That's it.

I'm a coward.

A pathetic fool who doesn't deserve to exist.

But what could I have done. Just look into her grieving eyes and listen to her confess that she didn't love me while pretending to be strong?

No. I couldn't do that.

I was not brave enough to do that. If I had kept on looking into her eyes any more than a second I was afraid she would hold me her grateful prisoner forever. Drowning me in that incessant cycle of regret and hurt, never letting me go. She was so tragically beautiful. She was a mess of gorgeous chaos, and I could see it in her eyes. Even though I had half the mind to let her have her way, but in the end... I guess I couldn't. I just couldn't seem to endure the reality that I was responsible for the state she was in.

To have the woman I love make such an expression was appalling. And I was willing to do anything to make it better for her. Give up anything.

The atmosphere seemed to have gotten colder and colder. I had lost all track of time. It could've been a million years. Or it could've been just a minute. I was not aware of the time that passed me by. I wasn't even aware of the place I was at. Or where my legs were carrying me. I just remember it being cold. So...so very cold. And the ice piercing through my feet, scaring them. The hurt.

"What pains your heart so much as for you to be in such a state Winter sprite?" I heard a loud but clear voice resonate the chilly wind around me. Now I heard whispers which my ears were oblivious to earlier. Probably because I was so utterly lose in my grief. Whispers of the forest, of the trees and the wind sprites.

Right before me, the air started getting heavier, denser. Swirling and twirling around as if it was trying to give shape to something out of nothing. And then, the air took the foggy shape of a transient being.

I recognized Him immediately. He was the beginning and ending of all that existed in nature. He was infinity. Nature itself. And we called Him, the Elder.

"What is it my child? What has made you so pitiful?" He asked again.

I looked up at Him and said, "I fell in love."

"You fell in love?" His tone was devoid of surprise. It was merely a question. As if He knew it was inevitable.

"Yes. With a human." I admitted in a small voice, "But...she is hurt. And broken. And it's my entire fault. I don't know what to do." I felt so desperate at that moment that it shattered me.

"I warned you against your association with humans. But you still choose and walked the path that you have found yourself in. I am unable to help you at this point child." He answered in a calm voice.

"Please! Please do not say that. I beg of you. I can't let her imprison herself in this pain any longer. There must be something You can do. There has to be. Please help me." I finally collapsed, unable to take the writhing sorrow anymore.

"It was she who built the walls of agony around herself. That human chose this. We spirits have no say in the choices of humans. Even God doesn't interfere with the choices these beings make for themselves. And hence, they face the consequences of their choices. Be is good or bad."

"But this not a choice she wanted to make for herself. You know that! She was forced to. How could she forget the one she'd ever loved? Her one true love dying before her eyes. Neither would I. Please oh Great One, help me save her." Desperate tears welled up in my eyes. I had never cried before. It was a very human thing to do and I had known nothing of it. Until today.

"Oh foolish child, do you not realize how mortal you have turned? Do you not see that she did never love you for once!"

I looked at him, a bit stormy eyed maybe, because His blurry image looked blurrier than before as I spoke, "Yes, I know."

"And you still wish to make your human happy?" He asked.

"Yes. I do" I was surprised by the lack of hesitation in my voice. But at the same time, I was strangely pleased with myself. I just loved her...without rhyme or reason. Without cause or doubt.

His grave form stared into me for what felt like a split second, yet a long one. And then He said, "I'm sorry child. You disregarded my warning and choose your fate. There is nothing I can do to make all of this better. But... If you so strongly wish to give up everything to lessen the girl's pain, then there is just one way."

At that moment, I was reassured beyond belief. I thought I could finally do something for her. To make everything better for her again. "What is it? What do I have to do?"

"But with a grave wish, comes a grave price." He said.

"I'm willing to pay any price as long as she smiles again."

"If that is what you wish...so be it." He spoke in a quiet voice, but these last words of the elder felt strange. As if they were reverberating a very deep gut-wrenching emotion. As if He was crying. "But remember, No one in this vast universe can really save a soul without its consent. No one can and no one may. One oneself must walk the path of finality."

"So that it is." I took in a deep breath, most probably my last breath. I wanted so badly to see her just one last time. Even a split glance would have been enough for me to pass an eternity by. But I knew, I couldn't be selfish any longer. I should be happy I can finally take away all the hurt and pain I inflicted on her. I knew I didn't regret my decision.

"Child!" I heard the elder again as his silhouette slowly disappeared into a foggy churn of dust, "You were a miracle. As long as the wind blows, as long as the fire burns, even if the Universe remembers you not. The skies will. And when it does, it will cry for you a copious white and all the reminiscences will rush back in. For this is my final blessing to you."

The snow was piling up as the cold winds blew. And I stood there, under the unsheltered white sky looking into space. This was the place that was going to become my cold tomb. It was a peaceful place to be.

My awareness was slowly ebbing away, my eyes fluttering themselves close as I let myself drift away into nature. And then suddenly, my consciousness was reinstated by a voice I thought I would never again have the bliss to hear.

I turned around to see the girl I'd ever loved stumbling and frantically running around crying out my name. She looked wild. Reminded me of the first time I saw her. It was a bitter sweet moment. I wanted yet did not want to run to her. To crush her into a hug and never let her go, but I knew I couldn't. I knew not what cruel pranks the Gods were playing on me as I forced myself to tear my eyes of her in painful confusion.

"Why?" I thought. "Why is she here?"

I wanted her to not see me. I wanted to run and hide. But I couldn't. I didn't have any more strength in me to move. I was fading away.

"Rieam!" I heard her yell my name out once more. Louder and clearer this time.

She stood before me, her breath whistling through her lungs, her ears and nose red like an apple and her eyes ample and trembling. She was wheezing hard from running around too long.

And when she spoke, I could feel her voice resound in me, "Please listen to me." She said. And I smiled at her in response.

"It is true that you hold an uncanny resemblance to Leevian. It is also true that I first approached you because you look so much like him. And I wanted to fill in the void he left in me with you. I so desperately wanted to be with him that I didn't care about your feelings. I didn't care if you weren't him. Through you, I felt I was connected with him in a way. I know it is wrong and I'm a bad person," her voice was trembling but I could see her holding it in, barely, "but I...I never had the intention to hurt you. And I am genuinely sorry for what I did." Tears were freely flowing through her eyes now.

"I..."

"Norah, can you come a little closer? I don't think I can manage to come to you." I said and her weary eyes became wearier.

"What happened! Are you all right?" She ran to me.

"You know you worry too much. You're gonna have grey in your hair if you're gonna keep this up." I choked out a laugh. And she glared at me for trying to crack a playful joke.

"This is no time to worry about my hair, you're looking paler than usual. What's happening? Is it because of your lose of glamour!"

"No, that is not it. It was bound to happen eventually," I knew I didn't have much time. My consciousness was slowly deserting me.

"Bound to happen eventually! What was bound to happen?" She asked in utter nervousness.

"Never mind that. I want you to know that I can never resent you. How could I, I was the happiest when I was with you Norah. It was my fault that Leevian died. You don't have anything to be sorry about. Moreover, it is okay to break my heart. I was the one who foolishly fell in love with you. Break it a thousand times if you like. It was only ever yours to break anyway."

"Don't say that. It is not okay and I never blamed you for Leevian. It was an accident. How could you even think that it was your fault he died." She looked at me with wide eyes, did I mention that her eyes were beautiful! "Wha-What's happening to you?" She cried.

I looked at myself, and inhaled calmly. "For Every wish there is an equal price to pay. That is how nature poises it's balance", I said as my existence blurred, slowly. My time was almost up. I had to tell her now.

"W-What do you mean?" her voice broke.

I smiled at her sadly for I was a lost cause. You know the moment when you have to take a deep breath before speaking because you know you're so close to crying? Yes, this was such a moment. Hence I took a deep breath in and gently cupped her teary little face in my hands, "Listen to me Norah, I was always so cautious. But you Norah, you just dived headfast into everything. And you dived into my life and made waves. You're the most beautiful girl I've even known. Everything about you is beautiful, your slightly too big nose, the freckles in your cheeks, your slightly chapped lips, the crease between your brow. The pain that you so beautifully wear, always smiling. Like a garment perfectly tailored to fit the way you carry it...with a touch of grace of course... and the quietness of that sad smile... All so no one would ever know how heavy it really was. I fell in love with all of the beautiful you Norah. Meeting you was the best thing that could ever happen to me." She was trying to hold me; a desperate attempt to keep me from waning away. I saw immense pain and fear in her eyes. And I felt like the most helpless soul at that moment.

"No, No! Please, please don't leave. I have so much to tell you. So much to say. I..." I had no time left.

"Every second with you was fun Norah. Please know that although we didn't end up together in the end, I will always be grateful for having met you. For you taught an existing being what it is to be alive."

"Stay... Please..."

I looked into her beautiful eyes one last time and then closed mine in painful lament. "My emotions fail me when it comes to you my love and only words remain my weapon, you're half my hell and half heaven."

_Rhiam

Alona-

When I blinked the next time I found myself lying on the cold snow bedded ground. I felt like I roused from a heavy slumber yet it was not a slumber. I was first aware of the coolness of the air and it's loamy fragrance. The ground was a bit lumpy but the snow piling underneath me made it barely cozy. My clothes felt as damp as a flower dripping with dew and I half wondered if I was still dreaming as I sat up to take in the circumstances at hand. I felt my cheek unusually wet and when I touched them I knew they were tears. A lone tear traced down my cheek, and just like that, I realized I was crying.

I felt the rough cover of the book that lay beside me on the ground and then looked ahead at the old woman who sat right in front of me, still weaving her wool in the unbounded darkness.

Aside from my own noisy breath there was nothing to be heard and now I was awake, perhaps more fully awake than I've ever been.

Within seconds of realizing I was unconscious I was on my feet, eyes wide, reality sinking into me.

"What was that? What is going on here? Who are you?" Confused as I was, I bombarded the woman with questions.

"I have a vague intuition that you already know what is going on here Alona. And that, my dear," She pointed out at the old book in my hand, "is a book of reminiscence." She smiled in the same eerie manner as she did before.

"Okay, so you're telling me that everything that I just saw was what actually happened! And that my mom forgot about it?"

"No. Everything that you just saw is what happened in an alternate universe. And not just your mom forgot about it, the world as a whole forgot about it." She replied.

"And if the world forgot about it, then how did you not forget about it? How do you have that book?" She simply cackled at my questions and said, "I happen to indulge in a hobby of collecting books of reminiscence."

"Who are you?"

"The name's Clotho child, but you can also call my Moirai. Whichever you prefer really." She sniggered.

'Clotho', I'd heard that name before, in my history class. And if my memory serves well, I had a pretty good idea about who this woman was. The greek Godess of fate. I am positive I was as white as chalk. My eyes and my mouth were frozen wide open in an expression of stunned surprise. My mouth opening and shutting like a goldfish with no sound coming out, "I-It cant be." I shook my head in disbelief.

"It is what it is child," the woman looked bored; as if she had come across many such astounding expressions. Better ones even. "Now if you are a good girl and if you love your mother, you will go to her and present the book to her as your parting gift."

I was afraid to ask but I just had to know, "Wha-What will happen to her if I do that?"

"Well...we will just have to wait and see, wont we?" She smiled and I blinked.

There, the next moment, I stood alone in the park; no sign of another person around. Certainly not an old woman weaving scarfs. As far as I could tell I was alone with the owls and the bats that were making their carefree night strolls around the park.

I had half the mind to think that I was still dreaming, or imagining all of it. But the cast-iron evidence of my encounter with the Fate was right there in my hands. Its old leather, coarse against my palms.

I sighed to myself and decided it was time to go back home. Back to mom. Back to where I belonged.