A week had passed and Jay and I haven’t spoken since the night we had the fallout. Lying in bed, I texted Callie and told her to come over and within a few minutes, she was right by my side. “Tell me what happened? And why did you wait so long to speak to me?”

“I told him that I was going off to college in Paris and he was pissed that I didn’t tell him and I told him that our relationship was only based on sex so I don’t know why he was getting upset, and then he told me I should leave and we haven’t spoken since then. I don’t know why I didn’t tell you, Callie, I just didn’t want you to get mixed up in my problems.” Rolling her eyes, she sat on my bed before she replied.

“Do you love him?” Thinking about her question, I realized that I was indeed in love with Jay. He made me experience things, he made me feel things that I have never felt when I with other guys. “Then you should talk to him and let him know how you feel, maybe you guys can figure something out.

“What if he doesn’t feel the same way? Do you honestly believe he would leave here just to come to Paris with me? A seventeen-year-old girl who barely knows what she wants.”

“Ask him, you can’t know the answers to your question unless you ask.” I knew she was right as always. Taking up my phone, I texted him and told him that I will be over at seven pm to talk to him. I waited for a few moments and there was no response, shrugging it off that he might be sleeping Callie and I decided to go to the mall. It was midday and as soon as we stepped outside, we felt the sun pelting our skins. Hurrying to her car, we got in and she drove us to the mall. Going into one of the stores we shopped for clothes, jewellery and shoes. This was one of the moments that I was happy that I had saved money over the years.

About an hour later, we sat in the food court of the mall while eating burgers. “So, what did Taylor say when you told him you are going to Australia?” He was happy for me and he said that he was going to transfer over there to be with me.” Cooing at her, I felt so happy that she would be near her boyfriend and they would be together but then the happy feeling was replaced when I felt a pang of sadness. A single tear rolled down my cheek and I wiped it away quickly. Callie saw it, but she didn’t utter a word which I was grateful for because I might have broken down in the food court. Changing the topic, we began talking about other stuff and about an hour later we got up and left. Bidding her goodbye, I entered my home and ventured up the stairs to my room where I placed the bags in the corner before flopping down in bed and falling asleep immediately.

Getting up four hours later, I felt like I was ran over by a train. It was like I didn’t sleep for four hours due to how my body felt heavy. Lying in bed for a good twenty minutes, I went downstairs to find something to eat before I went back to my room to take a shower. Now dressed and ready, I was ready to go over Jay to apologize for my behaviour. Dressed in one of my mom’s lingerie and having her coat over it and one of the heels I bought today, I made my way over to his house. I was so happy that my parents had visited my aunt because if they found me dress like this, I would be in my grave.

Knocking the door three times, I didn’t get an answer. I was about to walk away when I heard noise coming from inside. Opening the door, I walked in and up the stairs where the sounds were now getting louder. Pushing the door to his room, I saw a girl on top of Jay riding him before she started screaming like a banshee.

I felt my heart break in two and my body heating up. Clearing my throat loudly, I saw him look at me and then smirked. Realizing that it was planned, that he planned this because I was coming over caused my blood to boil. Taking off one of my heels, I threw it at him before I took off the other and stormed out. I could hear him calling my name but I refused to stop and listen to what he had to say.

Running to my home, I could hear him right behind me. Opening my door, I went in and was about to close it in his face when he put his foot in the door and pushed it open causing me to stagger back. “You bastard,” I yelled at him, “You did that on purpose, you knew I was coming over and you were fucking her and you didn’t care.”

“It was the only way I could get you out of my system Chris-Ann.”

“What do you mean by getting me out of your system?” You were that pissed that you had to have sex with someone to get me out of your system?”

“You were leaving Chris-Ann!”

“That still didn’t make it right and to think that I loved you, I wanted to see how we could work around this but I guess I was the stupid one right?”

“Chris–Ann, I love you too please, believe me, it’s just that––”

“I don’t want to hear it,” I cut him off. “Just get out!” I shouted. I could feel the tears streaming down my face, I could also see the hurt plastered on his but I kept my mouth shut. He was hurting then good for him. Pulling the coat, I made sure everything was on display before I walked to the door. Getting the hint, he walked towards me, kissed me on my cheek then walked out. Shutting the door behind him with a loud bang, I made my way up the stairs to return my mom’s stuff before I went into my room and cried myself to sleep.

***

“I’m sorry babe, he’s a jerk and he doesn’t deserve you.” Laying in her lap and crying, I felt heartbroken. Even though he hurt me, I still loved him and I hated myself for that. I hated myself for loving a man that caused me pain intentionally, I hated myself for still thinking and dreaming about him. Sighing, I wiped my tears before I turned and laid on my back with my head still in her lap. Looking out the window, I could see the shadows of the objects in my room due to the sun shining on them. Gently removing my head off her lap and placing it on a pillow, she told me that she would be back in a few minutes before she disappeared.

Half an hour later, she came up with breakfast on a tray and forced me to eat. Taking a bite of my toast, I saw my mom poke her head in through my door. “I am hosting another dinner party tonight and I am inviting Jay along with your dad and mom Callie and yourself of course.”

Hearing his name from my mother’s mouth, I lost it and started crying. Perplexed by my behaviour she asked Callie what was wrong with me and Callie told her I was PMSing. I really wanted to laugh, but the hurt and the pain that was stabbing at my heart, due to it breaking was more dominant than the laughter that was threatening to erupt. Accepting Callie’s answer, she told me I would be fine and the feeling would pass before she left and closed the door behind her. Pushing the plate with the food away, I lay right back in Callie’s lap before she started playing in my hair and I fell asleep a couple minutes after she did.