Hiding behind a cluster of thick bushes, I cry my heart out. The tears wouldn't stop. It's been over two months since I moved to France but the nightmares continue haunting me. I'm far away from where it happened. Far away from everyone dear to me. So why? Why do I still feel so hopeless? A sob escaped my lips.

The school is lively as ever with the upcoming festival, yet here I am miserable and crying in my own world.

The school holds a festival, a month before the year-end exams with various events to be enjoyed by the students and the general public. Every single girl and boy in school was busy with preparations. Even lazy bone Adrien seems to be in a tight spot with kids running up and down asking him for his assistance. Ninnon would be looking for me right about now. I'm sure of it. But no way in hell am I going to let anyone see me in this broken downstate.

I hear the swaying of leaves behind me, but ignore it knowing its only due to the breeze. or so I thought.

"Are you crying?" A deep voice asked me from above. Shocked I lift my head and find Ethan Beckham looking down at me, curiosity burning in his eyes.

Scrambling to my feet, I turn the opposite direction wiping away the tears in a hurry.

Shit shit shit! This wasn't supposed to happen.

Damn it.

"So you do have feelings." He continues. This is the very first time we've spoken since I transferred. Unlike the other kids with their sloppy way of talking in English, Ethan was speaking very fluently. He did not have that typical French accent where sentences sound monotonous and more often than not the pronunciation of some words ends up being warped. He almost sounded like a true American, and within me, I somehow felt a deep sense of relief. I almost felt homesick. What's with me?

Once I made sure my face was all dried up, I turn around to face him. Crossing my arms I stare at him with an unreadable expression. He was a good 5'9 at least while I was only 5'4. I had to strain my neck to get a proper glimpse of his well-featured face.

"What are you doing here?" I demand.

Since when did the bush belong to me?

"I'm hiding."

"Let me guess. Vivienne?" I state as a matter of fact. He nods.

"And her crew." He says with a sigh.

We remain silent. I stare into the distance. I see girls lifting boards, most probably for their stall while a couple of guys kept cheering them on.

"You haven't told me yet what the tears were for."

I look back at him.

"Since when were you and I best buds, that I have to tell you everything?" I ask rudely. He only gives a shrug.

"You always seemed like a girl with no emotions, so seeing you cry like that was quite a surprise. Did Adrien reject you?"

To this, I stare at him in disbelief.

"What!" I scoff. "Adrien? Why the hell would you even think that? Like hell, I'd end up having feelings for that heartless jerk. Don't screw around with such jokes Ethan."

I can't believe he would even think of such a thing!

"That's the first time you've said my name." He states completely ignoring my earlier outburst. First, he comes up with an absurd theory, and now he ignores it. Wow

"Well, we've never had a conversation before. So yeah."

Dusting my skirt, I turn to leave but then he grabs hold of my arm. Looking back, I notice him staring at me.

"What?" I snap.

"You’re not thinking of going back to class looking like that right?" he postulates. When I just stare back at him confused, he lets go of my hand and pulls out his phone switching it unlock. Then he turns the screen to me, the camera on hold.

God am I in an ugly mess.

My hair, jinxies know how it became a tangled mess. I was only leaning on the bush. How is this even possible? My face was a whole new term of 'wreckage'. I'm using the eyeliner aunt Felicity lent to me and it's not waterproof. My earlier train of tears had washed the whole thing off and my cheeks were splattered with black. Shirt crumbled, dirt stain on the skirt, why the hell is this guy even continuing talking to a fashion monster like me!

He let out a light chuckle as he puts his phone away, leaving me even more astounded.

Grumbling, I sit down on the ground once more. Ethan crouched down beside me. We didn't say anything to each other. I kept hoping Ninnon will come to rescue me. Even Pierre sounded acceptable.

I hugged my knees close to my chest, burying my face in it.

"My mom." He started, making me jump slightly in surprise. "She left home when I was only ten."

I kept my gaze on him wondering where this is leading to.

"She left with another man overnight without a word to my dad. I... I saw her leave the house from my bedroom. She saw me peering through the curtain yet she just turned and got into a man's car and drove off." He continued his voice hardening.

"Why?" I asked not able to hold back my curiosity. "Was it because of something your Dad did?"

He gave me a solemn nod.

"Dad and she used to argue a lot back then. But he never once raised his hand to her. Nights filled with endless yelling from their room. Only after she left did Dad tell me that coming from a wealthy family, Mom only ran away with Dad with hopes he'd give her a better life. Dad was going through some difficulties financially and she was infuriated that he wouldn't give her what she wanted. And so she left."

This might have happened when he was just a kid, but it still hurt him. Having to see his mother go away with another man. His expression proved it all. The pain was etched on his face.

Why was he saying me all this? I bet no one else knows about it. Why me? Why the sudden need to have a heart-to-heart?

"That's why I've never liked any girl. Why I never trust them. If a mother can so easily walk away from her husband and son, what's to say a girl can't? After all, aren't we guys needed only for face and wealth?" He ran his fingers through his hair looking hard at the ground.

Unwillingly I place a hand on top of his which was resting on his knee. He looked at me strangely.

"That's not true. Apart from face and wealth, there are girls out there who wholeheartedly fall in love with guys even if they're the worst shit on earth, knowing very well they'll be ruined"

I know it so well from experience.

Noticing my clenched fist Ethan turns his hand around and gives a gentle squeeze to mine. He keeps staring, waiting for me to go on. Sighing I look at my skirt, playing with a stone by my feet.

“I killed my best friend.” I whisper taking Ethan by surprise. His stare could have burnt a hole in my face. There was ruffling behind the bush but then silence followed.

"Her name was Sarah." My chest felt tight. like there was a sudden block in my oxygen supply.

Just mentioning her name out aloud made it difficult to breathe.

"Was?" he noticed I referred to her in the past tense.

I give him a solemn nod.

"She was my best friend. I've known her since we were in diapers. Our moms were good friends and eventually, we ended up being always together. Sarah, Ryan and I were a team. We were always together. Always." I take a deep breath before continuing.

"When we entered High school, we had a group of six friends including me. But Sarah always had the most important spot in my life. There was this guy who was in my Algebra class. Noah." I spat out his name venomously. I pry my hands out of Ethan's and clench both mines together, the knuckles turning white.

"He was the worst playboy a girl, no the world would ever come across. He slept with girls left and right. He broke girls so easily. He was such a horny imbecile. My poor Sarah fell for the ass." I let out a sob.

Why am I crying once again? In front of Ethan too.

"Even though she very well knew what type of person he is, she couldn't stop her eyes from following him around. I warned her. I pleaded with her. But in the end, she caught his eye. She spent hours on the phone talking to him. She walked to class with him. Ate with him in the cafeteria. She was like some lost puppy who had found its rightful owner. Before long, he had asked to meet her outside of school at his place when his parents were to be out of town."

I threw the stone which I had been playing with, with such force I didn't care if it hit someone on the face.

"She kept saying how nervous she was. I begged her to not go. Then I got mad at her and she left after yelling at me to mind my own business. She is my business, Ethan. Knowing something would happen, it’s only natural I'd want to stop her. I didn't want to see her crumble down in a mess. She said she was different to him. That he actually liked her back. Bullshit!" I pause to take a deep breath.

“That night my friends and I had a campfire in Ryan's backyard. I left my phone back at my house on purpose. Even though I had a bad feeling, and felt like Sarah might call, I deliberately left my phone behind. and... and she did call. She did." My voice, a whisper at the very end. I was mumbling to myself as of now. I was repeating the whole scenario to myself.

Thinking back to what had happened, I broke out crying. Not the light sobs but full out crying. Ethan was taken back by surprise but he recovered and pulled me close, hushing me. I cried on his shoulder not bothering how embarrassing I must be looking. All my efforts to maintaining a neutral life in France was torn apart. Here I am crying on a guy's shoulder about my past.

"You can stop. Amelia, you need not go on. Calm down, Amelia." He said in a soothing voice. I could do anything but calm myself down. Ethan rubbed my shoulder in a comforting manner. I shut my eyes tight, forcing the bad memories to go away.

Finally taking a deep breath I sit up and look at him. I'm determined to end what I started. He was kind enough to share his painful past with me. It's only fair I do the same.

"That night, Noah was on drugs. He was always warned by the school to put a stop to his drug addiction, and he did or so we thought. But the night Sarah went over, he was high. Sarah was well aware that she'd sleep with him but in the state he was, it wasn't sex but rape. He forced himself on her when she kept pushing him away. That's when she started calling me for help. Me being the bitch I am, leaving my phone behind in anger wasn't able to go to her aid and save her from that monster."

Once again I shut my eyes, my breath was ragged making breathing difficult for me.

"Amelia," Ethan started but I raised my hand to make him stop.

"The next morning, I was called by the cops. They didn't tell me what was going on. Ryan accompanied me when the police car pulled up at my house driveway. I wasn't taken to the police station though but the hospital. I was so clueless. Until I saw Sarah's parents and younger brother, Tony bawling their eyes out in front of a stretcher. T-The body was covered revealing only a scarred face."

The memories came flooding in.

Sarah laid motionless on the stretcher. My legs felt like it was tied to a boulder. Each step I took towards her felt restrained and painful. I remember staring at her face blankly. My hand moved on its own, taking off the sheet. She was in a hospital gown. There were bruises all over. Scratches and scrapes. A deep gash on her throat.

Noah had confessed, it was Sarah who broke the window glass and cut herself before throwing herself out of the window of his bedroom which was on the third floor. Neighbors had called the police in the morning when they found a naked girl lying dead. The doctor informed us that she had been penetrated multiple times and thus would most definitely lead to pregnancy since protection had not been used. He felt this was most likely the reason she decided to suicide.

I caressed my best friend's face gently. She didn't touch my hand as usual. It lay limp on her sides. I could hear her Mom crying out aloud. Ryan trying to take me away. But I couldn't leave Sarah alone. What if Noah tries something again. You can never be too sure. I remained by her side. I threw a tantrum when the nurses tried to wheel Sarah away from me. My parents were called in. Ryan broke down. My friends had arrived. Everything around me was happening in a rush but my world had stopped.

I started laughing hysterically, plopping myself down on the ground. The fear in my parents' eyes as they looked at me was still in my mind.

It had taken a week for me to accept the truth. That's when I broke down crying and locked myself in my room, shutting the curtains and drowning myself in darkness.

Sarah was gone. Forever

The sound of heartbeats brought me back to the present. Removing myself from Ethan's grip, I stared at him blankly. His T-shirt was drenched. He stared back at me. Is it pity or worry I don't know. My chest heaved unsteadily with my irregular breathing. I was going into shock.

"Amelia,"

"Mia!"

There was so much power in the voice that called out to me. Looking up I find Adrien. He was trying to catch his breath. Why is he panting?

The look of worry on his gentle features were replaced with relief, then anger.

"You fool!" He yelled so loud, I flinched. "Do you have any idea how long I've been looking for you?"

His gaze sets upon Ethan, and his glare deepens.

"What did you do?" I've never heard Adrien sound so mad. He was practically growling.

"She looks dead. The same way she did when she first arrived in Lyon. What the fuck did you do Beckham!" Adrien snapped. Ethan remained silent.

Suddenly behind Adrien, Ninnon and Pierre appeared looking panicked. Ninnon rushed to me and pulled me to my feet, throwing her arms around me and sighing in relief.

Warm. Why does she feel so warm? I realize I was shivering.

"Amelia." Pierre voiced out with a weak smile. Ever since I got here, he has never shown this expression.

Adrien took his blazer off and forced me into wearing it. I was only with my shirt, having left my blazer back in the classroom. He then grabbed my hand and started pulling me away from the group. Ethan was now on his feet.

"She needs to get back home." He said to the other three.

"You." He said nodding at Ninnon. "Bring her stuff over to my place." It was more like an order, but Ninnon accepted anyways. He quickly read out the address and dragged me away. I followed behind like a lifeless puppet.

The house wasn't far away from school since uncle Cam wanted to stay closer to the school in case of an emergency and he was needed. All the way to the house, Adrien didn't let go of my hand. Once we arrived, he unlocked the front door and pulled me upstairs ignoring his Mom's calls.

He pushed me onto the bed and shut the door, leaning on it while staring at me, looking as if he was trying to figure out some difficult puzzle.

"What happened back there?" He finally spoke. I remained quiet staring blankly at my hands.

"Mia!" once again I flinch when his tone rose. Slowly I make eye contact. He looked furious but his eyes held so much disturbance.

Why? Why do I always make trouble for him? Why when I'm supposed to be lifeless I feel so secure and protected with him here?

Adrien didn't say another word but kept looking at me expecting me to say something. Finally, the silence getting too overbearing, I speak.

"Ethan did nothing wrong. He was only lending me a shoulder to cry."

"Cry?" He asked and that's when he really, I mean really looked closely at me and saw the messy state I was in. Realization dawned on him.

"You... you told him everything?" He asked and I give him a solemn nod. Adrien clicked his tongue, looking unpleased. He runs a hand through his hair, then uses both hands and messes his hair while groaning.

"You alright?" He looks me in the eye. If I was my past self I would surely have wisecracked on the way his hair stood up. It was even more ridiculous than Pierre's.

Alright? How could I be alright? I was far from being alright!

"Are you getting along with the others in the class?" He did a whole 360' turn to change the topic. But this only made me scowl. Sighing he took a step forth and with three strides stood in front of me. Crouching he looked me in the eye.

He's never done anything to approach me other than during lunch, so I stare at him speechless. Even when at home he keeps a distance like I'm the plague.

"It's time you let go of it all Mia."

Let go? Of what?

He understood I was clueless.

"Your past. Of what happened. Everyone knows it wasn't your fault. Neither was it your friend's." Adrien made sure he didn't mention her name. "What's happened is done. You have no power to change it. You being like this, so... so miserable and pathetic drowning yourself in darkness and not letting anyone get closer is breaking the hearts of your dear ones. That includes my parents and Camille. It’s high time you step out and live your life. For your sake and hers. I bet she's watching over you and yelling at how stupid you look."

Unbeknownst I crack a light smile. That's so like Sarah. To always scold me for being a worry-wart. Tears brimmed in my eyes and trickled down my face.

Getting to his feet, he walks to the door and opens it but doesn't walk out.

"The best way to start living your life once again is to let it all out and share your grief with others. Starting with your friend or whatever those three are," he says hinting to Ninnon, Pierre and Ethan. He leaves, shutting the door behind him.

How will things turn out, if I revealed the truth?