All the Wrong Benefits

2 years ago
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3 years. For 3 years, I was hopelessly in love with Michael Kings. Funny how his last name is Kings and mine is Queen. I thought it was fate. 
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His shaggy brown hair sweeps over his forehead as he types with all concentration, paying me no attention as I longingly stare at him from the other side of the grey painted room. I loved him. I loved him way too much. Giddy and excited at how he didn’t kick me out with insults, I bounced softly on the brown couch, humming to myself and reading my Spanish novel to myself. People who see me from afar might think I’m a prissy pink princess, who shops all day, but I’m not. Absolutely not, but mama seems to like when I play with her, so I pretend to be like that. I say play, because in all honesty, that’s what it is. 
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Michael King, my one and only.  I always hoped one day that a Prince Charming would sweep me off my feet, and that it would be Michael. However, he had different plans. From the day I showed up in this house, 5 years ago, all Michael has lived for was to show me how much he hated me. I used to think, no, dream, that maybe all his hurtful pranks were a way to get my attention, make me fall for him, and I still hoped that I was right. 
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I got bored, and left the study, dropping the book on the couch and bid Micheal a softt and walk into the kitchen in my long purple dress, my hair packed tightly into its signature bun, and my fake smile plastered perfectly on my face.
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No room for imperfection.
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“Good morning.” I greeted to no one in particular, and they all stopped, flashed me tired smiles and a chorus of ‘good mornings’. 
Today was a big day; my Sweet Sixteen. It’s my introduction to the world as a woman, no longer a girl. My gown was prepared, spa day was booked, and the decorations were already set. All I needed to do was pretend to be okay. No biggie, that’s never been a problem.
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I smiled at no one in particular and left the kitchen, noticing the bead of sweat that was already forming on my forehead, and rushed out, bumping into Richard, one of Matthew’s friends.
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“Hey Richie” I greeted him, as I held his hand for support, and I felt him shiver. “Are you cold?” I asked not paying attention to the tinge of pink on his cheeks. 
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“Uh..yeah…cold, that’s definitely it.” He stammered, and I took in his features. He had auburn hair that stopped just on his shoulders, and his cute dimples showed as he smiled. “How are you, finally the big 16?”
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“Not yet, it’s by 8 pm unfortunately.” I smiled. “I’m just trying to enjoy my time being a kid.”
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“You sure don’t look like a kid” He murmured.
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“Pardon?” I asked, pretending not to hear him.
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“I said, let’s get some ice-cream kid” He beamed, fibbing obviously, but who was I to deny ice-cream?
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“Sure, but I have to be back by 3pm for preparations, the party starts at 5” I said, as he led me out of the house, and to his car.
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“Sure.”
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He put his hand at on my lower back, and softly nudged me into the passenger’s seat of the car, shutting the door, then ran to the driver’s seat, and started the car, simultaneously strapping on his seatbelt. He smiled at me through the mirror, and we left the estate. 
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When we finally got there, he rushed to open the door for me. How gentlemanly. I smiled, as I took the hand he offered me, and stepped out of the car and he closed the door. The beach was a breath of fresh air- literally. It brought me closer to my grandma, since I was told that she loved the beach so much. Mama said that she had long brown hair, and she would run on the sand barefoot with grandpa. When they died a couple years ago, I was heart-broken, but Mama has been able to give me peace. I grew up thinking I didn’t deserve happiness, but Mama always tries to give me everything I want. Everything she wants me to want. 
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Richard and I walked hand-in-hand, to a little ice-cream shop at the entrance of the deserted beach. He got me my favourite flavour, vanilla. I loved vanilla because of its complexity. People say it’s simple, but that’s it. Simplicity is the complexity. Smiling, we found a spot, and sat down at on the floor, watching the waves. 
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“How does it feel turning into a woman?” He asked me, making me turn to meet his eyes. His green eyes, however at the time my feelings for Michael were still complex, so I didn’t let myself get sucked into them.
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“Tiring.” I breathed.
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“It’s tiring?” He echoed, raising an eyebrow in amusement. “What’s so tiring about it?”
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“The pressure.” He stayed silent, asking me to elaborate. “The pink dresses, the parties, batting of eyelashes, perfect hair, perfect everything. It just isn’t for me.”
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“I thought you liked those things.”
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“I don’t.”
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“Then why pretend?” I stayed silent. “Why not be true to you-“
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“Because Richie!” I raised my voice. “I grew up a certain way, like a dog. Trained in the exact manner. Disobedience led to-“ I paused, then spat out the last word 
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“Consequences”
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“What Consequences?” He echoed, his green eyes darkening a bit.
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“Never mind Richie” I said, putting on my signature smile. The fake one. “The past is the past”
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“I’m leaving.” He suddenly blurted, the winced, breaking then reconnecting the eye-contact.
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“What do you mean?” I asked, confused.
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“I’m leaving for Canada, tonight.”
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“What?” I whispered. “Why?”
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“I’m training to become a model, Arianne.” He whispered softly. 
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“Oh” I said, and there was a pregnant pause. “Would it be crazy if I said I wanted to come?” I whispered back, gazing deeply at him.
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“Careful with your words, I might just take you up on that offer.” He smiled softly. “I know you’re in love with Michael.”
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“Yeah.” I said. “I guess.”
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“You guess?”
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“Mother is planning to announce an engagement for the both of us.” I noticed the way his jaw clenched, but felt it was in a brotherly manner.
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“Well good for-“
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“I’m not sure how I feel anymore.” I said, and there was another pause, then he put two fingers under my chin, drawing me closer, making my heart rate speed up.
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“I take it you’re still single for the next hour or so.” He murmured, leaning towards me.
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“Yea-h” I stammered breathlessly.
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“Good.” He said and crashed his soft lips on mine, causing my toes to curl in pleasure.  “Arianne” He groaned, and shuddered against my touch, and I bit my lip, holding a smile at the effect I had on him. When we finally pulled away, the sun was getting ready to set, but the guilt already had.
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“What-What was that?” I asked, breathlessly.
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“Uh…” He scratched his neck. “It was a kiss?”
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"Why did you-“ I was cut off by a shrill sound of a phone. 
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“Alarm.” He said shyly. “Sorry.” He took out his phone from his pocket, and switched it off
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“Well” He started, “You’re officially unofficially un-single.”
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I frowned, then remembered that it was for the boy I’d loved for years, Michael and smiled softly.
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“Thanks for, um, that.” I said, blushing. My lips were practically throbbing and his were no better. We walked back to the car, and he opened and shut the door for me after I got in.
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When he got in and started driving, I spoke first.
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“Why did you, uh, kiss me?” I asked him, looking at him.
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“I wanted to show you how you’re supposed to be treated.” Huhn? “If it doesn’t feel like that or better than that then maybe you’re with the wrong person” He said, glancing at me, like his words had a double meaning. 
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Like anything could top that.
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“Think of me as your best friend.” He said, focusing on the road. I bit my lip hard. How in the world was I supposed to think of him as a friend? If that’s what he wants though, friends we would be.
Smiling back at him in the rear view mirror, I made up my mind to be the greatest friend I could be, no matter how much the rejection hurt. My first rejection.