First off, I never have the feeling that I already taken care off a toddler. Second, I have no idea what toddlers are supposed to do.

Zan ran around the house and picked up things which most of it are not supposed to be picked on anyway. I don't know how many "No"s that I already told her but she won't listen.

"Zan! No!" I screamed then she threw Doug's food all over the place. Then she flees the crime scene.

"Yeah. Go ahead and mess things up again!"I said sarcastically even if I know that she doesn't understand me then I started cleaning up Doug's food.

"I don't know if you're deaf or you just don't understand me,"I mumbled then I heard her crying. I didn't finished cleaning up the dog food and just ran as quickly as possible. Following Zan's cry. Then I found her lying on the floor beside the puddle of water from the mop.

"Oh no!"I said worriedly. I ran to Zan and picked her up then I checked her head and put my head all around it to find the swell. But I guess the bump she has is not that hard. But still, she slipped and that made her cry.

"Come on. Let's watch some television instead,"I told her then we walked away from that area. I put her on the couch and turned on the television. We watched Monsters Inc and Zan laughed to some scenes. If she's deaf then she must've not hearing what she's watching therefore she shouldn't be laughing right now. But I guess she's not deaf at all.

"Zan,"I called her but she wouldn't turn her head to me. Her attention is still on the television. Maybe this is what Aluminus is talking about. Zan's different.

"Mama!"she said then turned to me with a huge smile on her face,"Mama!"

"Yes. I'm your Mother,"I told her while pointing to myself. Then she shook her head while watching then stood up and started jumping on the couch.

"No! Don't jump on the couch or you'll fell!"I told her while putting her to sit down. Well, she sat down then after a few seconds, she stood up again and jumped on the couch.

"That's it. No more TV!"I warned her then she is still jumping. I grabbed the remote and turned off the TV. Then she began whining and screaming.

"Mama! Mama! Mama!" She says then she starts pushing and pulling me. Then grabbed the remote and gave it to me,"Mama!"

"Okay. Okay,"I said then I turned on the TV,"Atleast you know how to communicate somehow."

Her attention is now back on the television. Then I stood up and just went back to cleaning. As long as she don't mess up the house again, I'll be fine.

After the cleaning schedule in the house, I washed Zan and changed her clothes. Then I packed some milk and diaper to prepare for Yvonne's practice. Then I tried lifting her up and walked but she's too heavy right now. So I decided to walk with her instead. But while were on the road, she let go of my hand then ran away from me.

"Zan!"I yelled then I ran to her. She just ran and ran until she reached into the road where there are cars. My heart is palpitating and sweat is all over me because of fear and nervousness. Good thing that I got her before she could even reached to that road.

"Come here you little prick!"I said while she's struggling to get out from my arms.

"Stay still!"I said while she's resisting.

"You can't go there! Do you want to die?!"I told her but she just kept on whining.

"I can't leave you behind to that house! We need to go to your sister's practice!" Yeah I know. She couldn't understand me but I'm still talking to her she can.

While having battles with this kid, I saw an ice cream vendor. I immediately approached there and bought an ice cream cone.

"Here,"I said while panting as I gave it to Zan. But Zan is not interested and just smashed the ice cream that it fallen on the ground.

"You are only the kid who doesn't like ice cream,"I told her then she started whining again, referring to go to that road.

"Okay. We'll go to that road together but we'll ride something, okay?"I told her even if she's not listening to me. Then we walked to that road and I held Zan's hand tightly so that I would not lose her again. When we reached to the bus station, we get in and Zan started freaking out again and that she wants to get out of the bus.

"No Zan. We have to ride here. This is the only way to get to Yvonne,"I told her but she still kept on resisting. God. This is harder than I thought.

I brought her with me to the back of the seats and she just kept on crying. Some people are looking at us with concern look on their faces and I just smiled them nervously.

"She hasn't slept this afternoon that's why she's like this,"I told them with a nervous chuckle. Then they turned their heads back to the road and I sighed.

Me and Zan struggled all the way to Yvonne's school. When we arrived, we quickly got off the bus and stopped at the trees where I hid and watched Natalia before. I looked like a mess and Zan too. Then we quickly went to the playground where Yvonne and I are supposed to meet. When I saw her, she waved at me shortly then Zan quickly let go off my hand and ran towards the swing where the kids are playing. I thought that she's going to dodge or stop from the kid swinging through the air but she didn't and she was bumped by this kid on the swing that made her fell down on the ground. Her face turned red then she cried very loud.

"Zan!"I shouted as I ran towards her. The kid on the swing looks shocked like she's guilty that she hurt Zan.

So I just smiled at her nervously,"It's not your fault, darling. It's okay."

The kid nodded then Yvonne went to us, looking concerned. I stood up with Zan then we went back to the bench where Yvonne is sitting.

"Is she going to be okay?"Yvonne asked me in the middle of Zan's screams. Then I saw a huge bump on Zan's head with a little wound on it.

"I have to bring her to the hospital,"I said worriedly.

"It's okay. We don't have to go to my practice for today,"Yvonne said.

"No,"I told her,"You have to. I'll bring you over to Vermont and leave you there then I'll just bring Zan over to the hospital as fast as I can."

"Okay,"she said then we quickly took off.

Zan is still crying when we arrived at Vermont. We said goodbyes to each other then I quickly rode a cab to bring us to the hospital. Zan finally stopped crying and just went to sleep. I called Aluminus. It's a relief that he answered.

"Zan was hit by the swing at Zan's school playground,"I told him. And I can imagine how worried and shock his expression right now.

"Why did you let that happen?!"he said.

"I thought she's going to dodge it but then I remembered that she's different. Then she bumped,"I said while getting nervous for Aluminus getting mad at me.

"Were headed to the hospital,"I told him.

"And Yvonne?"he asked.

"I left her at Vermont for a while. If we took too long at the hospital, can you get her there instead?"

"Yes of course,"he said then I heard him sighed.

"I'm sorry, Aluminus. I will be careful and more alert next time."

"You should be,"Aluminus said coldly,"I gotta go. Text me if you have updates."

"I will. Bye,"I said then I turned off the phone. Aluminus is upset with me for letting this to happen to Zan.

We arrived at the hospital and after a few minutes of waiting, we finally talked to a doctor. He healed Zan's swell by putting a cold compress on it, put some cream medicine then a band aid. While on the process, Zan cried a lot and very loud.

"There, it's done now,"the Doctor said as he smiled at her and trying to get her attention. But Zan just looked away and kept on crying.

"Is she like this all the time?" The Doctor asked.

"Sort of,"I said.

The Doctor smiled at me then he stood up to get his card board and gave it to me. I fill in the information needed there while Zan just walk around and touch a few stuff like she always do in the house. She still looks frustrated and doesn't know what to do. And I think she's already tired for the day.

When were finally done, Aluminus called.

"Oh finally! You called,"I said with relief.

"Why? What happened?"he worriedly asked.

"Zan's frustrated and I can still hear her crying even if she already stopped,"I said while panting then Zan ran over to some kid at her age who is looking confused because Zan grabbed her bottle of milk. I ran over there quickly and returned the milk to the kid while smiling to her mother nervously. I grabbed Zan and just walked away from other people as far as possible.

"Silvanna?"Aluminus kept calling my name on the line.

"Sorry. Zan is grabbing stuff that is not for her again,"I said then Zan is about to walk away from me again then I grabbed her arm,"God! Why can't you just stand still?!"

I heard Aluminus sighing,"That's why she needs to see that pediatrician right away so we can solve those kind of behaviors."

Then I remembered her seeing with the other kid in her age who is a bit more "normal" than her. At first, I find Aluminus hard to understand and that these kind of Zan's behaviors is normal but it's not.

"I'm at the entrance lobby. Where are you?"Aluminus said.

"Oh you're here! Um...in the fire exit?"I said as I look around. Zan is crying again because she wants to go everywhere again,"And hurry up please. My arm is getting tired."

"On our way. Just stay there,"he said then the call drop. And as what Aluminus said, he and Yvonne came. Then Aluminus grabbed Zan and put her into his arms. But Zan wants to get down.

"Nope! We're going home, honey,"Aluminus told her,"Let's go."

We quickly arrived at the parking lot with Zan shouting and crying. The people we passed through are like confused and a bit worried seeing how Zan acted the whole adventure to the parking lot. When we finally got in the car, Zan finally stopped crying.

"She likes in the car,"Aluminus told me as he closed the door then quickly start the engine.

"Are you in a hurry?"I asked him when I noticed how speedy he is in starting the car.

"If were idle even if were in the car, Zan will cry again,"he said as he drive the car away from the parking lot.

After a few minutes of driving, Zan finally went to sleep while Yvonne is just staring at the window, looking sleepy too.

"I should've not given you the task to babysit Zan. She's hard to handle than most of the kids,"Aluminus said while his attention is at the road,"And I'm sorry if I get mad at you earlier. Things have been a little rough lately."

I nodded as I fully understand what he felt,"I understand. And it's okay. You have a right to be mad after what happened to Zan. I was stupid. I'm sorry."

Aluminus shook his head and he looked like his thinking about something,"Things have been tough lately with Zan. And as a Father, it's hard for me to handle all these kids by myself."

"By yourself? I'm here, Am I?"I asked him.

Aluminus just stared at the road and didn't say another word. And it feels like he's telling me that I haven't been there for them before I had the car accident.