baff·ling

/ˈbaf(ə)liNG/

Adj. impossible to understand; perplexing.

---oo--- 

“I’m with my friend. She wants to buy a book, so I accompanied her,” my eyes were still pinned on his side, hoping that the books he was hiding will peek out.

He couldn’t look at me straight in the eyes, and whenever I shifted my gaze to him, he refused to at least pay attention to me and pretended he’s looking for someone. His gestures were baffling, and I saw his hands shaking, and his lips trembled when he finally settled his eyes to me.

“Oh, umm…that’s good. I, umm, also with my friend, I mean, sister. She told me to buy some books for her,” he stuttered while pinning his eyes in different directions. “I’m sorry. I have to go now.” He hurriedly went to the counter to pay for the books and rushed to the outside.

His musky scent remained in my position, embracing me with such a weird feeling and caressed my senses as if they needed it. Thinking about how nervous he was when I showed up in front of him made me think that maybe he was guilty of sexually assaulting me, or maybe he’s hiding something that he didn’t want me to see.

“What’s wrong?” Lea trudged to my side and stared in the direction of where my sight was. “You seem bewildered.”

“Nothing. I just thought I saw someone I know,” I lied.

I shifted my gaze to Lea when Christian was finally out of my sight. The books she was holding caught my attention because of their pornographic covers. Cringe traveled from one point of my nerves to another.

“I know they’re too erotic, but I just thought that maybe I need to change my tastes for books. I’m getting older, so I want more matured themes,” she shrugged. “So, which one should I choose?”

“Why would you ask me that? You know that I don’t like erotic books,” I glared at her like wanting to kick her outside. “I’m sorry. I can’t help you decide.”

“You read books about werewolves, right? I am sure that there are chapters in there that have smut scenes,” she gesticulated.

“Yes, there are. And I’m not denying it. But I skipped chapters with smut scenes,” I rolled my eyes as we walked back to the shelf where erotic books are placed. “The story can stand even if I skip smut scenes. In my opinion, those scenes are not that important. A story can still be great without it.”

“I don’t believe you, Eunice. No one can resist the pull of desire, even in books,” she rushed to my front and swayed her hips like a club dancer, pouted her lips, and winked at me like crazy. “Smut scenes are great, especially for our mental health,” she modulated her voice to sound seductive and chuckled.

“Mental health?” I paused, my face perplexed. “What a smut scene has to do with mental health? It only influences readers to think that sex is great, which is not, absolutely not.”

“You know, smut scenes trigger our imagination. And they bring us to the realm of lust, desires, pleasures, orgasm, and sinful fantasies. It’s not bad to read books with lots of it. Honestly, it gives flavor to stories. A romance novel is boring without it. Even a fantasy novel can be great with it.”

“Well, you sounded like a sexual prophet now,” I burst into laughter, and she giggled. “But if you really want to read books like that, just choose what you think is good.”

“Arggh!” she rolled her eyes and presented me with the books she was holding. “Choose. Please.”

A heavy sigh escaped from my mouth as I stared at her with a forced will. Staring at the books in her hands was like staring at cursed things that might change my chaste mind and jeopardize my self-proclaimed innocence. I took the books and scrutinized them as if I was judging which book should win. It was hard, of course, deciding which erotic book should I choose for her.

My eyes stopped on the book I was holding with my right hand. The shirtless man in the picture has tattoos all over his body. He was holding the woman on her hips and pulled her closer to him while his gaze went straight to her face. It reminded me of Christian and how he stared at me in the eyes when we were in the empty room. A strange feeling ran from my toes to my head, making me unable to realize that I was already fantasizing about him in my mind. As I reimagined what happened in the empty room, a tingling sensation in between my legs came to life, and I gave Lea the book on my right hand like the sensation triggered my reflexes.

“This…I like this,” my eyes widened as I realized what I was saying. “I mean, choose this. It looks better than this,” I shook the book in my left hand.

Lea smirked, “You just said you like this, which means?”

“No, I didn’t,” I refused to look at her. “Sometimes, I really stumble with words, especially when I’m not in the mood for something.”

“Whatever,” she groaned. “You pretty little liar!”

My thoughts for Christian, staring lusciously at me, were still playing in my mind. I tried to shake my thoughts off, but it wouldn’t go away. I don’t know what’s with him that made me unable to forget what happened back then. The feeling I felt lately was new to me. I couldn’t fathom why I felt that way. Was it because of the erotic book I was holding? Or maybe I was too vulnerable to Christian’s aphrodisiac charisma. No matter what it is, I can’t let this feeling get any worse.

“Let’s stop over the ice cream store near the flower shop,” I voiced out to divert my attention to reality. “I heard they have flavors like that of the ice creams in the Philippines. I miss Ube flavor. Want to try it?”

Lea’s face glowed up. “Ube? I never heard of it before, but it sounds tasty. Let’s try it.”

I pulled over when we reached the Pinoy Na Pinoy Ice Cream Store parking lot. As I got off of the car, I suddenly felt I was in the Philippines when I saw the native designs of the store. The paintings on the front were Filipino children eating ice cream, and on the inside were Philippine fruits, which I guess were the flavors of their ice creams.

“Oh my God! This place is unique,” Lea said as she hovered her eyes around. “It’s like I just visited the Philippines now.”

“Magandang araw po,” I greeted the woman on the counter, and she smiled.

“What does that mean?” Lea elbowed me and chuckled.

“It means “Good day” in English. Whenever we encounter people in the streets, and even in other places in the Philippines, a simple greeting can make them smile, especially when you greet them with a genuine smile.”

“Well, I heard aside from being hospitable, the Philippines is also home to beautiful beaches. They say it’s a piece of heaven. Please bring me there after graduation,” she held my arms and begged like a kid.

“Of course, I will.”

After we got the flavors we want, we trudged outside to get going. But a man in the flower shop caught my attention as we reached the bench under the store signage. It was Christian, staring at the flowers displayed in the front that were similar to the flowers I got from my sibylline admirer. He smiled when the vendor gave him a huge bouquet.

“Why are you staring at Christian Luis?” Lea snapped off while licking her ice cream spoon. “Do you know him?”

“Yup,” I rapidly answered. “I mean, not that much. We’re classmates in Bread and Pastry.”

“Which means we will be classmates too.”

I turned my head to face her, “Do you know him?”

“Who wouldn’t know a well-known Casanova on the campus? He already broke many girls’ hearts. And I heard that his tactics are a little bit different from the other Casanova gangs. He pretends to be demure and befriends the girls he likes to get their trust and then bring them to his bed. They say he ranks second in the gang, and the only way for him to be in the top rank is to get at least five virgins in a row. But of course, I don’t believe that. He’s too cute to be like that.”

My knees turned weak as I listened to what Lea said. The moment from the empty room, the tattooed men, and the way he licked me in my cheek were like puzzle pieces that formed a clear picture of what Lea said. Maybe all of those are true. I then realized how he changed from being a boastful and narcissistic guy to a demure lad. 

I was in the middle of forcing myself not to believe everything she said when Christian faced us with his eyes widened. My knees were trembling, and I don’t even know why I seemed to be caught off guarded.