Alexis' Pov:

The last few days living without my mom felt great. I didn’t have to worry about catering to anyone. Or Anyone making me feel like the scum of the earth for just existing. I chilled with Lilith when she was home and did my usual route of watching youtube and writing stories.

I was starting to get used to living here. I even found a pretty diamond necklace in the side pocket of my bag. Ever since I put the necklace on, I’ve been having dreams about the beach nearly every night.

The weird thing is that my brain didn’t even bother making other people appear in the dream. It is always just me, the waves, and the sand. The next morning I woke up to the sight of a phone on the nightstand next to a note. I sat up and grabbed the note.

I instantly recognized the handwriting, the note read:

I didn’t get you this phone. My Brother did. Well, he gave me the money to get it for you and pay the bill in advance for a year. I swear he can be so extra sometimes. I set up the phone for you and he doesn’t have your number so don’t worry. Please use it and save me a headache from my brother trying to figure out why you won’t use it.

I smiled a bit from the note and grabbed the phone. It looked like the newest Galaxy. I was in the middle of setting up a password when a phone call popped up that I recognized as my mother's. I fumbled with the phone, trying to ignore the call in a panic. Yet, of course, I accidentally hit the answer call, option instead.

The first words from my mother were loud and accusatory, “I just can't believe you can be so rude and disrespectful to your own mother.”

“What?”, I snapped at her, the haze of sleep still clinging to my mind. Telling me to speak up and defend myself.

“Don't what me. For one second I thought you could really pay me back for all I've done for you. But you couldn't even do that right?”, My mom’s words were spoken with venom.

"Pay you back" I repeated the words in disbelief as something clicked in my mind.

My next words came from between clenched teeth, "Oh my god this was about my break up with Marcus."

"You owe me an apology and you need to make up with him. I mean how stupid can you be. Throwing away a lifetime opportunity like that",My mother sounded confident and stern, as if she could never be wrong about this.

I moved my phone from my ear for a moment. I needed to breathe. I needed to make her understand my decision. Maybe then she'll agree with me and stop making me feel like nothing.

I placed my phone back on my ear as I spoke, "He cheated on me. He doesn't want me. And my relationship should have nothing to do with you."

"It certainly has everything to do with me, you owe me for raising you and putting food on the table for 21 years. Maybe I should've thrown you out at 18. And if Marcus didn't want you why has he been calling me for days trying to get in contact with you", She shot her venom-laced words, worried about herself rather than her own daughter.

"He's been calling you for days.", I paused at that, none of my past boyfriends have ever bothered to look back.

I shook my head lightly, as I spoke again in a stern voice, "You know what I don't care."

"Well, you should. You've been nothing but a disappointment since you flunked out of college. I bet you haven't even been looking for a job. At least with Marcus, you'll be set for life", My Mom spoke loudly, harshly, and without hesitation.

I flinched at her words as I felt my eyes started to water. I hated it when she yelled at me, it made me shut down. A part of me realized that I held some power in this situation.

I spoke flatly, "I'm hanging up."

I ended the call and put the phone back on the nightstand. I took in a few deep breaths as I tilted my head back. I didn't feel like crying so early in the morning. I laid back down in my bed and faced the wall. The sound of a ringtone filled the room, I ignored it.

I wanted to just sleep, but she kept calling back. I grabbed my phone and turned it off and slipped it under my pillow. With it quiet, I slipped back to sleep in no time. I was allowed to cry in this dream, where no one would see. Where I could discern no one.

Where the cool waves could take away my sadness. Floating in the water felt peaceful, that is until I felt like someone was looking at me. I sat up in the water and saw a figure of someone, far away at the other end of the beach.

I reached for the figure, something inside me telling me that whoever they were, they were friendly. The next thing I know I'm lying in my bed, I roll over with a groan. I still felt so tired, I lifted my hand up to rub my eyes. The other hand went under my pillow to grab my phone, I turned it on and groaned louder at the sight of all the missed calls.

All of them are from my mother. The time showed two in the afternoon, I decided that this could be a good point to start my day. I went on youtube and spend a few hours watching videos. Eventually, there wasn't anything new to watch from my usual youtubers.

So, that conversation with my mom. I started to apply to local jobs online. I only did it to productively vent my anger, not because I thought my mother was right. I did want to pay rent and the only way to do that in a faster manner is to get a second job. I was just about done with filling out form after form online. My head was starting to hurt and I should probably eat something.

At the thought of food, my stomach started to give me sharp pains, as if saying, "Yeah you dumb bitch, eat some fucking food".

I got out of bed and made it to the door frame when colors started to dance in my vision. I shook my head lightly as I gripped the doorframe. I took in slow breaths, then I continued to make my way in the kitchen. I made myself a sandwich and grabbed a bag of chips. I hauled everything back to my bed and ate under the covers.

I grabbed my phone and went to my favorite site to watch cartoons. I really needed something, not remotely adult to get my mind off of the stress that possibly no one will be hiring me. After one episode, I heard the front door open. For a moment, I wondered if I'd have to fight for my life.

But the moment left when I heard Lilith's voice, "You're main bitch got pizza. Come and eat."

I grabbed my blanket, my phone, headphones, and the plate that now housed bread crumbs and an empty chips bag. I walked into the living room to see Lilith popping open the meat lovers' large pizza.

I smiled at the sight, "Nice. How was your day lil?"

I tossed my phone, headphones, and blanket on the couch as I passed. I wanted to wash off my dish and put the trash in the trash before I got comfy.

Lilith followed me in the kitchen as she filled me in on her day so far, "My brother was pissed about the whole incidence the other day. I calmed him down with the promise that I'd give you one thing from him. Then he started pestering me about if it was a good time to introduce you two."

She paused and rubbed her temples in slow circles. She took a deep breath before she spoke, "Which was just a fucking headache, and my feeding today was not as satisfying as I hoped. Luckily I got work later, so that should tie me over with all the sexual energy there."

I finished washing the dish that was in the sink by the time she finished her retelling. I turned and jumped a bit from her being so close.

She moved her hands to each side of the sink, caging me in as she spoke, "Unless you want to help me out with a quickie, Lexi"

I rolled my eyes at her request, "I'm not in the mood. My day was shitty too. My mom called and I found out I was kicked out because I dumped the rich Marcus Danforld."

Lilith hummed as she leaned forward, brushing her lips against the skin of my neck, "All the more reason, to make each other feel good. Don't you think?"

Her lips left kisses on my neck, up and down at a slow pace. I tilted my head back, giving her better access. I closed my eyes to enjoy this attention, this affection.

I lifted a hand to cup her neck as I spoke, "I don't want your brother to rip you to shreds if he finds out."

Lilith took a step back and smiled at me, "Aw I feel so loved right now."

She cupped my cheeks, leaning forward and presses her lips against mine. I kissed her back, an automatic reaction from all the other times we shared a friendly kiss. This didn't feel like a friendly kiss.

It lasted longer, she wrapped an arm around my waist, pulling me close. I moaned as she bit my lower lip, tugging at it gently. I felt her tongue brush against my lips for a moment. She leaned back and sighed in content.

She headed for the living room as she called back to me, "I'm not afraid of my brother."

We ate pizza, watched movies and relaxed like usual. A few days passed and I didn't get any positive feedback from any of the jobs I applied for.

It only gave me more of a reason to stay in bed, to not eat, to hate myself. It was one of Lilith's days off and she decided to burst into my room and wrestle the covers off of me.

"You need to take a bath and eat something, Lexi", She growled at me as she tugged on the cover.

"No", I whined as I tugged the covers, "Why should I when I can't even get a fucking job?"

"Rejection means you're trying, which is a good thing Lexi", She stopped tugging on the cover and laid down beside me, "You're doing everything humanly possible to get a job and I'm proud of you. So please stop beating yourself up over this."

I let out a heavy, long sigh before I climbed on top of her.

I rested my head against her breast, squeezing my eyes closed as I let go of whatever was holding me back, "Will you help me get a job, Lil?"

She brushed my birdnest like hair to the side as she answered my question, "Of course I will. Let's get you cleaned up first."

With Lilith's help, I was able to land a job at the local coffee shop a few blocks from her apartment complex. I felt nervous about serving people.

I didn't want to get yelled at if I messed up. Well, this is my first official job since according to everyone I know, writing isn't a "real" job. I just hoped this job wouldn't get in the way of my writing.

"Can I get a pumpkin spice latte with extra whip, one pump of cream and two percent", The pale-skinned woman with blonde hair, blue eyes asked while popping her bubble gum between seemingly every word.

"Right away miss that will be 4.45. Can I have your name.", I said trying to keep my smile from twitching as she popped her gum again.

"Becky", She answered with another pop of her damn gum.

I started to hum that Broadway song about popping gum and murder in my head. I turned and started to make her drink. While pulling my phone out of the pocket in my apron.

I needed it to look up the way I was trained to make each item. I had a bad memory, so I wrote down how to make all the drinks rather than trying to memorize anything.

This was my first day on the job and I really didn't want to mess up. It didn't help that talking to people made me nervous and I was afraid of ruining everything and getting fired.

I closed my eyes, forcing myself to stop thinking about it. After taking a deep breath I opened my eyes again. I focused more on the task at hand, blocking out the rest of the world as I did.

When I handed her the drink, she gave me a sneer as she spoke, "You really need to like speed up. I've been waiting for way too long."

"I'm sorry. It's my first day", I told her trying hard to keep the smile on my face and my voice friendly.