Be with you, Never

I grew up hearing people around me keeps saying—Love always win, love conquers everything in this life—but it is the concept I unable to understand.

Angry, Envy, Selfishness, Greed, Pride, Empathy, etc.

I do not remember when it began, I only know one day, such kinds of emotion was gone along the wind.

I don't know it anymore. Maybe, I forgot about how to feel like human must be.

However, as far as I can say from the younger me. I was used to have a dream and longing for genuine feelings.

I harboured those human emotions before.

Even so, it seems not anymore.

"Are you tired Ms? Are you tired Ms? Are you tired Ms?"

I began splashing the cold water on my face over and over again, waking up the spirit from sleeping. Earlier, at the very first subject, inside of a noisy classroom our male professor were unfortunately noticed me dozing off in his class. The consequences wasn't really a nice sound into my ears. Leaving me with mocking laughter's resounding the whole class.

Ah, frustrating.

I splashed some water, again.

Such early in the morning, I, Melliza Xin Miyeon, nineteenth years of age, a new freshman student in Chang University—

was already embarrassed herself and played a fool in front of everyone then becoming a laughingstock.

It was not a very good start a day.

After harassing few of brain cells in my head thinking that ridiculous scenario. I finally willing to calm down of my wits, spirits, and heartbeats. Then evaluates what's happening at the present, we do not need unnecessary baggage of pain. In addition I cannot afford to gain extra discomforting feeling right now with the irritating headache going on me. I failed to rest properly last night with me binge watching the historical documentaries.

In whatever manner, I am not blaming it.

Apart from unwanted headache, I was very hungry and thirsty with a stomach screaming for rights to fill and to satisfy itself. It passed twelve thirty noon, after all, the time for lunch is slowly drifting.

Remember to eat your lunch...If I failed to eat on time again, I am afraid they'll get very mad. There unending speeches would be another long session, it's not I'm complaining about it.

I understand very well, what my family meant to convey. I do not remember of being ungrateful either, so, this maiden must obey. I continued rinsing my face, standing in front of the sink, the water drips carelessly, making my clothes to get wet too.

I turn off the faucet. Five, six, nine, I lost count how many times I've washed my face and hand. Ask why? No particular reason, I only want to completely wake myself into the reality. Then I wouldn't be able to do something foolishly over.

Once I looked up, my reflection at the mirror made me gasped softly. "Oh my, Me."

I feel haggard and I was very literally haggard at the moment. Look at those sunken eyes, looking big and tired, the heavy bags under are not helping. My pair of big curvy lips aren't far from it either with lacking too much of color, somewhat pale, losing a complexion. If you added the part of how messed up my short locks and dried strands, it will be list for toppings category. About the face—not clear skin— friendly forehead pimples are also waving their existence and claiming the title for being a cream of the crop.

What the heck, I am such ugly human being.

You are ugly, Melliza.

I do wonder where I was when the great heavens showering all the beauty in this world. Am I hiding, sleeping, playing or dying somewhere? Before I could even lament the sun and moon, some females students in cloud nine entered.

"What are you guys plan for yours first month anniversary?"

"I don't know, maybe a date? How about you guys?" Each of them squealing like a maniac to one another. Chattering of how addicting, charming, intoxicatingly sweet of their love's life. For the world's sake they seemed forgot all about me, I, who was a nobody's presence has been here since they break the silence of this restroom. If speaking worse realisation, it maybe they'd never noticed me from the start.

"OH MY! FOR REAL!" I was startled at the sudden screamed.

What! My eardrums, my headache, my brain cells.

I want to glare at the group of girls, still busy in their own loud conversation. I intake a sharp breath, checking up my wrist watch for a second then goes back looking at my face.

Such a distorted image.

Frustrated, I quickly untangled my hair tie and carefully tied it in the usual bun with purple pin, my hairstyle was either pony or messy bun. I do not wear any of make-ups nor lipsticks, powder even. If my face will put in average level it's at the lowest rank. Thereafter, I checked my appearance for one last time, with careful standards of mine, I nodded in satisfaction.

I turned back my attention at the girls, seemingly freshman like me, they are whispering to each others. Really, are they high school gossipers? I took a look at my wrist watch again and decided it was time for me to go out. Walking out, I carried my bag behind while thinking about what was waiting ahead for afternoon schedule and then making a mental cursed knowing I will going home late today for a mandatory meeting. I refused to scream, choosing of slightly slapping my face with both hands.

Embarrassed, realising the habit. I was stopped on my tracks, not expecting to meet someone's eyes looking at me. Our eyes quickly met on the spot, as if being caught in shameless action. I slowly put down my hands.

There he was sitting on the bench, alone with no one to accompany with.

Him, the classmate I had never noticed before in spite of being in a same room for consecutive years.

The stranger, he is a complete stranger.