Chasing Sunsets

The sun was setting and I was sat in my bedroom doing what I did best - singing. It was a beautiful evening and I should've been in a lovely mood, but instead I was holding back the tears as I let out my deepest secrets to the melody. With every strum of my guitar, my heart broke even more. Still, I ignored the sudden urge to cry and carried on singing.

"Hey mate. This a new song?" asked my best friend, Jason, lightly knocking on the chapped wood of my open bedroom door. I urged him to come in, looking back down at the lyric sheets strewn across my bed.

"Just a little something I'm working on for tomorrow night." I was performing at one of the biggest award shows of the year, and I was absolutely terrified. Being a small, unsigned singer meant I didn't usually get invited to such events, let alone asked to sing at them. But my manager Ben Andrews was very well known and since he was attending, he managed to get me the gig. Now all I had to do was prepare the perfect song as this was my one and only chance to impress the biggest stars. I wouldn't get another opportunity like this so I had to make sure everything was perfect.

"Don't worry, I'm sure you'll do fine. Let me hear some?"

I frowned, but nodded anyway. Jase was always the first person I showed my music to, but I was more hesitant with the songs that were more personal to me. It wasn't that I didn't trust him. I just didn't like the idea of being confronted over the things I wasn't yet ready to open up about. I also didn't particularly like worrying him. If he heard some of the songs I had written, he would definitely be concerned.

"Sure." I closed my eyes and started to sing the chorus. I lost myself in the music, relieving every moment the lyrics mentioned. I opened my eyes to see him looking at me with a sense of awe in his eyes.

"Wow, that's really good Adrian. Is it about-"

I nodded, cutting him off. I wasn't fond of talking about my past, especially the boy I had been, and still was, so hopelessly in love with for years.

"Think it's good enough for tomorrow night?" I asked, nervously chewing on my lip.

"It's amazing Bluebird. Don't doubt yourself too much." He smiled, pressing a light kiss to my cheek before making his way to his own room. I placed my guitar to the side with a sigh, figuring it would be best to get some sleep now and carry on writing tomorrow.

I cleared off my bed, quickly changing into my pyjamas before moving into the bathroom to clean my teeth. My eyes scanned over my reflection, noting just how tired I actually looked. I'd been struggling to sleep for years, ever since he left. I managed to get a few hours a night but I would always wake up in tears. Jase didn't know about my sleepless nights, assuming I was okay since I went to bed early every night. But what he didn't know was that I would often sneak out of my bedroom window to take a late night walk. It gave me time to think, and I had a lot to think about.

Turning off my bedroom light, I hopped into bed with no intention of actually sleeping. Instead, I did what I did every night. I opened his instagram account and looked through his feed. Every picture he once had with me now deleted, and I hoped they were just in his archive. I had no idea why I did this to myself, reminding myself of what I lost. It hurt more to see his smile, but I couldn't live without it.

Eventually, I came to my senses and switched off my phone, tossing it aside as I laid my head against the pillow, hoping that my mind would finally let me get some much needed rest.

~~~

They say time flies when you're having fun. I wasn't having fun, so why did time seem to move so fast? It wasn't long before I was stood on the biggest stage I had ever performed on, full of nerves as I played the song I had perfected that afternoon. My eyes were glued shut, not daring to scan the room for potentially judgemental faces. This was such an important moment in my career, and I don't think I would ever forgive myself if I messed it up.

Here, stood on stage, my music loud, the lyrics flowing freely from my lips - I was in my element. Nothing brought my peace quite like singing did, and there was a small glowing feeling whenever I look towards my future. I was so lucky that this was what I got to do with my life.

The song ended as fast as it started, and as I sung the last note, I took a deep breath and awaited the audience's response. What I didn't expect, however, was for everyone to be on their feet, applause echoing the large room as the crowd went crazy. I couldn't believe my eyes when I noticed that a few people were crying, the majority still letting out cheers of encouragement and awe.

"Give it up for Adrian Fuller!" The host screamed, patting me on the back before leading me off the stage.

"Well done Aid! I knew you could do it." Ben smiled before heading back out to watch the next performance. Before I could register what was going on, I had been pulled into a bone crushing hug by my best friend.

"I'm so fucking proud of you Bluebird!" He whispered into my ear, tightening his grip around my torso - if that was even possible.

"Nice voice, kid." An unfamiliar voice said from behind me. I pulled away from Jason to take a look at who was speaking, my ocean blue eyes meeting the chocolate brown ones of a tall, tanned boy around the same age as me.

"Fuck me, you're Ryan Banks!" Jack gasped, causing me to slap him on the back of the head for being so inappropriate in front of someone seemingly well known.

"Sorry mate you're not really my type." He smirked. "But the blonde is."

I blushed, staring down at my shoe when I heard him chuckle.

"Nice to meet you. Adrian was it?" He greeted, holding his hand out for me to shake. I nodded,taking his hand. His grip was firm, everything about him screaming 'model'.

"You don't even know who he is, do you Bluebird?" Jack muttered, shaking his head in mock disappointment. I shrugged.

"Should I?"

"Nah, I'm not that famous." Ryan smiled.

"Not that famous?!" Jason echoed in disbelief. "You're one of the biggest fashion models out there. You've won Brit awards for your music. Your last album hit number one in 30 different countries. You've been voted hottest man of the year three years in a row!"

"So you're a fan, huh?" Ryan laughed. If I was in Jason's position, my face would be bright red by now. Lucky for the Irish guy, he didn't get embarrassed that easily.

"Yeah, you're a pretty cool dude."

"You're not too bad yourself mate." He smiled, averting his gaze towards me. "But I came over here to talk to Adrian. You're sick at singing, and by the looks of it, you're also an amazing songwriter. If you ever wanna get together or something, give me a call."

He grabbed my arm, quickly pulling out a pen and scribbling his number down.

"I'll think about it." I grinned. He nodded, sending us a quick wave before heading back towards his table.

"Did that just really happen?" Jase gasped.

I chuckled, linking my arm with his as we made our way outside.

"I think this could be the start of a good thing."