Daring To Live

***

"Thank you so much, Philadelphia! You guys have been so Amazing!"

I shouted, bowing low once more to the expansive crowd who cheered and chanted in excitement. The Arena was buzzing, an energy that both intoxicated and absolutely mesmerized me.

I was just as star-struck, amazed at how far I had come. Never could I have imagined that I would be here, in front of a filled arena doing what I loved the most. From the first moment I stepped onto a stage, all these people from different walks of life, gathered here to listen to my music.

Music I never thought Anyone would listen to, let alone like so much to sell out a concert.

Not only had this night been remarkable but the last couple of months had also been beyond my wildest dreams as I toured the world for the first time in my career.

My fans were my life and their support meant so much to me. I could feel the tears bubble up from within me as I thought about all I had been through, what I had accomplished and to have healed enough to come on this stage and sing my heart out.

"You guys are my Family! I would not be here without you all so thank you so much, from the bottom of my heart! I do this for All of You!"

I shouted once more, earning an even louder round of cheers and screams as I walked down the stage aisle and waved to them once more, blowing all of them kisses. It was a euphoric moment as they all began to chant one name.

"Harpie!"

I laughed out loud, letting their voices wade through me, healing me slowly by slowly. Reinforced the fact that I did deserve to be here. I deserved to be happy. 

My earpiece crackled to life with the stage management dimming the lights, signalling the true end of the show. I reluctantly turned towards my crew of dancers and backup singers, gesturing for them to make their way off stage as I followed behind.

Despite wanting to stay longer, to bask in the incredible energy of my fans, I made my way backstage where Jonah Scott, my manager was standing, a wide grin on his lips as he watched the crowd behind me. I knew that he, too, could not believe how far we had come. He had been there with me since the beginning and believed in me even when I doubted myself.

I owe him so much...

There were countable people who knew me truly in the entire world and Jonah was definitely one of them. His copper-coloured hair was pulled into a man bun, and his dark brown eyes filled with mirth and warmth as they turned back to me. Dressed in a black leather jacket, matching muscle shirt, blue washed jeans and black combat boots, he looked every bit the fit and handsome man that he had always been.

Heck, even he had groupies who adored him and had dubbed him as one of the most handsome DILFs in the Entertainment world. He was a celebrity before but being my manager had propelled him into the main limelight just as much as I had. He understood me more than anyone else and together, we had navigated through the rise to stardom and the pros and cons of sudden exposure.

"That was an amazing show, Harper. It was certainly the perfect way to close out the tour. You, as always, gave it your all."

He complimented me as he proffered his elbow out for me, a routine we had grown into since the first moment we met and he made me into who I was now. His gentlemanly side was a reflection of the Texan native he was, a contrast to the 'bad boy' persona that had been dubbed upon him for his extensive tattoos and his dark-themed outfits.

"I really did. Thank you, Jo. I felt pretty alive today and they were all an inspiration. I had an amazing crowd tonight. The energy was off the charts."

I replied with a wide smile despite the feel of the adrenaline washing away, leaving me with the fatigue accumulated from months and months of touring different cities all around the world. I would crash and burn soon and I would welcome the sleep with wide open arms. It would be a well-deserved rest.

"You've always been modest. Everyone agrees that your vocals were incredible today. I know we've pushed you pretty hard and seeing you out there tonight, giving it your all. I couldn't have been prouder,"

He praised, opening the door to my changing room for me that was glamorous, to say the least, and looked more like a lavish hotel room. Something had shifted, though, and it had me gasping in excitement and awe as I took in the transformation.

Red and White roses surrounded every single corner of the room, the bouquets filling the space with a glorious scent. Excitement coursed through me as I turned to grant my manager a wide grin, a twinkle in my eyes no doubt.

There was no flower I loved more than roses and although some found it to be a cliché, it was a timeless gift that never failed to spread Goosebumps across my skin. Only a few knew of my true love for Red and White roses and had me turning to my manager as I gestured at the entire space.

"You didn't have to, Jonah..."

I gushed, earning a small chuckle from my manager as he sheepishly scratched the back of his neck. It was not the reaction I was expecting but I was too pumped up on adrenaline from the show and the pleasant, heartwarming surprise to read any further into his reaction.

Not until he spoke up.

"I mean, I am all for showering you with all sorts of gifts but this wasn't me...My bouquet as well as the labels own were sent to your hotel room as usual. Let me find out who the mystery gift giver is..."

The tone of his voice lacked the usual playfulness that would have been there if he were messing with me. No, he meant it and it filled me with absolute surprise as I turned back to the room whilst he pulled out his phone and began his inquiry.

Although I knew better than to venture forth without clearance not only from Jonah but also from security, my curiosity was begging me to explore, my heart beating rapidly in my chest. I had had a couple of scares from stalkers in the past thus the caution but something deep within me knew that this was not sinister.

This was nothing like what I had gone through before, with the truly obsessed individuals who had stormed into my life occasionally.

Could it be him...my secret admirer?.

I thought of the flowers I had received time and time again. They were usually sent to my hotel room, always with a single golden card...

Thoughts running wild, my gaze latched onto the golden card, pausing my movements as I stopped in front of my dresser. True enough, there was the small card placed carefully atop the massive bouquet of red roses on my dresser top. For a moment, my heart stuttered in my chest before I pushed myself, resolve engulfing me as I took a step towards it. 

It's fine, Harper...It's just a gift card...Probably the usual typed 'thank you' for the show...

Taking a deep breath, I picked the card up and opened it with shaking hands, preparing myself for whatever contents were within it. All wild thoughts were forgotten, however, when my gaze latched onto the elegant handwriting that seemed to dance across the card. Something about it pulled me in, fascinated me and had my heart skipping a beat more so at the message on it.

I am full of thoughts and dreams that scatter; but you pull them all together with your music, your grace and your beauty.

Thank you for a wonderful night, Miss Romano. Until the next.

I blushed, Hard, unable to contain my emotions as I read and re-read the note once more, going as far as to turn it around for any sort of sign-off and seeing none. 

Straight, concise, sweet. His handwriting is incredible...

It was beyond my wildest imagination and yet I couldn't stop the warmth that filled my entire body just as Jonah's footsteps echoed across the floor towards me.

"It was a delivery service that brought them. They're looking into it now..."

He began, his eyes landing on the small card before turning to me once I shook my head, a small smile gracing my lips. I had always trusted my sixth sense. It had gotten me through a lot of dark situations and it was yet to fail me. Even now, I tucked the card into my bag rather than the flower bouquet as my manager watched.

"No...It's okay. There's no need for that. It's not a threat or anything. Just well wishes from a fan."

Jonah was sceptical for a moment before he released a small, winded sigh, pulling his phone out once more to, no doubt, shoot a text to the individuals he had tasked with finding the person behind the delivery. He was always efficient and protective of me and I loved him all the more for it.

Thoughts filled with the simplicity and yet the intensity of the note, I settled onto the couch with a glass of freshly and routinely prepared apple juice, eyeing my manager over the rim of it as he ventured into other topics.

"Now, I know you're tired but I want to talk to you real quick about what comes next. Seeing as this is your last concert, I have informed Bale Records that you'll be taking a break from shows and any scheduled appearances for a while. I want you to go home, relax and take some time for yourself. You never really had a chance to do that after the...you know...and I still feel guilty for not stopping you from working yourself to the bone,"

I wanted to protest, to reassure him that I was okay but I knew Jonah could see right through me. He always had the uncanny ability to know my true thoughts and emotions. He was one of the few people who really, truly knew me. Even now, he shook his head at the sight of my planned protest.

"And I'm not saying you didn't deliver, because you did. Actually, you did exceptionally well and I am in awe of you, as always, but it's time for you to take a small break. It doesn't mean you won't get to do what you want. If you want to keep recording and working on your album, you're welcome to. If you want to schedule small performances, I'll help set them up. But nothing big. Final offer,"

He added the last part, raising a brow at my smirk.

He knew me so well. Knew that I could never stay home and just 'relax'. I had been using my busy schedule as a distraction- a way to run from all the things I could not control in my life and he knew that. I can't say I didn't partly see it coming.

He had been worried about me and I knew he was doing what he believed was best for me and I couldn't love him more for it. He was a great manager and one of the most important people in my life.

"I can't say no to your final offer, now can I? You've driven a hard bargain. I really appreciate this, though, Jo. Thank you for always looking out for me. I'm going to follow your advice, and take some time off to rest. I'm ready."

I replied with a light chuckle at his stunned expression as I sipped the beyond-tasty drink. No one could convince me that Apple Juice was not the best thing to ever grace this planet. I knew he was expecting a fight but I was done worrying him. I knew it was time to process everything that I had gone through.

"You know that I will always be here for you, okay? I've got your back. Whatever time it is, wherever you are, just call me and I will be there. I promise."

He squeezed my hand tight, his words warming my heart considerably as I squeezed his hand back in return and nodded, too emotional to say much.

"Okay then. I know we need to celebrate your last night on tour but I'm afraid I have to pick up Marie from the airport. She and I are having a rare night out in Philly without the twins. We can pass by later if you're up for it..."

I grinned wide at the mention of his long-time girlfriend and mother of his twin boys. The two of them had been dating for years and their love story was one for the ages. Knowing that they were trying to make it work after their own ups and downs filled me with hope, and reminded me that love did work out for some people.

"No, it's okay. Go to her. You two deserve a break. It's been a long time coming. I'll be fine. I'll just have some drinks at the hotel."

I shooed him away, earning a sheepish smile in response.

"Or maybe you won't need to go to the hotel..."

He murmured, his words confusing me, but I barely had time to process before a knock sounded on the door, pulling our attention from each other to it.

The sight of my best friends poking their heads through before proceeding further into the room had me silently gasping, my entire form overcome with so much emotion and warmth at their presence.

The three of them had told me they would not be able to make it tonight and we had promised to meet when I returned home to New York.

Of course, they were all planning something...

I grinned wide, chuckling in amusement at their excited squeals that I returned in earnest before we milled together in a tight group hug.

"You guys! You came!"

I murmured, keeping the tears at bay as I revelled in the warmth of their hugs. The three women before me were more than just friends to me. They were my sisters, my closest companions and had been with me through the darkest moments of my life. We had supported each other, grown together.

I couldn't imagine my life without Yara, Aniyah and Calliope.

"Of course, we did. How could we possibly not attend the last concert of your world tour?"

Yara murmured, holding me at arm's length as her dark brown eyes glowed with just as much emotion and love.

"We missed you, Bella. So much!"

Ani echoed, holding my hand tightly in her own as Calli brushed a couple of loose strands of my hair behind my ear.

"God, it was so hard to keep a tight lid on this little surprise."

She murmured, granting me a sheepish smile as we all turned to Jonah who shrugged with his own small smile.

"I couldn't let you celebrate alone tonight. Now, ladies, enjoy yourselves. William and Luke are ready to take you wherever you want to go tonight. I need to hurry to the airport."

He glanced at his watch, wincing at the sight of the time. I pulled him into a swift hug before lightly shoving him to the door.

"Go...I'll see you soon. And thank you, Jonah. For everything."

After a quick kiss on the cheek, he was gone, leaving the three of us staring after his retreating form.

"I've said it before and I will say it again. That man is gorgeous. Sexiest DILF in the world indeed. Marie is so damn lucky."

Yara groaned, each of us watching as Jonah disappeared through the crew who were packing up and getting ready to leave the arena.

"Oh yeah. She definitely is."

Calli murmured, earning chuckles from the rest of us at her deep blush.

"Don't you have a boyfriend, slut?"

Ani chuckled once we closed the door, her words met by a shrug as she settled on the couch with Yara.

"Well, it doesn't mean I can't admire what's right in front of me. And you three have no right to judge me. You were thinking the same damn thing."

Calli defended, earning shrugs from us. She was right. Jonah was definitely attractive. It was hard for us Not to crush on him. He had, after all, been at the centre of a stupid bet from our university days.

A bet none of us had managed to win.

"Much as I would love to talk about our resident DILF, I am dying to go out and sample what Philadelphia has to offer. Men we actually have a chance with."

Yara declared, earning nods from all around as Calli got to her feet and began going through my closet to find a suitable outfit.

"Knowing your track record, I'm surprised you don't already have a list of guys waiting for you."

I murmured, earning a loud laugh from the rest as Yara stuck her tongue out at me playfully. It was no secret that Yara Demir was famous among the male population and rightfully so.

She was gorgeous with shoulder-length chocolate brown hair, dark brown eyes and a beautiful smile. Her Turkish heritage shone through in not only her features but also her accented English which endeared her all the more to not only myself but also the men and women enchanted by her charismatic personality and crazy antics.

She was my first true friend, my roommate from University. She was separate from those who wanted something from me because of my last name and had opened my eyes to the freedom I could possibly have, away from the restrictions that had held me back all my life.

She had always been my number one fan and I knew that it would never change, more so after we grew our little family with Calli and Ani.

"Well, now is certainly the perfect time to grow my name in Philly so come on girls! We don't all have fans filling our rooms with flowers. Speaking of which, the Label really went all out this time, huh?"

Yara murmured, gesturing at the room as the rest of the ladies nodded, equally just as surprised by the sight of the transformed space. I struggled to hold my blush back, choosing instead to grant them all a small smile and shrug.

"What can I say. It's been an amazing night."

"And it's about to get even better. Now come, get changed before Yara loses her mind."

Calli beckoned, gesturing over at Yara who playfully flipped us off as we all chuckled in response. I changed into Calli's chosen outfit for me, admiring her pick and fashion eye. She did, after all, work in one of the top fashion houses in New York.

She clapped her hands excitedly at the sight of the strapless, leather black dress with Christian Louboutin peep toe, heeled sandals. Satisfied, Ani was quick to beckon me to the dresser where I settled before the table, the girls freshening their own make-up beside me. She was quick to pull my long hair into a messy bun, letting a few strands frame my face before she quickly freshened my own makeup.

"There you go. We're now ready to hit the streets!"

She declared, earning a cheer from Yara which had us all laughing in amusement before we grabbed our coats and opened the door where William and Luke were still present, waiting for our exit.

"We have a car waiting at the back entrance. There is, however, paparazzi waiting, Miss Romano."

William's words made me freeze, the familiar anxiety clawing its way through my body as the months and months of braving through their onslaught crashed into me. The feel of Calli and Yara's hands in mine pulled me back to the present, though, calming me as did Ani's small encouraging smile.

"We're right here, babe. And we will Never let anyone hurt you. They'll have to get through us and you know damn well we definitely won't go down without a fight."

Yara declared, her fierce side shining through that had us chuckling in amusement at her words. I laughed, knowing full well that she meant every word and would go to war if the need arose. They had done that for me before and I for them.

We promised to always be there for each other and knowing I had them beside me filled me with confidence and vigour unlike any other.

"Thanks, babe. Now then, William. Luke. Let's do it."

I declared, earning nods from the two bodyguards as we all proceeded forth, the four of us linking our elbows together. William led us at the front, his watchful gaze assessing every bit of the back route as we made our way to the exit.

Luke was, in turn, behind us doing the same, his small, friendly smile filling us with confidence as we arrived at the threshold where the camera flashes were instant the minute William pushed the door open. The questions were loud, many of them centred around the concert but one of them was dark, threatening to plunge me back into the rabbit hole that was my past.

Yara cursed under her breath in Turkish in response, schooling her features as best she could despite the tight grip she had on me, and I couldn't love her more for being so ready to fight for me. Just like Calli and Ani who simply followed William despite their own tense forms. I knew they were holding back, and I adored them for it.

Be strong, for them...

I turned to the Paparazzi, granting them a cheery smile before disappearing into the Chevrolet SUV just as the doors were closed and we were on our way. Sighs resounded within the car with Yara being the first to speak up.

"That piece of absolute garbage..."

She hissed, earning subtle headshakes from Calli and Ani, each of them trying to calm her down as they gestured stealthily at me. I chuckled at their efforts, turning away from the window to grant them all a wide, cheerful smile.

"I'm okay. I promise. Thank you, girls. Now, let's go have some fun! William, take us to the hottest club in Philly!"

***