The roots of these new found feelings were gnawing inside me and by the time I noticed things, I was already restless enough to want to run to her and tell her how I in turn felt about her.

I gaped at the thought and shook myself to my senses. I still couldn't believe that I was willing to let go of my reason just so I could see her again. I admit that it's been a while since I'd last seen Norah. But she promised to meet me today. Maybe that is why I was getting extra restive. I never would've imagined in a millennium that I would actually look so very much forward to see one mundane girl. Oh Lord! How could such a fragile being rob me of my sanity? The answer was yet to be found. But these human emotions blooming inside me were equally confusing to comprehend. So it wasn't much of a surprise.

I strode back and forth around the snow-covered park in sheer eagerness, snapping my head to glance at the downy white road from time to time. But not a gleams of her was to be found. So I waited.

Waited and waited and waited.

Until dusk fell over the horizon, I waited. But Norah didn't show up. And I looked at the chilly lone road with chest-fallen eyes. Wandering what might've gone wrong for her to not come.

In the end, I sighed in dejection and slumped down on the sleety bench, deep in thought.

'Is she alright?'

'Maybe she just forgot about it.'

'No No! I heard human women are very serious about their mates. They would never forget an arranged meeting with their lovers.'

'Then what might be the reason?'

Innumerable thoughts invaded my static mind but I failed to come to a conclusion. And the restlessness was yet to leave my body.

After mulling over the matter for another while I decided to take a little walk around the town. I'd been taking walks around the town recently and it had greatly helped me take my mind off things. Which is a good thing, I suppose.

So I took lazy gloomed steps towards the hoards of crowd and busy streets of the monotonous human world. But little did I know that this walk was going to be the last one I took around the lively streets of this world.

~**********~

The city lights glittered in its entire gleam as I walked through them. The whole world suddenly seemed happy and gay. Rainbow coloured streetlights decorating the pavements.

Even though I'd never really seen a rainbow before but I could only imagine what it really looked like. Dazzling like a heap of colourful gems put in together and blindingly beautiful to the eyes. I could see rainbows even in the shimmering high towers that seemed to leave their unknown traces in one's heart.

Maybe it was only through the eyes of a winter sprite that such a view was possible. Or maybe I was just imaging the most stunning panorama ever witnessed by one's eyes, but to put it all together, I felt joy. A strange sense of satisfaction and happiness sipped into my very soul. It was relieving, soothing to the heart. And it was something I felt after a very long time.

I sprinted through the hectic streets while drowned in my bliss, quietly humming to myself.

It was grand.

It was splendid.

It was everything and great. And somewhere in my mind, I knew the reason was Norah.

As I was trotting through the pavement I accidentally bumped into someone. Sigh! It was really a pain to be visible to the human eyes.

I turned around to apologise when the woman who I bumped into apologised in turn. Strange culture. Didn't really mattered who bumped into who but both sides had to apologize to keep up the amiable gestures. Well, it wasn't all that bad from a peace loving person's point of view.

"It is of no worries madam. Please do not concern yourself on my account." I muttered back.

And as she raised her head to look at me, her amicable smile seemed to have vanished into thin air. And she kept staring at me, wide shocked eyes. Like she'd seen a ghost.

"Leeve?" She uttered.

"Erm...no. I'm sorry but you've got the wrong man." I smiled at her.

"Huh? Ah... Yes. I must be mistaken. There's no way it could've been him." She gave me a forced smile and was about to walk away when suddenly she staggered on her feet and was about to fall head fast but fortunately I caught her and prevented the fall.

"Oh, I'm so sorry. I must be a little light headed today." She apologized again.

"No. Its absolutely fine. May I escort you to the hospital?" I offered.

"No no. I'm fine. I'm not that seriously health deteriorated." She laughed. "I'm just a little drowsy today, maybe due to lack of sleep. But I'm fine now young man. Thank you for your help." She tried to smiled it off, but I could tell she was not fine at all. She was distressed, and I could feel a deep hurtful pain gnawing in the core of her heart.

"How about we sit down a little and have some rest." I said.

"No no. I'm fine. I will be just fine." She was a stubborn one, but I wasn't about to give up yet.

"Please, I insist. Just a few minutes. Please madam." I looked at her, pleading.

The woman was in her mid forties, her hair tightly wrapped up in a bun which made her look clean, but yet she had a wildness about herself. Her dark blue eyes were so ruminant that I felt like they could pierce through a person's soul. She was clad in pure black. A rich black that somehow reflected her emotions. And for some strange twisted reason, I was not willing to leave this woman by herself. I just couldn't. It was as simple as that.

"Alright." She finally sighed and I offered her a smile as I walked her to a nearby inn. Or was it called a restaurant now!

****~~~~****~~~~****

I didn't think that she would start crying the moment I sat her down, but I was in for a shock when it happened so suddenly. And to be frank I wasn't exactly an expert at consoling a wailing woman.

So I just sat there, dumbfounded, staring at her helplessly. Which was pretty timid of me, I know. But I was afraid I might offend her if I asked her about her worries. Or worsen it even.

And after quite a while, she finally calmed down. Thank the Gods for that.

"I'm so sorry." She muttered in a hoarse voice. "I shouldn't trouble such a nice young man with my problems."

" Please madam. It is no trouble to me. I'd like to help if there is anything I can do for you." I reassured her and she looked at me with warm glittery eyes, filled with soaked tears, pain and something else. And then she muttered, "You are so much like him."

"Excuse me?"

"Oh! I'm so sorry if I startled you but you're so much like my son that you remind me of him every time I look at you." She said with a sadness that could blaze your heart.

"Oh! Is your son away from home?" I asked hesitantly.

"Ah! Yes. He went off to a very far away place." She smiled a sad smile. And it felt like I just touched something taboo.

"Oh! Why did he go off to such a place leaving you behind? Doesn't he care about his own mother?" I frowned, a bit upset.

"Oh no." She smiled innocently again. "It was not his fault dear. Some times life gives you no choice but to leave behind your loved ones. And no matter what, I still love my son. Besides, I can always go visit him from time to time. Which isn't such a bad thing."

To that, I didn't say anything. I couldn't, because I'd never really known a mother's love before. I did hardly learn about love and such. But I had seen a mother's love in action. And I couldn't deny it was a very strong thing. Maybe it could even move the heart of the Devil!

"I know." She suddenly squilled. "How about you come with me to meet Leeve. I'm sure he'd be very glad to meet someone his age." And I was taken aback. "...if it's okay with you." She added after a minute's dubious pause.

"I guess I wouldn't mind meeting your son madam. He seems like a wonderful person." I lied. No matter the circumstance, it is still awful to leave one's aging mother behind and go off to somewhere far. I ought to tell this Leeve person off, once and for all.

"Oh please, Call me Jane. You make me sound like a old woman." She laughed and her laughter sounded like chimes to the ears. I smiled back, "Jane is a wonderful name madam. I'm Rhiam. It is a pleasure to be of acquaintance to you."

"Oh my!" She laughed. "You sound like one of those gentlemen of my time. It is so hard to come across such nice youngsters like you nowadays. I guess today I'm in luck."

"You flatter me Jane. But thank you very much for the compliment."

•••••••••••••

"Ah! It's really snowy today." Jane looked up at the sky and sighed sadly. Like something really was wrong with the weather. As if she resented the sky for letting snow fall on earth.

"Yes. It is." I agreed as I stared at the front gate of the Grand Lagoons cemetery, before which I stood with this lady called Jane Joans.

She looked at me with eyes devoid of any mirth and said, "I'm sure you're shocked and confused." She smiled that sad smile again. "My son...he died four years ago in an accident."

Tears pooled her tired eyes as she spoke of her deceased son. "He was on a date with his girlfriend. It was their third anniversary...and he was so happy that day. He wore his best shirt and was going to propose to her. But then...fate was conspiring against him." She sobbed as she choked out the next words. "He saw his girlfriend on the other side of the road and as he was trying to cross the road he slipped on steep ice and was ran over by a truck." She sniffed grievously. "So every time it snows, it puts me in an aggravating mood. It reminds me of my dead son and I feel like it is mocking me for my lose. I know I'm being delirious but that is what a mother's heart is like I guess." She smiled in a tenacious manner. Ba

I could only stand there in the numb cold and stare at her in shock. I...the burden of the feelings I felt then were unfathomable to anything I'd ever felt before. It was heart wrenching looking at the poor woman sobbing in front of a cemetery. And thinking the reason her son died was because of me...left me devastated.

"Do not make that face Rhiam. I am sad but I don't want you or my son to think I am going to grieve his death for the rest of my life. I am moving on and I don't want his soul in Heaven to worry." She smiled through her tears and I couldn't help but feel guiltier than I was already feeling.

She took my hand into hers and walked me into the uncanny silent graveyard. The cold which was a part of me, I felt it nipping into my skin for the very first time. I wondered why. But her hands were warm.

As I and Jane walked close to Leeve's grave I saw the familiar back of a raven head girl standing under the snowing sky, dressed all in velvet black. Her shoulders were sagged and her posture gloomy. As if the sorrow of the whole world was on her shoulders and she was being crushed under the torment. Just looking at her back was enough to see that she was sad. And wounded. And frustrated.

Now I was confused beyond reason. And very anxious. My heart was hammering like crazy against my rib-cage. My heart denying every awful possibility my mind was offering it. The cold wind blew back and forth the graveyard and I felt myself shaking against it. It was a callous feeling.

"So you're already here Norah. As expected you're always early." Jane walked to the girl I had been dreaming about for a few days now and embraced her into a warm hug.

I couldn't move from my place. I was pinned to the spot by the cruel turn of events. I just silently watched the two women as they exchanged greetings, both exhibiting the same sad eyes of regret and anguish. This was a Norah I'd never met before. She looked like a stranger to me. Was that even possible? To know someone and yet feel as if you've never met that person before? I was confused and felt like my insides were being crushed by an invisible force. It was strange. And it pained me a lot. I was suddenly taken back to the night my sister was killed. I was reminded of the pain I felt that was eating up my insides that awful night. The pain and agony I thought I had become immune to was once again rekindled in me and I just wanted to close my eyes and go back to the time where I didn't know a girl named Norah Fitcherburt. To the time when I wasn't aware of myself so much. When I had forgotten what pain felt like.

Norah had not notice me until now. I wanted to disappear out of her sight. I didn't want her to know that her secret was out. But I knew it was too late now. Her beautiful grey eyes shifted from Jane to look straight at me and then they widened to the size of a saucer. All of a sudden she looked scared, worried and fretful. As if she wanted the ground to devour her whole.

"Rh-Rhiam! What are you doing here?" She asked in a small voice.

"Oh! You guys know each other Norah?" Jane perked up. "I met this gentleman when I was about to fall face flat in the middle of the street and he saved me. I even mistook him for Leeve for moment. And Rhiam was a sweetheart enough to help me, so I wanted him to meet Leeve." Then she looked at me and said the forbidden words, "Rhiam, remember I told you Leeve had a girlfriend he wanted to marry? Well, this it her, Norah Fitcherburt. It really is a small world, isn't it? To think that you guys have already met each other."

Norah didn't even trying to meet my eyes anymore. She had the expression of a child who was caught doing something nasty. "...Yeah! I suppose it is true." I said unenthusiastically.

"Yeah, such a coincidence, isn't it?" Jane said gleefully, unaware of the heavy atmosphere hanging around her. I must say this woman was one clueless lady. "So how did you guys meet?" She asked the first question that popped up in her head.

And I could see Norah fidgeting about uncomfortably where she stood, having nothing to say.

Jane looked from me to Norah, and back to me again, confused for a moment and then abruptly with an expression like something just clicked in her head. "Erm...so are you two like...involved with each other?"

"Wha-What! No I... It's not like that." Norah stretched the ending into a reluctant whisper.

"I'm sorry Jane, but can you give me and Norah a moment? It seems like we have some stuff to talk to about." I urged Jane as softly as possible, trying my hardest not to vent my frustrations onto the poor lady. Norah's stature sprung up in alarm, as if showing she was dreading something truly terrifying.

"Would you come with me for a moment Norah?" I pressed and she silently followed me, without much of a resistance. She knew she had some answers to give.

When we were at an adequate distance I turned around to look straight into Norah's eyes, trying to find a flicker. A flicker of what? I was not sure, I just wanted her to deny all of my presumptions and tell me that this was a big misunderstanding and she had nothing to do with it. But alas! Wishes seldom comes true. I was in for a heartbreak, and I had the vague premonition of it.

"Would you care to explain what is going on here Norah? And why wouldn't you meet my eyes?" I choked out, trying my hardest to not loose myself to the weariness.

For the first time, I saw a Norah who was not the energetic and bubbly girl whose mood swings had me crazy and puzzled all the time. She was a miserable version of the girl I came to know and love. She still refused to meet my eyes as tears welled up in her eyes. And she slowly spoke, "Four years ago, I had a boy who I was irrevocably in love with. He was the best thing that ever happened to me. We had everything life had to offer, he was a great student and was popular in school. He even got scholarship into medical college and I finally got admitted to the college of my choice in New York. We were going to rent an apartment together. We had our whole future figured out and we were happy. Everything was perfect you know." She smiled bitterly, "But it took just a moment for everything to come crashing down." Tears were freely flowing down her cheeks now. She wasn't trying to hide anything anymore. She was bare and she was showing off her still fresh wounds to me. I wanted to turn away. I couldn't bear to look at her. I just couldn't. It was too painful. But I knew I had to. If I looked away from the broken girl who stood before me now, I knew she would crumble to the ground the very next second. She was barely holding herself up and I couldn't let that happen to the girl I was in love with.

"It was our third anniversary. He looked so happy that day. Dressed in faded jeans and a bright blue shirt with his typical leather jacket on. He looked dashing." She smiled through her tears, reminiscing that moment again. "We planned out the whole date. It was perfect. We made reservation at a nice restaurant and after that we were to go for a stroll in the park. And he said he had a surprise planned for me there, under the oak tree. It was our special place. I was so excited. Later I came to know that he was gonna propose to me that day. But he never got the chance to." I had never seen anyone's eyes so sad as to lose all colour off them, but today, I was looking at the first girl I ever loved looking like she'd nothing more to live for.

She looked up at the starless sky, held out her right hand to catch a snow flake and she continued, "It was a very snowy evening, just like today. It was cold but not enough to dampen our spirits. But I wish it did you know. If only we hadn't gone out on such a snowy day. If only I wasn't on the other side of the road. If only it didn't snow so much that day. If only..." She sobbed. "I saw him being hit by the truck in front of my eyes. It was horrifying, something that will haunt me for the rest of my life. It is something I will never get over and every now and then, I will have nightmares of his lifeless body just lying there in the middle of the road drenched in his own blood. And I will regret everything all over again." She wept erratically, unable to hold herself back anymore.

Watching Norah like that...I do not know how to well describe that feeling, it was raw and daunting. Like someone had grabbed hold of my heart and squeezed it dry, and then torn it into pieces. And the worst thing was I couldn't do anything to stop it. I wanted it so desperately to stop, I wanted to scream at someone, cry and yell out to make it stop, but I knew I couldn't. So this is what heart break felt like, is what I thought.

I do not remember for how long both of us stood there, under the unadorned sky and the snow piling up around us. I was unaware of the time. I wanted to say something, anything, but what was I supposed to say? It's like I murdered her lover. Now what right did I have to tell her how I felt about her? How much I really fell for her.

After what felt like a millennium, I finally seemed to have found my voice and I remember saying, "Were you...with me because you wanted revenge?" my mind was blank and I couldn't think of anything in particular.

Her head, which was bowed down in defeat all the while, suddenly jolted up to look at me, and for the first time that day, her beautiful grey eyes met mine, "NO!" She fervently denied. "Never!" Somewhere deep in my heart, I felt a turmoil finally settle down. But still, I had to make sure. "Then why were you with me? I can see clearly that you're still in love with Leevion. You're still caught up in the past. So why? Why did you confess to me? Knowing full well that I was the reason your boyfriend died that night." Thinking about it was scary, but actually saying it out loud felt scarier. It was as if I was admitting to a crime. It nearly killed me.

"It's not what you think Rhiam. How can I ever resent you!" She shook her head furiously, "I ... I could never do that to you. You made me feel alive again. You see...when we met for the very first time, I...it felt like a really long winter in my life had finally come to an end." She smiled the smile she often showed me, warming my heart a little. "When that day, you suddenly came up to me and talked to me, I was taken aback for a moment. I thought Leeve had come back to me. In your light clothing, radiant appearance, you seemed like you fell right out of Heaven. I was so happy. It felt like I was given a second chance to live and love." She was still wearing that angelic smile of hers, but I finally realized that smile was not for me. She was looking through me to the lover that she'd lost four years ago. And the realization just broke something in me.

"Do I resemble him that much?" I looked at her, trying my hardest to sound fine, but I knew I was anything but that. And she seemed to have realized it. She looked troubled, and I did not want to trouble her further. She was already aggrieved as she was, and I would never be able to forgive myself if I hurt her any further.

"No, Rhiam I ..."

"It's okay." I assured her. "I do not mind you seeing him through me, at least you don't hate me." I smiled my best smile, "I can live with that. I won't ask for more."

"No! Just listen to me..." but I refused to. I didn't think I would be able to keep up the brave front anymore if I were to be looking at her for longer than the next minute. So I did the thing I was best at.

I ran away.