The Great Pretender

The judge strikes the wooden thing the signal that the hiring is over. My case was successful and my client found as not guilty, I saw them enjoying the moment but I'm carrying my case and leave them and get back on my college University where my dreams started to fulfill. Thinking a lot.

26 years of existence in the universe experiencing a lot of personal problems, financial problems, facing challenges, facing circumstances of life, and suffering here on earth. My existence never defines who I'm now, what I'm now, and how I gain it. My existence defines how I'm being strong and dependent to stand alone on my problems. People asking me, what are you still single? are you still alone? why you are still in life without a partner? even I know that in my legal age and being a lawyer usually people have their own lives with their partners. Actually, I'm asking myself too do I need that? but on my existence, I have never been attached to someone else I've been struggling alone. Being a breadwinner of the family is still too hard even you got a high salary on every case that you be solved.

On my entire life, I was thinking for my own sake and also for my siblings what future bring them, we're not rich but soon it will be.

Sometimes I thought the universe getting harsh to me but I asked myself too if it is my faith. I think they gave it to me because I can conquer and win all the challenges they will give to me.

But on my 27 Birthday, I should have my own partner, partners on crime, a person who will be on my side, a person who will cheer me from my downtimes and a person will love me in a lifetime.

Wayback on my college life, I've entered the campus being alone until I saw those students who are having a relationship. On my own ideas, I think they called it love even they don't even know what is all about. I talked myself through my mind.

People commonly asked what is love? People usually see a man and a woman enjoying their lives. But, people never asked what makes them loved, how love does works on a couple, and why do people tell that they found their own great love? I do not know but for me, love is just an emotion that keeps you in pain.

Love isn't good, Love isn't perfect, Love isn't everlasting, and Love isn't forever

On my perspective love is the only one who can put you to feel blind because love didn't mean to stay forever it was just an emotion that you can be a prison by letting someone entering your life without any limits until they will abuse it and use it as your own weakness.

I saw couples after weeks they broke up, I saw couples after the anniversary they fall apart, and

I saw people how miserable with there own partners.

No matter what, I will never fall in love even how good a person because at the end of the day true colors will out, and I will never trust words from someone because it always is a lie.

"Speaks louder than actions" instead of trusting those words, I want a person who will never say anything but he/she will do and pursuing what he/she wanted to get.

I remembered the day when my mom said: "Benjamin, Love is just a feeling or emotion that can control you for being nothing." I never asked about love on my childhood but now I'm a teenager I usually confused;

Where did love come? When did it feel? How does love work? and What did we mean to love?

I got no answers from my questions and I never asked or wanted someone to answer it but there's only one thing that I commonly notice everyone is talking that they found out that they are in love when the right person comes...

Since the day, I entered my new life being a college student my life was the change, the place was big, there is a grass field, and I saw different kinds of persons.

I was standing alone on the wall and looking for those people who walk, run, and talks around me. I knew it, that they are all close to each other unlike me I have no friends it seems so weird but on that time I saw a guy walking straightly having his broad chest, a hair-like glass and dark as stormy cloud, thick eyebrow and pointed nose plus his towering height.

I saw him as an Angel from a distance, the way he walks just like a model, the lips are natural in red and the smile with deep dimples is the match on his angelic face. I wonder why I feel amazed, feel surprised by what I saw and the thing is I like that person, a guy with innocent. Among the guys inside of the campus, he is the only one who had this kind of aura that makes you amazed and uncommon eyes that makes him like a fictional character.

A perfect man that compatible with a perfect person. I'm standing here seeing his handsome looks. I do not know but he looked on me, he gave me a smile and I feel so shy, I do not know what was the reason, he walked coming to me and I saw him smiling, to be honest, this man had the power to say "no" on everything or he can please anyone to do something, a few steps towards on me then someone who holds the steel stairs stricken him and I heard the sound from his shoulder, he was dropped off at the ground, and it's really hurt him, he almost cry because of the pain he feels, from my place, I heard the impact and the guy who held it didn't know that he struck someone, I run into his place and helped him.

I got him and I carried him at the school clinic for me it is really necessary.

He was laying at the bed and he pleasing me to join him for a coffee. How could say "No" on this guy if his eyes seducing me, were just like in a novel where my boyfriend having a mistake and trying to catch up my attention for him, No. I can't refuse this man.

"Don't worry it's okay, I'll go with you but for now can you please stay here and I'll go ahead, in my class and took what was my professor will discuss?" Then he smiled at me.

"Sure, see you later" I smiled at him.

I do not know but the time I saw him closed on me, there is no one can't say he is not an acute and innocent man even he looks serious but if you look on him you will find he was cute and not a serious fictional character but a seducing and cute one.

People say that you'll never forget your first love but, for me, it isn't the way what they think, you can forget your first love when the next one is more important to you maybe we can say the memories are in there but the truth is, it is just memories will disturbing you to love more your partner or the one that you loved.

People never realize how does love works, people didn't know how to love truthfully, people didn't know how to accept the fact that there are just attracted to someone and they called it love for self-containment.

We met at the clinic and he waited for me to pick up my things okay then he asked me if we can go now, I helped him to walk we're just like father and son, a father who practicing his son to walk, I smiled, he looks on me and says thank you.

I do not know him personally but I need to help him because he needs it. He asked me what I want but I just smiled at him told that I'm happy to see him feel well. He asked me why I helped him I replied to him there's no one can able to aside or ignore what was happen in front by themselves. I told him to stay and I will buy some and drinks then he asked me what was my name."We are now friends and not a stranger to each other." I nodded my head, I stared at him and to his face, he is really cute and handsome, if ever I'll make him the leading man of my story if ever I have talent in writing but on my calculations, this man came to a well-known family. The skin, the language he used to speaks, the way he moves it looks like a professional and knowledgeable. A week later...

I sat down on the hard like chair near the field staring those young men's playing football and thinking how many men have been attached, admired, and loved on someone or for someone. Until someone sat next to me, he stared on me and say "Hi!", I stared at him too and start a conversation;

He wanted to pay me back on what I did to him. It was just a little help that he needs. A few minutes later, I sat and someone pinched me and I stared at him, the same way I do with Yuan but this time, I'm not able to see his face clearly because of the rays of the sun on his head until he moves his head nearly on my face and I was shocked this one is like a vampire god he has teeth like a lion and his eyes and skin color plus the towering height matching his awesome build body.

I do not know, what I need to feel but this guy really looks another fictional character, I didn't know what's happening, a few minutes later I saw the angel-like now a vampire oh shit, what's going on. He still looking on me until he speaks,

"Are you not going?"

"Going, where?"

"To leave that chair?"

"But why? "

"That was mine. "

"Really where's your name and your legalities? May I see? " He stared at me and give me a scary look, warning me if I don't get up on this chair he will do something...

"You don't have any legalities so it means you don't have the right to own this chair even this area because all the students who are studying here are the owners. Bitch!" Then I stand up and stared at him like he does a crime.

That guy really sucks me, I do not know why he is so crucial and I wish I don't have any involvement with him in the near future, and besides, I know he had his own career and relationship. I'm walking someone call me and say there will be a welcome party to all the newest students on the campus and I need to be there, in short, I need to follow them. I put off my phone in my bag until someone pinched me again.

Someone calls me at my back and return my book. But, I'm confused with the guy who gave me the book, how he gets it when I'm the only one who spotted there.

That guy who answered me is really cute and he is also a wise man. I don't even know how to relate to my juniors since I'm not good at it. I went here because everyone can notice me but in the end, I'm still alone for such a long time. ~Thinks of Warren ~

Yuan waited for Dylan to have some coffee,

I'm getting too serious at that time because I don't like kind of people. We're going to have some coffee and snacks, I and Yuan were sat near the window barriers and we've talked about his situation and what was happened to me. I went to the cashier while holding a cup of coffee when someone accidentally hit me, the coffee was poured on my uniform and I looked on that person it is the guy who ruined my morning and to think off I don't have extra clothes.

Even I'm mad I realized this is not the right to be stressful so I put my hands on his chest and I told him that next time he better be more careful and I asked him if he had another or extra shirts. I go to the comfort room and Yuan's look on that guy he joined me. I'm about to dress up the shirt and I was surprised at what he told me he is the little brother of that guy. I'm a little bit curious about their attitudes they are not similar, they're really different.

3 days after the welcome party will occur.

I was on my bed laying and listening to the music thinking again. No one knows my loneliness, No one knows my choices, No one knows my sadness, and No one knows my emotions. Until I realized, I need to be presentable at the party so, I went up to the mall to buy something for the party until my phone rang. The guy told me to wear any red color.

I'm in the mall. A mall is a big place where couples go when they are bored or they wanted to watch a movie or treat their partners, I actually think thinks about mine, who will be on my side entering that big place, sitting, eating popcorn and watching the movie we like.

The time I was getting back in my room the rain starts to drop. I don't have an umbrella. I checked my phone and it was run out of battery, I stayed and wait up to stop. Someone pulled my arms.

Yuan pinched me and asked me why I'm in there, I'm just standing to have some cream, He looked on me and told me to join him in a ride, while in the car I strangely asked him if he experiences to love by someone or loved by someone, he looked at me and smiled and told me that, if ever someone's gonna love him he will love that person truly. He dropped me off at my room and he gave me a hugged and he wanted me to hug him back but I don't want because I'm not comfortable hugging someone. The time I said that I admired him it is not actually the admiration of him it was the admiration of his kindness.