Sunday. It's 9am. Connecticut. 

      "Uh huh, not now."

     The alarmed had beeped. He just woke up. 

     "Wake up, dummy!"

     Cortana said. Cortana is the computer function of the alarm. Like the 5G thingy. 

    "Don't call me that, Cort."

     The computer scoffed and mimicked him, then retorted,

    "Then earn a good name. And dog, it's Cortana not Cort."

    He sighed. He hated it when he had to go through some shitty phase with the AI. Twas always nauseating and super annoying. Though Cortana had her better days. 

    Like the day she told him that his noodles was burning and the day she deleted the unread message he had sent to one of his crushes before he met Ishbelle. He used to be a player. 

     "Imma just change you, bitch."

      "Imma just ruin your day for you, then. "

    He sat up,

     "What day?"

     Cortana went dumb for a while. She always did that whenever he had forgotten something so crucial and she wouldn't tell him in time. 

    "Come on, Cort. Oh wait."

    He jumped off the bed. He looked at the table clock with the red blinking light indicating, 9:05am. 

     "Oh, my. Ish! Ish! She's on her way. She's at the door."

    He kept murmuring to himself. He didn't know why he could had forgotten such a day. A day he was supposed to host Ishbelle. 

     He was confused. He didn't know what to do first. His room was untidy. The parlour too was a mess. 

    Before he had gone to bed last night, he had eat lots of junks, plus it seemed like he really got high. He had no idea what he celebrated yesterday. 

     Probably the fact that he would be hosting his crush. That didn't really make sense. 

      "See, he destroys all the names."

     He had been absent minded. He turned to Cortona. What was she talking about? He didn't care. 

    His room was of no importance. But how about if it got to the point. Like the point they would have to come to the room for the hmm hmmm. 

     Nope. He was hallucinating. That was a mere guess. He should go to parlour and fix it. First thing first. 

     He walked out of the room and was at the door when he heard Cortana say,

     "One thing I'm glad of is the fact that I don't have hands and can't help you. The joy."

    "Fucker. "

     He breathed the words and slammed the door. 

    He got to the parlour. He actually wanted to burst out crying. Damn! He needed to be spanked big time. What had he made of his room. 

    There were pop corns all over the marbled floor. He had spilled wine on one of the sofas on a very conspicuous part. Damn.

     "What do I do? What, what?"

    He was scrambling around. The three-sitter sofa by the right of the TV set was filled with some of his clothes. He had no idea how they got there. 

    On the centre table were almost all the cutlery he had in the kitchen. He had no idea what they were doing there. 

    There were cucumbers too and onions and leftovers of mashed potatoes (he honestly didn't know where that came from) and sandwich, and garlics and cabbage etc etc

    He honestly didn't know which and were to start from. He had no idea what demon possessed him the previous night. He hoped he could lay his hungry cum haughty hands on it and beat the shit outta it. 

     Then for once, he noticed his PC on the glass and portable stool adjacent to the last chair closer to the entrance of the parlour. 

    "Low battery, please charge..."

   He heard the AI of the PC saying. Sometimes he wished he could swap the AI's. He wished he could put Cortana in the PC and that in his PC in his house multimedia. He would be sane. 

    No sooner the battery warning waned out, he saw a video playing. He had no idea what that was. He walked closer to it. 

     Twas a video of himself. He was talking. He had one of the pairs of clothes on the chair on. Twas a pair of joggers, sneakers, a cream coloured hood and his dark blue spec. 

      He listened closely to what he was saying in the video,

      "Hey, Ish, how do I look. Do you like me. You think we can kiss. Nope. Kiss is way too deep and strict."

      He watched himself take a swig from the bottle of whiskey which had two other bottles by it. 

     He looked behind him, towards the base of the two- sitter chair which was close to the aisle which led to one of his rooms. 

       He saw the bottles of whiskey there. He shut the PC, he didn't want to watch anymore. He was prettily mad at himself. He thought of what to do quickly before the lady would arrive. 

    He couldn't even remember if he did text her the address or not. He wasn't sure and wouldn't take chances. He should get the house cleaned up. 

    Then he heard a call from his room. He picked some of the clothes and ran into the room. He almost tripped. If he did, that would had been the end of it all. 

     He would definitely end up in Coma, because of the height and depth of the borders of the rooms and the aisles and passages. 

     He got to the room and picked up the phone. 

    "Damn, It's Ish. Cort, it's Ish."

    Cortana said nothing. Probably she wanted to be mute like she had been the last few days. They had qualms. He didn't want to think about it. 

    He didn't even wait for the crazy part of the ringtone, he picked up to hear her say,

    "Hey, I'm sorry. I won't be coming anymore."

    Holy mess! Damn! Goodness!

    He wanted to shout, 'Thank Goodness', but that would be way ridiculous. 

    A part of him was glad. Glad that he wouldn't have to be in a haste to clean the room. Hell! He swung himself into the bed and fell flat. 

    But he mustn't let that be so obvious of course. He should pretend. 

    "Aw. Why not? I'm well prepared to have you. I just ordered some Fondue, Oysters, Porked Fried noodles, Lamb steak and broccoli, etc etc.  What came up?"

    She hesitated and came on again,

     "Never mind, don't wanna talk about it. Just wanted you to know. I should go now."

     He was sure that he had dropped the call before he jumped up and screamed,

     "Yeah! C O R T A N A... We... Nope, I won. She's no longer coming."

     "I'm not even sure if I'll like her."

    Cortona came on air. 

    "That's none of my business. It's your headache, bitch."

    Cortana started laughing. Eric was startled.  

     "What now?"

      She laughed to her stupor before she mouthed amidst a chuckled,

     "I N C O M I N G..."

    "What do you..."

      A call came in again. He was skeptical. He looked at his phone. Ishbelle again?

     "Why is she calling again?"

    "Is she my crush?"

    He ignored Cortana and answered the call. Twas almost at the crazy part of the ringtone before he picked up. 

    "You forgot something?"

     "Yup."

     He sighed in relief. 

     "What's that?"

      She chuckled. He was confused. 

    "I forgot to tell you that that was a prank."

     "What'd you mean?"

     "I'm at your door."

     "What?"

      "You don't want me around?"

     He must be swift. 

     "No! Not that. I was just wondering how... how... how quickly you arrived or forget it..."

     "Well then, come get me at the door."

    She hung the call. He sat up. He didn't know what to think. He turned to Cortana. 

     "Hey, did you give her the address?"

     Cortana chuckled and twirled over the words,

     "You should thank me, bro."

     He stood up. He didn't know what to do. He wished he could just strangle the AI. He wished. 

    He rushed to the door and opened, he slammed it and spoke over his head,

     "Fuck you, Cortana!"

     "You're welcome, dog."

   Said Cortana.