No matter how hard he tried, Lance couldn’t stop thinking that the man named Jovan weighed more in Vince’s heart. The way Jovan worried about Vincent when he saw the bruise on Vince’s lips showed how much the man really cared.

As soon as Vince went to the kitchen after their encounter on the stairs, Lance went to the living room where Jovan was patiently waiting. He sat down on a chair across where Jovan was seated. They exchanged stares for a moment, without anyone speaking. He was inspecting Jovan, thinking of what that man’s relationship was with Vince.

Lance was really confused. Vince told him that he was special, that it’s not that Vince didn’t like him, but then Vince suddenly pushed him away again. Why does it seem that Vince kept on going back and forth? What’s keeping Vince from being with him? Lance kept on thinking for the answers without any success.

“Are you possibly Vince’s boss?” Jovan said with a stern look.

Lance looked back with the same glare. “Yes. And you are?”

“So, it’s you…” Jovan said in a tone that made Lance wonder if Vince had talked about him. “I’m Jovan, a very close friend of his.” His tone was a bit taunting. “Looking at you right now only affirmed my suspicion.” Lance wondered what Jovan was talking about. “Don’t get too close to Vince.” Jovan said in a very stern tone.

“What did you say?” Lance answered back in a riled tone.

“I don’t like you getting close to him. Someone like you is not suitable for him. You’ll only end up hurting him. So just stay professional with him. Don’t even think of getting any closer to him.” Jovan said with such conviction that irritated Lance even more.

“Do you think I would do that just because you said so? Don’t kid yourself. You can’t tell me what to do. I’ll get closer to Vince as much as I want.” Lance said with full confidence.

“I won’t allow anyone to hurt Vince anymore. You better stay away before you make a wrong move and make him sad. If that happens, I’ll make sure you’ll regret it.” The two were exchanging fierce gazes. None of them wanted to give in.

“You could make any threats as much as you want, but you can’t stop me. You just stay out of our business, alright.” Lance said.

“Right now, looking at you, I could clearly see that you’re a man that Vince would never want to get close to. You would only cause trouble for him. He had already been through a lot, he doesn’t need another person that would only hurt him. What do you really feel about Vince? Do you…?”

It was then that Vince interrupted them. When Jovan saw Vince’s bruise and acted very worried, Lance saw how Jovan really cared for Vince. The two seemed really close to each other that watching them makes Lance sad. Why could Jovan be that close to Vince? Why couldn’t he be like that with Vince?

Lance followed Vince into the kitchen afterward. He watched as Vince cooked. He couldn’t explain it, but Vince looked very happy. Vince was radiating with positive energy as he made his chocolate, and as Lance watched, he noticed how focused and dedicated Vince was. He looked really cool and attractive, Lance thought as he watched. For some reason, Vince was blushing and smiling while cooking and Lance couldn’t understand why.

He heard what Vince said about cooking, but he himself was a bit confused. He never really paid attention to the thoughts and feelings of the cook, that’s when he realized, that for someone who works in the food industry, he was very naïve.

“I’m tired of trying. If he doesn’t want to accept my talent, I don’t care anymore!” Henry looked furiously at Vince. Lance was worried that Henry might hurt Vince once again, but he didn’t want to interrupt because he knew that Vince wouldn’t like it.

“I never had the chance to really cook for my family.” Vince’s voice was so melancholic that it caught Lance’s attention. “I never had the chance to show my Mom my gratitude and love through my chocolates, and that’s one thing I’ll forever regret.” Hearing Vince so sad simply broke Lance’s heart. Vince’s voice was so soft and sad that it pierced right through Lance’s heart and mind. If only he could do something to lessen Vince’s sadness. “You’re lucky, that you still have a lot of chance to do what I can’t, so don’t waste it.” Although Vince tried to hide the sadness in his voice, Lance could still feel it quite clearly.

Lance’s heart was being ripped into pieces, as his feeling welled up inside. He couldn’t take seeing or even hearing Vince sad. He would rather have Vince avoid him than see the man sad. Unknown to him, the feelings that he had was growing bigger, little at a time.

“Instead of cooking to be accepted, why don’t you cook to make people happy instead? That’s easier and more worthwhile.” Vince said, still the sadness was evident in his voice.

Lance could see how Henry was looking at Vince. The once stubborn chef was looking quite sadly at Vince. His gaze was fixated on the chocolate maker. “Just what kind of a man are you?” That was the last thing that Henry said before he let Vince help him.

It was a bit surprising the only thing that Vince was doing was ask Henry questions about the happy memories that the young chef had. Lance found himself unable to look away from Vince. He couldn’t stop himself from looking at Vince. Lance was looking so softly at Vince, he was watching carefully, thinking that he would do everything to help Vince be even just a little bit happier.

“Are you sure remembering and thinking of happy memories would work? Isn’t that too superficial?” Henry asked, still a bit hesitant. “What about you, what were you thinking when you made that chocolate?”

“Trust me this would work. Why do you want to know what I was thinking about?”

“I don’t know, it was a bittersweet chocolate, a taste much like love. Were you thinking about your boss?” Henry asked.

Lance was surprised to hear Henry asked that. If Vince was really thinking of him, then Lance would be the happiest. “Wha-what are you talking about?” Vince stuttered, embarrassed. He turned around and then met Lance’s gaze. His face turned beet red as his eyes met Lance’s. They stared at each other for a few moments, and it was obvious that Vince was shocked. Then, Vince turned away.

Lance couldn’t help but chuckle at the sight. How can Vince be so stubborn and yet be so adorable? How could Vince appear so lively while he was obviously holding back great sadness inside? Somehow, Lance felt that he had to do everything that he could to protect Vince’s smile.

As soon as Henry finished cooking, they brought the food to Cedric. The soul chef looked really satisfied as he was eating his food. There was an inexplicable smile on his face. But Lance couldn’t really watch everything as his eyes were still fixated on Vince.

“This is the best dish I’ve ever tasted.” Cedric said with a smile to Henry.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Vincent was ecstatic after he succeeded in his plan. He had taught Henry to cook with emotions, and finally, Cedric was about to eat his chocolate. “What is that?” Henry asked as Vincent gave Cedric the box of chocolates.

“That is a recipe my mom made especially for the Soul Chef.” Vincent said.

Cedric opened the box which had six rounded chocolate. Cedric took one and ate it whole. As he chewed the chocolate, tears fell on his cheeks. “The outer hard chocolate is made of bitter dark chocolate, the second layer is a smooth white truffle, and in the middle is a sweet tangerine jam. At first, I thought that the chocolate was solely for Cedric, a grandfather who is strict but loving on the inside, but as I cooked with Henry I realized that this chocolate is made for the two of you.” Vincent looked at Henry. “Both of you are showing your hard shell in front of each other, but the truth is, both of you just couldn’t be honest with each other. Cedric wants you to learn the proper way of cooking.” He looked at Henry. “While Henry studied very hard just to make you proud of him.” He looked at Cedric. “A grandson who wanted to be just like his grandfather, and a grandfather who wanted his grandson to make it on his own.”

Henry looked at Vincent and took one chocolate as well. His eyes started watering as soon as he ate the chocolate. “I’ve talked to your mom about Henry a lot, that’s probably why she made this recipe. She must have seen this happening. She was always telling me how strict I sound when it comes to Henry.”

Vincent chuckled. “My Mom always had very great foresight. I followed everything in her recipe. I hope that I could convey to you what she wanted to say. My Mom would be really happy.”

It was a very tiring day for Vincent, and Lance’s heavy stare wasn’t helping at all. He was glad though, that finally, he had made one of the last seven recipes his mom made. He had left Cedric and Henry to talk and as he walked out of the room, Lance followed him.

It was very unlike Lance to be quiet and not say or even do anything. But even so, Lance’s continuous stare was more bothersome to Vincent. Vincent was wondering why Lance kept on staring at him with those sad eyes.

“How did it go?” Jovan asked as Vincent walked into the living room. Jovan stood up and walked towards him.

“It went as planned.” He was pleased with himself. He was smiling quite widely as he walked towards Lance.

Jovan smiled and then patted him on the head. “Good job. Let’s go?” Jovan’s voice was pretty proud.

“Hey, why are you treating me like a kid?” Vincent complained for two reasons; first, was because he didn’t like Jovan treating him as a kid, and second, because he knew that Lance was watching. Even though he didn’t want to admit it, Vincent didn’t want Lance to misunderstand at all.

Jovan and Vincent walked out of the house and then towards the car. Jovan sat in the driver’s seat waiting for Vincent to follow. Vincent opened the car door and when he was about to hop in, his other hand was suddenly pulled.

Lance was holding his wrist tightly. Vincent tried to break free but Lance’s grip was too tight. Lance forcefully pulled Vince, away from Jovan’s car, towards his own. Vincent tried to protest but then Lance suddenly pushed him inside the car before shutting the door. He tried to get away but Lance was faster. Vincent had already opened the door and was just a step from fleeing but Lance suddenly pulled him away from the door before closing the door once again. Even before he could do anything again, Lance drove off.

“What’s your problem? What do you want?” Vincent asked, but Lance was just silent. There was definitely something wrong. “Stop the car, stop it now.” Vincent protested. He was afraid of what would happen. Lance’s silence was really worrying him.

Lance suddenly stepped on the break and then looked at Vincent with a serious expression. “Who is that Jovan?” Lance asked in a really serious tone.

“I knew it. What did the two of you talk about? It’s because of your talk that you are acting weird right now, aren’t you?” Lance became really quiet after he talked with Jovan. He was merely watching Vincent and not saying anything at all, and that gave Vincent the suspicion.

“Not at all. Just who is that Jovan in your life?” Lance asked again.

“He’s a friend.” Vincent said. He had the feeling that he had to clear that up. “Why do I even have to explain to you?” Vincent tried to open the door but Lance locked it and then pulled his wrist.

“For a friend, he seemed very concerned about you. Just how close are you with him?” Lance’s tone was that of a very jealous lover.

“Are you jealous of Jovan? I already told you; you and I are not possible.”

“I tried really hard not to be, to ignore it, but when I saw him pat your head and you looking like a little child while he did so, I couldn’t help but notice how close you two are, and it made me jealous. I want to be the man closest to you, not him, not anybody else.” Lance looked at him seriously.

Vincent had no intention of explaining to Lance, but he just simply couldn’t resist Lance’s stare. He felt that if that continued, Lance would succeed in making him say what he truly feels. “Aren’t you tired of this? Ever since we met 5 days ago, there wasn’t a day that we didn’t argue. And every time it’s because of the same reason. I am tired of this, I’m really tired of arguing with you, and I’m really tired of telling you that I don’t date people like you.”

“Then tell me exactly why you can’t date me. Why can’t you just be honest about what you are feeling, for once? You kept on telling me that you don’t date people like me, but you’ve never told me that you disliked me, and I remember you telling me that I’m special, so why can’t you just admit that you like me as well?”

Vincent was taken by surprise. Everything that Lance said was true. He couldn’t say that the real reason was he was afraid that Lance would just leave him in the end. He felt really stupid and embarrassed when Lance reminded him of what he said. He blurted out that Lance was special that time because Lance looked really guilty. Vincent felt really bad when he saw Lance looking like that. Lance was not at fault at all, and the only way that came to his mind to make Lance feel better was to tell him he was special. He was just so angry that time –because of the rumors- that he blurted out whatever he was feeling. “That… that… that…” Vincent stuttered.

“That was what? This is the first time you are lost for words, does it mean that you can’t find any excuse? Just admit it, you like me.”

“How can I say that to someone who’s jealous of anyone that I get close to, for no reason, even though he had no reason to be?” Vincent regretted his words instantly. Why did he say that? Why is it that he loses control every time Lance is near?

“What did you say? What do you mean by that?” Lance asked with a surprised expression.

Vincent couldn’t think of any excuse. He simply took the chance of Lance’s confusion to walk away.

Vincent found himself drinking alone in a bar. It was still quite early and only a few people are in the same bar as him. His head was aching. “Why did I say that?” He said before he drank the glass of red wine in one gulp.

His phone suddenly rang. He was afraid that it might be Lance calling, but to his relief it was Jovan. “Where are you right now? What did that man do to you?” Jovan sounded really worried.

“I’m fine...” He lied. “Right now I’m at…” His phone was snatched from behind. He looked back and saw Lance holding his phone, looking really annoyed.

“Is this Jovan? You don’t have to worry about Vince because I’ll be taking good care of him. Stop disturbing us.” Lance hanged the phone.

Vincent found no strength to argue even further, he poured himself another glass of wine and drank it in one gulp.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Lance was starting to get really worried about Vince’s nonstop drinking. “Stop it now, and let’s go home.” He said worriedly as he tried to take away the glass of wine.

Vince snatched the glass back. “I don’t get you at all. How can you say you like me when you don’t even really know me? Why do you get so jealous easily, I’m not your lover, not even your friend?” At that time, Vince already drunk almost half a bottle of wine.

“That’s exactly the reason why I get so easily jealous when you're involved. I’m not your lover, and not even close enough to be a friend like Jovan, you see I want to be closer to you, to be able to freely talk with you, touch you, laugh with you, and Jovan could do all that, and the thought of someone else being able to do things with you which I couldn’t irritate me the most.”

Vince looked at Lance and then laughed a little. “You really are clueless, aren’t you? Jovan is Abby’s husband, your assistant’s husband!”

Lance felt really stupid. If he had known about it at the very beginning then he wouldn’t have to feel that jealous. Abigail had told him about her husband and how he treats one of their friends as his own brother, sometimes even as his own son. He should have guessed it sooner. But somehow even though Jovan is married to Abigail, Lance couldn’t stop feeling jealous of his closeness with Vince.

“You said you are jealous because you have no relation with me at all, we’re not lovers, we’re not friends, but I didn’t say we couldn’t. I also said that I don’t date people like you, I never said that I can’t, and I never said that I won’t.” The way Vince talked, Lance could tell that he is pretty drunk. “Fine, let’s be friends! That way you won’t be so jealous anymore.”

Lance’s heart skipped a beat. Even though it was just being friends, it made him really happy that he could be closer to Vince. “You’re drunk.” Lance said calmly, trying his best to hide his true emotions

Vince turned his head. He didn’t look drunk at all. “I’m not.” Vince said in a convincing tone. But then, he smirked and then giggled as he put his arms around Lance’s neck and then pulled him closer. “I’ll tell you a secret to commemorate our friendship. Cedric isn’t really ill. It was all an act I planned to make Henry agree with what he wanted.” He whispered in Lance’s ears.

Lance was surprised to hear about it, but that was merely overshadowed by his heart racing and his mind whirling as Vince was too close to him. When Vince whispered in his ears, his hair raised and he almost lost his senses. “Your drunk, you should go home.” He said worriedly. He didn’t stop Vince from drinking immediately because he had no idea that Vince would get so drunk so easily. “Vince… Vince… Vince…?” Lance called as he felt that Vince was leaning on him harder, and then he saw Vince almost falling off the chair.

Lance caught Vince and then held him tight. “For someone so energetic, you sure do get drunk so fast.” Lance said with a smile.

Although it was an embarrassing thing to do, Lance had memorized Vince’s every personal detail written in his resume; from Vince’s current address to his birthday, and even the schools he attended, and most recently Vince’s phone number.

Carrying Vince gently and carefully, Lance made his way to Vince’s apartment door. He didn’t care about the stares he got, all he was thinking was to get Vince home safely. He was afraid that he might drop Vince because his body was trembling because of nervousness.

Lance had managed to open the door using the keys in Vince’s pocket. Lance found Vince’s room at the end of the apartment, it was easy to find because Vince’s name hanged on the door. Lance carefully put Vince down on the bed. It was amazing how peaceful and beautiful Vince looked while sleeping. He looked so innocent.

Lance was already squatting when he got drawn into Vince’s face. He moved closer and closer until his lips were almost touching Vince’s. He stopped. With his lips still so close, he looked at Vince. His heart was pounding. His mind was crowded with different thoughts. He was intoxicated just by being so close to Vince. He did his best to hold back, but he felt that he was failing, so he moved away.

Leaving out a heavy breath, Lance stood up and looked away. Even just being in the same room as Vince made it difficult for him to control his self especially when Vince looked innocently tempting. Lance looked away.

“Don’t go…” He heard Vince mumbled. Lance was surprised and he looked back. He saw Vince’s forehead furrowing, it seemed like Vince was having a nightmare. “Don’t go… don’t leave me…” Lance was curious as to who Vince was dreaming of. “Please, don’t leave me…. Lance.” Lance’s gulped, his heart stopped, and his eyes widened. He was sure that he heard his name.

“Why are you being so honest now?” Lance said in a trembling voice as he covered his mouth, slowly, with his right hand, worried that he might wake Vince up. He walked closer to Vince’s bed and sat on the side of the bed. He took Vince’s hand and held it tight, before kissing it. “I’m here. I won’t leave you, even if you push me away.”

He watched over Vince sleeping, still holding Vince’s hand. He was looking at Vince’s face so gently, and whenever he would see Vince’s forehead furrowed, he runs his other hand over it and would caress it, and Vince would calm down instantly. He would touch Vince’s cheeks occasionally as well. Lance did that for hours, and he didn’t even felt time pass by. He was happy to be simply beside Vince. If only Vince is as honest when he is sobered, then everything would be perfect.

Lance heard the door of the apartment open. He wondered who it was, he was worried. Then the door of Vince’s room opened. A familiar-looking lady stood by the door. “Who the hell are you?!” The lady sounded very alarmed. “What did you do to Vince?!” The lady was about to rush to Vince’s bed.

“Ahhh… You’re that one in the club, the one who ruined my shirt.” Lance said in realization, holding back his voice as much as he could.

The lady froze in her tracks. “Ahhh…” The lady sounded embarrassed.

“I’m Lance Wolfe, Vince’s boss.” Lance said as the lady looked at him.

“Boss?” There was a gleam in the lady’s eyes. “So it’s you…” She said meaningfully. “My name is Melissa, Vince’s friend. I live with Vince.” She said.

“What?” Lance was a bit alarmed. Vince was living with a woman. He looked very worried.

“It’s not like that, don’t worry. He’s staying here for the time being until he finds a place on his own.” She said. “What’s wrong with him?” Melissa asked. Lance noticed that Melissa was staring at his hand that was holding Vince’s, but still, he couldn’t let go.

“He got drunk.” Lance said.

“Drunk?” Melissa sounded very surprised. Then her voice changed. “I see.” Her voice was calm.

“I better go, you’re already here so Vince would surely be fine.” Lance stood up. He was about to let go of Vince’s hand but then Vince squeezed his hand tight. He couldn’t pull his hand away.

“Don’t go…” Vince mumbled. Lance turned his head and saw Vince’s eyes slightly open. “Please… don’t go…” Vince said in a very sad voice.

Lance’s heart was beating fast, he felt like time had stopped and everything around him was spinning. Vince was looking at him longingly and sadly. He could feel Vince’s sadness, worry, and fright, and it breaks his heart. It was the first time in his life that he had wished for someone’s happiness more than his own.

Vince’s eyes then closed. Lance felt very weak. He was still in disbelief. He had mixed emotions over what had happened. Vince feels the same way as he does and he was sure of that. Vince wants to be with him, there is no doubt. The only question was; what’s stopping Vince from being true to his own feelings? What’s making him so scared of being honest?

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Melissa sat by the end of Vincent’s bed after Lance had left. She was quiet for quite some time before she finally spoke. “He’s gone, you could stop pretending.” She said.

Vincent opened his eyes slowly. He felt so guilty for deceiving Lance. He may have pretended to be drunk, but everything he had said was true. He wanted Lance to stay by his side more than anything else.

When Lance stayed by his side, when Lance held his hand and touched his face, it was the happiest moment in his life so far. He felt so safe and comfortable with Lance. His heart was pounding that he was hoping that Lance hadn’t noticed it.

“Why do you have to pretend to be drunk?” Melissa asked in a mellow tone.

Vince sat up. “It’s the only way I could think of to say what I really feel to him. I’m afraid, Melissa, I’m afraid, that if I told him that when he knows that I am sober, that he would be even more persistent in pursuing me. If continues on doing so, then I’m sure I would lose control and he would get what he wants, I’m afraid to really fall for him.”

“Vince… You have to be honest with yourself, about what you feel. Stop being afraid, not everyone you fall in love with would end up leaving you behind. Not everyone in this world is like them. You have to give him a chance.”

“He’s a man, Melissa, a son of a very rich family. One way or another, if his family finds out about this they would make sure that we are separated, that either he or I would leave the other. I can’t handle the feeling of being left behind anymore. I’ve had enough of it. I won’t be able to take another one.”

“Until when are you going to be afraid, until when are you going to shut yourself away from anyone who wants to love and be with you. You have to live in the present, Vince, stop living in your painful memories. If you’re afraid that one day he would leave you, then love him and show it to him as much as you can when you are still with him. And if you really can’t take him leaving you, then do something to make sure he wouldn’t be able to, do something so that he would choose to be with you over anyone and anything else. Make him fully yours.”

“I can’t do that Melissa.”

“Yes you can, we all know you can.” Melissa said with conviction.

“For all we know, what he feels is just a passing fancy. He might just be confused.”

“When you look at him, when he looks at you when the two of you talk to each other when you are with him when he touches you, is there even a bit of doubt in you about what he truly feels? Because judging by what I saw, the way he looks at you, the way he held your hand, I could see that what he feels is true. Trust his feelings, even just a little. Now tell me, you really like him a lot don’t you, because if you do not then you wouldn’t feel act that way.”

Vincent then looked at Melissa. “I do. I like him real bad, to the point that I think I’m going crazy. But what could I do? I don’t have any courage to fall and be hurt all over again.”

“I don’t know Vince.” Melissa said as she stood up. “I have a feeling that this time it’s different. I have a feeling that Lance would protect you until the very end.”