When I returned to my book and a love scene was described all the flashbacks to my ex came to my mind. All the good times Patrick and I shared. Sure our relationsship wasn‘t pefect. Sometimes we had little fights over the most stupid things such as the time he wanted to watch a horror movie and I didn‘t or when we argued over which breed of dog is the best one. Dalmatiner. Clearly.

He was the first boyfriend that seemed to really care for me though. He was always the first one to deliver a sweet surprise, randomly in the morning, on my birthday or our 3-month anniversary.

I enjoyed his company lots and quite frankly the break up came as a shock. To this day I am not sure why he even chose to break up. He texted me a couple days ago but I never responded. I wasn‘t ready to have this conversation.

Naturally I got really upset thinking about him. I did not allow myself to cry though, the party was soon and I needed to get ready.

I wore my new top and my favourite jeans shorts. I did not bring much makeup with me but what I had I put on. My hair is naturally wavy, so I just let the waves fall over my shoulder. I smiled at myself in the mirror. I didn‘t look bad.

The common room was decorated with a few banners and a disco ball. Nothing particulary fancy. Although it was only shortly past 8pm, the suppose start of the party, a lot of people were already there. I decided to get myself a drink first thing. As I am not huge on beer I decided to get cider which I never had before but sounded better than the other options.

I am generally a shy person. Or socially awkward, call it what you want. I am not the type of person to mingle with a group of strangers, nor the one to go all out on the dance floor. I always had difficulties approaching strangers.

For a few minutes I awkwardly stood by the side of the dance floor and sipped my drink. All I did was watch the other people. A couple making out on the side of the floor, a group of young men loudly chatting and downing beers, a few girls and boys dancing it up in the middle of the room and smaller groups of people sitting together and chatting here and there.

It wasn‘t much later when I finally saw Maia. Kind of the reason why I chose to attend the party in the first place. Well her and the fact that I did want to make friends and maybe figure out how to socialise with others better.

She was with Olivia who I briefly met yesterday and another girl and two boys I had never seen. For a few seconds I was just looking at Maia but I definitely did not want her to catch me starring so I quickly averted my gaze. I really hoped she would notice me and come over but she didn‘t.

In the end the choices I had was standing here in the corner all by myself for the rest of the night or approach her and her group of friends.

Of course all my worries, as always, were totally unnecessary, Maia was happy to see me. „Lilli- Hi“ She exclaimed as she hugged me. I slowly put my arms around her back, feeling slightly awkward but I loved the quick body contact.

She introduced me to all the others. Apperantly Olivia and her have travelled here together and met the other three in the hostel.

I finished my first cider and immediately bought a second one. It wasn‘t long until that was finished either. The conversation we were having was fun, casual. I found out quite a few things about the other people, Maia too. Apperantly she got suspended from school once for drinking alcohol on school grounds with her friends. And she and Olivia had kissed the same guy before, at a party while travelling together.

As we got more and more drunk someone decided to play a game of Never have I ever. It‘s a drinking game in which you have to drink if you have done something. We each took turns asking the questions. Never have I ever stolen something. I have, a coin from the kitchen table when I was like 5, Maia has too.

Never have I ever cheated on a test. Hasn‘t everyone?

Never have I ever kissed a girl. All the boys had to drink obviously, but so did Maia and Olivia, seems like I am the only one who actually hasn‘t.

„You‘ve never?“ Maia looked at me with wide eyes, she seemed surprised.

„No, never“. I didn‘t really know why it was so surprising. I haven‘t actually kissed a lot of people, like 3 in total.

We kept playing, going through a few different questions until we did not really have any good ideas anymore.

We were quite tipsy at that point, some would even say drunk. Maia and Olivia wanted to hit the dance floor for a little bit and I agreed to join. I was feeling the music, it was loudly drumming in my ears. The room was sticky, many people squeezing on the floor together. Most of them had at least a few drinks.

I really enjoyed moving to the beat of the music. I wasn‘tthinking about anything, just feeling the joy of dancing. Maia had taken both mine and Olivias hand in hers, she was spinning us around and we were jumping together. I felt joyful and worryfree.

A bit later we needed a break from all the moving, it didn‘t take much to find the rest of the group from earlier. Apperantly they had switched games to Truth or Dare, another party classic although one I would have expected at a preteen party more than here.

„Yo girls, Derek just had to go over to the hot girls over there and make only animal sounds. He choose a monkey“ They couldn‘t stop laughing. Despite all the alcohol in my blood, from ciders and two shots of Vodka, I did not find it overly funny yet I prentended to slighty laugh while I sat down next to Maia on the small bench opposite the boys and Julia, which is the other girls name.

„Maia, truth or dare?“ „Truth“ „Tell us about your first kiss“ „That‘s not even a question, Derek“ She pointed out but answered nevertheless. „I think I was about 13, it was with a boy from my dance class. It was nothing special, just like a quick peck. I had practiced in front of the mirror though, for that occassion“

A few rounds later it was my turn. Normally I always choose truth. This time however I went with dare both to seem less boring and to avoid any questions that could get super awkward, like relating to Maia or my ex boyfriend.

They seemed to think about it for a few seconds, it makes sense, we don‘t really know each other that well yet, shortly after Jason seemed to have a great idea though:

„ I dare you to kiss Maia, as you never kissed a girl before“

I was shocked. There was no way I expected that. Maia didn‘t seem to mind though, she came closer to me. My heart was beating super fast. She couldn‘t be serious about that, she couldn‘t possibly kiss me soon.

But she did.

Her lips landed on mine. At first I didn‘t move at all, I just felt how soft her lips were but slowly I leaned into the kiss and kissed her back. It was a great kiss, it was slow and sweet yet a little passionate. Why are we kissing like that? I guess it‘s the alcohol. Yeah, probably.

I am not sure how long it lasted before she pulled away. Likely not very long, still I felt so many things during it. It was intense and I enjoyed it a lot. I could taste her strawberry chapstick.

When she pulled away, she smiled at me after. There seems to be no awkwardness from her side, she is immediately ready to jump to the next truth or dare. I on the other hand am hung up on that kiss. Over and over my mind replays the kiss. Sweet lips touching mine.

We all had a couple shots after. I will probably have to deal with a hangover tomorrow. For now we were all back on the dance floor, spinning and jumping around. We stayed there for a long while, it wasn‘t any earlier than 3am when I went to bed.