Now

I was almost there. I rechecked the GPRS. Yep, I will be at Harris’s house in 10 minutes. Was I ready for it? Hell no! Remembering all the details about my past, brought too much frustration and anger to me. I felt agitated, and it wasn’t a good sign. Mom sent me the message that movers already left. It meant only one thing. I will be alone with my mom from the very first second. I didn’t see her in person for three years. The last time was when she came to Chicago for work, and I had lunch with her. The idea of coming back home more and more was looking like an awful decision.

Ten minutes after, I parked my car near the big and beautiful house. The lawn was neat and tidy, and there weren’t even any flowers. Okay, she wasn’t kidding when she said that there would be enough space for all of us. I hoped that my room would be in the farthest part of this house so that I won’t be seeing the smug face of Matt Harris too often.

I stopped the car, took my suitcase from the trunk, and went to the porch. As soon as I stepped on it, the front door opened and I saw my mom. We stared at each other. Not awkward at all. I smiled at her and saw her lips stretching into a big smile. In a few steps, she approached me and pulled me to her. The hug was tight but still very familiar even after all these years. I felt her sniffing my hair.

“Welcome home, honey! I am so happy to see you.” She whispered in my ear and stepped back after a few minutes.

“Hey, mom. I am glad to be home.”

“Lea, you lost weight again. But besides this, you’re still as stunning as ever. I am a proud mom.”

“Well, I took after you. Look at yourself! There are no wrinkles, no grey hair.”

“Lea, my secret is hair dye and injections, unfortunately.”

“Oh...” I wasn’t expecting that. Well hair dye maybe, but surely not injections. I was the reflection of my mom. Brown hair, big round green eyes with long lashes and full lips. She was beautiful back then and amazing now.

“Come inside. I will need your help with dinner, but before that, we need to unpack your things.”

She walked inside the house, and I followed. The house was big in bright colors, there was a lot of free space but certainly felt the designer’s work. There also was the second floor, but my mom passed by the stairs down to the hallway. She stopped before the door at the end of it. When it opened, I saw the room with big windows. It was light and spacious, but now almost every inch of it was covered with boxes. Oh God, how was I going to unpack all that?

Surprisingly, mom and I finished in two hours. Now I was looking at my room, which will be my place to live for a year. A big bed was in the middle of the room, a wardrobe, a table with a stool and a bookcase were here too. I sat on the couch and observed the room once again. If I need to be honest, I felt comfortable, almost like I was at home. But maybe it was the presence of my mother.

“So, honey, how are you?” Mom sat beside me.

“Fine, I guess.” I didn’t know what to tell her. I needed to get used to being back in my hometown after all this time and to me, living with my mom.

“Lea... What happened with Sean? I thought you were happy with him...”

“I was, mom. The deal is... I wasn’t ready to have a family... He’s older than me, and he wants children.”

“Don’t you want to have a child?”

“It’s not like that! Of course, I want it! I love children, and I always wanted to have one child for sure... Mom, it’s complicated... I will tell you everything, but just not right now. Okay?”

“Okay.” She sighed and got up from my bed. “If you need to take a shower, it’s just right here. It will be only your bathroom, so don’t worry about running into one of us. Matt, George, and I, we all live on the second floor.”

“It’s perfect.”

“Don’t think that you will be left on your own. I want to win you back... I wasn’t the mom you were needed after your father divorced me. But I will do everything that our relationship will be back to normal.”

“I know... I want it too.” I got up and went to the bathroom door. She took the hint and walked to the exit.

“Lea, what about Jessica?”

“She’s busy with something. I will see her tomorrow. So tonight it will be all about family ties. I guess I need to know my possible stepfather...”

“And stepbrother too. But you know, we still didn’t decide anything about the wedding... We’re good like that.”

“Okay, mom. I will go to the shower and will find you in 30 minutes. You will be in the kitchen?”

“Yes.”

I took a shower, letting the water envelop me. I dried my hair with the towel, put my shorts and a white tank top on. I wanted to feel comfortable while helping my mom. We did a lasagna and two salads. She also baked brownies. While we were working in the kitchen, she told me about her relationship with George Harris. They knew each other for a long time, but only three years ago, it started to develop into something more than just friendship. He invited her for several dinners, while they talked a lot about their work. But with time, their conversations started to be more intimate, more personal. She liked him, I could tell. Her eyes were sparkling when she talked about him. I was happy to see it. For her, it was a big step.

“At which time George will be at home?” I asked her, popping the strawberry to my mouth. I was sitting on the kitchen counter after everything was done. Mom glanced at the watch on her wrist.

“I guess in an hour. I can’t believe it’s almost 5 pm already. Matt is also going to be here soon. I asked him not to be late.”

“Uh huh.”

“Lea, why do I have a feeling, that whenever you hear Matt’s name, you’re tensing.”

“It’s bullshit!”

“Lea, language!” Mom stared at me. She was surprised by my outburst. I never told her about my crush on Matt, nor about my encounter with him. Even Jess didn’t know what happened between us at that damned party. Only him and I.

“Hey, are you in the kitchen, Olivia?” I recognized his voice from the very first sound of it. I definitely didn’t want to see Matt right now. I was in my clothes for home, even if my tank top hugged me in all the right places. I was without makeup, and my hair was still a little wet. Ugh, why did I even care?

“Yeah, Matt, I am here.”

I tensed. I heard footsteps coming. Heck! I didn’t see him for... For ten years for sure, even more. I didn’t remember running into him while I was in college. How did he look like? Was he the same? I found myself staring at the door. My pulse quickened. I bit my lower lip, not knowing what to do. But I didn’t have time for anything as the door finally opened, and Matt Harris walked inside.

Fuck! He still was as gorgeous as before. His hair was cut short, but still dark brown. He had a little beard, and his eyes weren’t cold as they were when he was in high school. I stared at his mouth, he was saying something, but I didn’t hear anything. He was smiling at my mom, and his dimples were visible. If I could admit it, only to myself, because I would never say it aloud, never in my life, I wasn’t kissed as he kissed me. Never. Not by the men I loved, not by the men I dated or just slept with. Matt changed. A lot. He was wearing a white shirt, which hugged his chest tightly. He became even bigger, with all these biceps and muscles. And he was in trousers. Not in jeans. Where was he working? Then I choked on the berry in my mouth when I saw the badge. He was working for the police.

“Lea!” My mom rushed to me, starting to tap on my back. I coughed, trying to spat the berry. Finally, I did it. I closed my eyes, but when I opened them, I saw Matt standing before me with a glass of water in his hands.

“Here. Take it.” He smiled at me. This jerk was smiling.

“Only because I almost choked. In other circumstances, I would have never taken anything from you.” I wanted to take a glass, but he didn’t let me.

“Okay.” He stepped aside and poured the water back into the sink. I heard my mother’s surprised cry. She had no idea what was going on.

“Asshole. Just like I remember you.” I jumped from the counter and went to pour myself a glass of water. While drinking, I was staring him in the eyes. He did the same. When I was finished, I put the glass on the table and went past him to the exit. I wanted to go back to my room and just stay there.

“And you’re even more beautiful than I remember.”

He whispered to me. I was sure that my mother didn’t hear anything. I pretended not to hear it either. When I was back in my room, I plopped myself on the bed and stared at the ceiling. Yeah, my new life was starting fucking perfect!