ll like him.”

I nodded, slowly. I wasn’t sure I was making the right decision, but I was curious enough to ignore the nagging feeling in my stomach. We hopped out of the car and looked at the abandoned warehouse.

“So this is where the magic happens.” She laughed.

“Don’t.” I groaned.

“Look I’m sorry I was weird yesterday. I know you’d never do anything with a teacher, I mean I don’t know you that well yet, but you take all these AP classes just for your dad. You’re a good person.”

I shrugged. “I don’t know. I’m here aren’t I.”

We walked across the stones and entered the building through the open side door. Immediately Greta let out a sigh. Jed’s eyes were on her and her’s were on his. I smiled and walked over to Lex.

“Looks like they might have an instant attraction.” I murmured, ignoring the fact that instant attraction was how I would have described my first meeting with Lex.

Lex turned and looked at Jed and Greta, who were now talking. “Looks like it.” He replied. “How are you feeling?”

“Good. I really needed that rest. Thank you.” I looked around and narrowed my eyes. “Where is Kieran?”

“Running late. I’m glad you’re feeling better. So you like our music huh?”

“You have an amazing gift. You all do I mean.” Nice save… not.

“Well I could say the same about you Addie.” He stopped and looked at the door, I tracked my eyes over as a disheveled Kieran walked through the door. “You look a mess dude.”

Kieran laughed and shook his head. “don’t even ask.”

“Don’t worry. I won’t.” He replied.

“Well we should get started. Addie did you manage to listen to the whole set list?”

I nodded. “Yep, I even learned some harmonies, in my head so I’m not sure how they sound out loud yet. I’d be happy to try though.”

Lex smiled at me and picked up his red Stratocaster. “No problems, what song?”

“Leave me alone?”

“I thought you’d like that one. Alright, well we will play, you harmonise and Greta can judge.”

“On it.” Greta exclaimed.

“Oh and you take the first verse, I’ll take the second. Alright?”

“Alright.” He grinned and looked at the boys. “Lets hit it.”

The music flowed through me at a rate a million times more powerful than I had experienced listening to it on my computer through my earbuds. Lex’s voice wrapped itself around me, taking me away to a place I wished I could be all the time. He was carefree, something I yearned so desperately for.

When it was my turn I sang his words, and I felt them. Like the first time I’d performed with the band I felt like I was where I was meant to be. I didn’t have to pretend to be someone different anymore, and it was nice. But like the first time, the moment the song finished overwhelming guilt filtered through me and I had to force myself not to run again.

I turned my focus to Greta who was grinning like she’d just won lotto. She clapped and then nodded. “That was amazing. I feel like I was at a concert and there is only one of me here.”

“Really.” I replied, feeling a little dumbfounded. This was only the second time performing with the guys after all. I expected to be rough around the edges, a work in progress.

Lex let his guitar hand and placed his arm over my shoulder. I tried not to let the touch affect me, but on the inside I was melting. “Really.” He replied.

We spent the next hour working through the music Lex had written once upon a time. Each some spoke to me in some way, even if it was just to give me insight to the man that was Lex. When we called time on the rehearsal I wasn’t ready to leave.

“So what’s your plans now?” Jed asked Greta as she stood up from her stool.

“I need to take Addie home.” Greta smiled coyly. I hid a stifled laugh and looked at Lex who was smiling as well. I’d only known Greta a few days, but shyness wasn’t one of the qualities I’d ever seen her possess.

“I can take Addie home.” Lex offered.

Greta looked at me and smiled with a degree of hope I couldn’t dare turn down. I nodded and point out the door. “let me grab my bag first.”

Greta and I walked outside and over to her car she smiled at me and bit her lip. “I remember Jed. He was a year ahead of me. I noticed him.” She explained. “A few times actually, but then I never built up the confidence to talk to him and then he was gone.”

“He seems like a nice guy.”

“He is. From what I can remember anyway. You sure you’re cool with this?”

“Yes. Lex dropped me off the other night too. It’s fine. Go, have fun.”

She eyed me up and bit her lip. “You like him don’t you.”

“Huh?” I replied. I wasn’t that transparent was I?

“It’s okay, I’m sorry I was weird the other day. I can see some kind of kismet connection going on between you two. That is the kind of thing you can’t avoid even if you try.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” I whispered.

“Mmmhmmm.” Greta replied. “It’s okay, I get it now.”

“There is nothing to get.” I mumbled. I grabbed my bag from the floor of the front seat and slung it over my shoulder. “It’s not like that.”

Greta nodded and looked over at the warehouse door. Jed was walking toward us. She smiled at him, thankfully turning her attention away from me. I began to walk back across the stone path before she called out after me. “This isn’t over. We will talk about this Addie!”

I held my hand up and waved the two off, So what if everything she was saying was everything I felt inside. Nothing could come of it, so ignoring it seemed like the best course of action. I walked back inside just Kieran was leaving. He placed his hands on my hips and shot me a killer smile, one that probably got him a fair way with most girls. Yet, I was unaffected by it. I nodded and brushed passed him and back inside the warehouse.

“I’ve gotta jet.” Kieran exclaimed. “Date with this hottie from my pysch class.”

“You’re taking psych?” I asked. “I thought you were studying music?”

“It’s an elective, for the ladies.” He grinned. “High population of girls.”

I shook my head and watched as he left. Lex strummed on his guitar a few moments later. He captured my attention, and kieran’s dastardly ways were immediately forgotten. I turned around and he smiled at me, I felt my insides turn to mush, even though I tried to stop it.

“You were amazing today.” Lex said standing up. “It was cool to hear someone else singing words I wrote.”

“It was cool to sing them.” I replied. “I feel so connected to some of them. Like someone peered inside of my soul.”

Lex smiled at me before placing his guitar down on the stand. “Is your dad working tonight?”

“No, he should be home. But he thinks I’m studying until 8.” I replied, I looked at my phone, it was only 7:03 pm.’

Lex grinned and pulled a piece of paper from his pocket. “I hope you don’t mind. I kind of swiped this from your music book.”

I walked across the floor and took the paper from his hands. He sat back down and picked his guitar up. He began to play a new melody, one I hadn’t heard yet. I closed my eyes and once I’d listened for a minute I could pick up where my words were meant to fit. I began to sing, forgetting Lex was there. My emotions got the better of me though and before I could finish I dropped the paper so that I could use my hands to stem the tears rolling down my cheeks. Lex put his guitar in the stand and stood up. Without thinking about it he embraced me. I tried not to let my wayward crush confuse what this was, he could see I was upset, that was all.

“I’m sorry.” I sobbed, pulling back. “I don’t usually cry like this.”

Lex shot me a muted smiled and held my shoulder. “I get the feeling you don’t usually cry at all.”

“Weakness is something I can’t afford.” I replied.

Lex frowned and shook his head. “Being strong all the time is going to burn you out. Admitting that you’re feeling weak isn’t a bad thing.”

“Tell that to my father Lex.” I walked to the door and picked my bag up. “Could you take me home please?”

Lex stood up and I heard the jangle of his keys. The sound of his footsteps came closer until finally he stood beside me. “When you’re ready, I’ll be there when you do tell him.” He whispered.

His voice raised the small hairs on the back of my neck, I held back a shiver and nodded. “Uh, cool. Thanks.”

I had known lex a week but it felt like a year. I walked out of the warehouse and outside. The sky was beginning to dim, the coolness of the air was beginning to set in. I walked across to the car and placed my hand on the handle. “You free Friday?” he asked “For rehearsal that is.”

“Uh yeah, I think Greta said something about a party out by the dock. I wasn’t going to go but, well I’m graduating this year and I’ve never partied…”

Lex unlocked his car and he sighed as we both got inside. “Parties are overrated.” He replied finally.

“I wouldn’t know.”

“fair enough.” He replied turning the key in the ignition. “I’m sure that Greta will keep an eye out for you anyway.”

“I’m not a child.” I mumbled.

“I didn’t mean like that. I just see you as a friend and I guess that makes me worry.”

I frowned, it was almost like he was trying to talk me out of doing something and despite what I had said to Greta, I wanted to know what it was like.

“I just want to experience what I can, while I can.” I said finally, breaking the silence. “When school finishes I’ll be off to college, and then med school. With dad on my back I won’t have time for anything else.”

“I understand.” He replied.

“I don’t think you do.”

“Addie my parents cut me off because I followed my dreams. I understand.” He pulled over outside of my house and turned to face me. “Don’t be afraid to be you. From what I’ve seen you’re a cool person. Sorry I was weird about the party.”

I smiled at him and resisted the urge to place my hand over his. “Thank you Lex.” I murmured. “I see you as a friend too by the way.”

“Good.”

“Thanks for the ride.”

“Anytime.”

I grabbed my bag and hopped out of Lex’s car. By the time I was at the top of the driveway Dad was waiting on the steps. He had a face like thunder, and I wondered what I had done this time to get him so angry with me.

“You left the study session early? Why?” He asked.

Oh. Of course. I smiled and shook my head. “We just got through all the work earlier than expected. My teacher gave me a lift home. He just lives around the corner.” I offered.

Dad’s face softened and he stepped back, allowing me to walk inside. “Sorry, but you know how concerned I am with your grades. I would hate to see them slip especially now that we are heading into the last part of your senior year.”

“Dad, my grades are fine, I am fine. Although I am hungry.” I mumbled as I rubbed my stomach. It rumbled in response to my touch “How about burgers? Frances from work said there is a nice burger bar in town. My treat?”

“Sure, but could you get it to go? I’d like to stay behind and have a shower.” I explained.

And avoid any discussion about my studies.