“Are you alright, you look a little pale.” Julie asked as she placed a manicured hand on my shoulder.

I nodded in reply, but didn’t feel completely positive that I was alright. Nick, Nikolai, Mr Jackson and I… had kissed. It had been erotic almost, something I never dreamed I'd experience. Something I didn't think I'd wanted to experience, But now I wanted more.

Julie began walking down a corridor and as I followed her I let my mind wander. I thought about what might have happened if the elevator hadn’t started working, how far would I have let things go?

Before I could put too much thought in to it Julie spoke, which broke my daydream and pulled me back down to reality.

“Good, alright, lets get started,” She said walking briskly in to a cubicle. “Your workstation.” She said, gesturing to the modern and funky desk. On top of the desk sat a large computer screen, keyboard, mouse and an in and out tray.

“As you can see it is dull in here, so feel free to bring in photos of family or what have you to brighten the place up.” Julie added, as she leaned across the desk to grab a post it and pen.

The mere suggestion made me feel a little sad, but I pushed the feeling down in to that dark depths of my soul, down where all my memories were locked. A new beginning meant forgetting my horrific past. It didn't exist. It couldn't exist.

“Thanks,” I replied quietly.

“Okay, so every morning you’ll come in and process the paperwork on your desk. We obviously get a lot of applicants so there are a fair few rejection letters to process. I’ll take you through a few to get you in to the gist of it.” She explained as she wrote down a log-on and password for me on the post it note.

Julie and I sat together for around half an hour and after we’d processed a few together, she left me to my own devices.

I’d been working alone less than 10 minutes when a man’s voice called from behind me

“You must be the new girl. Word is you were stuck in the elevator with the big boss!”

I put the file I was processing down and turned around.

“The names Joshua, I’m the IT guy.” He held out his hand for me to shake. Shyly I reached out and shook his hand.

“Sarah,” I offered, unable to think of anything else to say.

Joshua shot me a cheeky smile and leaned up against the cubicle wall. He was well dressed, like everyone else in this building. But somehow even in his black business pants, dress shirt and blazer he looked friendly. His auburn hair was somewhat long for a guy, but immaculately groomed. He had big blue eyes with the eyelashes most girls would be envious of.

“Well Sarah, Julie told me to let you know that if you have any issues with your PC, I’m your go to guy alright?”

I thanked Joshua and turned back to my work.

“So, a few of us are heading out for drinks after work. You’re welcome to join us.” Joshua said, his voice rang through my ears. I wanted to accept the invitation, I needed to make friends. Instead I shook my head.

“Thanks, but I’m underage, besides I’ve uh, got to take care of something tonight. Have fun though.” I replied, my voice was soft and pathetic, Although I had improved exponentially since the elevator. Silently I cursed myself for being so painfully shy.

Joshua let me return to my work and everything was going great until my desk phone rang. I hadn’t expected calls and Julie hadn’t explained what I should say to any incoming calls. I felt my hand begin to shake as it hovered over the receiver. I took a big gulp and picked it up.

“Sarah Jenkins speaking.” I said, attempting to sound strong and independent, although I had no idea if it was working, in fact I sounded confused more than anything.

“Sarah it’s Julie. Mr Jackson has asked for you to go through to his office.” She said, her own voice sounding confused. Clearly being summoned to the bosses’ office on a first day wasn’t normal either.

“Oh, okay. Sure.” I replied confused.

I hung up the phone and gulped again. Why did he want to see me? Was he planning on firing me after the elevator incident? I may be a complete novice at all things involving romance, but even I knew us kissing like that was strange, even if it had felt amazing.

I stood up and walked out of the office and then down the long corridor where I’d seen Nick go. I knocked gently at first, however it went unnoticed because I’d barely grazed the door. I knocked louder and this time I heard footsteps walk across the floor. I’d expected Nick to open the door, but as the door opened I was met by a tall blonde woman, she was stunning. Suddenly I felt like the odd one out. Everyone here looked exquisite and well groomed, while I looked… well like me.

“Miss Jenkins?” The blonde woman asked, raising her eyebrows and looking me up and down. I couldn’t help but feel like she was judging me.

“Yes,” I answered, my voice was little more than a whisper.

She nodded and turned, ushering me into the room I’d assumed was an office. It was a reception area, a beautifully decorated one. The floors were the same dark granite that had been in the lobby, and the ceiling had a similar mural splashed across it. I took a deep breath and began to feel calmer.

When we got the larger doors across the other side of the reception room, The woman pressed an intercom button

“Mr Jackson, Miss Jenkins is here to see you.” She said, in a sing song voice.

“Send her in, thank you Janie.”

Janie opened the doors and gestured me in. I walked through, and Janie closed the doors behind me. No one sat at the large oak desk that was in front of me, and I wondered where Nick was.

“Can I get you a drink?” I heard him ask, his voice was behind me. I spun on my heel and turned toward the direction of his voice. He stood by a small bar, equipped with coffee, juice, water and a range of wine and spirits. Nerves were getting the better of me, and although I was thirsty I shook my head.

“I won’t bite Miss Jenkins,” he replied dryly as poured himself a glass of water. Not only had he teased me, but now he was referring to me as Miss Jenkins, a ball of nerves began to grow.

I didn’t reply, I couldn’t think straight; something about this man continued to render me a useless excuse for a human being. The realization of that alone should have pushed me to quit then and there, even if he wasn't planning on firing me, because I'd spent far too long feeling like a useless human being already. Still I couldn't quit and I hoped he wouldn't fire me, though I couldn't even explain to myself why.

Was I just finding ways to hurt myself after a lifetime of hurt?

Nick walked back to his desk and sat down. I turned and walked to the over-sized cushy looking chair on the other side, I sunk into it, it was as comfortable as it looked and I found myself wishing my cubicle had one. I sighed deeply, remembering where I was, forgetting about the cushy chair I looked at the floor and resisted the urge to bite my lip, as my nerves grew larger.

“Relax.” Nick said finally, his voice soft and smooth like it had been in the elevator.

I closed my eyes, took a deep breath and listened. I let myself relax a little then looked up at Nick.

“I brought you in here to apologize about before.” Nick said, his voice sounded a little harder now.

“It’s fine, I might be over my fear of elevators,” I replied with a smile. It was kind of true. I wouldn't think about how afraid I was when I had to ride one now. I'd think only of that kiss.

Nick’s eyes darkened and he furrowed his brow.

“I shouldn’t have kissed you Miss Jenkins. I’m engaged,” he muttered. “To Amelia Ann.”

The news should have been a surprise to me, but for some reason it wasn’t. Of course he was engaged. Of course the kiss was probably just some kind of confused mistake. Why else would someone like him, kiss me. I was no comparison to Amelia Ann either. Emotionally and socially stunted I may be, but everyone knew who the world famous model Amelia Ann was. She was easily one of the most beautiful women in the world. Still is confession pained my heart and I felt sad.

“Well, we were trapped in an elevator Mr Jackson. Being trapped makes you do crazy things.” I offered. My words had a double meaning. I’d spent 18 years trapped in my own personal hell and now I was here, doing crazy things. Things I didn't even understand, things that didn't make sense.

“It sure does.” He murmured, lifting the glass of water to his mouth he took a long sip.

The kiss shouldn’t have happened, for a hundred different reasons, but yet for some reason I still found my self wishing I was the glass. I wanted his lips back on mine, on me, I felt my face flush. I had to change my thoughts before I let them escape. I only had so much room inside of myself to smother my feelings and currently the hell I refused to acknowledge took up most of it.

“Tell me if this is out of line, but do you always arrive at work in such casual clothing?” I said quickly, hoping the random question was enough to remove the thoughts from my head, as well as relieve the building awkwardness.

Nick chuckled and stood up. He walked over to a cupboard and opened it. A blazer and tie sat on a coat hanger. I let a small giggle escape and he closed the cupboard door.

“I was only coming in for a Skype meeting. I can chuck a jacket and tie on if needed. Generally I have to look like I am an ‘A class snob.’ I’m really not though.” He explained, sitting back down at his desk.

I looked out the window then back over at Nick, when our eyes met he smiled at me, and I found myself smiling back. There was an uncontrollable skip in my stomach. So much for changing my train of thought, clearly my body had a mind of it's own. Nick cleared his throat and stood up.

“Sorry, gosh I should probably let you get back to work.” He said, his voice was flustered and unsteady. I nodded and stood up as well, Nick hurried to the door and placed his hand over the handle, slowly he began to pull the handle down. He stopped before he opened it though, and pulled his hand away from the door.

He turned back to me and almost seemed as though someone had turned a magnetic switch on, because before I knew what was happening, Nick’s body was against mine and I was against the door I’d been standing in front of. His lips were on mine, and the warmth I’d felt in the elevator burst in to flame. Nicks hands sat on my hips and he pressed himself gently against my body.

“Sarah,” He whispered as he pulled his lips from mine, he moved his head down a little. His lips playfully sprinkled kisses along the curve of my neck, causing a chain reaction to the rest of my body. The feeling confused me, I’d never felt attractive, or sexy and after years of abuse I never thought I would be capable of feeling anything like this, wanting more, wanting it all. Wasn't I supposed to fear the touch of a man, of anyone? Isn't that what everyone said should happen?

I knew what I was 'supposed' to be feeling according to everyone else. Here I was though, not feeling fear. I was feeling hope and freedom. The fact that I was very okay with all of this though was compromised by the fact Nick was very engaged.

The thought of Nicks engagement overtook the moment and I gently pushed him away from me. His hand flew to his lips, as he realized what had just happened.

He turned and paced the room, running his hands through his hair.

“This can’t happen again.” He said simply, his voice full of anger.

“I’ll go get my things and leave. I’m sorry,” I said meekly, as I cowered against the door. I was feeling increasingly ridiculous for being here, for the way I was acting.

“I’m not firing you. I’m the one behaving inappropriately.” He boomed, as he momentarily stopped pacing the floor. He blue eyes were dark, his kissable mouth sat in a taut line.

I wanted to ask why he was acting the way he was, but knew it wasn’t my business at all. Aside from some passionate kisses that shouldn’t have happened, we were strangers.

“I think that is debatable Mr Jackson,” I replied placing my hand on the door handle. “I think it is also best I leave.”

Nick walked back to the door and placed his hand against it, so that I was unable to open the doors. I looked at the door, unwilling to meet his eye contact again, I just needed to get out of here. Fast.

“Please don’t leave. I know you need this job Sarah,” he whispered, his voice softened instantly. “I know you’re running away from something.”

Confused I took a step back. How did he know I was running away?