BIRDS WITHOUT FEATHERS

“Amor…”

The gentle voice was almost imperceptible at first. I truly thought it was nothing more but a mere imagination of the sound. But as I blindly stood alone in the huge garden of our family’s old mansion waiting for Frances, my butler, to tend to me, I soon heard it once again…

“Amo...r…”

This time, the distant voice soared above in the air from a guttural female tone into a flowing sharp melody. It clearly resonated so smoothly to my ears, enchanting my soul as I sought for the owner of the voice. And while I instantly got lost in the heavenly feeling of its beautiful sound, I found my feet moving on their own as they walked down the path towards the unknown direction of the sound.

“Amor…”

I let the emotional density of the captivating echoes from the voice blindly led me to where it was coming from. I felt its vibration as if the mere sound had its own wings and every note it let go falls into a fainting reverb in the winds pulling me down to its gravity.

“Amor, dove, dov'è la fè. Ch'el traditor, Ch’el traditor... giurò?"

I reveled in the tune, wondering what those foreign words she’s singing actually meant… It felt deeply melancholic. As if she’s voicing out her inner longing for something irreparable... Something nonexistent. And the minute I’d realized that I had already walked for far too long, I stopped and took notice that the voice had ceased singing as well.

“Hello?” I shouted to no one around me while I stood there, helpless and lost, in the middle of my visual darkness. “Hello?”

I heard a rustle not far from a distance and I instinctively turned my head towards the noise. “Hey! Are you there? I know you’re there!”

Though, to be honest, I wasn’t really sure if there was actually someone out there.

“I’m blind so I can’t really see you. But I’m pretty sure you’re there. Here. You can see me, right?” I reluctantly said to the silence around me, still hoping that I was really talking to an actual human being. But a moment had passed on, and the only thing I heard responding to me was the wind breezing in the air. I was already about to leave in resignation when another rustle sounded. I stopped and turned around again.

“Hello?”

“You really can’t see me?” I finally heard a softly spoken girl’s voice coming from a few meters away. And the instant I perceived the sign of her existence, I grinned widely.

“So you’re actually there? You’re not some kind of illusion?” I exclaimed in an elated voice. “I really thought for a second that I was just imagining you.”

“Who are you?” I heard her asking me in suspicion as I sensed something slowly approaching me.

“I’m Taiyo… Taiyo Takagi.” I told her, trying to face the direction of her voice. “I live back there at the mansion.”

I pointed my thumb to something behind my back though I wasn’t really sure if I was actually pointing it in the right place. I’m blind, for Pete’s sake. Walking here, alone, without anyone to guide me back home is pretty much considered a blasphemy. I know. But I wasn’t regretting it anymore. Not if it led me to meet this girl today.

“So you’re blind? As in really blind?” She soon asked me, and I felt her presence standing just a little close from where I stood. I may not be able to actually see her face but I’m very sure she’s looking at me with a doubtful expression.

“Yeah… Ever since I was five because of an illness. But my parents told me I could regain my sight back after the sur--” I suddenly stopped and held my breath for a moment, when I felt her warmth leaning closer to me. It was really too close that I was slightly intimidated by the sudden proximity.

“Uh…?”

“How many fingers am I showing you now?” She asked, cutting me off. And I felt really dumb to even be asked by that question. How suspicious could she really get?

“Five?” I answered in a question. She remained unmoved, standing too near from my face for a few more seconds, even after I spoke. I smelled a faint scent of vanilla from her and it instantly reminded me of those sweet caramel bread we often eat for breakfast.

“It’s three,” she corrected me, and the smell of vanilla quickly vanished around me as she backed away. “You got it wrong.”

Obviously.

“It’s not like I could ever really guess it right,” I said in a mocking tone, humoring her remark.

“But you could still be lying,” she retorted.

“If I can really see you now, I probably won’t even get to stray my eyes away from you. That’s for sure,” I said back, showing the best flirtatious smile I could muster.

“What even makes you think I’d actually believe that? I watch enough shows on TV. Humans can easily tell a lie like that,” she said, clearly unaffected. And I suddenly felt misunderstood by her words.

“No, seriously. I don’t even know where to look. I just happened to get here because of the unique sound of your voice,” I told her with utmost sincerity. And before I knew it, I felt her presence moving past me.

“I should leave,” she muttered back, after a beat, in a sad retreating sound. I frowned and felt confused about the slight change in her mood.

“Wait,” I called after her, thrusting my hand out in front of me, hoping I could grab her hand just to stop her from leaving. But I only ended up touching nothing but empty air.

“Are you still going to sing here tomorrow?”

No answer.

“What time would it be? Can I wait for you? When? Next week? Just tell me, please!” I kept rambling on, even when I’m no longer sure if there was still anyone there with me.

“Never,” I finally heard her say, after a moment. And when I tried to follow the sound of her voice again, I got lost when it returned back to silence.

“Why not? What about your name? I still haven’t gotten your name,” I insisted, trying to make her speak more so I would know where to go. And when I thought she was really gone, I heard her answering back again but it sounded too far away now.

“You don’t have to know it!" She shouted back. "My name only means we won’t see each other again...”

And with those words disappearing into the darkness of my vision, I was already sure that she had finally left the second she said it. Deserted alone in the midst of nowhere, I felt helpless again. It wasn’t like it could actually change anything... Just a mere name. But she still refused. And now… all I ever got to have was just the sound of her voice… And the fact that I’m all alone again… In the middle of the woods.

Realizing that I truly had no faintest idea of where I was, I instantly felt really scared.

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