“I CAN’T believe it…” Maggie mumbled as they walked out of the disciplinary office. She’s sure that her face was all red now in so much embarrassment that her alter persona caused her. “W-what have she done?”

“Sir Mark shouldn’t show it to you…” Dustin told her. Maggie can also sense in his tone that he’s embarrassed about what they have watched in front of the disciplinary teacher. “I hope it won’t make you avoid me, Maggie.”

Maggie looked at Dustin. She didn’t expect it from him. “I-I should be the one bothering about that…” she said shyly. “I’m sorry, Dustin. I really don’t know what happened—”

The man groaned. “I feel kinda disappointed that you’re sorry about it,” he said in a serious tone. When she lowered her head, he laughed and touched her shoulders. “Just kidding, Maggie.”

Maggie awkwardly smiled at Dustin. She’s still shocked that her greatest crush is speaking casually to her as if they’re close friends! “I thought you’re serious…”

“Well, I know that it wasn’t you,” he said then looked in her eyes. “You have different eyes, Maggie. The way you look at me is different from the way Maxine looks at me.”

She reverted her gaze to Dustin’s lips. How she wished that she remembered that moment her alter persona kissed him. But she can’t. Every time they’re switching, it was as if she’s lost and the next time she knew it, several hours have passed, and she couldn’t remember a single thing about it.

“H-How does she looks at you?” Maggie asked Dustin. She wanted to meet his gaze, but every time they’re locking each other’s gaze, Maggie felt like melting. It was as if his eyes were sending burning feelings inside her core. “How does my alter persona looks at you, Dustin?”

It took seconds for Dustin to answer, and for Maggie, it was like an eternity. “She looked at me as if he knew me,” he said. “I don’t know. It’s funny because it’s the first time that I saw you acted like that.”

Maggie knotted her forehead. So it means… Dustin has noticed me before? She looked up at him. “How did you know that it wasn’t the way I usually act?” Maggie wanted to congratulate herself for not wavering. “I-I thought you don’t know me.”

“We go in the same school, I am one of the student councils and we’re on the same year level,” Dustin replied. “And, besides, we always see each other in the hallway, right? You were always with your friend, Rose.”

Maggie’s cheeks turned red. She didn’t know that Dustin was paying her attention during those times. She lowered her head in embarrassment. “I shouldn’t ask you that question…”

Dustin laughed. “Why?” he bent low to look at her face. “Actually, I’ve been noticing you from the first day of the school year last year. We met in the library, right? You borrowed a romance book, but since the librarian was out I was the one that assisted your concerns.”

She gasped. “You still remembered that day?”

“Of course,” Dustin laughed. “You borrowed the book that I donated in the library,” he said and smiled. “But every time we met in the hallways you were ignoring me, so I thought that maybe you don’t remember me.”

“No,” she countered. “I-I mean… I’m just—” She stuttered. “I don’t know how will I approach you.”

“Is it because of the gossips about me? That I am an untouchable psychology student?” he laughed. “Well, somehow it’s true. I don’t really speak with other students, especially those… you know. It kinda feels awkward.”

“Because the girls were chasing you?” she asked. “It’s because you’re popular.”

“And I don’t know why,” he said and let out a sigh. “I’m glad we are now friends, Maggie.”

“F-friends…” she repeated. Her chest is hammering wildly. 

Is she dreaming? Is it real that Dustin, the popular student told her that they’re friends? She then remembered about Maxine, her alter persona. If it wasn’t because of her, this would not happen. It was Maxine that lead her to Dustin… Maxine was her total opposite because she can do the things that Maggie’s afraid to try, like speaking to Dustin… She even kissed him!

“We’re friends, right?” Dustin repeated.

She looked at him and smiled. “Of course…” she said. “Who am I to say no?”

~0~

“MOM…”

From the book that Madison is reading in their living room, she looked up at Maggie in a knotted forehead. “Yes, darling?”

Maggie hesitated to speak. She has asked her mother before about her childhood, but she never gave her exact answers. “I’m turning twenty-one this year, right?”

“Yes, why? Do you want to throw a party on your birthday?” She raised from her seat and walked towards her. “Do you have something in mind, Maggie?”

“No, I don’t want a party, mommy…” she said with a sigh. “I just think if… if maybe it’s the right time for me to know about my childhood…?”

Madison’s expression changed. “Why do you want to know about it? It wasn’t that important. You were a sweet kid—” 

“Mom, it’s important,” she countered. “Especially, if those memories include my time with dad. And, I want to know why I couldn’t remember a single thing about him—”

“Because you were just a toddler when he died,” Madison cut off and reached for her hand. “Maggie, we’ve talked about this, right? Why are you suddenly wanted to know about it?”

“We never talked about it, mom,” she said, trying her best to control her tears. “Every time I asked you about it, you’re changing the topic.”

“Maggie…” Madison looked at her in the eyes. “Your dad died when you were just a three-year-old toddler—”

“What caused his death?” she asked in furrowed brows. “And, why we can’t talk about him?”

Maggie expected that her mother would just catch her forehead and heaved a sigh. “You’re just tired from school, Maggie. Take a rest, we’ll talk about it next time, okay?”

When her mother went back to the couch and continued reading, Maggie let out a sigh. She doesn’t understand why her mother doesn’t want to talk about her father. She has to know about her past or what happened in her childhood, she has a feeling that it might be the reason for Maxine’s existence… Or, my existence? Who came out first?

***