“Damn, Lea... Why didn’t I approach you sooner? You’re smart, stunning, and so hot...”

My pulse quickened. I looked at Matt, how he leaned to me and placed his hand on my cheek. His hand on my face sent shivers down my spine. I couldn’t avert my eyes even if I wanted to do so. Our eyes were locked, so I tilted my head a little to the side, leaning to his hand. He took this hint, and in a flash, his lips were on mine.

This kiss was everything I ever expected to feel from it. It was as if his lips were created to take possession of mine. Other boys kissed me, but it never was like that. It was sensual, it was tender, and it was so hot. I opened my mouth, welcoming his tongue with mine. These tantalizing movements of our tongues were sending me over the edge. I wanted this moment to last forever. Matt’s hand slid from my cheek to the back of my neck, keeping me in place. His other hand found his way to my waist, only to go further under my crop top. I shivered because these touches were new to me. Matt was an experienced guy. He knew what to do with his hands to make me want more. I arched my body, letting him know that I want to go further.

Matt broke our kiss only to help me to remove my jacket. I used this opportunity to take off my crop top. Now I was sitting before him in my bra and skirt. I saw how Matt’s eyes darkened, and his pupils grew bigger. He liked what he saw. I felt anticipation building inside me. I dreamt about this moment, and now it was happening for real. I reached with my hands to Matt’s t-shirt and helped him to take it over his head. Oh God, how gorgeous he was. I couldn’t take my eyes from him. He smirked, seeing my reaction.

“Do you like what you see?” He pulled me to his lap, lying on the back with me on top. I leaned to him, my eyes never leaving his. This time it was me who initiated the kiss. I kissed him while his hands were exploring my body. He knew exactly where to press, where to squeeze. Sometimes his touches were soft and light, sometimes stronger and rougher, but it never was painful. I felt his growing bulge in jeans. I knew what will happen tonight, and I thought that I was ready for it. Matt was gentle, passionate, and he liked me. It was real.

He sat on the bed, took off my bra, and stared at my breasts. I felt my cheeks burning hot. What if my boobs weren’t big enough? What if he preferred another type of girl? But when I saw how his lips stretched into a smile, I relaxed in an instant.

“God, Lea, you’re perfect... Just how I imagined you to be...”

He whispered in a low voice. Then he took my breasts into his palms and pressed his lips to each of my nipples, taking them to his mouth and sucking. I moaned almost uncontrollably. Goodness, what was he doing to my body and my mind? His caress of my boobs was like torture. These feelings were too new and too exhilarating. I didn’t recognize myself when I was with him. And I was sure that it was because of Matt. It was like we were connected on some deep level. Strange right? But I was sure that somehow he and I were destined to be.

In one swift movement, I found myself lying on the bed with Matt on top of me. His lips were on mine, then they went down to my jaw, next to my neck. I clung to him, to his broad chest. We both were hot and out of breath when he leaned back and stared me in the eyes.

“I’m not moving too fast, Lea? Is this okay with you?” Oh my God, Matt was perfect.

“It’s more than okay... I wanted it to be with you.” I murmured to him, trying to pull him back to me. But he resisted. The next moment I knew, he was towering over me, searching for something in my eyes.

“What does it mean? Are you virgin?” His eyes were cold and distant again. I didn’t like it. Should I tell him the truth, or should I lie to him? I didn’t like the idea of being dishonest. It wasn’t me.

“What if I am? What does it change? I like you, and you like me. We want one another.”

Every word was truthful. So I hoped he would go with it. But I was so wrong. He pushed himself from the bed, bent down, took his t-shirt from the floor and pulled it over his head. I sat, covering my naked breasts with my hands. What was going on?

“Matt?” My voice cracked. I felt vulnerable and so small.

“It changes everything, Lea. I don’t do virgins. Even if I like them.” Saying that he turned on his heels and strode right to the exit. He opened the door and stopped only when he was almost outside. “I believe you will find your way out.”

I don’t remember now when I was able to start moving. I was shocked, and his words and his actions hurt me. The minute he was so sweet, he was so caring and then, telling me these nasty words and leaving me like that. Damn you, Matt Harris! How could you do that to me? Was I that wrong? Obviously, I was. He wasn’t a good guy. He was rotted to the core. Fuck!

When I had dressed again, I looked at myself in the mirror. I didn’t let myself cry. It will be time for it when I will be at home where no one wouldn’t see me crying. My cheeks were still flushed; my hair was messy. Shit! I looked horrible. I wanted to go home, even if I won’t find Jess. I went down the stairs and walked back to the living room. I decided to look for her. But as soon as I stepped inside, I regretted my decision. Matt was here. He was sitting on the couch with Ethan by his side. They were laughing. The worst part was that there was a stunning girl on his lap. Her hands were wrapped around his neck.

How did I feel? I felt betrayed and embarrassed. I clenched my jaw, and our eyes locked. There was something in his eyes. Was it guilt? I don’t know even now, because it disappeared very quickly. He shrugged his shoulders and kissed this girl right in front of my eyes. I turned around and went straight to the front door. This guy didn’t deserve to be my first. He didn’t deserve to be liked by someone like me. Because if only he would have let me do that, I could have easily enveloped him in care and love. I knew that I would be able to do it. But the truth was so simple. He didn’t need it.

I was furious that I allowed myself to be misled like that. He was a player. He was a bad boy. He wasn’t good. He was a mean and heartless jerk, and I hated him. Oh yes, I hated Matt Harris to the guts. Never in my life had I felt something so strong to another person. I never talked with him after this day. When I was seeing him in the hallways, I always was holding my head high, ignoring his presence. I was glad to know that he left the town as soon as he graduated. I didn’t know where he went or what he was up to. I couldn’t care less about someone who did this to me.

Because of him, I started doubting myself, my self-confidence cracked. It was horrible, and to add to this that my parents decided to divorce. It was a nightmare, which started with Matt rejecting me. I was cold with boys at first, but Jake Hill made me feel beautiful again, he gave me the feeling, that I was desired and that I deserve to be loved. I dated him for almost three years and broke up only because our colleges were in different states and we couldn’t make it with long-distance. Jake was a perfect guy, and I was happy with him. Even now, I felt grateful to him. I know that he was married now. He met this girl in the final year of college, and he was happy. I spoke with him from time to time. I was friends with him.

Hell, what was I going to do when I see Matt again? Why was he living with his dad? He didn’t want to be like him or to be near him. What was his job? Did he and Ethan open the bar, as they wanted? Fuck! Lea, you were good without all this information.

I wanted to go back home to find myself again. I wanted to restore my relationship with my mother. I should concentrate on that. Mom said he would move out soon, and besides, I am sure that he wasn’t at home much. So maybe, I will be able to ignore him? But it will be rude... I will be living in one house with him. His father wants to know me. His father’s relationship with my mother was more serious than I thought. Fucking hell, if they will decide to tie the knot, Matt Harris will become my stepbrother. Just what I needed for my life. Another complication!